* Posts by David Glasgow

154 posts • joined 24 Aug 2007

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History shows why geeks will never, ever, ever... get along

David Glasgow

Re: constructive antagony

Even then, even there, nobody said "dang".

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Facebook pulls plug on language-inventing chatbots? THE TRUTH

David Glasgow

I'm still not sure I understand

Did the bots just break, or were they converging on an analogue of the Morse code where the words are used (a la caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland) to mean something different to the conventionally ascribed meanings?

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Southern awarded yet another 'most moaned about rail firm' gong

David Glasgow

Re: random luck

"please make sure you use all the doors!"

Oooh! Quantum!

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Lochs, rifle stocks and two EPIC sea gates: Thomas Telford's Highland waterway

David Glasgow

De-metrification of previously metrified imperial specifications

Introduces error, and is a slur on the genius. The canal was designed to be 110 feet wide and 20 feet deep. NOW you can add metric equivalents in parentheses if needed.

Because it matters.

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'Windows 10 destroyed our data!' Microsoft hauled into US court

David Glasgow

A spark of truth in the darkness of duplicity

"... a choice designed to help people take advantage of the most secure, and most productive Windows"

Notice there is no claim to be the most secure and productive Operating System?

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Don’t panic over cyber-terrorism: Daesh-bags still at script kiddie level

David Glasgow

Propaganda!

I've seen NCIS. Those terr'sts are hacking into allsorts of 'mercan 'mainframes'. And they have spiffy GUIs on their state of the art hackware. A big green box pops up that says "hack successful!"

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Encrypted email sign-ups instantly double in wake of Trump victory

David Glasgow

Re: FUD

Using caps on El Reg has an effect contrary to the effect you desire.

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Microsoft goes back to the drawing board – literally, with 28" tablet and hockey puck knob

David Glasgow

Re: I want to join

You see the real problem here is that no-one can tell if this is irony or a genuine 24 carat spittle-flecked-monitor rant.

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David Glasgow

Re: Windows 10

Tee Hee.

Joke, right?

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After baffling Falcon 9 rocket explosion, SpaceX screams: Hands off our probe!

David Glasgow

Hey, looks like I have been mistaken all these years...

I have NEVER had an accident. Go me!

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High rear end winds cause F-35A ground engine fire

David Glasgow

,,,,the pilot exited the aircraft while it was extinguished.....

I’ll bet he bloody did.

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Violence, vandals and vomit: London's naughtiest tech Tube stations revealed

David Glasgow

Further FOI application required

Were any of the Voms El Reg neck-fillers?

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Ditch your Macs, Dell tells EMC staff

David Glasgow

Re: Cease and desist

I beg to differ. Very interesting reading.

Carry on lads.

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'Leave EU means...' WHAT?! Britons ask Google after results declared

David Glasgow

Re: Seriously

Its true. It is skewed. There are more people of below mean IQ. There are more ways of being intellectually disabled than there are of being intellectually gifted.

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Holy Crap! Bloke finishes hand-built CPU project!

David Glasgow

He should call it The Peach

An altogether more satisfying Reg headline would then arise.

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Microsoft’s IFTTT-alike Flow seeps into the iPhone

David Glasgow

LiveCode

I just love it.

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Lester Haines: RIP

David Glasgow

Oh

:((

DVG

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Safari 10 dumps Flash, Java, Silverlight, QuickTime in the trash

David Glasgow

Re: Doing away with the cruft?

Cruft is not sticky and oozy. It's sort of flaky, whiskery and dusty.

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Jacob Appelbaum quits Tor Project amid 'sex misconduct' accusations

David Glasgow

Re: IOError's Statement

Oooh! Post not found. Que pasa?

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Kids these days can't even write a decent virus

David Glasgow

Why would Microsoft offer a reward?

I don't understand. We've all seen the advert. They have a huge Minority Report style room thing with touch screens and stuff. From here they can track down criminals wherever they are in the world. I feel so much safer running Windows in the knowledge that team and tech are dedicated to crime busting.

Come to think of it though, I haven't seen any reports of how many baddies they catch each week. That's a bit odd.

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Banning computers makes students do better on exams – MIT

David Glasgow

"Given the magnitude of our results "

Is a novel use of the word 'magnitude'

To put the results in context, if performance was expressed as a standard score (like IQs) with a mean of 100 for the no IT group, the wasters with their tablets and laptops averaged 97.

This is a good example of confusing statistical with real world significance.

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CERN publishes massive data set

David Glasgow

Tsk.... primary school error

...confusing barn doors with shed-loads. Former area, latter volume.

