* Posts by The Oncoming Scorn

433 posts • joined 3 Feb 2018

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Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins

The Oncoming Scorn

Re: Graphics

I had a period of sick leave (Flu - IIRC) & recall Wolf3D\Doom inducing a worse nausea sensation in my gut if I played it for too long might of been the combo of being ill in the first place with the resolution.

LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing

The Oncoming Scorn
Alert

Re: Does it despense vast amounts of bog rool??

My local pub in UK got hold of some farm scrumpy & one regular proceeded to spend a whole afternoon & early summer evening drinking the stuff, decided he would leave as the sun was slowly setting around 9ish, drunkenly weaved his way through a empty car park, crossed the main road without incident, got 100 yards up the quiet residential road (Directly facing the pub & in full view of the a lot more sober & highly amused regulars), grabbed onto a lamp post for dear life, when his bowels finally surrendered their content of fluid gut rot.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics

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Holmes

Re: Children of the Resolution

A Devon & Cornwall detective (in his 20's) I encountered repeatedly insisted that his monitor be set to 800x600 (Build was locked to 1024 x 768 resolution) because he couldn't read it.

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Thumb Up

Re: The right attitude

Rollout for a call centre in UK.

PC's were freezing on the Windows 98 build for some unknown reason, couldn't find a root cause until I noticed the machines on the second floor weren't freezing.

These machines were operated by older staff members who weren't using the scroll wheel on the mouse, one removal of the Logitech scroll wheel mouse driver on all the machines across the board resolved the issue.

Sysadmin’s plan to manage system config changes backfires spectacularly

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Alert

Re: Script deleting HR accounts

I'm in a weird situation here & I will admit to being on the whole totally new at the whole create\disable accounts (Having moved up & sideways late in my career) thing.

Hires & Fires come in at all times of the day.

I create accounts as per my instructions, different job roles have a whole bunch of OU's to be added "globally or branch specific", based on the training I have had & prior knowledge.

So I'm slowly working on script automation, basically the same script (For each job role) that calls the specific's for each branch information (Branch address & the correct OU's etc) & I still have according to my process training a number of Office\Exchange\Licensing\Skype server web pages to go through to complete, which I don't want to get out of my depth by even attempting to automate, simply testing as I go.

Disabling accounts is pretty much the same process (In reverse), but really doesn't require any script as yet (That said, there's a few parts I'd like to automate).

Upshot I'm really not sure if the way I do things is really the correct Microsoft way, it's just how I have been told to do it so it works with the rest of our group infrastructure.

My scripts at the very least save me having to cut n paste in branch specifics from a Excel master spreadsheet so that's a time saver when setting up a new user or changing job role.

Marriott's Starwood hotels mega-hack: Half a BILLION guests' deets exposed over 4 years

The Oncoming Scorn
Coat

Re: Homewrecker

Northern Minnesota is actually quite nice & I drove from from MSP up to & into Canada some years back, I don't think I enjoyed the drive up from Chicago back to MSP on the same trip around the Great Lakes (But the weather had turned it was wet\sleet) & the views weren't as great in the south, to the best of my recall.

The Oncoming Scorn
Stop

Phantom Phone Calls

I get on average 4 calls a month automated voice mail claiming that as a Marriott (Sometimes WestJet) client, I have qualified for ............

I have usually dropped the phone connection by then.

Support whizz 'fixes' screeching laptop with a single click... by closing 'malware-y' browser tab

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Facepalm

Re: Technical equipment, user, not quite so.

Shame on me - You know I'd really forgotten that UK plugs have a power switch (Also easier to fit as it's all plate into the wall box).

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Pint

Re: For old times' sake

I rewrote a lot of my notes from C&G224 on the PCW.

Happy Days!

That Old Time 2018 IT songbook: Verity, Verity - give us your lyrics, do! We're half crazy, all for the love of you

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Angel

Whoot

@ Verity - Is this the same Dave Neal who died in January that went under the username of Whoot, who had a fight with a swan (about 14 years ago) & wrote letters on behalf of his dog Poppy to companies?

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Megaphone

Re: Great stuff, Verity!

I can't wait for the next outage & just swap Virgin for Telus & post it in our group chat.

AI snaps business titan jaywalking

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Stop

Re: Jaywalking

I can't believe how I became conditioned to stand on a crossing waiting for a green walk light at - something stupid degrees C & with absolutely no traffic in Calgary in my vicinity.

If I decide to run the risk of crossing while on red light, having followed the Tufty Club\SPLINK & Green Cross Code (In reverse cause they drive on the wrong side of the road, just because we are in a minority it doesn't make us wrong) & then repeating excessively looking out for cops* before stepping onto the road & crossing.

