* Posts by Christopher P. Martin

363 posts • joined 28 Aug 2007


Plantronics Voyager Pro UC

Christopher P. Martin


...watch it there buddy- I know it's a great headset but you're gonna spill that coffee!

London Sperm Bank whips out its wedding tackle

Christopher P. Martin

What's NSFW about that?

There's much more borderline things you've let slip past the NSFW tag!

Exploding ciggie blows out Indonesian bloke's teeth

Christopher P. Martin


I think the KNO3 hypothesis could be right, you know. It's an oxidiser, and all you need is something for it to oxidise (e.g. fine tobacco- it wouldn't have to be carbon/sulphur) and it will go up quite fast. I agree with subsequent poster though that it would have to be confined for the rapid deflagration to become an explosion. I can see how a freak confinement by rolling particularly hard might cause it though.

Oz banker caught porn-surfing on live TV

Christopher P. Martin

Looks like...

...someone sent him an email and he was opening the attachments one by one. Not really porn anyway is it? More sort of FHM level stuff really. I wouldn't sack him- I'd sooner sack the guy that sent him the email.

Anti-Internet Explorer 6 protests grow with online petition

Christopher P. Martin


Use UnMHT instead.

Directgov battles terrorism with report-a-website page

Christopher P. Martin

Can I...

...have 12 bottles of bleach please?

Steve Jobs uncloaks the 'iPad'

Christopher P. Martin


"Inflation is caused by debt"

I was responding to a metaphor with a tongue-in-cheek extension of that metaphor. I'm sorry if this confused you. Are you also American?

"that chart is for computer OS's, not mobile devices"

Au contraire, if you look a little beyond the title, it lists iPhone, iPod Touch, Symbian, Blackberry, and Nintendo DS to name but a few.

"Apple care much more about profit share, mind share, and making great products, than market share"

This may well be true, but I was responding to the claim by Dru Richman that "the public has spoken, loudly, about which company it wants to buy it's electronics from". The previously noted fact contradicts his assertion.

" "95% of devices aren't by Apple" "

Please don't put quotation marks around words I haven't written. What I actually wrote was "nearly 95% of internet connected devices are NOT made by Apple". I know the meaning is similar, but if you're putting quotation marks round it, that implies a direct quote, not a paraphrasing. Moreover, I stand by this claim based on the original reference.

Christopher P. Martin
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"the public has spoken, loudly, about which company it wants to buy it's electronics from"

Yes, that's why nearly 95% of internet connected devices are NOT made by Apple (http://marketshare.hitslink.com/report.aspx?qprid=8)

"another opportunity for Apple to print money"

Really? I've heard that printing lots of money eventually leads to problems (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperinflation_in_Zimbabwe)

I don't think I'll be buying any Apple stock right now.

Christopher P. Martin

iFail to see the niche.

I'll enjoy watching this one crash and burn.

New music file aims to sink piracy using blogs and Twitter

Christopher P. Martin

"a fluffy package back door"

Sounds a bit wrong to me.

Christopher P. Martin


I predict this will crash and burn.

BT to throttle P2P for faster broadband

Christopher P. Martin

I've said it before, I'll say it again:

BE. I got 13Mb/s down and 2Mb/s up. I don't need 40Mb/s- and I abuse my bandwidth (e.g, 150GB a month sometimes). When they start throttling we're all doomed!

iPhone keeps buried earthquake victim alive for three days

Christopher P. Martin


...I know he was trapped in a lift shaft and all, but does anyone else find this guy really annoying? His "last messages" also made me feel slightly ill.

Christopher P. Martin


I'd've probably thought it more important to conserve fluids myself.

Avatards rush to name sprogs Pandora

Christopher P. Martin
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I like that.

Google unveils GDrive that's 'not the GDrive'

Christopher P. Martin

@1000 pictures of your baby?

Do you really think anyone (apart from you) will actually want to look at them all? Isn't it better to break them down into "my baby's zeroth birthday" "my baby in the park" "my baby eating cake" or "me trekking in Borneo", "more of me trekking on Borneo", "did I mention I went trekking in Borneo?" etc. so that even the particularly caring friends/relatives can at least try to filter the wheat from the chaff.

