* Posts by OssianScotland

50 posts • joined 16 Mar 2018

Russian sailors maroon themselves in Bristol Channel after drunken dinghy ride goes awry


Re: Mate of mine

No, they were at the conference

O2 brings forth a Friday fail for some unlucky UK customers


Re: Do dual-SIM (ie dual network) mobile phones still exist in the UK?

My Honor 9 (Huawei cheap brand) has either a second sim or an SD card. I use it with a data only SIM as a mobile hotspot

Ransomware drops the Lillehammer on Norsk Hydro: Aluminium giant forced into manual mode after systems scrambled


Re: Ransom

They, at least, should be familiar with Danegeld - Kipling's version to be precise

Yes! Pack your bags! Blossoming planetary system strikingly similar to ours found by boffins


Re: Faster than light not needed?

One of his juvenile novels (cant remember which one and too lazy to walk to the bookcases) is all about STL interstellar travel, plus some sort of telepathy between twins and - eventually - other relatives.

"Time for the Stars" says a small voice in the corner of my mind

Brit prisoners to be kept on the straight and narrow with JavaScript and CSS


<daily mail web desginer reader>

Shirley an endangered species, if not completely extinct?

FBI warns of SIM-swap scams, IBM finds holes in visitor software, 13-year-old girl charged over JavaScript prank...


Re: Caution.

I heartily agree with all of the above. My Pippin (not a rescue dog - I got him as a pup) is now nearly 5, a Bearded Collie who has the best temperament of any dog I have had. He is always there for you, tripping over my feet quite often, but happy to lie snuggled beside me when I am working at home, and even happier to go on a nice long walk (sometimes with protesting children in tow) or to respond to the magic word "Treats". His only vice is that when I am typing, and he feels I am not giving him enough attention, is that he sticks his nose under my elbow and nudges, causing the keyboard to go slightly haywire....

He can sense my emotions and if I am feeling a bit gloomy, all I have to do is to sit on the floor and he will come over, flop mostly on my lap (he's a large dog) and give me a quick lick. My wife (correctly) says I love the dog more than her.

I hope he has many long years left, and I know I will be devastated when he goes.

Civil servants 'Sir Humphrey' their way through grilling on UK.gov's digital transformation


Re: Let's make one thing clear

My parents (both fairly senior Civil Servants (the Bernard level, not up to Sir Humphrey) used to listen to Yes Minister on the radio and on at least one occasion were heard to say "now how on earth did they find out about THAT?"

Ever since then, I felt the whole show was more of a documentary than a fictional comedy.

Deton-8. Blastobox-3. Demo-1... One of these is the name of a SpaceX crew capsule test now due to launch in March


Re: What a let down.

Mnementh and Ramoth spring rapidly to mind...

...coat, please.... yes, the one with the copy of "The Atlas of Pern" in the pocket... thank you....

I am just a mapper: Solar drones take to the skies above Blighty


Re: What goes up with the aid of a launcher...

But have they got the "right stuff"?

Happy Satellite Collision Day! It is 10 years since Russia and Iridium got too close for comfort



Burning up rubbish? Will nobody think of the <group of choice>? Shirley it should all be recycled - that's what the council keep telling me, anyway

Canadians moot methods to embiggen moose monument and make Mac great again


and (unlike Krakatoa) East of Java

Campaigners get go-ahead to challenge exemption UK gave itself over immigrants' data


Re: A Government that wants carte blanche with personal information


Poly - Many

Tick - small blood sucking insect

China's really cotton'd on to this whole Moon exploration thing: First seed sprouts in lunar lander biosphere


Re: Just a PR stunt

You'll get your proof once we've done a bit more with the CGI

SpaceX's Crew Dragon shows up at pad 39A, nearly 8 years after the last Shuttle left


Re: Naming conventions

"Think of it as Evolution in Action"

Unfortunately I have only one upvote to give you

Techie basks in praise for restoring workforce email (by stopping his scripting sh!tshow)


In a similar vein...

For my sins, I am an MCT, and once ran a (successful) course on SQL Server Querying for a company.

As with other Microsoft courses, it was all run in a virtual environment, on laptops I brought in, but using a database (AdventureWorks, for those who have met it) which had nothing to do with the actual line of business.

We finished a few hours early, so the delegates asked if they could put their new skills into practice on the real databases. Since they had a nice training room, with plenty of PCs, I didn't see any problem with this, and the IT manager couldn't see any issues either, so they all set up, practicing joins, sub queries, grouping, and all the other fun you can have with SQL.....

