* Posts by Ima Ballsy

61 posts • joined 26 Jan 2018

Page:

En garde! 'Cyber-war has begun' – and France will hack first, its defence sec declares

Ima Ballsy
Holmes

And .....

Some one will show up with a real TANK of a hack and the Frenchies will throw up their hands and surrender ....

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

I Went ....

To the website indicated, and thought it said "product designed for hands-free BLENDOR orgasms", and I'm thinking OUCH !!!!

I guess I need to go get that second cup of Coffee ....

xHamster reports spike in UK users getting their five-knuckle shuffle on before pr0n age checks

Ima Ballsy
Angel

Wait ....

I have an account there !!

IT wasn't me I swear ....

errr .... on second thought, I DO NOT HAVE AN ACCOUNT THERE !!!

Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

Ima Ballsy
Windows

Eliza anyone ?

Ok, I went here:

http://psych.fullerton.edu/mbirnbaum/psych101/Eliza.htm

Looks like I had better results than El REg:

The D in SystemD stands for Dammmit... Security holes found in much-adored Linux toolkit

Ima Ballsy
Mushroom

"Security holes found in much-adored Linux toolkit"

My YANKIE red arse!!!!!

Biggest POS I've ever had the 30 years of Service to Work on ....

It has no FUBARED a OpenSuse server of mine after the last upgrade.

Time to go back to Slack .....

Mainframe brains-slurper sues IBM for 'age discrim', calls Ginny and biz 'morally bankrupt'

Ima Ballsy
Unhappy

Re: "knowledge that cheaper millennials lacked"

True story:

Years ago (around 2008 time frame), I was working on a self project to create a ISAM multi value database (thing nosql type ). I was working thru all the b-tree theories and was debating whether or not to have leaf node records or external block store records.

I decided to post my results and ask for anyone that wanted to help, on some forums I belonged to.

One of the millennial's posted back

"why do you want to do something so ancient as ISAM / b-tree, you should write the project in SQL !"

AT that point I decided that they AIN'T teaching theory any more in school ...

Boffins manage to keep graphene qubits 'quantum coherent' for all of 55... nanoseconds

Ima Ballsy
Windows

Welll .....

Is your cat in a box and is it dead or alive ?

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

Ima Ballsy
Devil

Along the same vein ...

Time 1991, had just been laid off due to restructuring (ie Retail Company had to find budget money to bring EDS in)

8 of us let go out of 30 or so.

The remaining crew were had gotten out of being 'on call" because "we are female and it's a bad part of town" or "We are working on the new systems and we shoudln't have to work on the old programs" ..etc..etc.blah blah blah. Guess who remained on the on-call list- yup the 8 of us that got laid off.

Anyway, the layoffs occurred at 4PM on a Friday.

On following Tuesday morning at 2 AM got a call from operations "We got an error on xyz job, you need to come in and fix it"

Me: no can do, been laid off.

Them: Well I guess we can call Joe then.

ME: Nope, he got laid off too.

Them: What should we do?

Me: Call the bosses' boss and tell them no one is on call anymore ...

Looking back I should have done the standard SOP :

"HEY, restore all the backups from 5PM yesterday and I will be in to fix things", and then

rolled over and went back asleep and when they called again, apologize - " oh I must have dozed off' and kept the ruse up till the remaining crew

showed up in the morning - but I didn't.

Live and learn I guess ....

Phew, galactic accident helps boffins explain dark matter riddle

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Not Found ....

I Left some DARK MATTER for them to find this morning.

Sadly, the missus made me flush the loo ....

Dine crime: Chippy sells deep fried Xmas dinner

Ima Ballsy
Holmes

Re: Bacon makes everything better

Hell, you can cook Styrofoam in Bacon and it tastes good !!!

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

Ima Ballsy
Coat

I Hope ....

our federal government doesn't try to hog in on the action. Otherwise, there will a lot pork in the regulations .....

He, He, more gassy whoppers: Toshiba spreads 12TB, 14TB drives across gaming and NAS disks

Ima Ballsy

and the operators therein to speak in squeaky voices

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

Ima Ballsy
Holmes

I see ....

Opportunity knocking !!! One with nipples and micro blogs and advertising and $$$$$.

Shit in 3 or four someone will by my creation for BIIIILIONS, I say ...

You think you're hot bit: Seagate tests 16TB HAMR disk drive

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Maybe PUMP the 3.5 up with Cialis, Viagra & Levitra ?

