* Posts by Jay Lenovo

164 posts • joined 26 Jan 2018

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Whoa – oh no, Zoho: Domain name no-show deals CRM biz, 40m punters a crushing blow

Jay Lenovo
Devil

Customer Feedback

Wonder if Zoho has anything they'd like to contribute to Tierra's "What People Are Saying About Us" page?

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Microsoft's globally distributed data shack Cosmos DB shoots for sky. Or at least 5 nines

Jay Lenovo

Guaranteed, or receive this great coupon

..Microsoft has put its money where its mouth is with financially backed SLAs.

So, according to the SLA guidelines, if they fail to meet just 2 nines (<99%) for the monthly availability percentage, you at MOST get a 25% service credit.

Is the service credit enough to soothe all ills? You decide

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Bouncing robots land on asteroid 180m miles away amid mission to fetch sample for Earth

Jay Lenovo
Alien

Alien Cookout

Ryugu looks like an old charcoal briquette from the solar system's first barbecue

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HP Ink should cough up $1.5m for bricking printers using unofficial cartridges – lawsuit

Jay Lenovo

Re: Wait, what?

68 cents? A refund of the cost of printing 3-7 color inkjet pages.

If they mail a check via US Mail (50 cents) with the cost and labor to print it out, would there be any amount left to give?

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Enigma message crack honours pioneering Polish codebreakers

Jay Lenovo

Re: Polish contributions

Poland has a much larger story to tell.

The Nazi's execution of the Polish intelligentsia, and the later difficulty of dealing with the iron curtain, made getting and verifying the actual stories difficult.

It seems odd how so much relatively recent history, is still being discovered.

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Flying to Mars will be so rad, dude: Year-long trip may dump 60% lifetime dose of radiation on you

Jay Lenovo

This is a job for the Tardigrade (microscopic water bears, relatively impervious to radiation and the vacuum of space).

All of earth's heros may not be human.

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No, that Sunspot Solar Observatory didn't see aliens. It's far more grim

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Re: The reality is clear

So busy with their heads in the clouds, they didn't notice the child porn streaming on in. Who's gonna clean up this mess? I guess not the janitor.

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Holy macaroni! After months of number-crunching, behold the strongest material in the universe: Nuclear pasta

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Re: Nuclear pasta

This nuclear pasta analogy lacks any salt to be good

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Remember when Apple's FaceTime stopped working years ago? Yeah, that was deliberate

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

Give and Take

...let a digital certificate expire prematurely which broke the video-conferencing service for anyone using version 6 or lower of iOS.

Wow, a built-in Apple controlled self-destruct.

What exactly did your purchase buy? Apparently not any fixed function.

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Nutanix shares briefly wobble over Google server appliance fears

Jay Lenovo

Techie Nonaggression Pact

No worries, they are just in co-petition.

For now....

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Biz! Formerly! Known! As! Yahoo! Settles! Data! Breach! Cases! To! The! Tune! Of! $47m!

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

No really, this stuff was worth billions

Based on the number of affected users, it seems cover-up fines can be quite affordable.

Verizon paid 4.48 billion to own information potentially made public for just 47 mill.

The new owners should demand the fine to be made larger, just to save face.

5
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NUUO, do not want! CCTV webcams can be hacked to spy on you

Jay Lenovo

CCTV?

If they were really closed circuit devices, they have no business on the open internet anyway.

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The internet – not as great as we all thought it was going to be, eh?

Jay Lenovo
Childcatcher

TMI-net

When the internet was an uncommon resource it was special.

Now it's a utility, shared with a majority of the world, with all kinds of intentions.

Shake hands with it's power, but you better wear gloves.

10
1

US Treasury goes after IT shops for funneling cash to North Korea

Jay Lenovo

Park Jin Hyok?

I guess he must be the North Korean version of the Knight Rider....

A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist

6
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Card-stealing code that pwned British Airways, Ticketmaster pops up on more sites via hacked JS

Jay Lenovo
Windows

It was fine, until it wasn't

Web Developer's actions are typical of the Bruce Lee quote:

"“Use only that which works, and take it from any place you can find it.”

While Security Professionals go by the Joseph Stalin quote:

"I trust no one, not even myself"

Good, Cheap, Fast. Good can be such a chameleon.

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You know all those movies you bought from Apple? Um, well, think different: You didn't

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Digital Magic, aaand its gone

The only part of a digital purchase you assuredly can rely upon NOT disappearing, are your bills.

38
1

Microsoft: You don't want to use Edge? Are you sure? Really sure?

