* Posts by 89724102172714182892114I7551670349743096734346773478647892349863592355648544996312855148587659264921

201 posts • joined 17 Jul 2018

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Ecuador says 'yes' to Assange 'freedom' deal, but Julian says 'nyet'

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He could exit with a thousand Assange impersonators, odds are good he'd make it to a fast boat to Tonga

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US Homeland Security installs AI cameras at the White House, Google tries to make translation less sexist

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Big, round and orange... it's a pumpkin

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And the next 7nm laptop processor will be designed by In, er, AM, um, Qualcomm: The 64-bit Arm Snapdragon 8CX

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"The machines seemed to be as responsive as you'd expect an eight-core 2GHz+ Windows 10 PC to be."

... was it very or as responsive as Paul Allen? Fluffy (the sentence, not Paul Allen, though he may be currently, with fungus etc.).

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He, He, more gassy whoppers: Toshiba spreads 12TB, 14TB drives across gaming and NAS disks

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Helium leaks will cause cloud servers to lose altitude

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Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

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If the naked gardener has an accident with shears, tell him to keep the tip

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FYI: NASA has sent a snatch-and-grab spacecraft to an asteroid to seize some rock and send it back to Earth

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Re: Not actually immortals

Immortal skin is almost here, maybe the rest will follow:

https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2015/01/telomere-extension-turns-back-aging-clock-in-cultured-cells.html

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Looking forward to the Great Andromeda Strain Outbreak in 2023 then...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Andromeda_Strain_(film)

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Surface Book 2 afflicted by mystery Blue Screen Of Death errors

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Core Incompetence Inside

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Thought black holes were donut-shaped? It turns out they're more like deadly fountains

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Fountains gushing out of black holes is worrying, but an Interstellar remake would be deadly

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NHS supplier that holds 40 million UK patient records: AWS is our new cloud-based platform

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Re: Bullshit Alert

...not if my experience of NHS "systems" is anything to go by, they couldn't even secure MSAccess.

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Forget DeepFakes. This robo-Rembrandt with AI for brains is not bad at knocking off paintings

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3D printers with large colour palettes would make a better job of forgery, by reproducing the surface topography of oil paintings. Scanning such fine 3D surface detail to any degree of accuracy would be a challenge, however.

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What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

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Fat women always look guilty of something.

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See this, Google? Microsoft happy to take a half-billion in sweet, sweet US military money to 'increase lethality'

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Mushroom

Weapon of Mass Deletion

Microsoft could crash selected country's economies by wiping all Windows 10 installations - give me a heads up when you do this Satya Nadella? I could make a fortune.

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Huawei MateBook Pro X: PC makers look out, the phone guys are here

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WTF?

If it doesn't have a removable battery, I'm not interested.

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Oh my chord! Sennheiser hits bum note with major HTTPS certificate cock-up

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They made a pig's ear of that

Other than amazing sound quality, the best thing about (some) Sennheisers is that you can replace any part when it fails. After years of having to throw away great headphones from other manufacturers because of a mysteriously located cable break, or sonically obliterated driver, broken headband, lost and inexplicable tiny plastic part etc... I got some HD600s and haven't looked back.

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Great Scott! Is nothing sacred? US movie-goers vote Back To The Future as most-wanted reboot

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...infecting the originals with Deepfakes would be a far lesser evil

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NASA's Mars probe InSight really has Mars in sight: It beams back first pic after touchdown

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InSight can drill 16ft! I do hope they drill into a mercury tooth filling, thus confirming humanity's Martian origins:

https://mars.nasa.gov/insight/spacecraft/instruments/hp3/

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Big data at sea: How the Royal Navy charts the world's oceans

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These days, warships are for show because there is currently no defence against Russian hypersonic missiles

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I'll be impressed when the resolution is high enough to resolve cans of coke and beer on the seabed and plastic bobbing on the surface because Trash>Global Climate Chaos (till it finds a higher state of order which will be less human friendly) is more of a threat to life on earth than any military (Mutually Assured Destruction will never happen).

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Well that's just spliffing: UK Amazon merchants peddling Mary Jane

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"I was gonna go out to vote, but then I got high"

...pacification and paranoid befuddlement of the masses is the real reason why it's being legalised

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Holograms to Match of the Day: Huawei shindig shows 5G is still playing all things to all people

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Other than in the title, there is no mention of "Holograms"

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Flea market Xiaomi makes mad dash for growth

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Re: Yeah but...

With regret, I admit Xiaomi The Money! timing for offering lower price "flagship" imposter phones is good - Android phones are at the arse end of their product life cycle... unless phone designs supply more of what buyers want - whatever that is... or what the big phone manufacturers make them want ("People don't know what they want till they see it" - Steve The Christ) by developing new flip/fold/larger/smaller etc devices, it'll be a battle for the Android sphincter. To extend the product life cycle, Android OS needs to evolve to offer a more effective, desktop-like experience utilising larger screens than it does now. I hope they tank but it's unlikely, Xiaomi The Money! will drive Android phone prices down and probably kill Jesusphone sales.

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Xiaomi The Money!

