* Posts by ratfox

3465 posts • joined 3 Sep 2007

Nokia lightens Dark Knight with Batman blower

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Trollface

Q: Why were only 40 produced?

A: They did a study of the market demand for Nokia WinPhones beforehand...

Woz's key to success: Burn the tie, wear T-shirts to work

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Trollface

Sports team?

An anti-creative force?

...I am smelling bad memories from college.

Wikipedia simplifies article editing for world+dog

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Boffin

What about equations?

The current use of LaTeX practically ensures that the contributor has to have a university education in a hard science...

Windows Phones message hub hit by killer SMS

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Trollface

Exclusivity?

You feel that having a rare phone makes you special?

...Sorry, but it feels like you are compensating for something. What are you trying to prove to yourself?

Higgs boson hunters have god particle in their sights

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Joke

@You mean: Obligatory reference

"One million electron-volts is not cool. You know what's cool? One billion electron-volts."

Nokia exec: Young fashonistas 'fed up' with iPhone

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Trollface

This is called the Coué method

"Every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better."

Man fights felony hacking charge for accessing wife's email

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Paris Hilton

Intellectual property? *snort*

I guess married couple cannot claim invasion of privacy, so they went to the next level. I'm surprised they are not charging him with infringing the copyright of her password.

Tablets to outship regular notebooks by 2016

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WTF?

Ultra... book...?

What is this new species?

Secrets of the asteroid belt: Vesta actually more like a planet

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Boffin

Whatever

I would prefer not to be marooned off of it.

Boffing boffins create 3D map of orgasmic female brain

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Happy

That was hot

Best tagline ever

Google set to begin appeal against Italian guilty verdicts

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If it comes to that...

It will be far easier for the company to leave the country altogether. After leaving China, I doubt that they would hesitate for Italy.

Swiss insist file-sharers don't hurt copyright holders

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Angel

Yes, as long as...

You manage to steal food AND live it where it was at the same time.

RIM swallows $485m charge to clear PlayBook tablet mountain

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Unhappy

Poor RIM

I wish them well, but I don't have much hope.

RIM's BlackBerry PlayBook rooted

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Coat

"unleash tool to penetrate tablet"?

That's all you can find? Come on, I'm sure you can do better than that!

Apple files avatar automation, emotion patents

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Mushroom

Here we go: Prior art! Not novel! Stupid USPTO!

Yadda yadda yadda

PayPal founder helps steer super geek cruiser

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Meh

This article would be better with a link, and if possible a picture of the cruiser

Yes, I know Google exists, but I would like the journalist to do the effort for me. I'm selfish that way.

FCC slams AT&T and T-Mobile union

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Joke

Seriously?

The merger was not going to create jobs after all? Colour me surprised!

Mars rover Curiosity autographed by Obama

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Alien

Is this really a good idea?

DEAR CLARA MA,

I AM THE WIDOW OF DICEASED LAAAPR14, RULER OF VICTORIA CRATER. I AM CONTACTING YOU ABOUT A SUM OF 1,000,000,000 (BILLION) ZPTS LEFT TO ME BY MY HUSBAND BEFORE THE REBELS INVADED OUR GIANT CAVE....

Yahoo! and! Sony! tuck! into! interactive! multimedia! ads!

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Unhappy

Paying people to watch ads

Somehow, this feels wrong in all kinds of way...

China overtakes US as world’s biggest smartphone market

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"People know what is smartphone and how to use it thanks to Apple"

"The iPhone is kind of a catalyst for the Chinese smartphone market."

Honestly, I would say it happened the same way in US when the iPhone first came out.

iPhone 4S is for failures who work in coffee shops - Samsung

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Go

Beat me to it

I hope to see more ads like this one — in both directions!

Russian diplomat caught driving while 15 TIMES over booze limit

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Pint

Your data is too old

Switzerland went down to 0.5% years ago.

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Pint

Well, obviously...

We need a new unit: One Russian diplomat = 3g/l.

For instance, Guinness has an alcohol rating of 14 Russian diplomats.

FCC slips dagger into AT&T, T-Mobile merger

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Stop

I have yet to hear...

Of a merger that created jobs.

Rumoured iPhone 5 'will have 4in screen' against Jobs' wish

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Devil

£50 says it is bullcrap.

Any takers?

Microsoft and Samsung uncloak slimmer Surface

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I started reading, thinking this was about a tablet

...Until my eyes fell on "45kg". Quite a shock. That said, it looks cool. I want it to work like that thing in the last James Bond, though.

Oi! BBX is ours, software biz tells RIM

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Facepalm

BASIS International? Who?