Jay Lenovo
Big Brother

Windows 10: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it

Edge's power comes from the fact that it only runs on Windows 10. Really good browsers apparently only work on one OS and only the latest version.

...and Keurig's 2.0 DRM'ed coffee cups should have worked well too.

Pesky customers, not agreeing to what is best.

6
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Has anyone seen REM lately? No, we mean rare earth minerals

Jay Lenovo

Re: long term mind set

Waste is always someone else's problem... until it blows back.

Earth is running out of closets to hide the mess.

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Back up a minute: Veeam database config snafu exposed millions of customer records

Jay Lenovo

Until the next flaw is found

We have now ensured that ALL Veeam databases are secure.

"ALL" is a pretty big word, considering an investigation is still taking place.

5
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Look at me! Phone industry contracts nasty case of 5g-itis

Jay Lenovo
Meh

More speed, ooo..ahhh!

Great, now my "unlimited plan" can reach throttle mode even faster.

6
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Dear America: Want secure elections? Stick to pen and paper for ballots, experts urge

Jay Lenovo

When you have millions of people voting into an anonymous pool, at some point in the counting process you are dependent on a small group of people to keep their hands out of the till.

Inevitably, this is where the security is most susceptible. Put the surveillence camera there.

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Top antivirus tool nuked from macOS App Store – after it phoned browser histories to China

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

App Store with a Soyuz Hole

Maybe Apple's sandbox security considers China's Gobi Desert a valid destination?

8
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Microsoft tells volume customers they can stay on Windows 7... for a bit longer... for a fee

Jay Lenovo
Terminator

Pay You Will

Perhaps you think, you're being treated unfairly?

--Darth Redmond

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Ever wanted to strangle Microsoft? Now Outlook, Skype 'throttle' users amid storm cloud drama

Jay Lenovo
Holmes

Re: Hurricane-grade storms? Not even close.

If the price of gas didn't go up, then Texas didn't have unusual weather.

They might want to review the principles of proper grounding, if lightning was the real cause.

11
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Google skewered in ad sting after Oracle-backed bods turn troll

Jay Lenovo
Unhappy

Re: Meanwhile Google/Alphabet top executives refused to appear in front of Congress....

Even Mark Zuckerberg made an appearance for the greater good.

Googly folk I guess do no evil, speak no evil, admit no evil.

1
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Benchmark smartphone drama: We wouldn't call it cheating, says Huawei, but look, everyone's at it

Jay Lenovo
Angel

App Neutrality

Even though I work in the valley of the shadow of tech, I will trust no benchmark, for bias and big money surrounds me. Only in real world testing, will I take comfort.

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Thunderstruck: Azure Back in Black(out) after High Voltage causes Flick of the Switch

Jay Lenovo
Devil

Whole Lotta Rosie lights on my status panel

The Azure Cloud shaken to the foundation,

while customers got "The Jack".

0
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Microsoft Azure: It's getting hot in here, so shut down all your cores

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

Re: How Does Cloud Work Again?

If the cloud communicates at nearly the speed of light, I imagine the data is getting re-routed through the MS Data Center on Pluto.

It takes light about a half a day to circle back.

A hard day for keeping the nines.

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Quit that job and earn $185k... cleaning up San Francisco's notoriously crappy sidewalks

Jay Lenovo
FAIL

Simple Alternatives?

Ok, so you are at the point that you need to officially hire people to pick-up people poop (a true shovel ready job).

You could have:

* Deployed well positioned port-a-potties

* Deployed the newly conceived French pee boxes

* Offered waste-bags (environmentally friendly type for SanFran ) to pick-up after one's self or your best friend.

* Enforced "littering" laws

* Built a number of public restrooms (public parks, public buildings, why not public porcelain?)

* Given credits to businesses that allow public access to their restrooms.

* Offered a 5 cent deposit for the homeless to recycle their droppings.

It's understandable for people with shovels and cans to follow the parade horses or circus animals, but there is something very uncompassionate about conceding that the streets and walkways are an inevitable repository for human excrement.

0
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VMware 'pressured' hotel to shut down tech event close to VMworld, IGEL sues resort giant

Jay Lenovo
Devil

Re: Not just IT

Lesson learned:

Future IT events will require hiring your own "Roadhouse" type tough guy (Patrick Swayze), to ensure the town boss man doesn't shut you down.

Life's tough at the border (grill)

9
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Russian volcanoes fingered for Earth's largest mass extinction

Jay Lenovo

Re: Time for another one?

...would solve much of the current political problems...

Solving in a very grotesque sense? Crises bring people together only because so many have been sacrificed. Crises also inspire about anarchy and self-serving rogues.