Unlike Canadians (Who also think that vehicles have a magical ability to come to a dead stop the moment they step in front of a car), I continue to look left & right as I cross the road legally or not.

I do miss the ability to cross the road freely & safely like I used to do in the UK.

*The nanny state over here will see you with a fine if caught jaywalking.

Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert

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Coat

Re: Warnings and prep at the top!

The document that got 2/3rds of the way through post image setup of a server, then presented a screenshot of "Continue..... " "Yes" "No", at the very bottom of the page then had 2.5 of blank pages before it resumed with " graphic of a stop sign & text saying STOP - Do Not Press Yes At This Time".

By which time it was too late & you had to reimage the new bank server at 12.30am all over again.

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Stop

Re: Bad advice

The last Chocolate liquer from Russia (Or somewhere of that ilk) still had the prime ingredient of the cabbage leaf floating in it.

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Boffin

Re: Spoilers in Tech Docs!

I'm usually the one writing the batch file for the previous 32 steps & a few more on top usually.

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

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Pint

Re: New Episode?

There should be a Christmas or New Year Episode coming in the next 6 or so weeks I would hope.

Microsoft: You looking at me funny? Oh, you just want to sign in

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Facepalm

Tea Through The Nose

Relatively speaking that's not too bad, it's the laughing hysterically (The Sunderland Car Factory Executive & Automated Mail Unit story) coughing up a mix of beer & recently eaten bit of strawberry cheesecake & snorting that out of your nostrils that really smarts (While still laughing) alot.

Icon - Holding a clean hanky to the affected area .

Big Falcon Namechange for Musk's rocket: BFR becomes Starship

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Coat

Re: "Starship"

The Anonymous Rocket Designation Is Starship.

Where to implant my employee microchip? I have the ideal location

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Joke

Re: Sadly common

While no one likes a smart arse, with or without a embedded chip in it?

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Alien

Re: Poor Reliability.. better idea

Rewatching (briefly) the second series of Space:1999, I'm amused that minor characters are wearing costumes with their photo ID apparently stitched into them, on a base with less than 300 people, you would think everyone would be able to spot a intruder & for the most part know everybody elses names.

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Thumb Up

Re: Poor Reliability.. better idea

Job: Heinlein I presume.

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Childcatcher

Re: As someone who currently designs chip-enabled cat interface devices...

I hope you named him Dumbledore after that revelation.

“Ah! Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I’m afraid I’ve rather lost my liking for them — but I think I’ll be safe with a nice toffee, don’t you?”

He smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth.

Bright spark dev irons out light interference

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Stop

Founderies

I advised my bosses to walk away from a support contract at a foundery,

As the sporadic support calls to attend, usually came in at peak times of other (& more profitable) revenue streams.

As the contributor states "You only had to go to the shop floor briefly to spend the rest of the day stinking of dust and metal," not only that but feel the "tang" of it in your mouth & keep the feel of the metal dust on your skin. So one hour into the working day, you felt like you needed to go home & start afresh for the rest of the day.

They were using locked down builds (No they wouldn't give us the Admin password) that were tighter than the later builds I encountered in the pharmaceutical world I later encountered.

It was domestic grade computers & printers, that really didn't like accumulating metal dust on it inside or out.

Japanese cyber security minister 'doesn't know what a USB stick is'

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Holmes

Re: "you don't need to be an expert in something to manage it"

About 15 years ago there was a four man team that used to walk & inspect for damage in the Dawlish - Teignmouth sea wall & monitor threatening cliff movements that might block the track in the even of a land slip, repairing any damage on the spot on a daily basis, scheduling what couldn't be fixed to occur when the materials\equipment were on hand.

Then a bean counter decided this was a waste of resources & junked the practice, the damage got worse in the periods between inspections, repairs more costly each time with more delays & cancellations for passengers .

I wonder how much of the 2014 damage, from the big storm could have been averted had the bean counter, just left a working system in place..

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-26521168

Oracle's JEDI mind-meld doesn't work on Uncle Sam's auditors: These are not the govt droids you are looking for

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Coat

Re: Dr Who quote needed

Sorry - Fifth Doctor, not Fourth.

The Awakening.

TURLOUGH: Good. I quite miss that brown liquid they drink here.

CHANDLER: Ale.

TURLOUGH: No, er, tea.

CHANDLER: What be tea?

DOCTOR: Oh, a noxious infusion of oriental leaves containing a high percentage of toxic acid.

CHANDLER: Sounds an evil brew, don't it.

DOCTOR: True. Personally, I rather like it.

