* Posts by Hubert Cumberdale

4 posts • joined 4 Sep 2019

Wake me up before you Gogo ... so I can jump out: Kenyan MP takes on aeroplane flatulence

Hubert Cumberdale

Not just the pressure...

...some of us just fart a lot. And believe me, I wish I could control it. I've tried all sorts of things, and I avoid certain foods and even certain colours of beer. Antacids, enzyme tablets, bicarb have no effect whatsoever. Eating live, fermenting things such as yoghurt and blue cheese bizarrely seems to help a bit. In any case, I can hold it in for a while, but what results is stomach cramps and lethargy from what I'm guessing is the dissolving of small amounts of hydrogen sulphide (and various carbon chain lengths of thiol) into my bloodstream. And it has to come out some time. Sadly, as you rightly point out, holding it in on a plane is doubly difficult. Never mind eye masks and pillows, maybe they should be handing out these: https://www.myshreddies.com/flatulence/

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

Hubert Cumberdale

I wouldn't mind the variable-quality updates so much...

...if the OS would genuinely let me reboot when _I_ wanted to. Thought I'd got a lid on that through hacking at the scheduled tasks and group policy, but no. Last night my laptop decided to shut itself down around 3am. I'm guessing it was trying to reboot but got stuck on the Bitlocker password request, eventually giving up. If my laptop is on overnight, it's for a reason; rebooting in the middle of some things tends to f*ck them up somewhat. And no, setting my "active hours" is not a useful solution, Microsoft. I understand that many users need to be treated like children, but at least give people who have some idea what they're doing the _option_ to properly control reboots, even if it's buried somewhere.

Breaking, literally: Microsoft's fix for CPU-hogging Windows bug wrecks desktop search

Hubert Cumberdale

Re: It seems to me

After the CPU-hog issue and numerous workaround attempts, I ended up just giving up on it. Removed Cortana (which involved a fun, click-speed-testing task kill and folder rename before it self-restarted) and installed Open-Shell. It's a breath of (old-style) fresh air, to be honest.

Cortana makes your PC's heart beat faster: Windows 10 update leaves some processors hot under the cooler

Hubert Cumberdale

My processor was at 60%...

...I thought it was just rebuilding the search database or something, but it just would not stop. And my start menu search was also utterly borked (just a black panel). Tried all the workarounds, some seemed to help briefly, but it kept coming back. Ended up doing a full re-install keeping settings, still no joy. Was the last straw I needed to make me finally surgically remove Cortana and install Open-Shell. The search actually seems better, if I'm honest.

As an aside, some sources seem to report that it's particularly a problem for people using German as a Windows language. That fits with me. Oddly, though, it only happened on my laptop and not my desktop. In any case, I've now murdered Cortana. Weirdly, I feel slightly guilty about it. Maybe it's pity.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR WEEKLY TECH NEWSLETTER

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019