We're probably 10,000% unprepared for an Earth changing event because there's a million more things likely to devastate our immediate lives.

Historic trend of the concerns for the short-lived human.

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Detroit sh*t shifter's operating costs waste away with Oracle's cloud

Jay Lenovo
Holmes

Courtesy flush

The Oracle Cloud:

All seems great, until that initial Poo~Pourri deal runs out.

5
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Give yourselves a pat on the back, top million websites, half of you now use HTTPS

Jay Lenovo
Devil

Uppity web standards

Better sites have trusted certificates. Po' folk browse on port 80

Stop this prejudiced madness.

How about something more useful like "Warning!, You've landed on a Google Service page, all your data will be slurped".

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No, eight characters, some capital letters and numbers is not a good password policy

Jay Lenovo
Flame

If you're having security issues...

Wouldn't it be wiser to cure your bad password problem first, before telling the world specifically which vulnerabilities you are susceptible?

Seeding the use of best practices by fanning the fire I suppose.

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Lawyers sued for impersonating rival firm online to steal clients

Jay Lenovo
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Lawyer Thunderdome!

We've hit a critical mass.

The prey have become so scarce, the predators have turned to cannibalism and/or running for government office.

2
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AI image recognition systems can be tricked by copying and pasting random objects

Jay Lenovo
Coat

New Incognito Window

Jack Hanna's secret ability to avoid Facebook auto-tagging is now uncovered.

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Everybody dance now: Watch this AI code fool friends into thinking you can cut a rug like a pro

Jay Lenovo
Angel

The world's greatest magic show

Finally, real people can become "Dancing Baby".

It might be time to retreat to Walden Pond and ponder the essentials.

Unfortunately, while the modern world got more detailed, our senses didn't and require continual fact checking to operate reliably.

1
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IBM slaps patent on coffee-delivering drones that can read your MIND

Jay Lenovo
Flame

Fade to Black

If the beverage is similar to McDonald's coffee, the extreme heat of the beverage is likely to be delivered like a napalm bombing run.

5
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You want how much?! Israel opts not to renew its Office 365 vows

Jay Lenovo
Joke

Simple Reason: Office 365 is not Kosher

A Jewish year can be 383-386 days during a leap (or pregnant) year.

Israel would need to buy extra coverage, way too costly.

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It liiives! Sorta. Gentle azure glow of Windows XP clocked in Tesco's self-checkouts, no less

Jay Lenovo

Look boss, de plane! de plane!

XP's demise?, Nah still just a fantasy. Those islands of application will stubbornly continue to exist.

Behind the scenes, business will keep XP based solutions alive until the bean counters succumb to nausea.

11
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Big Tech turns saboteur to cripple new California privacy law in private

Jay Lenovo
Stop

Private Piracy, Arrr

"Big California Tech", saving the world from unprofitable data emissions.

16
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Face-PALM: US Patent and Trademark Office database down for 5 days and counting

Jay Lenovo
Facepalm

So many paid alternatives

Will the paper filing fee be refunded later?

Likely this isn't addressed yet because it's contingent on PALM working again ...someday.

Certainly YOUR money has no better place to be.

1
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US voting systems: Full of holes, loaded with pop music, and 'hacked' by an 11-year-old

Jay Lenovo

Dry Erase Results

So why aren't these machines using write once read many (WORM) media?

9
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Brain brainiacs figure out what turns folks into El Reg journos, readers

Jay Lenovo
Meh

Re: Hmmm

Science has always had a fascination with electricity on the body. Even, for the longest time, bringing back the dead.

If you had something in your head constantly buzzing your brain, an additional blast of air in the face might be one straw too many.

Now, if you shove that wire somewhere else, perhaps you'd be more receptive?

1
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Oh, fore putt's sake: Golf org PGA bunkered up by ransomware attack just days before tournament

Jay Lenovo
Devil

No more Green Reading Books, but maybe Threat Management Guides will be allowed

PGA President Paul Levy looks to the IT sponsors for relief.

Sadly they respond, "Tough break, but you're gonna have to play where it lies."

2
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Stress, bad workplace cultures are still driving security folk to drink

Jay Lenovo
Trollface

Re: Whaa?

Alcohol doesn't take up much space. Where as a designated Wellness/Nap/Crying Room takes up valuable office real estate.

Work hard, party hard, or so it goes.

What?...you only get a candy bowl.

Time to raise your game and suffer appropriately.

0
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Should I infect this PC, wonders malware. Let me ask my neural net...

Jay Lenovo
Terminator

Double-Edged Sword of Progress

Skynet isn't there yet, but the IBM team is hard at work to prove it can be done.

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