Ima Ballsy
Coat

New Tag for WD ..

QUOTE: "Western Digital is using an alternative MAMR (Microwave-Assisted Magnetic Recording) to get to the smaller bit sizes needed for greater-than 16TB capacity levels. ®"

WD, bringing you the ability to store your files, pop your corn and toast your nuts all in one device!!

Tape vendors feel the cold, clammy hand of AWS on their shoulders. Behind them grins the Glacier Deep Archive

Ima Ballsy
Angel

Hot Damn ....

A cheap place to stash all my P0rn now !!!!

Amazon's self-driving AI robo-car – THE TRUTH (it's a few inches in size)

Ima Ballsy
Devil

LOL ....

Quote:

"It also teased a machine-learning inference chip called Inferentia, and a small radio-controlled car called DeepRacer for executing autonomous driving models in the real-world and terrifying pets."

Damn, I got a CAT I would love to use this to chase it with (as long as the Missus isn't around)

.. Amazon here I come ...

RIP Bill Godbout: Cali wildfire claims the life of master maverick of microcomputers

Ima Ballsy
Pint

Another Icon ....

Gessss ..... I recognize the names and feel giddy I remembered those days ...

Everyone in the industry were much more pleasant and shared their knowledge, kinda like early GPL.

Except for one guy, Bill Gates I thinks was his name, pissing and moaning to the editors of Mini - Micro Magazine about how hobbyist were sharing his Basic language amoungst themselves ...

Cheeky cheesemaker fails to copyright how things taste

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Well ...

Seems this is a bit cheesy at best, but something sure smells fishy after all ...

Bill Gates joined on stage by jar of poop as he confesses deep love for talking about toilets

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Well that

sums it up - Microsoft has gone down the crapper .....

NO WAIT - they did that a long time ago ......

Haha, good times: Larry Ellison regales noobs about when Oracle staff almost didn't get paid

Ima Ballsy
Flame

In other words:

Quote:

"The Oracle founder also warned his disciples to be wary of new technology that would offer a new solution to their customers' problems.

"The old solution to customers' problems may no longer be the best solution. When you see that, it's an opportunity – or a threat," he was reported to have said."

Translation:

If the bastards have found better solutions, at a lower cost, you best put the FEAR of god in them so our revenue stream will not be impacted ...

Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

Ima Ballsy
Trollface

WTF?

Has she been tested for STD (spiritual transmitted diseases) ?

Sorry friends, I'm afraid I just can't quite afford the Bitcoin to stop that vid from leaking everywhere

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Pissed ....

I'm REALLY pissed, I haven't gotten on of those.

I suppose they took one look at the little fella and died laughing !

The D in Systemd stands for 'Dammmmit!' A nasty DHCPv6 packet can pwn a vulnerable Linux box

Ima Ballsy
Unhappy

Re: Meh

Systemd - The demon spawn of hell from Red Hack .....

'We broke a few things and will continue to do so... in a careful way' – Oracle's Reinhold on Java renovation work

Ima Ballsy
Windows

Says it All ...

"Language is still free, it's the support that will cost you plenty"

It's Oracle after all .... Gotta buy a new racing yacht

Rookie almost wipes customer's entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Arggggg ....

Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt .... Ain't no fun.

Any *nix admin worth their salt has done this ONCE at least in their lifetime ...

Don't get THAT personal, says personalised cards firm Moonpig. Dick pics. They mean dick pics

Ima Ballsy
Childcatcher

Welll ......

Seems they are just being pricks about the whole thing !

Cisco sneaks hardcoded secret root backdoor into vid surveillance kit

Ima Ballsy
Devil

STFU !!!!

No way, CISCO has a BUG in it's software ?!?!?!

Man cuffed for testing fruit with bum cheek pre-purchase

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

WHat a Bummer ....

At Least he didn't try to pork a cantaloupe !

First Boeing 777 (aged 24) makes its last flight – to a museum

Ima Ballsy

Re: Feeling old yet?

Sigh .... Grew up a Military Brat and remember flying on DC-3's , Connie's and then the 707's as we traversed the world....

Princely five years in US big house for Nigerian biz email scammer

Ima Ballsy
Angel

Maybe they shoulda

... used these folks to handle the money transfer ...]

https://www.419eater.com/

Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Re: that's the point where things start to go downhill.

Ok, add

Pole / Hole ....

