* Posts by Multivac

67 posts • joined 15 May 2018

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Need continuous Kubernetes satisfaction? CloudBees has just the thing

Multivac

Jenkins, seriously, of all the CI/CD tools out there it's probably the worst.

Memo to Microsoft: Windows 10 is broken, and the fixes can't wait

Multivac

Re: Windows 10 is broken

Why would they, they have your money and they know you'll be installing Windows 11 as soon as it's out, they've been doing the exact same thing since Windows 98 and why change a massively successful business model?

Multivac

Am I missing something here?

History of Windows:

Windows 95 - This is cool, excited about Windows 98.

Windows 98 - This is rubbish, can't wait for Windows 2000.

Windows 2000 - This is really rubbish, so looking forward to Windows ME replacing this junk.

Windows ME - OMG this is rubbish, please please please release Windows XP.

Windows XP - This almost works, we may be heading in the right direction at last.

Windows Vista - We'll just stick with XP until Windows 7 comes out..

Windows 7 - Well it's better then Vista?

Windows 8 - This is so bad we're going to need an 8.1 before we even consider looking forward to Windows 9.

Windows 8.1 - It'll work as a sticking plaster until Windows 9 comes out.

Windows 9 - hello, hello, is anyone there?

Windows 10 - Where'd my Windows 8.1 go, and why did everything stop working after the update?

And at no point did anyone think, is there an alternative to Windows that just works?

Pull request accepted: You want to buy GitHub, Microsoft? Go for it – EU

Multivac

Presumably there is going to be a git agent shipped on all future versions of Windows that works with Github but oddly won't work with Gitlab?

Morrisons supermarket: We're taking payroll leak liability fight to UK Supreme Court

Multivac

Hey....

..... could someone please tell the dude in the picture for this article that if they pop a bit of tape over their web cam they could probably take that balaclava off.

Russian rocket goes BOOM again – this time with a crew on it

Multivac

"With NASA highly unlikely to allow any astronauts to fly aboard the Soyuz until a full investigation is complete" Read that very carefully, it says nothing about Roscomos not flying cosmonauts up to the ISS!

and as yet we've not heard is ESA will stop their astronauts flying.

Day two – and Windows 10 October 2018 Update trips over Intel audio

Multivac

Oh FFS.....

Work laptop updated the other day, wireless keep dropping out, fan is thrashing like a hair dryer.

UK-based Veritas appliance support is being killed off

Multivac

Re: O.M.G

You reminded me of the time I was on a conference call with a Scottish sales rep from IBM and my Indian boss (who had lived in the US for many years). My boss could not understand a word the IBM guy said so I had to mute my phone and type what he was saying into skype so my boss could have the conversation.

Multivac

Re: FTFY

If they are hoping to use US-based support techs on Visa's they may be in for a shock, I work for a US company and we're providing desks for a load of Indian support techs have been exiled here with expired H-1B's.

Everyone screams patch ASAP – but it takes most organizations a month to update their networks

Multivac

Try patching an Exadata once a month LOL

It takes almost a month to get an Oracle Exadata back up and running after Oracle themselves patch it, if we patched it every month we'd never get to use it!

Gartner's Great Vanishing: Some of 2017's emerging techs just disappeared

Multivac

Gartner buzz word bingo

The only way to get through your CIO's quarterly lecture!

London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

Multivac

They didn't need it, everyone has a smart phone right? Just go to https://www.gatwickairport.com/flights/?type=departures .

If everyone is carrying their own screens around then you you have an airport full of redundancy, different phones, different OS's using different network providers.

Python wriggles onward without its head

Multivac

Re: Now seems like the perfect time...

I'd wait for 4!

2FA? We've heard of it: White hats weirded out by lack of account security in enterprise

Multivac

Re: 2FA? 2 sweet FA!

It kinda renders us 0fa which was my point.

Multivac

2FA? 2 sweet FA!

My company rolled out 2FA, now when you log in it sends a text message with a code you have to enter.

But it sends you the message to the mobile phone you're using to login.

The very same mobile that has your password cached on it.

And the very same phone that if you hold it up to the light you can see the the X or Z shape that people use to unlock their phones.

So 2FA is actually less secure than simply disabling password caching, you get the phone, you get the access.

Windows 10 Insiders see double as new builds hit the deck – with promises to end Update Rage

Multivac

Re: Predictive Fuckups

Wow, there was me thinking I'd been clever by putting "sudo apt-get update" in cron!

I predict a riot: Amazon UK chief foresees 'civil unrest' for no-deal Brexit

Multivac

I'm up for a bit of civil unrest

If I lose my job as a result of brexit then I'll be right round my retired parents house with their now homeless grand children demanding my old room back on the grounds that they voted for this situation, that, I can promise you, is not going to end well!

Engineers, coders – it's down to you to prevent AI being weaponised

Multivac

...... and physicists

It's down to you to stop atoms being weaponized and chemists you do the same for chemicals!

'WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON?' Linus Torvalds explodes at Intel spinning Spectre fix as a security feature

Multivac

Re: The bug is better than the buggy fix !!!

"Until Intel get their act together and release stable fixes" yeah I was in the same place in 2003, then I moved to Linux, glad to hear the last 15 years haven't been wasted hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Azure certifications are awful, Microsoft admits, so it has made new ones

Multivac

I have this horrible trick in interviews where I ask people who claim to be AWS or Azure certified some of the questions from the certification exam, its a quick way to figure out who paid a ringer to go and sit the exam for them.

Capita strikes again: Bug in UK-wide school info management system risks huge data breach

Multivac

Crapita

Bunch of badly treated employees working for a company they despise managed my career managers who have no idea and directors who cream of any cash they can. And people wonder how this could affect the quality of their work!

Oracle cuts ribbon on distributed ledger service

Multivac

Look, look, I'm punching myself in the face!

Blockchain makes perfect sense in an organisation that has loads of distributed IT hardware all on an internal network. But when it's implemented by a company that can't even produce a firmware patch that won't take down your entire business you'd have to be some serious kind of masochist!

Trump wants to work with Russia on infosec. Security experts: lol no

Multivac

Kaspersky

I really don't need to say any more than that do I!

For €10k, Fujitsu will tell you if your blockchain project is a load of bull

Multivac

Does your blockchain project have a token/coin?

1. Yes - it's probably bull.

2. No - it'll probably work.

Oracle wants to improve Linux load balancing and failover

Multivac

Stop fiddling with other peoples stuff

There are many different scenarios that may cause you to have to fail over, this addresses just one of those scenarios. If Oracle could maybe put a little more effort into updating their applications to be more HA then we’d likely get a heck of a lot more of those scenarios covered.

GitHub given Windows 9x's awesome and so very modern look

Multivac

Wow.....

..... Github, is that still going?

Open plan offices flop – you talk less, IM more, if forced to flee a cubicle

Multivac

I have literally sat under my desk on a telephone call because the team that sit next to me were making so much noise, think they were getting excited over the previous nights Great British Bake off or something. One of my employers office buildings is also 100% hot desk with unbookable meeting rooms, the marketing types love it but it's really depressing watching all the technical people walking round with arm fulls of books looking for a quiet corner every morning. I tend to work from home 2 days a week now just so I can get a solid 2*8 hours of work in every week.

Dear Samsung mobe owners: It may leak your private pics to randoms

Multivac

I didn't send you that cock pic, honest, it was my phone!

This is a very elaborate setup to get someone high up in Samsung off the hook for sending a cock picture to one of their colleagues.

The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

Multivac

Re: Charge by wire

Need a Seiko wank wind mechanism.

While you were basking in the sun, the relentless march of the Windows-maker continued

Multivac

Re: bugger the mouse

Am I the only one who found it weirdly satisfying scraping the build up of compacted fluff of the rollers?

Google Cloud CEO admits: Yeah, we wanted GitHub too. Whatevs

Multivac

Microsoft buy GitHub and everyone moves to GitLab.

Google or Amazon will buy GitLab or make a hostile takeover of GitLab in 2020 when it's IPO is targeted.

I will create GitVac ready for 2020 and then sell it to whichever of Google or AWS lost out on the GitLab takeover while having MultiGit ready as a startup for all the non commercial developers looking for a home.

Then my friends, all you code are belong to me mwahahaha!

New Python update slithers into release

Multivac

Re: A truly epic xkcd...

There's an updated one where all the arrows point to the word Go.

USB-C for Surface owners arrives in form of a massive dongle

Multivac

All the disadvantages of a tablet coupled with all the disadvantages of a laptop, without a keyboard, then go and install Skype LOL!

GitLab's move off Azure to Google cloud totally unrelated to Microsoft's GitHub acquisition. Yep

Multivac

Re: Next Month's Le Reg Story

Gitlab have been very public about their intended IPO on the 18th of November 2020, it's on their website https://about.gitlab.com/strategy/#sequence- .

Now Microsoft ports Windows 10, Linux to homegrown CPU design

Multivac

They have been the world leaders in quantum computers for years, even as far back as Windows 2000 the OS was both working and not working simultaneously.

CIOs planning to snub Oracle for other cloudy vendors – analyst

Multivac

Correction:

CIO's want more dinners at fancy restaurants, tickets to shows and corporate golf tournaments before they'll consider Oracle cloud.

Because we all know how this works, when the CIO's agree with the technical people they employ you know some dodgy shizzle's going down.

Aussie bloke wins right to sue Google over 'underworld' images

Multivac

Maybe I'll sue too

Google keeps associating me with some account on pornhub..... oh, hang on..... forget that.....

