* Posts by John F***ing Stepp

389 posts • joined 31 Aug 2007

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IKEA flat-packs TaskRabbit to crack assembly code

John F***ing Stepp

Damn

I was hoping for 80586. . .

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Docs ran a simulation of what would happen if really nasty malware hit a city's hospitals. RIP :(

John F***ing Stepp

This is really a worse situation

Than you could imagine.

Before IoT hospital care and the machines involved needed a common language, so one was devised (by commitee*) that allowed each machine to talk to another. This language is coded to the point that it would take a person at least a week to be able to read off the codes as if it were plain text.

At least one hospital (one that I know of) uses Perl script to do all of the tasks (nothing wrong with that, right?) because Perl is a get it done language.

All or most of the equipment suppliers are hard codeing in the common language into the various machines, really, I think that the only reason this disaster waiting to happen has not happened is that most hackers would not deam it much of a challenge.

* not naming common language, two letters and a number.

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Downloaded CCleaner lately? Oo, awks... it was stuffed with malware

John F***ing Stepp

Re: Hopefully el-reg readers are aware of...

This is kind of wierd; there are down votes on every post that disses ccleaner.

You cannot really marry software, but, I quess if you think you have it is nice to know that you are the faithful sort.

(in your heart you know that ccleaner still loves you and won't hit you again.)

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Whoosh, there it is: Toshiba bods say 14TB helium-filled disk is coming soon

John F***ing Stepp

And the Windows 20 build will only take half a disk!

Future proof!

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Thousands of hornets swarm over innocent fire service drone

John F***ing Stepp

Works most of the time

Thanks.

Knew something was a bit wrong there; this thing only has spell check when I don't need it.

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John F***ing Stepp

What I used to do

Take a bunch of freinds round to watch, shoot the nest with a slingshot, stand very still while wasps chase freinds.

Ran out of freinds; had to quit.

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User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

John F***ing Stepp

Re: You can't reliably clean malware

I had one once that had 679 actual examples of (il)legitiment malware; some requiring a trip into regedit to kill entirely. The user was some kind of savant about clicking on the wrong thing.

(But kept me in extra spending money for years, so there was that.)

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We all deserve a break. Pack your bags. Four Earth-like worlds found around nearby Tau Ceti

John F***ing Stepp

No, the cat is probably fine; humans, however, are likely to be considered an invasive species.

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Want to visit your loved one in jail? How about Skype instead?

John F***ing Stepp

At the moment

Under the private prison system, profit rules. So if it is cheaper to keep someone in a 5 by 5 box than a 10 by 10 box then the box gets smaller. Eventually, once AI becomes really good, the box will shrink to 2 by 2 by 6 and feeding costs will go way down.

So yeah, don't do the crime and probably don't make posts like this one.

Oops.

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Breathless F-35 pilots to get oxygen boost via algorithm tweak

John F***ing Stepp

Well actually.

I could be wrong but the problem as I remember it was a reduced partial pressure of CO; you would have plenty of oxigen but without the carbon dioxide in your lungs you just don't feel the need to take a breath.

Which would mean that in some situations pure oxigen would not help.

Perhaps a "breath stupid" light could be installed on the heads up display

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You wait ages for a sun, then two come along at once: All stars have twins, say astroboffins

John F***ing Stepp

Well,

No goatee?

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Discredit a journo? Easy, that'll be $55k. Fix an election? Oh, I can do that for just $400k

John F***ing Stepp

I just filter everything through what Abe Lincoln said about the internet. . .

Or maybe that was Washington, I will have to research this.

. . .

. . .

No, it was Lincoln's; the quote was "Go to the theatre".

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Live blog: Fired FBI boss spills the beans to US Senate committee

John F***ing Stepp

I've been wondering for some time . . .

If someone laid out a deck of cards, all of them the queen of spades, in front of the head Ompa Loopa; would it change anything? Probably not; that sort of thing only happens in books and movies.

(Stiill, the moscovien cantidate would make for a good title.)

No icon because I don't know whether I am making a joke or not.

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WannaLaugh? Funsters port WannaCrypt to Commodore, Cisco, Nintendo and Tesla

John F***ing Stepp

Now I'm

Kind of afraid to fire up my old Amiga. . .

(or the TI99-4a for that matter)

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Police anti-ransomware warning is hotlinked to 'ransomware.pdf'

John F***ing Stepp

Thinking this might be the way to go

pine

Configure notepad (or dos edit, linux nano) to open attachments.

Or tell your friends that all future comunications must be by medium as you are spending the next couple of years being legally dead (for tax purposes).

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Ransomware scum have already unleashed kill-switch-free WannaCry‬pt‪ variant

John F***ing Stepp

I would guess about now

Some one will be bragging about how fast Skynet will take this crap out as soon as we hit the big red switch. . .

