* Posts by MrMerrymaker

89 posts • joined 8 Aug 2018


Dixons Carphone smarting from £440m loss as it writes down goodwill on mobile biz


Re: Carphone warehouse used to be quite good.

Odd, I worked for them pre takeover and they sold all the call centre and IT jobs to IBM's India plan purely to save costs, and put my entire department in the dole queue.

Maybe you mean as a customer... Though I spoke to enough dodgy, lying branch managers I doubt that too!

The internet is going to hell and its creators want your help fixing it


Re: Dear fragile and wonderful academics...

Anarchy is not big companies stomping the little man because "no rules" . It is decentralised and highly localised rules, especially from government, especially hewing to the freedom of the individual, and most certainly above and beyond those accorded to companies, corps, etc.

Please don't call this anarchy. It's far worse than that - it is unbridled neoliberal capitalism

Register Lecture: Right to strike when your boss sells AI to the military?


Re: A conscience is a fine thing

I don't see why under any circumstances I should involve myself. I accept they might do it anyway, but why tarnish myself?

For fax sake: NHS to be banned from buying archaic copy-flingers


Re: Data breaches

Seems like you ended up auditing human error more than anything else.

It's a shame really. Not because I have some kind of mad hard on for the fax - no, because as ex NHS IT they gave me a fax machine for the purposes of accepting signed training forms for new users of the patient records system.

Every time I mooted some more up to date method of this, it was met with horror and ignorance and fear.

Still. I don't know if there was some more arcane NHS regulation about it. Capturing the user's signature was a very significant concept. Methinks a zero-fax overhaul would go way, way outside the mere realm of IT.

Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins


Re: Music



Re: Quake 2

Pfft, that was what, four years later? Wrong era! :)

... Man, things changed so quick in those days. I was a Quake 1er myself. Liked 2 just fine. Doom I got into after, but it's been enjoyed. Thank god I can appreciate things that aren't the newest shiny

Remember Misco? Staff win protective award at employment tribunal


Re: Taxpayer?

Will they be free to do the same thing again? Course they will - I worked briefly for a corrupt company that went bankrupt, and lo, I see their new company with the same business model has been set up in the past year, Companies House don't give a damn.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics


Re: At what point.....

Probably never.


Children of the Resolution

There was one user who requested a bigger monitor via the helldesk. We needed manager auth, and said manager presented the OK. At which point it comes to desktop support.

It was fulfilled basically, and this sorry agent here was the desktop munchkin who took it to her. Lo and behold, she takes a look at her new 19" monitor: it's too small.

I beg your what, ma'am?

It's too small!

Us gents never like hearing that from a female, especially one quite fetching, so I asked her to explain the how, why, while I prepared the usual embarrassed defence of 'I think you'll find it's bigger than average' and 'well, it's cold in the storeroom'

Turns out, groan... She couldn't see the text. It was too small and blurry. I whacked up the text size in Windows and she was happier and said she'd give it a whirl.

Ambled by a week or so later, and she had the resolution at a garish 800x600 or similar. I was having palpitations. I politely enquired wtf and, satisfied and smug, she explained:

I can see it properly now! The text isn't blurry anymore!... (she looks at me and whispers:) I didn't want to use my new glasses in the office....


Re: Alternatively...

'I couldn't decide whether to upvote this. While you're right that to understand some topics a prerequisite level of other knowledge is required...'

Hmm, I just took it as 'explaining is one thing, but understanding isn't guaranteed' rather than some slight about why, exactly, the understanding isn't taking place.

Coming to understand things is, I believe, an internal process, always down to oneself.

Yet you're... Kicking off, as if this is an elitist concept. Funny what we understand being different, isn't it :)

Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers


I'm sure in Blade Runner 2049, there's a huge IBM logo. A dystopia indeed!


Why the thumbs down? I'm with giffgaff!

But a look in their forums shows tons of people just screaming at them, who didn't even bother reading the news. Even the Grauniad mentioned it in enough depth to say it wasn't Giffgaff at fault


Appealed to a customer base of the lowest common denominator?


The wrong day

I picked the wrong day to quit heroin

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention


The best bacon is

Whatever I have when I wake up after a boozy night!

Worst is no bacon. Or gammon, I suppose.

Why millions of Brits' mobile phones were knackered on Thursday: An expired Ericsson software certificate


Upsides abound!

