* Posts by Jay Lenovo

322 posts • joined 26 Jan 2018

Page:

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

Jay Lenovo
Holmes

Re: "As old as 100 million years"

If one reads the lost biblical Book of Beyonce, (Fits somewhere after the dinosaur part of Genesis), we find how this occurred.

"And on the umpteenth day, God looked again at the heavens and it was still good. But woman pointed out he hadn't done much with the heavens since the 4th day, and also that he hadn't paid enough attention to the heavens in quite a while."

"So the almighty placed a large ring around an object in the night sky to again demonstrate his love for the heavens."

"Woman again pestered God as to why she hadn't received such a ring? God, in his omnipotent wisdom, recognized that this labor was something Man should be tasked with doing."

Thus the biblical parable "If thou liketh, thou best to put a ring on it"

It’s baaack – Microsoft starts pushing out the Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Jay Lenovo
Alert

Please Play Responsibly

An update lottery of sorts.

Have a gambling problem? 1 (800) xxx-xxxx (Microsoft Customer Support)

Slack to fend off the collaboration competition with... a new logo

Jay Lenovo
Thumb Down

Re: Bland shite

Doesn't it scream "Searchable Log of All Conversation and Knowledge" ???

...or maybe I have it confused with "Intro to Microsoft Paint"

Oracle exec: Open-source vendors locking down licences proves 'they were never really open'

Jay Lenovo
Angel

Games of Owns

So he's suggesting...

OpenSource is like Daenerys Stormborn, and Oracle are the Masters.

...and apparently we've been deceived so back to the slaves' quarters we should go?

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

Jay Lenovo

Re: Puzzled

The moon is still very much what we thought it was, inhospitable.

I don't envy the hoopla of being the first to foster the Moon's first dead visitors.

.

FCC's answer to scandal of AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile US selling people's location data: Burying its head in the ground

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

What's the difference?

The FCC has been affected by the partial US government shutdown – now into its 24th day – and has stopped non-essential services

Like maintaining rules and oversight, but that may have already been suspended long before.

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

Jay Lenovo

Representative Please

"Hospitality" and "robot" are as rewarding, as "customer service call" and "voice automated prompts".

Pleasing people effectively was never quite that simple. Otherwise we'd buy our own robots and stay home.

Royal Bank of Scotland, Natwest fling new bank cards at folks after Ticketmaster hack

Jay Lenovo

We won't be fooled again

Ticketmaster could consider donating tickets. Maybe a "Who" concert?

Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

Jay Lenovo

Sounds like she walked into an Austin "Bezos" Powers photoshoot.

"Look at my Blue Origin space rockets"...Yeah Baby!

Hubble 'scope camera breaks down amid US govt shutdown, forcing boffins to fix it for free

Jay Lenovo
Meh

Somewhere in the middle (does that still exist?)

In the old days, politicians used a concept called compromise.

You didn't get everything you wanted, but most tended to get at least a combo of good and bad. Add a little pork, and just the right number of representatives could be convinced of the greater good.

Unfortunately, now I prefer more pork barrel government. You seemingly can't get 536 modern day ego's working collectively without it.

The growing ultra orthodox party-religions of Republican and Democrat no longer want to share the same country. But everybody needs to eat, so throw out some pork barrels (and I guess the "vegan" alternative) and lets get something done.

Microsoft wins today's buzzword bingo with empowering set of updates to Teams

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Office (Space) 365

Oooh, can't wait to acquire all that Team "Flair"

Just updated Windows 7? Can't access network shares? It isn't just you

Jay Lenovo
Pirate

Re: You must be new here?

Windows updates are like getting regular hospital checkups, but "occasionally" coming home with C. diff.

Please boil any MS Software (via WSUS) about a week before letting it out of the bag.

Microsoft vows to destroy Office, er, offices: Campus to be demolished and rebuilt

Jay Lenovo
Angel

MS Design

The new buildings will have tiles... lots and lots tiles of which you can't be rid of.

Aussie Emergency Warning Network hacked by rank amateurs

Jay Lenovo
Black Helicopters

You're getting hacked, that's worthy of an EMS message

At least the "nice" hacker in Australia notified everyone they were getting hacked.

In contrast, Hawaii's EMS doesn't get hacked, but sends out false messages that missiles will be arriving.

Chinese rover pootles about... on the far side of the friggin' MOON

Jay Lenovo
Paris Hilton

The search continues

China goes to the Far Side and still no evidence of where Gary Larson found his material.

