* Posts by Toilet Duk

49 posts • joined 30 Jan 2018

I used to be a dull John Doe. Thanks to Huawei, I'm now James Bond!

Toilet Duk

So who's done the most damage in the world - China or the US/UK? Yeah, I'll spy for the Chinese, thanks.

Iran satellite fails: ICBM test drive or microsat test? Opinion is divided...

Toilet Duk

If Israel can have illegal nuclear weapons then so can Iran.

Peak Apple: This time it's SERIOUS, Tim

Toilet Duk

I ditched Apple and got me a Redmi Note 4 from Banggood for £125 and it's just fine.

Drone goal! Quadcopter menace alert freezes flights from London Heathrow Airport

Toilet Duk

Want to pass repressive legislation that people would not normally put up with? Just use the old "Problem-Reaction-Solution" playbook.

Problem: Oh no thousands of people had their holidays ruined at Gatwick

Reaction: Do something!

Solution: Draconian anti-drone legislation and the ever-widening definition of "terrorist".

Coming next - new anti-protest legislation following the harassment of Remain MPs by idiots outside Parliament.

American bloke hauls US govt into court after border cops 'cuffed him, demanded he unlock his phone at airport'

Toilet Duk

And this is also why I've never visited to the Land of the Free and never will.

Toilet Duk

Good to see the TSA is upholding its longstanding policy of recruiting only the brightest and best.

German cybersecurity chief: Anyone have any evidence of Huawei naughtiness?

Toilet Duk

I'd rather have my phone report back to China than to the NSA and GCHQ, thanks.

Thanks to UK peers, coming to a laptop near you in 2019: Age checks for online smut

Toilet Duk

Well this is pointless virtue-signalling from the Lords.

On the subject of VPNs, are any of them actually trustworthy? Seems to me they would all be honeypots, at least if based in any Five Eyes country. Is Nord VPN trustworthy?

Privacy, security fears about ID cards? UK.gov's digital bod has one simple solution: 'Get over it'

Toilet Duk

This will go well. Vast government IT projects have a magnificent track record of coming in on time, on budget and working flawlessly.

They can start warming up a jail cell for me too because I'm not carrying any ID card.

Brits' DNA data sent to military base after 'foreign' hack attacks – report

Toilet Duk

"None of the well-known viral attacks have succeeded in causing any dysfunction in Genomics England," said Chisholm

And what about the ones they did not detect?

As sales slide, virtual reality fans look to a bright, untethered future

Toilet Duk

I've got the PS VR - the price for the headset, camera and games bundle now is pretty amazing and well worth getting. Just seeing people's reactions to the shark attack in VR Worlds is worth the price.

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

Toilet Duk

She allowed them to search her car.

And this is why you never, ever give the police anything more than the minimum legally required level of co-operation. Never trust a cop.

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

Toilet Duk

I work in the cyber-security department of a bank and I'm currently on cyber-weekend overtime watching Netflix and eating chocolate biscuits while nothing happens. I'm getting double-time plus time off in lieu so I'd like to thank the fatties and thickos for making this happen.

China tells Trump to use a Huawei phone to avoid eavesdroppers

Toilet Duk

I'd rather the Chinese eavesdropped on me than the NSA and GCHQ anyway.

Is there any VPN which isn't just a honeypot?

What do Zuck, Sergey, @Jack and Bezos have in common? They don't want encryption broken

Toilet Duk

Re: Hmm

If an incoming government inherits a total surveillance system then it will not relinquish that power. Like Isildur with the ring of power.

Toilet Duk

Is there any VPN which we can trust not to have a backdoor or some other cosy arrangement with government? I would not trust any based in a five-eyes country. I was thinking Nord VPN, any thoughts?

Astroboffins may have found the first exomoon lurking beyond the Solar System

Toilet Duk

Re: Habitability

True. Scientists hold a religious belief (unsupported by evidence) that life began in primordial seas, the composition of which they do not know and which they are unable to reproduce through experimentation.

Irish fella accused of being Silk Road admin 'Libertas' hauled to US

Toilet Duk

Yeah, that'll teach him. How dare he undercut the CIA's profit margins by dealing drugs?

The country which has killed, maimed and displaced millions of people in the Middle East regards everyone in the world as subject to its laws and our subservient governments acquiesce. Good luck getting an American extradited though.

Uncle Sam is shocked, SHOCKED to find dark-web bazaars trading drugs, weapons, etc

Toilet Duk

Yes, how dare they sell drugs on the internet? Only the CIA and Big Pharma is allowed to sell destructive drugs. As for weapons, you would never find the US government doing that.

First A380 flown in anger to be broken up for parts

Toilet Duk

Flew from UK to Hong Kong recently, much preferred the Boeing 777 UK to Dubai to the A380 Dubai to HK. It just seemed more comfortable, roomy, quieter and easier to sleep in.

Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

Toilet Duk

"If you can’t see us coming, you won’t be able to stop us"

Yeah, I'm willing to bet the "stealth" isn't half as effective as advertised unless your enemy is using 1960s Russian radar.

Toilet Duk

Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson said in a statement: “With a game-changing ability to collect crucial intelligence, fight wars and tackle terrorism, these are the most advanced jets in British history.”

Fight terrorism with F-35s, Jesus Christ.

"Terrorism", the catch-all excuse for everything these days, is there nothing it can't justify?

EE seeks guinea pig millennial hipsters for 5G experiments

Toilet Duk

Experimenting on hipsters, eh? When do human trials start?

Russia to Apple: Kill Telegram crypto-chat – or the App Store gets it

Toilet Duk

Ah, "because terrorism", the gift that keeps on giving.