I have 3,000 pictures of my OWN wedding (2½ years ago) which I haven't sorted yet (into a manageable 100 maximum) because even _I_ don't want to look through all of them- I guess you'd just upload them all huh? I'd check your hit counters and see whether you really need albums >1000 photos. Most people have an attention span closer to 1/10th of that- even if the event was (for you) "life changing". Oh, and- why the AC?

Santa Fe man demands half a mill for being near iPhone

Christopher P. Martin


Is he serious? If one iPhone can screw him over that badly I should be a jibbering wreck in my wireless-technology-infested open-plan office. Well, sometimes I am, but I'm sure it's unrelated.

Today is not New Year's Eve - or the end of the decade

Christopher P. Martin


We're not arguing about "when a mythical event took place": whether you believe he was the son of God or not, the vast majority of historians agree that Jesus existed, and was therefore at some point born. Although I agree that arguing about when exactly it happened isn't very useful. We've set a start date and I think we just have to live with it.

As an aside, I believe all decades to run from the 5 to the 4. For example, the 80's ran from 1985 to 1994, and the 90's only finished in 2004. Just look at the fashion trends. People were wearing stuff in 1982 you wouldn't dare suggest was 80's fashion. The Spice Girls didn't make it big until 1996, and surely they are definitive of 90s music. The "Summer of Love" wasn't until 1967, and that's considered the epicentre of Hippie culture. So I say the decade will end in 2014.

O2 and Be Broadband speeds dip

Christopher P. Martin

No complaints here

I'm still getting a solid 13½Mb/s (1.6MB/s) downstream with no dropouts or slowdowns at all with BE. And I downloaded 85GB last month (although I normally average more like 40GB, and upload a similar amount). Never regretted leaving VM. Hmm... maybe I'm part of the problem...

Home Office battles to make CCTV useful

Christopher P. Martin

the Home Office crime prevention budge?

I think you meant to say "budgie". The creature has seen little mention of late, but I think more recognition should be given to his tireless efforts.

Facebook chief explains bear photo bareness

Christopher P. Martin

What bugs me...

...is the fact that it is now apparently impossible to hide your profile picture from public view. I am tempted to remove it altogether, as that seems to be the only way. I don't have any beef with the rest of the privacy re-vamp (except with maybe the "recommended" settings), just let me hide my face from the world if I want to!

3 billion have suffered Slade's 'Merry Xmas Everybody'

Christopher P. Martin

Yes, but...

...what about the attempt to get Killing In The Name to Christmas number 1? Surely 720,000 Facebookers makes it count as a tech news story? I think they actually have a chance you know!

El Reg uncovers Tiger Woods tech angle

Christopher P. Martin
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My my, that is interesting information on Wikileaks. Weak minded fools, thinking the injunction wouldn't leak. I shan't say what it is, or my comment will be rejected. But the last page has the interesting bit, after you wade through all the dull and indecipherable legalese.

Top security firm: Default Windows 7 less secure than Vista

Christopher P. Martin

And where did Apple nick the ideas from?

The OS X roots are in BSD/Unix. Don't pretend that Apple had all the good security ideas for themselves.

But yes, Windows nagging basically compels users to click-click-click until things go away. So I disagree with the whole thrust of the guy's argument: in terms of UAC, Vista and 7 are about as secure as each other for the average user (who is perhaps surprisingly tech-illiterate). The main difference is there are fewer clicks in 7 to make the annoying boxes go away.

Accused phone thief snared after phone sends pic to victim

Christopher P. Martin

@@AC 23:45

I'm guessing the accuracy of any one measurement is lower than 0.1mm, but when you take the average it does mean something. For example, maybe the accuracy is ±5mm for each measurement. You can calculate the error in the mean from the standard deviation divided by the square root of the number of samples. In this way, with a large enough sample size, you'd easily end up with a number like 13.97±0.01cm. Which, incidentally, still makes American penises significantly smaller than British ones.

Webmasters fume as Google profiles signed-out searchers

Christopher P. Martin

Can't I stop search all engines doing this...

...just by automatically clearing all cookies every time I close the browser? Surely that should be standard practice for any normally-paranoid-tinfoil-hat-wearing web user?