...they completely took the piss by offering a total of "1 or 2" phones for £1 in dodgy nationwide competitions where it was impossible for anyone to win, except "Xiaomi The Money" staff

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/11/13/xiaomi_sales_screwup

I hope they sink without a trace

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Technical foul: Amazon suffers data snafu days before Black Friday, emails world+dog

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Last week, I started receiving emails at my Amazon registered email address from gg.com asking if I wanted to write reviews on Amazon in return for free stuff. Maybe this breach is bigger than they claim...

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Let's have a look-see, Pure. Sales, up. Staff, growing. Forecasts, beat. Projections, rising. Profit... oh look at the time, gotta run, cya...

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I could do with one of these for automatic FOREX trading, every picosecond counts

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A 5G day may come when the courage of cable and DSL fails ... but it is not this day

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I use a SIM router when Virgin Media Fibre craps out and I must say it's nippy even on 4G, reliable too. Also very cheap at £10 a month for "Unlimited" - 6gb full speed (network sharing allowed), the rest at 256k (no network sharing, which is when the SIM goes into the laptop), which is fine for email and general browsing - from Giffgaff (O2 will pull the plug on their Giffgaff brand if it threatens their offerings too much)

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Did you hear? There's a critical security hole that lets web pages hijack computers. Of course it's Adobe Flash's fault

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"The notoriously vulnerable plugin has long since been surpassed by HTML5"

There's still a lot that Adobe Flash can do which HTML 5 can't, and with less CPU. I just wish Adobe would reprogram Flash from scratch, because any UI design that anyone can dream is/was possible using Flash.

Maybe this one will break the downvote record... Is there a prize?

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Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship

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"Starship"

It's going to Mars, not Eroticon

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Germany pushes router security rules, OpenWRT and CCC push back

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Re: Giving the vendors a choice will give the users a choice

>If you really want control of your router then buy a Mikrotik and learn how to configure it.

Reely? Mikrotik?

https://www.zdnet.com/article/thousands-of-mikrotik-routers-are-snooping-on-user-traffic

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RIP Bill Godbout: Cali wildfire claims the life of master maverick of microcomputers

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Re: It is better to keep your mouth closed ...

...doesn't make it any less true

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Wildfires killing scores of wealthy people is going to be much more of a political headache than hovels in The Bronx

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We asked the US military for its 'do not buy' list of Russian, Chinese gear. Surprise: It doesn't exist

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Xiaomi

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OnePlus 6T: Tasteful, powerful – and much cheaper than a flagship

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Thumb Up

I like the Dutch Angle

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EE, Virgin Media hit with £13.3m fine: Squeezing users for fees for early contract termination not OK

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I haven't requested any change from Virgin Media for years and I only use their slowest fibre broadband. They keep upgrading my broadband speed (with a price hike shortly afterwards) every few months.... automatically starting a new 12 month contract, therefore I'm perpetually subject to an early exit fee. Bastards.

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Visual Studio 2017 15.9 is here! Fire up your Windows on Arm laptops. All four of you

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Looks like "four" was rather an overestimate

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Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location

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worrying, the prospect of malignant cancer at the site of the implant

...upside is buying chemo contactless at Boots will be easier

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iPhone XS: Just another £300 for a better cam- Wait, come back!

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Mix your own! The future is a plethora of Raspberry PiPhone kits

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Scam or stunt? It's looking like the latter... Xiaomi so sorry for £1 smartphone 'promo'

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Re: Suckers suckered

I won a MiFi router from Three, if it doesn't cost any money or take any time, it's always worth a go.

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I withdrew my sad little post about how I clicked the "Buy Now" button and nothing happened. It was too sad to bear because Xiaomi phones are soooo good! So pretty and shiny. I wish I had one. Two even, but no... I'm stuck with phones made by a different bunch of scamming assholes.

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OK Google, why was your web traffic hijacked and routed through China, Russia today?

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Russia has figured out the pattern in large Prime Numbers:

https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/pa8dw8/prime-number-pattern-mimics-crystal-patterns

...and they have all your passwords is belong to us now.

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Huawei Mate 20 Pro: If you can stomach the nagware and price, it may be Droid of the Year

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Looks like the reviewer threw up into a sandwich. Was it any better the second time?

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Open the pod bay doors: Voice of HAL 9000 Douglas Rain dies at 90

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His voice was very similar to that of Donald Pleasence in Fantastic Voyage, made a couple of years before, but he was too expensive.

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Xiaomi anarchy in the UK: Chinese tat-flinger wants to slip its cheapo flagships in Brit pockets

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It's pronounced "SUE ME"

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Windows 10 Pro goes Home as Microsoft fires up downgrade server

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Wow. I'm so glad I stuck with XP.

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Planet Computers straps proper phone to its next Psion scion, Cosmo

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Does this have a keypad on the front? It should.

I miss my 9210i, despite feeling like a badly designed and largely ineffectual baton to fend off muggers with, it was a bloody useful all in one portable office at a time when nothing else came close in terms of size... maybe the success of this will prompt Nokia to create a new Communicator.

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Tax me if you can: VMware UK tosses shrunken offering to HMRC

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I know of people who have been woken up in the middle of the night by HMRC agents, who proceeded to rip up floorboards, rifle through belongings and the loft looking for cash. They had to pay a huge monthly tax estimation for years, on pain of jail. White Van Man gets hammered while big biz operate with almost total impunity, it's a world gone mad!

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