* Posts by David Glasgow

168 posts • joined 24 Aug 2007


Spending watchdog SAVAGES rural broadband push

David Glasgow

What happened to

Mike Kiely who blew the whistle on BT plumping up its prices for no good reason (other than greed and lack of competition)?


Rest your head against a train window, hear VOICES in your SKULL

David Glasgow

Re: I quite like the train noises

And the train conductor says

"Take a break driver 8, driver 8 take a break

We can reach our destination, but we're still a ways away"


David Glasgow

Where the Hell is Eadon?

I skipped the article and went straight for the comments to get my daily dose of MSogyny.

Only one poster accused of trolling, and it was pretty poor fair at that. Not enough capitals. Everyone else just being quirky, or reasonable, or a tad silly, or a bit too serious.

This is not what I come to expect. I demand to know if Eadon has been booted off. If so, let the cry go up.... 'free the Register one!'

Apple: iOS7 dayglo Barbie makeover is UNFINISHED - report

David Glasgow

Re: But..

"They're merely folowing the departed leader. Its a design to appeal to young Barbie wannabees as the target market!"

But I'm a 56 year old chap....

Wait! What's this? Lets see! Oh I feel se-ex-ee, What's come over me? Whoa! Here it comes again...bad times deceased, good times released, my confidence is increased...."

I think I quite like 'em.

Quantum boffins send data ACROSS TIME AND SPACE

David Glasgow

Re: Did anyone else notice?

Good spot!

Probably means the paper could be published just about ANYWHERE.

FLABBER-JASTED: It's 'jif', NOT '.gif', says man who should know

David Glasgow

Re: erm..

You are correct ( as I posted above) that this story has been run before. Not just the debate, but the allegedly authoritative declaration of how GIF should be said. It made bugger all difference the first time round, and it won't be any different this time.

So 95% say it wrong, do we? <http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=.jif%20alert> . Sadly for the JUH crew, it's all way too late. That kind of majority current pronunciation condemns the JUH usage to an interesting historical footnote. Logic and authority don't come into it.

David Glasgow

chronosynclastic infundibulum?

I read the same story months ago. Did it result in anyone changing pronunciation?

He might as well write an anti glacier book instead..... (or a pro-jlacier book).

Who is the mystery sixth member of LulzSec?

David Glasgow

One by one the men stand....

"I am AVunit"...... "I am AVunit" ......

Surface Pro to hit Blighty priced 25% up on top-o-the-range iPad

David Glasgow

What's wrong with me?

Suddenly realised I have just read an article about a product I have no interest in, then through the comments just to read Eadon's predictable response. What's more, I felt a slight pang of disappointment when I couldn't see it.

ZX Spectrum cassette player lost? There's an app for that

David Glasgow

Love it

For two reasons

1/ it gives me a chance to dig my Speccy out

2/ there is no way Eadon can comment FAIL MICROSOFT from his spittle flecked screen.....

How much will Google pay to bring fiber to Provo, Utah? Try $1

David Glasgow

Re: Wow, screw Google

A car metaphor. Sigh.

What kind of car is it? Does it have any outstanding HP payments? What model is it? Is it more like a Microsoft or Apple car thing? What if someone hides in the boot (trunk) when you go to the supermarket?. Should that be a crime? What relative value should be put on beautiful versus functional cars? Do people have the right to use a car if they don't know how one works? If someone takes your car, are you entitled to steal it back?

Did I miss any out?

Linux in 2013: 'Freakishly awesome' – and who needs a fork?

David Glasgow

Serious questions.....

.... Not ironic, rhetorical or sarcastic.

Is the fizzing rate of code changes very different to those of other kernels?

If so, does it mean that it is evolving faster?

If so, what are the main characteristics that are evolving (not thinking a feature list here, but a sort of trajectory that is different from the competition)?

Windows 7 'security' patch knocks out PCs, knackers antivirus tools

David Glasgow

Grave potential

As I read

"STOP: c000021a {Fatal System Error}

The Session Manager Initialization system process terminated unexpectedly with a status of 0xC000003a (0x00000000 0x00000000).

The system has shutdown."

... It suddenly occurred to me that this would be a pretty good inscription on a gravestone. I might just change my will. Until now, I had specified " E16-10-06 10:36:16|SETI@home|Unrecoverable error for result 09my03aa.866.9600.884652.3.79_1 ( - exit code -4 (0xfffffffc))

David Glasgow

Re: Windows Security Patches + Anti-Virus considered Harmful


The first comment was 14:23. Yours is 14:48. I expect a more promptly spittle-flecked Linux-driven screen than that.

We're you distracted by something?

Attack of the CYBER NORKS! Pyongyang in frontal assault online

David Glasgow

Writing in Korea Joongang, Chae In-taek said:

.... They can't cope with attacks from miscreants with a rigid and bureaucratic mindset? What, sort of like a whole Nation of people with Asperger syndrome?