Tesla undecimates its workforce but Elon insists everything's absolutely fine

Multivac

Pretty standard for a US company

We have a forced ranking system, top 10% get a pay rise, middle 80% get a token pay rise, bottom 10% get put on a performance plan and get the boot 12 months later or as soon as the company feel they can do it without getting sued. You should see out management structure though, it's a thing of beauty, it must have been based on the design for the Eiffel tower it even has a dotted line lattice work!

Multivac

Re: sustainable, clean energy

It does until it goes wrong and you send a massive radioactive cloud over half the planet, what would really be useful is if you could build a massive nuclear reactor somewhere far away, maybe 150 million km away or there abouts, then use some sort or receiver on earth to collect that energy.

Microsoft reveals which Windows bugs it might decide not to fix

Multivac

Would it be at all possible to ........

.....fix that bug where when you try and use it to open a web browser or open a word document or something and it seems to be very very busy doing something clearly very very important while completely ignoring any of those things I'm trying to do.

Low AI rollout caused by dumb, fashion-victim management – Gartner

Multivac

Re: Over-hyped, over-paid and over here

I've often wondered why people like Tesla don't supply a range extender, a battery that'll fit on the car like a roof box, could easily gain a couple of hundred miles there, and if you could swap an empty one for a charged one at a service station that would be better, and have the whole thing covered by some sort of subscription/rental service.

Imagine if all the cars negotiated with each other and synced up their entry and exit to junctions and roundabouts. I only ride a motorbike because of two points on my journey to work where traffic flows cross paths and massive queues form, if the whole thing was automated and orchestrated by a computer it would be free flowing all the way.

So net neutrality has officially expired. Now what do we do?

Multivac

Re: Competition

You'd think that but you're thinking the average consumer is as intelligent as you, they're not.

Let's imagine the Daily Mail's parent company DMG bought a cable company and delivered cable for, say, 10% less than everyone else.

Obviously they're going to make the Daily Mail free to all those users and allow them to stream ITV for free so they'll easily recover that discount via advertising.

Non right wing media websites like the Independent would count to your usage and probably be throttled.

Huffington post would be all but blocked, far to lefty for DMG to allow it on their network as would the BBC.

So now you've got a significant portion of the population getting right wing propaganda pipped onto their devices for free, anything that doesn't agree with the media companies agenda costs you money or is too slow to be useable, these people don't really get that there is a bias, they don't know what VPN even stands for, they can play Fortnite anywhere in the country for free though so that's great.

You've got the basis for a good George Orwell novel right there!

Which? calls for compensation for users hit by Windows 10 woes

Multivac

404?

I did wonder if the Which? website might be experiencing a few technical issues today, they are running on AWS though, I presume they checked that before releasing that statement.

Apple: No currency mining for you in our App Store thank you

Multivac

If you wrote a really popular app, something that the average parent gave to their kids to keep them occupied on a car journey (and then inadvertently got addicted to themselves as keeps happening to my wife), then you slip in some code that uses say 10% of the phones CPU for mining while the app is running, and that's scaled across thousands of users, you can make a bit of token.

I'd expect that's really what this is aimed at.

First A380 flown in anger to be broken up for parts

Multivac

Re: This underlines one more thing

United used to fly out of Birmingham, 50 minute drive from home, park up next to the airport and walk into the terminal, it saved about 2 hours on the journey compared to Heathrow. But United cancelled the service because of a lack of customers, I guess people were looking for connecting flights into Europe which Birmingham didn't have or they genuinely wanted a stop over in London. It sucks for the rest of us but that's the way it is.

Worst. Birthday. Ever. IPv6's party falls flat

Multivac

Re: Lack of commitment

The fear mongers were COBAL and Fortran programmers, and most of them had to be brought out of retirement to fix the code, it's safe to say they are all dead now.

Multivac

Lack of commitment

IPv6 has bumped along for years with nothing really happening, it's been around that long I remember having to learn it for my Solaris networking exams!

Tell the world that on the 1st of January 2020 IPv4 will stop working.

Then sit back and watch as everyone panics and sorts their s**t out just like they did for Y2K.

And on the 2nd of January you can sit bat back and wonder what all the fuss was about while cancelling all the contracts for the "legacy systems" developers you had to hire.

Oracle says migrating on-prem ERP to cloud now easier than upgrade

Multivac

Does it go down for 24 hours every time you patch it though.

If there is one thing Larry is good at it's selling crap, every time we patch an exadata the thing goes down for the entire weekend, sometimes longer. All the technical staff keep saying "we need to get off this crap" but the CEO keeps signing the million dollar cheques to Larry. I wouldn't even begin the speculate what goes on in the background but if Larry's selling cloud there's a load of CEO's opening up their cheque books.

UK military may recruit wheezy, alcoholic keyboard warriors

Multivac

Some of those are out for good reason

A serious drug dependency could leave someone open to blackmail, bribery or other forms of manipulation by an external source. Eczema and asthma, not so much.

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