Neutron star crash in a galaxy far, far... far away spews 'faster than light' radio signal jets at Earth

Ima Ballsy
Holmes

Urmmmmm ....

I put instant coffee in a microwave once, and went back in time ,,,,,, so did I go faster than the speed of light ?

Thunderstruck: Azure Back in Black(out) after High Voltage causes Flick of the Switch

Ima Ballsy
IT Angle

I'm confused .....

Isn't the WHOLE cloud thing thing suppose to be UPTIME of 99.99999 and your system runs all over the world. If one location goes down, then the others take over.

Now tell me, isn't THAT suppose to be how it works ?

Detroit sh*t shifter's operating costs waste away with Oracle's cloud

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Awww .....

That's cause the $hitters full .....

Now you can tell someone to literally go f--k themselves over the internet: Remote-control mock-cock patent dies

Ima Ballsy
Big Brother

Re: "Industry site SexTechLaw"?

"Note that the US is a major consumer of the stuff."

Yeah, unlike the rest of the world we just can't go out to our LOCAL sex/BSDM corner shop and pick up what we need.

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Re: Unencumbered by patents

From their WebSite ....

Features

Implementations in C#, Javascript, and other popular languages.

Support for popular hardware brands, such as Kiiroo, Lovense, Erostek, and more.

Can support Bluetooth, USB, Serial, and Audio controlled toys.

Cross-platform libraries available for Desktop and Mobile.

Open Source with Permissive License (BSD 3-Clause)

The PUNS on this can be be endless .....

Oracle Database 18: Now in downloadable Linux flavour

Ima Ballsy
Linux

Re: "Oh, and Windows, but cool kids don't use that"

Because the COOL and SMART have switched to PostgreSql

If only 3D desktop printers could 3D print sales! Units crash in Q1

Ima Ballsy
Paris Hilton

Not Reeady for prime time ...

Well, until they can print mixed materials and I can print my AI enable Sex bots, I'm not goin in on one any time soon!

Google offers to leave robocallers hanging on the telephone

Ima Ballsy
Devil

Re: "If the AI detects that a machine is calling you and you don't want to speak to the machine ..."

Fiber as in Metamucil ?

Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

Ima Ballsy
Alert

How about ....

I'm gonna GIT you Sucka !!!

Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

Ima Ballsy
Holmes

Maybe they .....

get some slogans from here :

https://www.netjeff.com/humor/item.cgi?file=CondomSlogans

Brit drone biz Sensat notches up 29km remote-control flight

Ima Ballsy
Windows

Well .....

I am really getting tire of these articles. They seem to DRONE on and on ....

Fingered: Pants-down 'poo jogger' alleged to be corp exec

Ima Ballsy
Facepalm

Ahhh .....

This was just a shitty article ....

Now my Thursday is crap ....

No way I can WIPE that image out of my mind ......

Don't read this, Oracle... It's the rise of the open-source data strategies

Ima Ballsy
Linux

Re: 'Nuff Said

We have a 10GB Postgresql server running on a VM with 16GB ram and 4 cores allocated.

BUT .... We have 20 such instance all on the same VM server and no lag or problems what so ever.

Migrated from Informix BTW ...

Blighty's super-duper F-35B fighter jets are due to arrive in a few weeks

Ima Ballsy
Thumb Up

Re: "Starved of hydro-electric power

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2325708/Dambusters-models-Scale-models-built-Watford-used-test-air-raid.html

Void Linux gave itself to the void, Korora needs a long siesta – life is hard for small distros

Ima Ballsy
Happy

You forgot the Grandaddy

of all Distros' - Slackware - Still use it and it has come a long way ...

Take-off crash 'n' burn didn't kill the Concorde, it was just too bloody expensive to maintain

Ima Ballsy
Happy

Ahh ......

I still remember the day it flew over Jackson, Mississippi USA. What a wonderful sight ...

There's just one month left 'til the big day: May 25... but don't panic!

Ima Ballsy
Happy

Bahhh ......

You Brits will get no sympathy from me ... unless of course you shoot me with your Point of View Gun first ...

Revenge pornography ban tramples free speech, law tossed out – where else but Texas!

Ima Ballsy
Terminator

Ah Tyler ....

And Marshall and Longview ... only places in the world where a deranged sociopath felon could get a favorable ruling on :

"Your Honour, I really needed to buy those AK's and AR's and 9MM for my comfort Items ..."

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