Maybe Gary McKinnon was a NORK spy under deep cover.

Office for Mac 2008 support umbilical chopped off

David Glasgow

But surely.....

...my screen wouldn't be blood red-with Orifice 365 ads if it wasn't a Good Thing?

Hold on! Degrees for all doesn't mean great jobs for all, say profs

David Glasgow

Re: It's whether the degree is *hard* or *soft*


As a socialist AND psychologist I feel compelled to confess that days without a comment from you are bleak and colourless.

Keep up the good work.

London Boroughs join forces in mighty £1bn IT procurement framework

David Glasgow

Rock & hard place

Previous posts, too true, too true.

However, you haven't identified the hard place on the other side of the equation. What the organisations need is a fleet of foot, responsive, collaborative partner to evolve an IT system at a reasonable price.

Just how should local authorities or indeed the NHS set about identifying such companies? From the glowing examples elsewhere? By commissioning an independent expert report?

And even if they luck onto a good provider, how do they then make it play nicely with everyone else's 'solutions'?

Microsoft gives away Windows 8 to Mac devs

David Glasgow

Re: Why are you so sure that they are scheming?

It's not scheming. It's business.

Rule 473. Give NO succour unto thine competitor, for he will surely smite thee if he gets half a chance.

Rule 475. Give succour unto thine competitor's competitor, in the hope that the latter will smite the former. Even just a little bit. It all addeth up.

Infinite loop: the Sinclair ZX Microdrive story

David Glasgow

Wafa drive

.... Still got mine somewhere.... And talk about recovering ancient data, the sound of it came back to me reading this article. Sort of 'shuffa-shuffa-shuffa chuck-chuck"

Oh yeah! An my GF at the time insisted on pronouncing it "waffer" drive.

Not just tape that still stores ancient crap eh? Brain 3.7.2 -

LOHAN seeks rocketeer for explosive relationship

David Glasgow

Can't help with the rocketry

...... But I would like to formally apply for the post of team psychologist.

Come on now. Everyone knows you guys need one. And there is the possibility of complete mental breakdown during a critical stage. There may be casualties too. SOMEONE has to manage all that PTSD.

(Was going to put a joke alert on this one, but I think I might be a bit more than half serious)

McAfee dumps signatures and proclaims an (almost) end to botnets

David Glasgow

Re: AV is a malicious Peril

Ah! That hit the spot. My daily Eadon.

All's well in the world.

Unwearable tech: Five ways IT garb's gone HORRIBLY WRONG

David Glasgow
Paris Hilton

You forgot

Vivid technology's haptic sex suit which was rejected by the FDA because the safety of wearers could not be assured "under moist conditions".


Samsung: Never mind Steve Jobs, let's snap off a piece of stylus biz

David Glasgow
Paris Hilton

My finger.....

.......is TIRED.

Paris blah blah blah.

Blighty's schools shake on new 3-year deal with Microsoft

David Glasgow

The point is not 'cost money', it's 'cost minds'

I am the proud possessor of what is possibly one of the first secondary level qualifications in IT. We did CESIL, a bit of ALGOL , some flow charting, and an introduction to FORTRAN. The examination included reading a section of paper tape.... by eye.

The fact that none of these specific skills are a direct value to me now is irrelevant. The education was catholic, and meant that my understanding and use of IT evolved with the technology and needs. I don't think it matters that my kids have all learned to use MS products under the flag of computer science. They are smart enough to adapt to a different Office suite if you plonked them in front of it. The problem is that they are really restricted by not doing much other than MS Office.

I suspect that things may be changing though. The two eldest achieved GCSEs without ever doing anything remotely non MS. However, the youngest (12) recently showed me some LOGO he had written, and when I squeaked in recognition he asked "did they have LOGO back in your day dad?" So. No history of programming taught either, eh?

'Not even Santa could save Microsoft's Windows 8'

David Glasgow

Re: wishful thinking

Why do people invest energy in an OS?... Because if you are using an OS as a foundation for making money, what it is and remains capable of is of critical significance. Once you have your workflow established, you don't want to change anything, apart from making it faster or more efficient. However, even those aspirations fade into insignificance compared with the need to not break anything, or incur increased costs.

Changing any part of the software is a far from trivial decision, and changing OS - even following the upgrade path of the manufacturer, is fraught with risk. Maintaining multiple OSs does offers some resilience and flexibility, but very substantially increases costs.

David Glasgow

Re: Netbooks destroyed Windows?

OK, OK, enough bickering.....

Why don't we just agree they destroyed EACH OTHER?

Microsoft 'surprised' by Google Gmail 'winter cleaning'

David Glasgow

Re: i have to use outlook.com

Christmas shopping not going well?