Had to get to a new site today and usually rely on Google maps or Moovit. (GPS works without a connection obviously but I did like the challenge)

I found it by myself!

And my phone was in my jacket all day. I've lost only a few percent.

It basically was a forced airplane mode. And best of all...



Re: Hey ...

Who cares then? You're not relevant!

Total Inability To Support User Phones: O2 fries, burning data for 32 million Brits


It's back for me but not for friends

Ah well. Hope I get a free day or something though can't complain for one day's outage when I use giffgaff for £7 every month without issue


Re: Oh, the fallability of the BBC!

Where I work there's no signal at the best of times but data, somehow, usually anyway works. So my relatives are on whatsapp.

You're doing the annoying old thing of assuming your situation is the only one that matters and all others are either the same or you simply don't care


Re: First Youtube was closing down, now the whole Internet has!

What a surprise, someone having a go at youth, using the alt right term Snowflake, doesn't have the sheer balls to post non-anon!

How the mighty have fallen: Anglian Water knocks Google off perch as UK's best workplace


Surprising placements

Microsoft #11? Maybe they could afford to get a bit more draconian judging from these Windows 10 builds..

Apple #43, chuckle.

No IBM? Colour me... Well, not blue!

Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service


"Make sure to get all the folds and creases out.

Of the shirts, Brenda."



I was wondering why you'd get a naked cleaner if you didn't have sexual ideas about em...

And remembered the classic Seinfeld ep where he starts sleeping with his cleaner, who stops doing a thorough job.

But then you have George getting the non-beautiful PA to thwart his male urges... Only to bone her, promising a raise!


Re: You're born that way, you die that way...

You sure you work in IT, what with this comfortable attitude to seeing randoms naked?


Re: Why is it sexist

No such thing. If a woman said it was sexist, I'm fine with that.

Of course, I'd like to see the evidence...

Apple co-founder and former CEO has the most expensive John Hancock on the planet


Re: I don't really agree with you...

'In the novel Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton, John Alfred Hammond was the arrogant, flamboyant and idealistic dreamer'...

'He had little interest in the technicalities of genetic engineering, but great interest in making a profit'

'His darker side is shown more often, as he is frequently upset with his employees'

All from...


Accenture in doghouse after NHSmail mass outage cuts off 1m+ UK health staff


Re: £1.50 per month

No, he's saying one person's lack of issues does not a whole picture paint.

Windows 10 or Cisco Advanced Malware Protection: Pick one


Re: Why?

The sceptic in me thinks they know about it and think more malware even in their name helps their business!

Marriott's Starwood hotels mega-hack: Half a BILLION guests' deets exposed over 4 years


Data Shmata

Not that I don't already do it to a large extent online, but I'm starting to wonder why I don't just get black market new identities, just so when they get inevitably compromised, it's less upsetting.

Still. Happily not a Marriott customer, ever. When I contracted for IBM they did pay for a hotel once - oh, wait, Travelodge were already hit this past summer!

Not a price cut! Apple perks up soggy iPhone demand with rebate boost


Re: Who needs analysts?

"Why? Because they believe that they are getting something better than a commodity item or "lesser" brands."

No, I disagree here: people like brands because of consistency. The same experience each time.

Which is why Apple are on a slippery slope: they're changing the consistency. Less decent hardware for more money.

It's like if New Coke cost more. Now, that's an extreme example.... But you don't see McDonald's messing with Big Macs and whacking the price up.

Huawei MateBook Pro X: PC makers look out, the phone guys are here


Re: I don't like the aspect ration

I take my chromecast to hotels, usually works in the hdmi port, and stream from my phone!

OnePlus 6T: Tasteful, powerful – and much cheaper than a flagship


No notification light either!

That was the dealbreaker for me. I don't have sound on and I don't have vibration on when I work

Scam or stunt? It's looking like the latter... Xiaomi so sorry for £1 smartphone 'promo'


Quite unsurprising

I'm not surprised by any of this. Neither the offer being fake, nor the sheer clamour to believe it.

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too


Re: Eh? Come again?

Technically that would be be one of the fields, and he would retain the fact he's a scientist when he investigates this field. Although if you were to argue even a faint interest in astrology strips you of all links to science, I'd find that harsh but fair :)

Smartphone industry is in 'recession'! Could it be possible we have *gasp* reached 'peak tech'?


Re: not unless they die.

'I'm slowly crawling up the learning curve, fathoming out how it works, so I might then disable everything I have no need of.'

