Dear Mr Musk,
Regrettably, we are unable to further process your claim for damage to your 2008 Tesla Roadster.
As the owner of the other vehicle has submitted evidence that it was unoccupied at the time of the collision, we must agree with their assertion that you were the driver at fault. Further, it would appear that the subsequent damage to the other vehicle is a direct consequence of the collision.
Our assessors have estimated the damage to the other vehicle as irreparable. The list price of a 2011 Tiangong, at $xxx,xxx,xxx.xx, is in excess of the limits of your public liability policy. Please find attached a copy of the letter we have received from the legal representatives of the vehicle's owner, CNSA Ltd.
Can we take this opportunity to remind you of our discounted rates on life insurance?
Kind regards,
Biting the hand that feeds IT