...for about 10 minutes, when the DBA came running in and demanded, in no uncertain terms, to know what the f@&k we were doing to his production servers, which had slowed to a crawl under the extra load.

An upset tummy and a sphincter-loosening blackout: Lunar spaceflight is all glamour


Re: 0Day Rule is Licensed to Thrill .... Submitting and Surrendering to Simply Heavenly Tasks



Re: "almost ridiculous"

"I guess he'll pass on a free ride to Mars if Musk or Bezos were to offer..."

Someone needs to point him at Konstantin Tsiolkovsky:

"Earth is the cradle of mankind, but one cannot live in a cradle forever"

50 years ago: NASA blasts off the first humans to experience a lunar close encounter


Re: Remeber those heady days of the Apollo missions well

I was five (and a very important half) and remember the Genesis broadcast, but my first real memory was Apollo 11, being sat down in the school hall, in front of one of those big (for the time) B&W TVs with the wooden doors and being told "watch this, you will never see anything like it again". The teachers were right!

With hindsight, and a nerdy interest in all things space-flight related, I realised that for the UK at least, it was a repeat, since the actual timeline doesn't fit with the school day, but it was an unforgettable experience.

I can also remember being glued to the radio during the Apollo 13 mission, wondering whether Tom Hanks (sorry, Jim Lovell) et.al. would make it back.

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones


Re: EMP gun?

"Mind you, lobbing a nuke at Gatwick might well be considered overkill."

Other places, yes, but Gatwick?

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner


Re: Bacon makes everything better

Frozen Pizza? The Styrofoam would probably have been more nutritious (and tasty)

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight


Re: We need MorPork

Are you, by any chance, a yAnkh ?

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler


Let it Go

"a long car ride and the soundtracks of Frozen and Moana are, in fact, significantly worse "

Having once spent 10 hours in a car with Frozen on endless repeat on a screen just behind my head (plus children singing along where appropriate), I can testify to the accuracy of that comment. By the third repeat, I was ready to hurl the damn things (the screens, not the children, although I was sorely tempted) into the middle of the motorway.

Beer... because I needed several after it was all over

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20


"I love D20s - nice and smooth if you stand on one in bare feet. D4s however, make Lego bricks feel like feathers!"

It isn't standing on them, its kneeling on one by mistake (where's the "Eyes watering at the thought" icon?)

Scumbag hackers lift $1m from children's charity


Who are the criminals here?

Given the way most large charities seem to be run as businesses (executive pay, perks and admin costs, not to mention chuggers on commission) and treat their alleged "clients" as little more than an afterthought, please pardon my lack of sympathy.

Even "worthy" charities such as the RNLI (and why does Britain need a charity to rescue sailors?) are going rapidly down this route, so I now refuse to give to anything other than small local charities which actually care about the causes they represent.

I agree with other comments about lack of due diligence and proper procedures, which should not have allowed this to happen.

Time for a cracker joke: What's got one ball and buttons in the wrong place?


My Dad (now in his 90's) had a laptop with a USB printer. When it died, he got a replacement and shortly after phoned me to say he had trouble printing. I used TeamViewer and could not see the printer, but he assured me it was plugged in properly. Nothing I tried worked, but I was visiting a couple of weeks later....

….that was when I realised that a USB plug would fit perfectly into an Ethernet port.

A little bluetac and stickytape later and the problem should never recur

Razer offers freebies to gamers who descend into its coin mine


"The only people that run this will be the ones that either don't pay for their power or aren't great at maths."

So ideal for most student accommodation then?

Laptop search unravels scheme to fake death for insurance cash


You would really expect an Igor to be better organised than that - a new face and digits at the very least....

…. GNU Pterry

Peers to HMRC: Digital tax reforms 3 days after Brexit? Hold your horses, how 'bout 3 years...


As I understand it (from a brief conversation with my accountant) you are having to submit a lot more than boxes 1-9. He said all transactions involving a VAT element will need submission so presumably they can match the claimed refunds for one business against the sales for the other.

I said it sounded like a complete clusterfork and he basically agreed. I have used an excel workbook for 15 years - never had any issues or complaints, but now I am going to have to completely revamp it into an HMRC compatible format (I am told Excel is an acceptable method as long as the layout matches what they want). I reckon one day chargeable time used per quarter (at the moment I am 10 mins a week updating the workbook, then 15 mins a quarter pulling out the numbers for the return).


Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship


Re: Yes

I'd go for Starship Trooper.