Good luck with that on an iPhone!

With the 6T, OnePlus hopes to shed 'cheeky upstart' tag and launch assault on flagships


No notification light either!

Christ, the Notch has a lot to answer for


Re: Has Notch => No

A couple years ago I really thought the Xiaomi Mi Mix 2 - the no bezel, no notch phone - was the future in terms of screen design, and everyone would be copying it.

At this point it still looks futuristic. The notch looks like a horrible compromise.

Indeed, as you say, "plenty of design options that don't involve screwing over the screen layout" is a problem I thought solved, and I cynically expect in a few years Apple will do "notchless" and say it's a world's first.

Loaday crap, the lack of innovation...


Re: No thanks

I'm still over the moon with my Oneplus 5, which still gives me 2 days of battery life.

I fail to see how this model, two models on in fact, is an upgrade.

Screen is bigger, but I hate notches

I'd be losing a headphone socket

What I've moaned about I simply see as the industry standard now. Like you say, last year's Samsungs have it all, and the price has come down to boot. It's really hard to see who Oneplus are targeting now.

Because if it's loyal fanboys, I got the Oneplus 1, then the 2, then the 5, and have no desire to sidegrade.

I suspect my trusty 5 will keep me happy for another year or so, but unless the Oneplus 7(!) does an about-turn I'll be voting with my wallet.


No thanks

No headphone jack, but also no water proofing?

No sd card still?

No wireless charging?

And it isn't as cheap as some xiami ones?

No ta.

Samsung Galaxy Note 9: A steep price to pay


Re: Biased

You're wrong, shut up, Fanboy

All through the house, not a creature was stirring... especially Samsung smartwatches: Batteries empty at 3AM



The face in the background of that pic is terrifying..

Facebook names former Lib Dem leader Nick Clegg head of global affairs


How surprising!

And here's me thinking he had a reputation for enabling evil!

Silent running: Computer sounds are so '90s


Re: This assumes people

The Oneplus line has a lovely three-position switch on the side: do not disturb (nothing happens), vibrate, and then ring ring!

I wish more phone companies would rip that off. But no, they had to rip off the notch...


Re: Ringtones are cringworthy

"but the idea that it's been rendered utterly obsolete by a crappy vibrator with an LED taped to it is just plain silly."

Indeed, but you invented that a strawman. I simply questioned why its so popular - not why it happens at all. I work on a desk and my phone screen lights up when a call comes in. Sorted.

Yet you seem to want to tear down the distorted absolute that I said 'Nobody should use Ringtones'.

Nope. Plenty do. Maybe even a majority. But not all.


Re: Ringtones are cringworthy

Actually, the android / Google Find my Phone feature will ignore any silent settings. So you can happily keep it on ignore and find your phone aurally :)


Ringtones are cringworthy

In this age of notification lights and custom vibration, I don't get why ringtones are STILL popular

In a professional context, I did understand why the deskside support guy in the NHS needed an audible ringtone. This would be about six years ago.

However, I found it utterly cringeworthy that he had the theme from The IT Crowd as his ringtone.

No, he wasn't being ironic.... Although choosing that ironically might actually have been worse!

London flatmate (Julian Assange) sues landlord (government of Ecuador) in human rights spat


So he DOES respect the law!

Oh, he's suing!

And here's me thinking fleeing bail, and hiding out in an embassy to escape the law, meant he didn't respect it.

... What do you mean, 'he's making a mockery of the law by suing his hosts'?

Ah well. As long as he's required to attend court in person to give evidence.

Once more with feeling: Windows 10 October 2018 Update inches closer to relaunch


Re: A powerful sense of dread

[quote]"They" are people who (in a forum which has nothing whatsoever to do with Linux), [/quote]

Ah but I was explaining how Windows 10 pushed me away. How the insider builds create dread, how when the time came to choose an operating system, the unreliability of it, based on my prior experience, led me to turn away from Windows 10, and not miss anything.

Indeed, it would be remiss to not mention what I replaced it with. I could have replaced it with a heroin addiction, but the post would still scorn Windows 10.

Yet I used the dreaded L word... From my point of view I was merely telling the truth. If my tale was 'I decided not to use Windows 10 and used an alternative OS I am happy with', it would beg the reveal anyway.


Re: For shame!

I do the responsible adult thing and, in time honoured yet slightly updated tradition, pop into the woods at night and leave android tablets streaming porn strewn about for the younger, tech-savvy generation.


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