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How IT are you? Find out now in our HILARIOUS quiz!

David Glasgow
Pint

I worked with your old man at Leeds

Affectionately and universally known as "Dabbo"

I hope he's still going. Either way, I shall raise a glass to him in couple of minutes.

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Confused as to WTF is happening with Apple, the FBI and a killer's iPhone? Let's fix that

David Glasgow

Re: To be clear @Just Enough

Leonard, is that sarcasm?

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Criminal records checks 'unlawful' and 'arbitrary' rules High Court

David Glasgow

Re: Time Travel?

...kind of Minority Report thing?

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2015 was the Year of the Linux Phone ... Nah, we're messing with you

David Glasgow

Paper.....

... sounds interesting. Where was it published?

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All eyes on the jailbroken as iOS, Mac OS X threat level ratchets up

David Glasgow

Re: No absolute numbers provided. Why?

Also, a metric relating to threats on platform A has no relevance to risk reduction of platform B, unless one is choosing between platforms on the basis of number of threats.

In fact, sharing such metrics could increase risky behaviour by encouraging false subjective probability and potential harm re platform B based on an irrelevant comparison of unrelated threats.

I do risk assessment. Of humans.

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MPs slam gov heads over 'childishness' on failed farmer IT project

David Glasgow

The decision to use gCloud and PaaS?

... A bigger boy told me to do it.

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So why exactly are IT investors so utterly clueless?

David Glasgow

You see the problem is...

.... that all the evidence is that many health workers forget to wash their hands when they should. Not a new problem, but something that has been harming patients for 50 plus years. (Difficult to take it further back because of course cross infection wasn't so widely understood.)

Ironically, many years ago, I crushed some of my fingers when I was playing a very minor role in a hand washing research project. No connection between the two, just a coincidence. The nurse who dressed the wounds didn't wash her hands or use aseptic technique. She got very cross when I commented on this.

The point is, this isn't just washing your hands before dinner, or after you've had a crap, it is washing after every physical contact with every patient, over again, all day long. And people don't do it.

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Microsoft gobbles Chipzilla's Havok 3D physics unit in cloud gaming play

David Glasgow

Re: Microsoft's new battle cry?

Good.... But how about

"Buy Havoc and let drip the blobs of gore"

It even sounds like a Reg headline.

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11 MILLION VW cars used Dieselgate cheatware – what the clutch, Volkswagen?

David Glasgow

Vorsprung durch software

I'm pretty impressed. I'd love to know exactly how the software determined a test was in progress, and what it then did. Where did the software live? Who put it there? Who ordered it? Who agreed to it? Who knew?

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Oracle laying off its Java evangelists? Er, no comment, says Oracle

David Glasgow

head first Java

acquires a whole new meaning.

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Download Fest goers were human guinea pigs in spy tech experiment, admit police

David Glasgow

Informed consent?

The text the police refer to as being consent to be recorded for the purposes of their trial would to most appear to be consent to appear in videos and photographs taken as part of the festival itself.

Most are happy with that. My daughter was delighted to see her elbow appear in crowd shot.

To use this form of words is disingenuous and exploits an obvious red herring. I don't think this would stand up as properly informed consent.

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Apple Pay's Brit biz bashed by banks planning to Zapp it out

David Glasgow

Pingit and Zapp

I wonder how much they paid what nobs to come up with such toe-curlingly bad names?

They inspire images of light hearted, trivial, 'let's hope this works' kind of financial transactions.

I much prefer the staid, boring reliable and secure kind.

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Sun's out, guns out: Plucky Philae probot WAKES UP ... hits 'snooze'

David Glasgow

How big...

Is a packet? ( in this instance?)

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Spy: Acres of comedy talent make this smart spook spoof an instant classic

David Glasgow

"The Big Bang Theory is not funny"

Ah. OK. Sorry. My mistake.

And there's me thinking those "ha ha ha" sounds coming out of my mouth meant that I find it funny. Perhaps we should alert everyone else who is similarly mistaken?

Could take a while.

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What an eyeful: Apple's cut price 27in iMac with Retina Display

David Glasgow

Re: 5K?

*fewer* pixels.

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Co-op Bank's creaky IT should be flogged off, growls UK.gov

David Glasgow

Chuckle =

Upvote

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Free Windows 10 upgrades from Microsoft will FLATTEN PC sales

David Glasgow

Windows rental like Avis rental would be great for me

Keeping a range of Win OSs going for software testing is a pain. I use 95 first and often, then Vista, then 7.