Hands off that Facebook block button, public officials told by judges in First Amendment row

Jay Lenovo

Re: Also facebook

If Zuckerburg managed to hold a government office, hmm maybe.

...But let's not fix one bad problem thing with another.

Mainframe brains-slurper sues IBM for 'age discrim', calls Ginny and biz 'morally bankrupt'

Jay Lenovo
Meh

IBM Fresh Market

If you assume they did and were allowed to age discriminate... Has IBM been any better in developing products since doing so?

Seems like no.

They have all kinds of IP real estate, yet they can only muster to run Sears stores on top of it.

Maybe experienced people do provide value?

You can blame laziness as much as greed for Apple's New Year shock

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

Steve's Mass Appeal

"What they should have been doing was making rational profits and going for market share."

Nope, let's aim for snobby, snobby, overpriced. Mid 90's Apple has returned (-sigh-)

Border guards probe 'suspicious bulge' in man's trousers to find he's packing fluffies

Jay Lenovo
Coat

Border Crossing Rules and Regulations

Trouser Cats: Prohibited

Trouser Snakes: Allowed

Stormy times ahead for IBM-owned Weather Channel app: LA sues over location data slurp

Jay Lenovo
Black Helicopters

Not for Everyone, but always Someone

Internet data pilfering and misuse, an expectation of fail.

After we finally eliminate prostitution, we can make this go away as well.

On the other hand, it does seem to be recession proof and always in demand.

We'd just like it NOT to be a primary flaw of our major companies.

Marriott: Good news. Hackers only took 383 million booking records ... and 5.3m unencrypted passport numbers

Jay Lenovo
Devil

Proactive Reservations

"The biz is also offering to cover a year of identity-theft monitoring service."

Since it takes Marriot four years to uncover such shenanigans...

Can new guests get that free protection NOW, before the new system is inevitably discovered as hacked?

Not much point in giving out life-vests 4 years after the boat sank.

Full frontal vulnerability: Photos can still trick, unlock Android mobes via facial recognition

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Just add some more detail

Maybe if the facial recognition was not just based on your face, but your face with a rarely displayed expression.

"Hey Joe, why are you making that strange face?"

"No worries Sam, that's my unlock face. Just forget you ever saw it."

SpaceX's Crew Dragon shows up at pad 39A, nearly 8 years after the last Shuttle left

Jay Lenovo

What's in a name

Crew Dragon? Like a dragon taking off by shooting fire out its arse?

Or is the crew riding on the dragon's backend, with the head firing down?

Oregon can't stop people from calling themselves engineers, judge rules in Traffic-Light-Math-Gate

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

Overstepping on Word Ownership

As one of the few states with more than one state motto (they must have their reasons), let's add yet another such as:

"Virulent purveyors of language"

or maybe

"With God all things are possible but certainly not engineered, unless a state license has been issued"

Nobody in China wants Apple's eye-wateringly priced iPhones, sighs CEO Tim Cook

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

China is not the Scapegoat

Tim needs to elaborate on why he thought China was going to increase their Apple iPhone consumption, despite:

* An increasingly competitive smartphone landscape

* An Apple price point set at a new all time high

* New features that are rather ho-hum and don't uniquely address any particular Asian demand.

Maybe if China manufactured the product, the multitude would better see the brilliance. Oops, guess that didn't work either.

DXC hit with sueball over layoff steamroller's share price dip

Jay Lenovo

HPE inspired off-shoots

Cutting people to inflate stock value.

Yes, people are the problem. Just missed the right ones.

Boffins manage to keep graphene qubits 'quantum coherent' for all of 55... nanoseconds

Jay Lenovo

Re: 1k qubits ?!?

I believe the feat is that they are using graphene as the primary material. As to why graphene is so much better, they would need to elaborate.

Otherwise IBM's 50 qubit machine maintaining state for 90 microseconds makes this look piddly.

It's a Christmas miracle: Logitech backs down from Harmony home hub API armageddon

Jay Lenovo
Happy

Joy to the World

Listening, reacting to your customer's concerns.

How business should be done.

EU politely asks if China could stop snaffling IP as precondition for doing business

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

Short-sighted Stupidity

Companies go to China:

Stockholders cheer, local workforce depends more on government.

Companies get hijacked from China first polices:

Stockholders demand government involvement, local workforce shares their knowledge of this place called "The Shaft".