In which case, how about Rodger Young?

John McAfee is 'liable' for 2012 death of Belize neighbour, rules court


Re: "The eccentric millionaire"

It is (with apologies to Sir Humphrey) one of many irregular verbs in the English language:

"I am independent-minded"

"You are eccentric"

"He/She is a fucking loon"

Which scientist should be on the new £50 note? El Reg weighs in – and you should vote, too


What, no Barnes Wallis?

No more text really needed.....

Core-blimey! Riddle of Earth's mysterious center finally 'solved' by smarty seismologists


Re: So it's...

Hot fudge sundae, which will be on a Tuesday


Hunt for Planet X finds yet another planetoid, just not the right one


Re: That's what it means.

Copy and Paste from the Daily Fail's "science" section?

Microsoft resurfaces Surface kit alongside Windows 10 update


Re: Going back to Thinkpad

For me the screen resolution is the great thing about the SP and SB - enough to do a decent amount of work rather than flipping windows all the time.

Agree it can cause problems with remote desktop, although the zoom function generally resolves them for me.

I was disappointed that, from a first glance, there are no real improvements in the SP6 - same general memory and processor options, same screen etc. I had hoped for some more ports - a single USB is not enough and maybe a slightly larger screen area (resolution does not need improvement).

Send up a satellite to zap space junk if you want Earth's orbit to be clean, say boffins


Re: Re: It all seems a bit far fetched, to me

The article states 1800 seconds, so half an hour, not half a minute.

Agree with a later commentator that the physics seems a bit off

Bombing raids during WWII sent out shockwaves powerful enough to alter the Earth's ionosphere


Re: C'mon, we're all anoraks round here

I saw the picture and had to check the page URL to make sure I hadn't got onto the Daily Fail by mistake. At least it wasn't captioned "jets"

Working Apple-1 retro fossil auctioned off to mystery bidder for $375,000


Ah, so flown (in the LM) TO the lunar surface as opposed to flown ON the lunar surface (after being flown to it).

I always thought that, after Gus Grissom's escapades with souvenirs in the Mercury programme, NASA took a dim view of such things



I'm more interested in the "Apollo 11 Lunar Surface flown US flag" - as far as I know, the only one they flew got left behind, so there must be a story behind this (unless it is just a replica, and someone got seriously ripped off)

Microsoft 'kills' passwords, throws up threat manager, APIs Graph Security


AD != AD

I am impressed with Micro$oft's creeping changes:

2FA works with AD.

Domain Admins the world over assume this means their existing ACTIVE Directory

Oops, silly me, it is AZURE Directory (premium at that) so "just a few <currency of choice>"

"Just a few" per user per month suddenly becomes yet another budget drain, plus of course, your internal security directory is in the cloud "for your convenience"

What could possibly go wrong?

How an over-zealous yank took down the trading floor of a US bank


"over-zealous yank"

Am I the only person who read that title totally differently to the way the author intended?

30-up: You know what? Those really weren't the days



"My first DnD encounter"

I am, unfortunately, old enough that my first thought was of a certain role-playing game with funny dice.

Put your tin-foil hats on! Wi-Fi can be used to guesstimate number of people hidden in a room


Re: Woof!

My collies would like to upvote you too

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase


Manassas? That sounds like a load of Bull Run

Icon for all who get the reference

Beam me up, PM: Digital secretary expected to give Tory conference speech as hologram


"Wright, a criminal lawyer by training"

Surely at least one word in that is redundant?

Boffins get fish drunk to prove what any bouncer already knows


For Cod's sake, this is all a red herring!

Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!


Garbage In, Garbage Out...

..but obviously not any more!

Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon


Lightning? That isn't a Lightning - too few engines, too slow and looks nothing like a proper Lightning!

Microsoft sinks another data centre with Natick 2


But is it proof against laser-equipped sharks? Enquiring minds want to know!

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'


At my kids primary school there were some steps in the playground. For "elf 'n' safe tea" reasons, they had a 3 inch fluorescent orange strip carefully painted on each one.

A couple of winters ago the school was closed because (this was in the message that was sent out) the snow had covered the steps so the orange strips were not visible. You couldn't make it up!

Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper


In a similar vein, early 1980s watching a boss waiting for his financials printout to emerge from the impact printer. Neatly dressed - business suit (jacket open) and tie, and holding a cup of coffee. He saw an interesting bit emerge, leaned over to look more closely and... I now know that coffee, polyester scraps and high speed printers do not form a good combination

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