OK Google, why was your web traffic hijacked and routed through China, Russia today?

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Joke

Re: Adventure

No relation to Leslie?

Palliative care for Windows 10 Mobile like a Crimean field hospital, but with even less effort

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Pint

Re: Shame to see it end like this.

BYOD deal that simply can't be beaten (Unless this year pulls something special out of the hat in the run up to Christmas). I'm buying unlocked in future far easier on my pocket.

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

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Thumb Up

Re: Few comments

Digging out salvaged IDE drives (10\20\40Gb) & cloning the still working drive of a emissions tester, got me a free MOT at the garage concerned about 11 years ago.

Bloke jailed for trying to blow up UK crypto-cash biz after it failed to reset his account password

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Mushroom

Re: Correct response

ZAPHOD:

…the building’s being bombed! Who in the galaxy would want to bomb a software company?

MARVIN:

It’s customers?

With apologies to Douglas.

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

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Pint

The Divorce Induced Clearout.

I suspect a lot of my hoard has gone the way of the tip, if I didn't remove it on my last "pickup" run back in the summer (Including my beloved Tapwave Zodiac II's) by the Mrs Outgoing Scorn.

I have tidied up a lot of my existing stuff, a good chunk remains to be done & I'm already being threatened with stuff heading into the bin by the new Ms Incoming Scorn who doesn't share my love of old tools, cables & bits that will come in handy one day.

On the plus side we do have a nice very large heated garage to sort it out when we move into a new place at the end of the month, assuming she doesn't strike first with a garbage pre-emptive strike..

FYI NASA just lobbed its Parker probe around the Sun in closest flyby yet: A nerve-racking 15M miles from the surface

The Oncoming Scorn
Alien

Are ‘Disaster Area’ playing a gig anywhere nearby?

Disaster Area was a plutonium rock band from the Gagrakacka Mind Zones and was generally regarded as not only the loudest rock band in the Galaxy, but also as being the loudest noise of any kind at all. Regular concert goers judged that the best sound balance was usually to be heard from within large concrete bunkers some thirty-seven miles away from the stage, whilst the musicians themselves played their instruments by remote control from within a heavily insulated spaceship which stayed in orbit around the planet - or more frequently around a completely different planet.

Russian computer failure on ISS is nothing to worry about – they're just going to turn it off and on again

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Boffin

Re: Which computers is this?

Space:1999 - Opening windows on Moonbase Alpha.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_RroBm1BXU4/VK9KtHr5bQI/AAAAAAABAqU/ZBPiOUI3jFI/s1600/space1999-8.jpg

To be fair there were a couple of scripted\deleted scenes regarding the replacement of the normal windows for ones that allowed them to be opened & refitting afterwards (Can't figure out why they had factory made replacements to hand, nor would I want to be testing the seals by being in Main Mission as the atmosphere leaked away again).

Stairway to edam: Swiss bloke blasts roquefort his cheese, thinks Led Zep might make it tastier

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Pint

Ultravox - Brielliant

MUSE - Plug In Babybel\Brieby

DBA drifts into legend after inventive server convo leaves colleagues fearing for their lives

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Terminator

Re: My boss was demonstrating the instrusion sensors on our building

Some sell Terminators, Cyberdyne Systems I presume (See Icon - Nuff Said)

Clunk, bang, rattle: Is that a ghost inside your machine?

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Pint

Re: I really don’t believe in the paranormal, but

I used to attend a amateur dramatics group. We existed in two parts, one part leased our theatre from the council, the other half owned a Georgian house, converted into rehearsal rooms, wardrobe rooms, & a basement for prop\backdrops & we also had a resident ghost by the name of "Charlie".

Strange knocking noises would be silenced if you called out "Be quiet Charlie" or similar.

A couple people saw a figure in a top hat & cloak style of costume at the door of the house dissipate as they approached.

A group of students came in to rent costumes from us & the radio was left playing as the wardrobe mistress assisted the students with their costume requirements, after a while across she noticed that the radio was silent, all the students were with her but it was gone.

Six months later it was found at the bottom of a trunk filled with costumes that hadn't been needed for a long while (Still on but battery flat), which had two more very heavy costume filed trunks placed on top of it. Her words....."Charlie didn't like the noise".

Now my father used to odd job in his retirement, doing work as a carpenter, usually called into the local pub reversing the changes the previous landlord had done so every 7 months or so (Like reinstating doors that the previous landlord had wanted removed, money for old rope as he put it).

One late lunchtime hes finished up & hes getting a complimentary pint & pub lunch after another job, when a guy walks in, hes watched by Father & another customer as hes clearly not a regular especially as he fades to nothing walking past a pillar.