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Opposable thumbs make tablets more useful says Microsoft Research

John F***ing Stepp

Next up

They find out that most people have noses.

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US copyright law shake-up: Days of flinging stuff on the web and waiting for a DMCA may be over

John F***ing Stepp

It was an Apple *

Point being, David was supposed to have been a mega genious who programmed in machine code and had access to a captured processor. There are only so many instructions availible on what we build and he only had to sabotage one interrupt; the one conrolling the shields.

Put that way, most of us could have done that but it would have taken a lot longer.

Since the script did not allow for a week of no sleep and ld50 levels of coffee, they wrote him in as super smart.

*windows, bsd and linux myself but apple has progrmmers too; comes to that the first time I messed with assembly it was on an apple ii, 6502.

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Stanford Uni's intro to CompSci course adopts JavaScript, bins Java

John F***ing Stepp

Advatage/disadvantge

Almost same syntax as C C++ but has way too much DWIM built in; I have seen far to many Javascript programs missing simicolons that still ran.

The language will turn your arrays into objects on a moments notice causeing hard to debug errors (at least at first) and has hard to find different gottchas from one browser to another. What it will teach very well is that life is unfair and that you need to take notes.

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NASA agent faces heat for 'degrading' moon rock sting during which grandmother wet herself

John F***ing Stepp

Moonstone Kops

All hanging off the side of a lunar rover and wagging what we can only hope are pool noodles.

(now I've that image in my head the rest of the night)

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Far out: Dark matter bridges millions of light-years long spotted between galaxies

John F***ing Stepp

Re: False false colours

One or two more frog pills should take care of it.

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Troll it your way: Burger King ad tries to hijack Google Home gadgets

John F***ing Stepp

I got so tired of this damned app

That I completly removed it after I got root access on this tablet.

(If I want something misspelled I can do that on my own)

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Is that a phone in your hand – or a gun? This neural network reckons it has it all figured out

John F***ing Stepp

I think I have a derringer; and if I had a horse, I would definatly buy it a pistol.

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You're Donald Trump's sysadmin. You've got data leaks coming out the *ss. What to do

John F***ing Stepp

Simple enough

Just make every bit of leakable news so damned nonsensable that any reasonable person would disbelive it.

(They might be doing this by accident)

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The Mail vs Wikipedia: They're more alike than they'd ever admit

John F***ing Stepp

I think they did this under the radar

Wikipedia is a synonym for "crowdsourced knowledge"

Actually, wiki-wiki translates as fast so-

Wikipedia translates as half-fast encyclopedia.

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Want to come to the US? Be prepared to hand over your passwords if you're on Trump's hit list

John F***ing Stepp

A natural progression

Extream 'bed' vetting.

Enhanced 'bed' vetting.

Digital 'bed' vetting.

Someone must have been 'abused' as a child.

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Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

John F***ing Stepp

The hard one

Is to do this kind of nonsense over the phone.

"My boss is watching"

Never mind him, just lay your hand on the top of the case and repeat after me; loudly.

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Smart guns are a neat idea on paper. They'll never survive reality

John F***ing Stepp

Oh crap moment

I just had a disturbing realization; this d**n thing teaches bad habits.

You are supposed to keep your finger off the trigger until ready to fire.

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John F***ing Stepp

Re: A really really smart gun

No, that is funny, and I would buy one. Have another upvote.

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You know what, maybe Tabby's star ate a planet, ponder space eggheads

John F***ing Stepp

Obvious

And the planet we shall name Mickey . . .

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Render crashing PCs back to their component silicon: They deserve it

John F***ing Stepp

You get that look. . .

Me

Tieing a hard drive to a tree and preparing to empty a 1911 at it.

My Wife

"What the hell?"

Me

"Help me find the shovel; still have to dig a shallow grave". . .

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Linus Torvalds in sweary rant about punctuation in kernel comments

John F***ing Stepp

Re: Punctilious

There was a comment in MS DOS (2 I think) that went along the lines of 'if I had wanted you to use the damned /

I would have told you'

Those were the days when you booted up the machine with a floppy that looked as if it had been used as a frisbe and hoped.

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John F***ing Stepp

Re: Well there is a point to this

Sometimes, it is nice to write the tightest, most obscure code possible. Knowing, as you do so, that you will not have the slightest idea what the hell it actually does within two weeks time.

A 'work of art' snippit that should have been done in ASM, or INTERCAL, and you think 'job security' of sorts.

And later, so much later, find this little code calttrop with the simple comment:

// don't change this part

And wonder, "What the hell was I thinking?"

We did this all the time at my last shop.

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EasyDoc malware adds Tor backdoor to Macs for botnet control

John F***ing Stepp
Trollface

Now if you just had a good Operating system

Like this 'sand-bagged' Android, why, you wouldn't have that problem.

