* Posts by onefang

1576 posts • joined 22 Dec 2017

Apple hands €14.3bn in back taxes to reluctant Ireland

onefang

If Ireland doesn't want this €14.3bn, I'll be happy to take it off their hands. For a small fee.

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Revealed: The billionaire baron who’ll ride Elon’s thrusting erection to the Moon and back

onefang

"So it'll either carry 100 people and the hardware to keep them alive, or just the hardware to keep them alive. Still in high level design phase?"

You missed an option, it could just carry the 100 people. They'll just have to hold their breath until they get to Mars, and maybe carry a Mars Bar in a pocket, in case they get hungry.

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onefang
Coat

Re: I watched the broadcast

I dunno, musky nipples just smells bad to me.

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onefang
Coat

Shirley it should be named Heart of Fucking Gold?

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Who ate all the PII? Not the blockchain, thankfully

onefang

There's another way of keeping PII off any blockchain, don't put it there in the first place. Simples.

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Biz! Formerly! Known! As! Yahoo! Settles! Data! Breach! Cases! To! The! Tune! Of! $47m!

onefang

Re: Is it me?

That's why they change their names, the stink stays associated with the old name. But this is an entirely different branding, er I mean company, so no stink.

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onefang

Re: Altaba?

"This is actually not Yahoo. This is a company to which Yahoo used to belong, before it was sold to Verizon."

There goes my plan to suggest it should be A!taba.

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Tick-tock, tick-tock. Oh, that's just the sound of compromised logins waiting to ruin your day

onefang

Re: Every time I see an article like this

That's become a staple of commentards on these articles. It's too late to lock that staple, er stable, the horse has already bolted, likely coz someone applied a battery to their sensitive bits.

I'm not so sure any of the above is correct.

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onefang

Re: Optional

"The second issue is that I wouldn't be able to be certain if the fingers were cut off by themselves as part of the log-in, or by criminals trying to defeat my system."

It's early, I've not had brekky yet, or I would have thought of this on my first response.

Have the users smear a one time code onto the a nearby wall in the photo with the blood from their freshly cut off finger / toe. Their will be two codes, one represents "Some criminal cut of my finger / toe.", the other "Everything is fine, send pizza / finger food." (depending on how hungry they are).

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onefang

Re: Optional

"First of all it would limit the number of possible log-ins because they'd run out of fingers to type with (and worse, it would be fewer than ten, because as the number of fingers is reduced, their typing would diminish - long before they actually run out)."

Start with their toeprints, and work up to their fingerprints. Has the advantage of lasting longer, and they can continue to type through most of it. Hospitals collect footprints of new born babies as identification, so it's a proven method.

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onefang
Coat

Re: Optional

You are correct, that is totally cracked. Must be some fine crack you get in your neck of the woods.

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Git it girl! Academy tries to tempt women into coding with free course

onefang

"And before we know it, teaching "IT" will be back to learning to powderpoint, werd and eggsell."

FTFY

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US govt concedes that you can indeed f**k Nazis online: Domain-name swear ban lifted

onefang

Re: Bottom hidden by fog

So is it now a Four Mile Bottom, or an Eight Mile Bottom?

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onefang

George Carlin also has a sequel to his Seven dirty words rant. It's just as funny.

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Euro bureaucrats tie up .eu in red tape to stop Brexit Brits snatching back their web domains

onefang

"Australia has a more reasonable approach if you have a trademark registered in Australia then you can have an Australian tld."

Been a while since I looked at the Aussie rules, but I think that only applies to .com.au, the other .au ones have different rules. Fairly sure you can't get trademark.gov.au for example, unless you are an actual government body. I seem to recall the Aussie authorities where contemplating opening up the rules a bit, so you could get trademark.au, but don't think that's possible right now. Someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

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onefang

Re: Well that's the end of the .eu domain

"If someone wants a .de domain, it's because they are invested in reaching German internet users; likewise .uk and the United Kingdom."

As the last few posts have proved, the other reason for going with a particular TLD is coz it forms some sort of clever, or not so clever, word play. I sometimes wa.de through a bunch of these, looking for a cool domain name that wont make me go "y.uk".

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How an augmented reality tourist guide tried to break my balls

onefang

Re: "I had a meeting in Norwich (someone has to)."

"Perhaps he meant that his balls were of recent descent?"

I suspect Dabbsy's balls dropped some time ago.

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onefang

Re: Customer Feedback

"carefully analyse exactly what the tourists are looking at in close detail in order to enhance the customer expereince...."