Swedish lactating bloke's dream turns sour

Christopher P. Martin


What a tit.

'World's largest' BitTorrent tracker Mininova kneecapped

Christopher P. Martin

Slowly they fall...

Hmm. That cuts my list down a bit then. What with TPB potentially on the rocks every few weeks, I could be left with just isohunt. What happens when they've all gone? How will it work? There must be other ways...

Record company exec cuffed for failure to twitter

Christopher P. Martin


This amuses me. And mildly disturbs me.

Virgin Media to trial filesharing monitoring system

Christopher P. Martin

DPI has no place on any internet connection

So glad I left VM. I've BEen with someone much better for quite a while now... No stupid crippling arbitrary and punitive capping, and certainly no DPI. Long may it continue. Although, I have a sad feeling it won't be very long.

IT workers top UK inertia league

Christopher P. Martin

@Paul 56

Now, I reckon it's possible to go too far. Healthy body, maybe- but are you a Narcissus with a mentally unhealthy habit of lifting weights while admiring the ripple of your muscles in a mirror?

Personally, I get my exercise quota just by cycling to work every day.

US judge rules quadriplegic can bear arms

Christopher P. Martin


@TimeMaster T - Thanks for the wikipedia link pointing out that not only does America have the highest firearm-related death rate in the world, it's heading for double the rate of its nearest competitor (which is bizarrely Finland- and before you mention NI in that list, the stats are from a time when there was effectively civil war, so that doesn't count as the UK). I think it can be argued without question that if they didn't have guns, they wouldn't be able to use them. And no, there is no other way of killing or being killed than with guns. Knives are safe, as are bolt guns, club hammers, and teaspoons.

@Heikki Härkönen - Heh heh. I got served. That wasn't the reference I meant to put in... I blame a copy/pase error... try this one:


or maybe this one:


Christopher P. Martin

@right-wing gunslinging redneck yokel

Intentional homicides per 100,000 people per year:

UK: 2.0

USA: 5.8

Firearms-related deaths per 100,000 people per year:

UK: 0.096

USA: 9.725

Figure it out.






Christopher P. Martin

I'm not opressing you, Stan- you haven't got a womb!

Where's the foetus gonna gestate- you gonna keep it in a box?!

Google search primed for 'Caffeine' injection

Christopher P. Martin

Sounds like a rare occasion...

...when a spanner in the works is a good thing.

How malware frames the innocent for child abuse

Christopher P. Martin

@Just one more reason

Hmm. Do I smell a troll, or are you really that stupid? I'm not going to rise to the bait, I'll leave that to other people...

Is this the world's dirtiest PC?

Christopher P. Martin

Brace yourself...

...for the "That's nothing, I once saw a PC that..." style replies. Although to be fair I've seen worse.

Christopher P. Martin

Oh, and...

...surely this has to be a contender for the world's dirtiest PC:


Atheists smite online God poll

Christopher P. Martin

Looks like there's a time limit on voting more than once...

...simply wait a few minutes and do it again :)

Christopher P. Martin


Looks like the increased traffic has downed their website! That tickles me.

Steve Ballmer's Windows 7 dance party

Christopher P. Martin


Isn't that what the pagefile is for? Oh wait, no- that's the other way around....


I have 6GB ram and no pagefile. Cue people telling me it's a bad idea, but my machine runs measurably faster than when I had 2GB ram and a 4GB pagefile. If I run out of memory, the application dies. I'm happy with that. Much better than the whole system grinding to a halt while it swaps to the disk so I have to reboot anyway.


Apple Magic Mouse

Christopher P. Martin

They're so stubborn.

Why won't they just admit that two (or three) buttons are better than one? The keyboard should not be involved in mouse operations. Just like The Independent, they're being different for the sake of it. It doesn't sound useful. The two-button-plus-scrollwheel model is ubiquitous because it's good. No matter how many extra buttons or functions they add to these things, they are a novelty that just gets in the way. I don't think we'll be seeing anyone copy this style in a hurry.

Dell refunds PC user for rejecting Windows

Christopher P. Martin

Difficult to agree with something you can't read...