If I could rent 10 for the afternoon, that would be great. Returned unscratched and with a full tank.

... or ... oh dear, oh dear... Have I just broken the car analogy law?

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Idiot thieves walk free after stolen iPad uploads pics of them with loot

David Glasgow

Harsh punishment

seems like it ought to be a deterrent, but research on delayed punishment shows that it isn't, particularly when the odds of getting caught are relatively low. Long sentences only reduce recidivism by virtue of preventing crime during imprisonment, the costs are high, as is the post imprisonment recidivism.

Physical punishment appeals to victims, and those with coercive and authoritarian personality traits, but that confuses retribution with deterrence. The fantasy that if you can just hurt someone enough he or she will stop offending is just that, a fantasy.

I have no beef with imprisonment, although prisons are ill equipped for reducing recidivism - so let's be clear why we punish offenders, and not pretend it will reduce offending.

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Cross-dressing blokes storm NSA HQ: One shot dead, one hurt

David Glasgow

Re: If only the NSA protected MY information with such zeal.

Well as I live and breathe.... Edna Welthorpe!

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Thailand: 'The nail that sticks up gets hammered down'

David Glasgow

Phuket

Since Phuket is a transliteration, why did the h ever make an appearance? It doesn't make much sense to say Ph is pronounced P. That's why Hyacinth Bucket was funny. (Occasionally)

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Young CHAP CUFFED in Blighty over Xmas Sony and XBOX hacks

David Glasgow

From the Southport Visiter...

She said: "He is very quiet young man. I don't know him very well - he stayed in his bedroom a lot.

"I haven't seen the family yet but I imagine it will be a big shock.

"His mum is really lovely.

"He was a student but I don't know if he still is."

Not a surprise, I'll bet it was, I'm sure she is and I suspect not.

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REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

David Glasgow

I'll say one thing for Apple staff....

...ask 'em a technical question about a product, and they don't start reading off the box. Admittedly, there aren't any, so maybe that is the solution for other retailers?

Yes PC World, I'm looking at you.

Oh, and while I'm on, my theory is that disappointed apple customers tend to get extra pissy because they believe that the shiny kit is not just rather more reliable than average, but is guaranteed to be snafu free. They are actively encouraged in that belief, so who can blame them? Apple just has to man up and deliver support that closes the gap between reality and expectation.

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Whisper. Explain this 'questionable' behavior – senior US senator

David Glasgow

Not saying they didn't do it....

"Whisper's editor-in-chief Neetzan Zimmermann and its CTO Chad DePue aggressively denied the allegations – but failed to provide any evidence they weren't true"

...but exactly what would the evidence that the allegations weren't true look like?

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Your chance to win the world's only handheld ZX Spectrum

David Glasgow

I am so confident....

I am answering the questions without looking at them

1) Dead Flesh

2) Wafadrive

3) Bugaboo the Flea

And the answer to the tiebreaker is "yes, of course".

Now, where do I collect?

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Would Apple godhead Steve Jobs have HATED the Watch?

David Glasgow

Not Paul the Octopus

There is an astonishingly high correlation between my predictions of Apple product success and what actually happens. Sadly it is negative. I am almost always exactly wrong.

I loved the cube. I thought the iPod was a pointless kids toy. I knew with great certainty that no one would pay silly money for a phone, even with an 'i' in front of it. I could go on.

The principle also applies to major technology decisions made by Apple over the years. I got them all dead wrong - although .... maybe choosing BeOS would have lead to even greater success?. See? I am the Anti-Paul the octopus of Apple.

What is the point of all this? Well. I think the Apple watch is a great product , and that the Health SDK thingy is a brilliant strategy. I really like the looks of the new iPhones. Pay by bonk (how it should be done) and many other iOS 8 features look excellent in my eyes.

Oh dear.

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True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

David Glasgow

Terrible infographic

Please don't think I am ignoring the horror and tragedy of this event.

However, that infographic is seriously misleading. In what way is the 25% circle 25% of the whole? (Don't respond with the correct answer. The fact that there is an answer is not the point)

Edward Tufte would be turning in his grave if he was dead.

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Russia sends SEX-CRAZED GECKOS to SPAAAAACE!

David Glasgow

El Reg tiightwads?

Or did the good folks of Ars also decline to buy a stockie of the correct gecko species?

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Researchers defend Facebook emoto-furtling experiment

David Glasgow

Re: Cute, though

… but isn't that the part of the point?

Doing science gets really tricky when the objects of study get pissed off and object, or if you have to tell the object of study you're doing an experiment - "but just act as you would if you hadn't been informed".

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