Actually, the name of their product is BBx, not BBX, according to its Wikipedia page that has been updated like 20 pages since its creation five years ago. Real famous product. We can assume this lawsuit will only benefit a handful of lawyers.

H6242 – Kill all the lawyers

Google adds 24/7 support for business Apps buyers

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Go

Good, good

The less money in the pockets of M$, the better.

Mystery radioisotopes in Czech air are not from Fukushima

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"did not think that the amount of radioisotope in the atmosphere could harm people."

AIIIEEEE! RUN FOR THE HILLS! THERE IS NO SAFE LEVEL OF RADIOACTIVITY!!

Five years of open-source Java: Freedom isn't (quite) free

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Flame

Java is free and you can use it as you want

But if you are successful with it, expect a call from our lawyers.

Yelp update ridicules Republican (ex)-hopeful Rick Perry

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FAIL

Easy to understand

Merkins Republicans are desperate to find a candidate — any candidate — that is not Mitt Romney. So they acclaim every newcomer, put them in front of the polls, then realize it is an even worse evil, and let them disappear.

So far they have done this with Michelle Bachmann, Donald Trump, Rick Perry and now Hermann Cain.

AND everybody knows the whole circus is useless since Obama will get reelected.

Now Russians can't even contact their busted Mars probe

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WTF?

The craft is INSURED?

You can INSURE something that you send to Mars and will never come back? Insure against what?

If I was the insurance company, I would be crying foul on this one. "Oh, sorry, all the expensive insured equipment on the probe is going to burn in the atmosphere now. Why yes, of course it was really in the probe. No, sorry, you can't go there and check."

US doctors demand right to advise on gun ownership

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WTF?

Why would doctors advise people on guns??

It's like having the mechanic at the garage advising you on kitchen recipes... Guns are a safety issue, not a health issue. Do they also give tips on how to drive safely?

...I take it these doctors are paid to the minute? And much more expensively than a gun safety instructor?

Apple agrees to replace dodgy MacBook power cords

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So the problem exists

I was going to ask, because I had never witnessed it. I guess you must start your own lawsuit in your own country, then...

Results in on why life, the universe and everything exists

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Coat

42

Duh.

Barnes & Noble complain to DoJ over Redmond nobbling

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Go

Good for Barnes&Nobles

I hope we finally get to check how many of these patents stand up in court.

Adobe confirms mobile Flash Player's race is run

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Thumb Up

Flash is dead

And Apple killed it. Go Apple!

By the way, an image search for "apple killed flash" returns a cool result.

Apple trains store bosses to ignore deal with unions

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Trollface

Apple must be quaking

I'm sure it's going to be hard to find other employees if those threaten to leave... What with the low unemployment and all...

A tenth of Chinese farmland polluted by heavy metals

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Isn't rather the point...

That once they are junked, the damage will be lesser?

B&N fans fondleslab flames following Kindle Fire

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Paris Hilton

What does it run?

Android or Windows? Ice cream sammich? Mango? QNX?

...Symbian? ........WebOS?

Google's legal boss is fed up with patent warfare

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Go

Well, he is biased...

But he is also right.

Common brain parasite 'can affect host's actions'

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Alien

Brain-infected cat worshippers?

That'll be the Goa'uld then...

If thine brown eye offend thee, blast it with a laser

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FAIL

"What’s to ensure there’s definitely blue pigment underneath?"

And they call that a doctor? There is no blue pigment. Eyes appear to be blue because of funky Rayleigh scattering.

Hackers mistake French rugby site for German stock exchange

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Pint

How drunk do you have to be?

(body)

Groupon shares soar, adds $2.7bn in two hours

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Pint

This should be fun to watch

No popcorn icon... I'll have to make do with a beer then.

Assange loses High Court appeal against extradition to Sweden

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And then he will appeal, and then the appeal will be rejected, and then he will be extradited, and then he will be judged... Geez.

What I am most curious about is, what is the maximum sentence he risks in Sweden? Very soon, the whole shebang will have lasted longer than if he had started his sentence right after the crime.

Native Gmail app coming to iPhone, iPad?

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Intentionally inferior?

Do you have examples? (note that the Maps iPhone app uses Google data, but was coded by Apple)

Sony Tablet S

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WTF?

Agree

If you want a big screen, buy a laptop, a desktop, or a TV...

"The cool thing with my digital watch is that I can connect it to my 20 inches monitor to display the time in really large letters."

Facebook's Swedish data centre will be subject to Snoop Law

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Trollface

while (<MAIL>) {

if (/surprise sex/) {

&extradite_individual_for_rape();

}

}

Stallman: Did I say Jobs was evil? I meant really evil

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Headmaster

Fatal mistake

You think that "free" means you did not pay for it. For that man, "free" has a very different definition.

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