I forget which piece of MS-ware it was (probably an Office variant), but a few years ago I recall getting a CD that was sealed into the case with a sticker saying "By opening this case you agree to be bound by the enclosed license terms..." or something similar. How is that supposed to work? Surely that's not enforceable?

Pluto still a planet, says Ronald McDonald

Christopher P. Martin

@Laurel Kornfeld

Hello again Laurel. I have just today noticed your essay about my posts regarding Pluto last year (http://laurele.livejournal.com/5823.html). I have to say I'm flattered that you devoted the time to respond to my comment so extensively.

I do however feel you may have taken my comments a little seriously. I understand that some of the readers of El Reg across the pond have trouble with it's dry, tongue in cheek, sometimes sarcastic reporting style. This theme tends to continue with the comments, and mine were no exception. As an aside, I think El Reg picking up the McDonald's story is probably quite tongue in cheek too. I'm sure the editors realise it was probably just a mistake on their part, but wanted a mildly amusing article from it.

Of course I didn't leave teaching because of a simple issue like that. The reasons were numerous and complex. The rigour and prescriptive nature of the teaching in some areas was just one factor. In that respect I agree with you- the curriculum shouldn't be so inflexible as to deduct marks from pupils that are understandably confused by the removal of Pluto's planet status.

I am a physicist by training, and my opinion of the matter of Pluto's classification is strongly in the "what difference does it make" camp; I don't really care either way. Your opinion appears in my view somewhat extreme. You are of course entitled to your opinion, but I am completely baffled as to why you care at all. It really makes no difference to anything. I'm quite familiar with the Orwellian power of language to influence thought, but I fail to see the relevance in this case. What has anyone lost if Pluto is regarded as a big rock like many others (including its closest "moon", which is more than half its size)? You may as well argue about whether my hair is blonde or light brown- it doesn't change anything. Except maybe for Hitler.

So, contrary to your suggestion, I do respect your "values", but I don't understand what they have to do with Pluto. If I was perhaps questioning your view on a moral, religious, or ethical point, that would be a question about values. The Pluto discussion is one of simple semantics- unless Pluto is some kind of religion for you? You certainly seem quite evangelical about it. You obviously have a lot of energy for this sort of thing, and I wonder what could be achieved if you directed it to a cause that actually helped humanity in some way.

US to export riot-roasting raygun

Christopher P. Martin

@Tin foil hat

At 94Ghz, the wavelength is around 3.2mm, meaning the chicken wire would have to be of significantly finer mesh than that for proper protection. Maybe 1mm holes might be okay, but a complete tinfoil suit is probably the best option.

On the other hand, most riots are probably too spontaneous for people to think "Hmm... I wonder if I'll be involved in a riot and targeted with a sinister directed-energy weapon today. Shall I put on my tinfoil suit? Nah, maybe tomorrow."

Talking DAB and the future of radio

Christopher P. Martin
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"Going forward"

Anyone who says this infuriating and meaningless phrase twice in an interview (once is bad enough!) is obviously far closer to management/marketing than the reality of the technology. I wish him luck, but he's on a dead-end road.

Italian Job sat nav driver cops £900 fine

Christopher P. Martin
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I found it!



TBH I can see the confusion- "Watty Lane" is apparently marked as a road. Appropriately near to "Bac[k]up Road" too...

Virgin hijacks empty pages

Christopher P. Martin

Is that an IE6 screenshot?

Shame on you.

When ISPs hijack your rights to NXDOMAIN

Christopher P. Martin
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Yet another reason...

...that I'm glad I left Virgin Media for BE. Advertising isn't something I'm fond of. Life is so much more peaceful when you aren't being told what to want next. I don't watch live TV, I don't listen to commercial radio, I use ABP on Firefox (sorry Reg), and I don't take kindly to advertisements sneaking into my error messages.

Imagine... "Windows Media Player has stopped responding. Click here for fantastic Windows Media Player ringtones on your mobile. Interested in Windows Media Player? Everything you need to know is here. Enlarge your Windows Media Player and maker her squeal with delight!"

It's only one step away.

Reg reader captures Perseid meteor

Christopher P. Martin

What camera...

...pray tell, did he use? And what aperture/ISO/shutter speed? The metadata is no help to me! I might have a go tonight if it stops raining...


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