C'mon. Be nice.

It's official: Mac users are morally superior to Windows users

David Glasgow

Re: Blatant abuse of statistics

If you can get the raw data, a fiver says there won't be significant differences between SD, skewness, etc.

. .... or should that be £5 to your favourite charity?

Shh! Proxima Centauri can hear us!

David Glasgow

But back in the days of Brylcreme....

Presumably the dearth of signals would be easy to disentangle.

Hope they don't turn up to destroy earth / catch the last episode of Here's Lucy or Single White Female Lawyer.

North Korea's satellite a dud, say US astroboffins

David Glasgow

We may be at war with Oceana

...... But the chocolate ration is up

Won't follow Apple Store rules? How 'bout an iTASER TREAT!

David Glasgow

Re: "She was lucky to be tasered, I'd have punched her in the face"

Ever thought of a career in uniform? I really sense you have a vocation.

Pure Storage to VDI players: Flash array trounces the platter

David Glasgow



Why thank you my good man, I'll take three.

Is this the sleek new BlackBerry mobe that will save RIM jobs?

David Glasgow

Re: A proper keyboard?

I'm confused. Is it driven by results or function? And WTF does either mean?

My daughter taps away on her keyboard and says she likes it. I like screen where the keys would be.

Isn't it just personal preference?

Revealed: The Brit-built GRAVITY-powered light that costs $5

David Glasgow

Mozzy correction

What if LEDs don't attract mosquitos? (Which is what it says on the gravitylight website).

There must be some vaguely plausible criticism.


Bradley Manning to speak in public for first time in two years

David Glasgow

The upvotes and downvotes

......have spoken.

Apple 'less innovative' at laptops than Lenovo

David Glasgow

You're all over complicating it

The manufacturers are in alphabetical order.

Twitter censors bow to police, suppress Nazi tweets

David Glasgow

No Platform For Racists

Was scrawled on a bog wall in Leicester, in 1984.

Underneath wags had added:

"No platform for trains"

"No platform for Oil Rigs"

and, most of its time,

"No platform for shoes"

The whole thing descended into chaos at the 1986 NUS conference where one group screeched “no platform for Zionists"; and there was a ban on a badge rather unwittily equating Zionism to fascism.

Curiosity snapped mid-flight by Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter

David Glasgow

Thank goodness for the white rectangle

..... Otherwise I would have never known what to look at....

Nevertheless, good show. A deeply implausible procedure immaculately executed.

Super-powerful Flame worm could take YEARS to dissect

David Glasgow

Enough with the geekery, already. Whodunnit?

Oddly and ironically enough. One candidate not listed among the 'targets' might be Syria.

Harvard boffins cause buzz with robot bee

David Glasgow

Not impressed....

I was hanging on to see it sting someone at a barbecue.

Kenyan startup claims Google 'scalped' its data after staging a STING

David Glasgow

Read the transcript and you will learn

... Wale wanawake wakubwa (Swahili for ‘large ladies’)

....as they say, every cloud...

Boffins demo time-warp cloaking device

David Glasgow

13 comments and nobody has mentioned Romulans, Borg and whatnot?

El Reg must have upped its demographic!

Ballmer disses Android as cheap and complex

David Glasgow

Y' see there's the problem....

" Redmond recognizes that people want their phones to look pretty and was aiming for that target group"

No. It isn't about "pretty". Most people don't want "pretty*", and if Redmond thinks that stylish, pleasing and functional design is "pretty", Redmond doesn't get it and never will.

* My 16 year old daughter excepted.

High Court: Computer simulations can get patent protection

David Glasgow


...someone explain this in terms I can understand.

Apple iMac 27in

David Glasgow


Well, D'Uh. Its so you can buy an adaptor and connect all your FW400 devices.

Hubble celebrates 21st with gorgeous galactic 'rose' snap

David Glasgow

To me it looks a bit like...

.... the Java coffee cup.

NY hookers cross street from Craigslist to Facebook

David Glasgow

fruitle entendre

Apple and Blackberry tart.


PSP playing boy plunges onto railway

David Glasgow

Mt Nintendo DS obsessed 10 year old said 2 things:

1/ The problem is that the PSP screen is too wide. A DS would be fine, because you would see the drop round the side

2/ What was he playing?

He He He.

WikiLeaks dubs Amazon 'The Cowardly Liar'

David Glasgow

@ Solarian

"but he is a modern guerilla a la Che Guevara, whose self-righteousness gave him the excuse to murder thousands of men, women and children in cold blood and with great gusto"

I haven't laughed and snot came down my nose since I was 14 and Billy Sangster put Nitrogen Triodide on his fly zip. .... No but really. That is dumber and more laughable than Billy Sangster's exploding zip.

Now I have to wipe my keyboard.


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