Mark Zuckerberg did everything in his power to avoid Facebook becoming the next MySpace – but forgot one crucial detail…

Jay Lenovo

But free is so addictive

No, never thought gifting Facebook with so much free personal information could lead to seedy overlooked flaws. (sarcasm)

Until GDPR, the best we could get was a "Sorry, our security must improve" letter.

Maybe that will begin to change.

A year after Logitech screwed over Harmony users, it, um, screws over Harmony users: Device API killed off

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

A bridge too many

Bricking the devices will certainly make them secure.

While some people will change the locks, Logitech's step 1. is to bulldoze the home.

IBM: Co-Op Insurance talking direct to coding subcontractor helped collapse of £55m IT revamp project

Jay Lenovo

If a company spends £55m, you'd think the result (or lack of) would be pertinent to a business's finances.

Assuming the results were to be revenue nuetral, this was a really expensive case study.

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Bacon, the (edible) fabric of our lives

Why just vend bacon? Bacon works well paired with most anything.

M&M's with 1 slice of Bacon, Coke bottle with 1 slice of Bacon. Personal hygiene product with 1 slice of Bacon.

Bacon isn't everything, it just makes everything... Better

The Palm Palm: The Derringer of smartphones

Jay Lenovo

Re: "useless coin pocket" ?

Based on average use, its like the front flap pocket in men's brief underwear.

It's there, but pretty much no one uses it.

However, shove a palm phone in and ancient lint will have a new friend.

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

Creepy Poacher Types

Cutting off shark fins, rhino horns, elephant tusks, and apparently deer heads while leaving the resulting mess for others.

Being better people, thankfully we don't respond in kind by removing the unlawful parts of their anatomies.

Silent night, social fight: Is Instagram the new Facebook for pro-Trump Russian propagandists?

Jay Lenovo

As I use the "free" media... You realize what you "find" isn't always what you need, but rather what was baited, to catch "you".

Russia definitely isn't the only group with a lure in the water. And if they're using Google+ probably not a very good fisherman.

Ding dong merrily on high. In Berkeley, the bots are singeing: Self-driving college cooler droid goes up in flames

Jay Lenovo

Re: "attributing the incident to human error."

When kiwibots become sentient, this is type of "burning monk" sacrifice is exactly the sort of behavior we might expect.

Hopefully the other bot pictured nearby, didn't get any ideas.

Vitamin Water gets massive publicity for new flavor: Utter BS

Jay Lenovo
Black Helicopters

Re: Gimme I'll take it

I decided rather to abstain from Vitamin Water.

* With 33 grams of sugar in every bottle, both my body and pocketbook are better off.

(Things you can learn on a smartphone)

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

Jay Lenovo

By Comparison

Rather simple and fast California tie breaker.

Florida by comparison, would have taken at least two weeks to tally the dice rolls.

Here's 2018 in a nutshell for you... Russian super robot turns out to be man in robot suit

Jay Lenovo

Adjust the Antenna, Reality just got Fuzzy

Now if you put a Santa Claus in front of children... That's ok, the adults know better.

But a fake robot. Apparently a bridge too far..

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

Jay Lenovo

Ew, ick, stay away

It's the normally inaudible sound analysis that looks to be scarier.

I'd have no idea what that thing was slurping.

A Christmas classic: Cloudera founder asks staff to stay another day

Jay Lenovo

Where the wild things are

"We're actively looking at ways to preserve jobs where it makes business sense to do so"

Where as before we were quite silly, and just hired to hire folk.

No, the ax swings without pity and severance is just a pittance to keep the gore of it all from public view.

Tread carefully, as merger execs are wild creatures.

Fraudster convicted of online banking thefts using… whatever the hell this thing is

Jay Lenovo

Revenge of the 80's

Looks like something a disgruntled Radio Shack employee cooked up.

Huawei exec out of jail, just as US accuses China of Marriott hack

Jay Lenovo

SPY vs SPY

When will the UN come up with the ground rules for state sponsored hacking? They won't.

When you get caught with your pants down, you can't tell everyone to look away, you pull'em up and take it as a lesson learned.

Supernovae may explain mass extinctions of marine animals 2.6 million years ago

Jay Lenovo

Re: Where is everybody?

The search for Intelligent Life?

At the current success rate, alien bacteria would be a great milestone.

Page:

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019