* Posts by Ozumo

43 posts • joined 13 Jul 2018

Queen Elizabeth has a soggy bottom: No, the £3.1bn aircraft carrier, what the hell did you think we meant?


I only understand areas when presented in tennis court multiples.

And what happened to the London Bus as the SI unit of mass?

Could an AI android live forever? What, like your other IT devices?


Re: Regenerating tissue etc

If its tool kit was by Snap-on, immortality would be blighted by the continuing credit payments.

You're not Boeing to believe this, but... Another deadly 737 Max control bug found


Re: Real solution...

So they let Ray Charles overrule Ray Craig?


It's not just the training; currently all 737 pilots are fungible; to have multiple type ratings would cause headaches in pilot scheduling - for example at Southwestern, which has an all-737 fleet.


Not so much management approving a testing budget as the FAA actually insisting on some testing and not taking Boeing's word for it. Regulatory capture...

The Eldritch Horror of Date Formatting is visited upon Tesco


Re: best way so far?

Surely "fairly unambiguous" = "ambiguous"?

Remember that crypto-exchange boss who mysteriously died after his customers' coins disappeared? Of course he totally stole them


Baron Vladimir says

"You've seen the bodies?"

DXC: We've told UK government that up to 2,150 heads could roll in latest job cuts


Re: Let me go!

Bismillah, no we will not let you go

A day in the life of London seen through spam and weak Wi-Fi


Re: Nope, that's a pancreas.


Gather round, friends. Listen close. It's time to list the five biggest lies about 5G


Re: Chinese law

"It's more likely that they'd swap the UK PM for an identical lookalike without anyone noticing. That'd be much easier to do, and far more effective."

This may already have happened, of course.

Buffer overflow flaw in British Airways in-flight entertainment systems will affect other airlines, but why try it in the air?


Re: Unwise

Mark for "Enhanced Security Checks" in perpetuity.

Dear Britain's mast-fearing Nimbys: Do you want your phone to work or not?


Re: re: 2fa via sms

Top Of The Pops is still a thing?

Unless you want your wine bar to look like a brothel, purple curtains are a no-no apparently


No way is Cornwall Live a news site.

UK transport's 'ludicrous' robocar code may 'put lives at risk'


Tesla: "Insanity Mode"

Audi: "Entitled Middle-manager In A Hurry Mode"


Re: Insured by Google.

For "socks" read "underwear".


Re: Missing the obvious

It's going to be great in 20 years - fusion power* and autonomous vehicles due to arrive almost simultaneously!

*Fusion power - 20 years away since 1950.

Sprint subscribers: What do your updated iPhone and Tonga have in common? Both are cut off from the world


Re: Break?

Anchor will do it. Happened to Isles of Scilly electrical supply in 2017.

Dear humans, We thought it was time we looked through YOUR source code. We found a mystery ancestor. Signed, the computers


Re: Many mysteries

You missed a bit. The "old" definition of species was used to describe the situation where two individuals could breed together and produce offspring which are themselves fertile. Hence why horses and donkeys are not considered conspecific. It all falls down of course when you learn that a very few female mules can be fertile, when mated to a purebred horse or donkey.

The situation in the avian world is much more complex and controversial.

Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours... Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem...


Car manufacturer websites are the biggest offenders as far as I can see. I can only think their sites are so complex and slow in order to persuade you to go to the dealer (and dissuade you from making comparisons with competitors).

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate


Re: A lot of snobs in here today.

Ever hear of Jack Brabham?

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow


Re: Along the same vein ...

Hope you submitted an invoice for answering the call!

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner


Re: battered?


My gran used to start boiling the Christmas sprouts when the clocks went back...

Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers


Re: Incompetance

Is this irony?



OK, I am Sirius. And don't call me Shirley.


Re: Acronyms

Most Valuable Player


Re: Bad news. The fog's getting thicker.

Or ovloV

European fibre lobby calls for end to fake fibre broadband ads


Inadequate compensation for having to live there, IMHO.

Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert


Re: Spoilers in Tech Docs!

I text to say I've arrived as I don't like to trigger my millennial friends.

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab


Re: Darned tech!

That worked because as the aircraft lost height it entered denser air, increasing the chance of a successful relight.

Flea market Xiaomi makes mad dash for growth


Re: Yeah but...

LARGER screens? "It's a pocket model. You have to wear the special trousers, though."

Upset fat iOS gobbles up so much storage? Too bad, so sad, says judge: Apple lawsuit axed


Re: Crappy SD != internal flash

Downvote for "architected".

Congrats to Debbie Crosbie: New CEO at IT meltdown bank TSB has unenviable task ahead


Re: In it for the money

There's a paradox here - how can we expect an executive to stay on to sort out a problem if we also expect him to fall on his sword as soon as the problem occurs?


Re: In it for the money

There's a paradox here - how do you stay to sort out problems if you're expected to fall on your sword when the problem occurs? Our knee-jerk blame cukture has to bear some blame too.

Brits shun country life over phone not-spot fears


We have a Wicker Man ready for that sort...

If at first or second you don't succeed, you may be Microsoft: Hold off installing re-released Windows Oct Update


Re: Vista anyone? Anyone?

Surely Chiyomaru is "Butterball".

And Tochinoshin is getting careless. Not getting the left outer early enough.

Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location


Does anyone remember Red Dwarf?

(Lister, brandishing severed hand)

"I can do better than that, Kryten - I can give you fifteen"

Americans' broadband access is so screwed up that the answer may lie in tiny space satellites


Risk of colliding with a space shuttle?

Are these things going to be flying through the Smithsonian?

Salesforce dogged by protests, leaked emails, and guerrilla blimps on first day of Dreamforce


Re: El Reg now politically biased....you're outta here!

Don't see your problem, that is what the Agency is best known for, currently. Of course it used to be "best known" for unconscionable delays causing air passengers transiting the US to miss connecting flights. Halcyon days.

HP Ink should cough up $1.5m for bricking printers using unofficial cartridges – lawsuit


Re: though i never use refills myself

Isn't that also the Apple theory of ownership?

Connected car data handover headache: There's no quick fix... and it's NOT just Land Rovers


Re: DVLA and OverAirUpdates

And who pays for this?


Re: Those "use restrictions" are often there ...

Surely using it in the wrong manor will result in a visit from some geezahs wiv shootahs?


Re: This needs some input from the DVLR

Driver verification needs your licence number, postcode and NI number. Shouldn't take someone with two decades of IT experience an hour to come up with that...

No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?


What are French citizens getting so upset about? Well, they believe Linky is prying into their daily habits ... (to) sell the data to corporations who will target them with adverts for ... soap.



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