Zuckerberg gets a night off: Much-hyped Euro grilling was all smoke, absolutely no heat

Toilet Duk

The CIA's frontman gets away with it again.

'Computer algo' blamed for 450k UK women failing to receive breast screening invite

Toilet Duk

The plan is working then - defund it, watch it break down, people cry "something must be done", hand it to the private sector as the solution.

Javid's in, Rudd's out: UK Home Sec quits over immigration targets scandal

Toilet Duk

Welcome to Britain. Everything not mandatory is forbidden. Everything not forbidden is mandatory.

Mannequin Skywalker takes high ground on Bezos-backed rocket

Toilet Duk

All these billionaires and their big, huge rockets with massive thrust. What can they be compensating for?

That's no moon... er, that's an asteroid. And it'll be your next and final home, spacefarer

Toilet Duk

Face it - we are NEVER getting off this rock. Space is just too vast and hostile. The environment is already deteriorating. We will die out and take much of the biosphere with us or survive as basically animals. And I'm convinced that's why we see no glimmer of life outside the Earth - when a species reaches the technology level to leave the planet it's already too late. They either trash their planet or wipe themselves out or are wiped out by AIs. Gaia theory. The only way around it is if the system held more than one habitable planet.

France building encrypted messaging app for politicians

Toilet Duk

They should just use a system of one-time pads and a network of motorcycle couriers if they want security.

Guns, audio and eye-tracking: VR nearly ready for prime time

Toilet Duk

No mention of PlayStation VR? I think it's pretty impressive for the price.

Shock poll finds £999 X too expensive for happy iPhone owners

Toilet Duk

I bought a £120 Android cheapo notch-phone (Oukitel U18). It's sitting on the desk here. It's a bit heavy and bulky because it has a two-day battery but it does everything I need perfectly well.

EU aviation agency publishes new drone framework. Hobbyists won't like it

Toilet Duk

Re: Drone makers rush

Serious drones are getting lighter and lighter. My Mavic Pro is pretty tiny yet can fly literally for miles, it's beyond line of sight very quickly indeed.

Worldwide smartphone shipments DOWN for first time ever

Toilet Duk

You can buy a perfectly good smartphone from a Chinese manufacturer you've never heard of for £120 on Banggood, Aliexpress etc. 12% the cost of an IPhone X and 95% as good.

Brexit to better bumpkin broadband, 4G coverage for farmers – Gove

Toilet Duk

How will it benefit the country that farmers can get 10mbs download speed? I only get 1mbps and I live in a city centre and that's enough for Netflix, gaming etc. Don't we subsidise them enough?

And lo! Crypto-coins came unto the holy land. And the wise decreed they must all be taxed

Toilet Duk

Israel fears a currency outside its control? Ah yes, but of course.

When Samsung reveals the S9 at MWC, at least try to act surprised

Toilet Duk

I've ordered the £120 iPhone X knock-off - the Oukitel U18. Don't much care if I break it or it bricks. Took my bricked iPhone 6 plus along to the apple store and the cheerful hipster at the Genius bar thought it was perfectly fine for an expensive phone to just die after three years. Seemed genuinely surprised when I advanced a differing opinion.

UK.gov: Psst. Belgium. Buy these Typhoon fighter jets from us, will you?

Toilet Duk

The RAF is also buying F35-As.

Toilet Duk

Many Belgians don't even care about Belgium and would rather be Dutch/French.

Magic Leap's staggering VR goggle technology just got even better!

Toilet Duk

My Sony PSVR rig is great fun and it's only like £250.

Yorkshire cops have begun using on-the-spot fingerprint scanners

Toilet Duk

The fingerprints are "automatically deleted from the device" after they've been scanned in? I don't believe that for a second. It will be some legalistic use of words - eg they are deleted from the machine AFTER they've been uploaded to a database to be kept for eternity whether you're a criminal or not.

US Senate mulls giving Huawei and ZTE the Kaspersky treatment

Toilet Duk

They'll quite happily use equipment made in the same factories as Huawei products though, not like they make this stuff in 'Murrica is it?

Of course a mystery website attacking city-run broadband was run by an ISP. Of course

Toilet Duk

A city running a vital service for the benefit of the people? Smells like SOCIALISM. Of course it was targeted.

Uber: Ah yeah, we pay women drivers less than men. We can explain!

Toilet Duk

So it boils down to "male drivers work harder, smarter, thus make more money."

Lauri Love judgment: Extradition would be 'oppressive' and breach forum bar

Toilet Duk

Thank God for this. We should not be extraditing our citizens to oppressive regimes such as the USA where he faces draconian punishment out of all proportion to his alleged crimes. He would then find himself in the brutal for-profit US prison system along with literally millions of others, working as a slave for American corporations. Oh, you didn't know they still have slavery in the land of the free?

Apple: iPhone sales are down (but they've never been more lucrative)

Toilet Duk

Ditched my iPhone after my 6 Plus just bricked and my replacement slowed to a crawl. I bought a Xiaomi Redmi Note 4 Android phone for just over £100 on Banggood and it's excellent.

Been bugging the boss for a raise? Now's the time to go into infosec

Toilet Duk

I'm in InfoSec and getting 3.5% this year - ie nothing at all since that happens to be the rate of inflation.

I'll torpedo Tor weirdos, US AG storms: Feds have 'already infiltrated' darknet drug souks

Toilet Duk

Why not arrest the CIA, the biggest drug-trafficker on Earth?

F-35 flight tests are being delayed by onboard software snafus

Toilet Duk

So why is the RAF buying F-35s when it had the perfectly capable Typhoon? Presumably it'd not buying the F-35B?

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