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Australia's ABC suspends presenter over 'Wi-Fi is dangerous' claims

John F***ing Stepp

Don't think WIFI is as dangerous as

A cell phone; a Nokia up side the head could leave a mark.

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Destroying ransomware business models is not your job, so just pay up

John F***ing Stepp

Re: Price of an education...

Just wondering, are you trying for down votes?

Because that type of comment probably gets down voted by Apple users as well.

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Laser probers sniff more gravitational waves from mega black hole smash

John F***ing Stepp

Re: Why LIGO Is a Scam

No, going back over the relevent equation and subsituting a negative mass you do not get infinate velocity as a result.

In fact, at very high levels (infinate energy) you come up with the speed of light, as observed.

(or as close as makes no never mind)

Actually I should point out to you that simply parroting what some non traditional fringe sceince has to say without thinking hard . . . is a bit ironic.

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Smut shaming: Anonymous fights Islamic State... with porn

John F***ing Stepp

Too bad we

Couldn't just hire a knobbler to ...

No, they do knees, what kind of ASBO dose fingers?

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Earth's core is younger than its crust surface

John F***ing Stepp

Oh, well; down vote bait.

The exact center of the Earth would not be subject to a gravitational force (because the mass around that point would be balanced). Full force of gravity at the surface, less the deeper you go.

I am fairly certain that even Jules Verne knew this.

Sometimes things go wrong 'under pressure'.

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As US court bans smart meter blueprints from public, sysadmin tells of fight for security info

John F***ing Stepp

Re: Security by obscurity is working pretty well for Apple customers

Security by obscurity also has worked real well in banking, ah, hasn't it?

(nobody really care whether an Apple gets hacked, and LINUX is now becoming 'the computer for the rest of us'.

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Electric Babel Fish swims into crowdfunding

John F***ing Stepp

I have been looking for a good word by word translator. It is all well and good to translate 'I think my pig is whistling' (german) to 'I am confused' (english) but when that happens you don't learn the language.

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You can always rely on the Ancient Ones to cock things up

John F***ing Stepp

For the IT angle

Real world version of 'dead zombie children in the pipe'.

And, they are chanting; drains, drains. . .

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Learn a scripting language and play nicely: How to get a DevOps job

John F***ing Stepp

Re: There's a skills shortage

Sounds like server admin 101. Run tail -f on the server log so it actually appears you are doing something, screw with the log in script so the MFC encounters the random core dump (yeah, that's listed under RFC whatever, schedule us some over time and we will get it fixed)

And of course. . .

Keep the cattle prod charged.

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Stop resetting your passwords, says UK govt's spy network

John F***ing Stepp

When I was doing these things I would use a phrase of over 40 charactors, change that to '133t' speak, then reverse the whole thing.

Were I to run servers again I would now do something different.

(because that scheme is now public)

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Uninstall QuickTime for Windows: Apple will not patch its security bugs

John F***ing Stepp
Happy

Re: Slowtime

Some of the best sarcastic wit I have seen on your side of the atlantic pot hole and you call him a troll; the man plays the perfect dumbass better than Steve Colbert, have some respect.

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Anti-download biz sued for 'abusive' robo-call demands for money

John F***ing Stepp

Re: surprise

Yeah, you're right; a person like me, who carries a lot of guns would be inclined to sue their asses off.

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Microsoft: Just what the world needs – a $25 Nokia dumbphone

John F***ing Stepp

re real question

No, the real question in my mind is will it still crack walnuts.

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Speed of light slower than we thought? Probably not

John F***ing Stepp

Explanation by comic

Good ol' irregular web comic

James Clerk Maxwell developed four equations that derived the speed of light.

He had to find two constants (constants in a vacuum) to do this.

Good to resolve some arguments (speed of gravity being a compression wave does not care -pathetic fallacy be damned- about units of electric charge and permeability) and no other mediating particles travel at C so there.

Crap is all over empty space, random ions, solar winds, dead stars and wandering planets: the poor little photon never stands a chance.

As an aside the wiki page has a major (and very irritating) error on it

The same error that Microsoft's Encarta had

Any one else see it?

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'Hashtag' added to the OED – but # isn't a hash, pound, nor number sign

John F***ing Stepp

And what is wierd is

The first recorded name for "#" in an English publication out of a British writer (presumably) was an octocet.

So I kind of laughed when Bell Labs coined octothorpe thinking, well reading.

(which they didn't do.)

But they got away with it so I have taken to calling it a tic-tac-toe game for ants.

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Ex-Oracle manager claims he was fired for asking to give Indian staff equal pay

John F***ing Stepp

If no one else will ask then . . .

Whats a Grecian earn?

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