"Did you see that?"

"I did if you did!"

"OK I'm off" Drinks pint quickly

"Me too!" Drinks pint, finishes lunch quickly & both exit.

Six months to a year later I walk in to the bar mid Sunday afternoon, father is there as per usual, I sidle up to him & greet the old coffin dodger in my usual fashion & order myself a pint & a whiskey for him as hes taken up residence at the other end of the long bar on this occassion.

"You should have been here 20 minutes ago!"

"Why Dad"

That fucking guy walked in through the door, dressed exactly the same & faded away in front of us all here as he reached the pillar!"

Beer - Until the next time we have a drink together in the great pub hereafter Dad.

Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity

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Coat

Re: Noted scientists

That sounds highly improbable....

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Pint

Re: Electricity

I just read that to the tune of (in my head) Tesla Girls.

I feel one of my (infamous) parody songs coming on.......

Boffins have fabricated microscopic sci-fi tractor beams for real

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Alien

Re: Photons are massless, but they have momentum

I saw this documentary...

http://www.fanderson.org.uk/epguides/tdateg.html

Brian "Gordons Alive!" Blessed in it so it must be true.

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Coat

Re: using beams of light to manipulate atoms.

....& there was I thinking I was staggering backwards due to the sudden exposure of bright natural sunlight after leaving my windowless Mission Control at 5pm.

Getting me coat cause the white shit is forever getting closer to falling down at this time of year.

Microsoft claims Office 364 back to business as usual. Oh no it isn't, say suffering sysadmins

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Childcatcher

Re: Active reproduction?!?!

I think that comes later (Typically 9 months) - Right now it's the right royal rogering by Microshaft, thats leaving BOFH's, PFY's & lusers Red (with exasperation), Raw (Nerves & stresses) & feeling sore.

Unsure why you can't log into Office 365? So is Microsoft

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Pirate

Re: Please for the love of god find a way

That's why I sign into my machines with a local account, not a Microsoft account.

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FAIL

Re: Why both sides of the Atlantic ?

It's hitting us at the moment, it's already bad & the users are starting to notice....

With the 6T, OnePlus hopes to shed 'cheeky upstart' tag and launch assault on flagships

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Coat

Re: No headphone jack

Not a deal breaker for me, I find cords & cables a real PITA when travelling or in server rooms.

Especially as work got me a very nice noise cancelling set of bluetooth headphones. :D

Icon: Where's me 3.5 M-M stereo lead?

Britain's rail ticket-booking systems go TITSUP*

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Coat

Maybe the server has gone to sleeper mode.

Assange catgate hearing halted as Ecuador hunts around for someone who speaks Australian

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Coat

Re: Soap opera

Joe Dolce - Is the cat called Vienna (After Rigsbys cat in Rising Damp) perchance?

Icon because Midge Ure wore a long one in the Vienna video.

US congress-critters question prime directive of Pentagon's $10bn JEDI cloud contract

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Coat

Re: Missing Blakes.

Is that what Brian Crouchers doing these days?

Icon: looking for my Liberator teleport bracelet

Can't get pranked by your team if nobody in the world can log on

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Devil

Re: the old "rotate the monitor" trick

I used to do this with some of my users at one place if I found they had left their machines unlocked, with a comment I'm just down the corridor, send them to see me & tell what was their mistake, otherwise I'll be back in 10 mins.

Fair game they used to try & poison me with "confectionary delicacies", the worst was the chocolate liquer one that's prime ingredient was cabbage.

Haunted disk-drive? This story will give you the chills...

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Mushroom

The Other Extreme

Went to site on a Friday Afternoon to investigate discover why the network was slow on Monday mornings & a bit better each other morning of the week at a Doctors surgery.

The answer was evident in about 30 seconds, the router, switches, VPN box & access points were all kept in a kitchen wall cabinet full of medical items, left open during the day.

"Do you close this at night?"

"Yes"

"I know what your problem is""

"What?" (Disbelieving tone)

"You're cooking your kit, overnight & the weekends, when you open the door each morning it gives the equipment chance to cool down!"

The Oncoming Scorn
Mushroom

Re: Condensation is not good for disks.

It's not good for paper either....

Printer constantly jamming in one area, ham-fisted (Ironic as we daily turned cows into something delicious) night shift users constantly ripping the paper trying to extract from the fuser, resulting in numerous service calls.

Cause of the jams - Damp paper.

Why was the paper damp - Old wooden table removed (before I started) & that used to soak up all the moisture in the air.

Solution - Department collected a fresh ream of paper at the start of every shift.

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