So Dabsy's testicles are about to have an enhanced customer experience? Does his wife know? Will El Reg cover it as business expenses?

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onefang
Coat

Sounds like your holiday was just a complete balls up.

I'll get my coat, it's the one with the thick Kevlar patches in the front at crotch level.

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A basement of broken kit, zero budget – now get the team running

onefang

"Let me be very clear, if anyone says there is no budget some one in the chain of command usually more than one is trying to give there boss a blow job"

Or charities that run on donations and grants.

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onefang

Re: I had a sort of similar experience

"you can't legally fire someone because they're black, but you can legally fire someone because they wear their hair in a ponytail."

It's what I have been saying for some time. The bigots can't discriminate based on the old traditional reasons, being the wrong colour, the wrong religion, or the wrong gender. So now they are grasping at the straws they can discriminate against, fashion. Ponytails, not wearing a suit, being barefoot, a male having long fingernails. Though some of those end up being "the wrong gender", coz you are the wrong gender to have a pony tail, long fingernails, or to get away with not wearing a business suit.

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onefang

Re: HMSO

My very first paying job. After having done a weeks work experience at the local government computer centre, they hired three of us during the school holidays. Our task was to work from the short spec handed us, write COBOL routines to validate particular input fields. Not a particular onerous task, and like someone mentioned above, I got curious about the various scripting languages available on the system, and automated it. So I generally had my days work finished in the first hour, and spent the rest of the time writing games on their hardware.

As for automating PHBs, I think the wrong question is being asked, how do you automate away a PHB? Simply automating their jobs leaves them with more time to cause more damage.

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The internet – not as great as we all thought it was going to be, eh?

onefang

"As this is a very small sample set compared to the millions of people who use the internet."

I suspect the number of people who use the Internet might be closer to billions than millions.

I have no idea why someone downvoted you, have an upvote.

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onefang

These days, when everyone has their first smartphone surgically grafted in place of their umbilical cord at birth, the poor have no choice but to only have mobile, they can't afford mobile and fixed broadband.

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onefang

Re: "Presumably this is the pool for all future jurors."

Might have been referencing the fact that jurors are not allowed to access the Internet, coz otherwise they might stumble across information that relates to the case that has not been washed through the legal system. This will be much easier for people that have never used the Internet in the first place.

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Kronos crims go retro, Apple builds cop portal, Swiss cheesed over Russian hack bid, etc

onefang

Or it might be a way to take control of your own Intel Management Engine, and either kill it completely, or install your own operating system on it.

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onefang

"Hopefully those cops can track down the crooks charging $1,500 for a phone."

I don't think they have to search far once they are on the Apple police portal to find those crooks.

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Security procedures are good – follow them and you get to keep your job

onefang

Re: Wireshark is a risky app?

"Unlike the others on that list, it's open source"

"PDF converters" can also be open source, unless that's the name of a specific closed source package. Open Office works OK for that task.

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Redis does a Python, crushes 'offensive' master, slave code terms

onefang

Re: No masters!

"The only person I've got to know well into that sort thing, she, the sub, was definitely in charge and it was her masters job to keep her satisfied."

The sub has all the power really, coz the sub gives the gift of submission to the Dom, and the sub can take it away again. That's basically what a safe word is for, "Stop doing that nasty thing I previously gave you permission to do, and stop it right now.".

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onefang

Re: A silly issue, distracting from real work

'I choose "fu" and "bar", so instead of a master/slave relationship, we would have a fu/bar relationship.'

So one is Fucked Up, and the other is Beyond All Repair. What can possibly go wrong?

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onefang

"So really we can justify removing any word that causes pain anguish or suffering, hu Microsoft?"

Is it the micro, or the soft that causes you so much anguish?

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onefang

Re: Makes me glad I'm old, accomplished,

For database systems, surely it's Tyrell Corporation / replicant.

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You'll never guess what you can do once you steal a laptop, reflash the BIOS, and reboot it

onefang

Re: The Cold Shoulder?

I thought I provided one yesterday?

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onefang

Re: Again,

"When I am finished for the day I simply drive a large nail through the battery compartment of my laptop which consumes the whole assembly with fire and renders the laptop uncompromisable overnight."

As a bonus, no need to turn on the heater during cold nights. Takes a long time to boot in the morning though, walk to the nearest computer store, buy new laptop, walk to where ever your offsite backups are stored, bare metal restore, walk back home, reboot. Could get expensive, I hope you have a cheap source of suitable large nails.

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onefang

Re: Again.. How many people turn their machine off?

"The other being a nastygram from the BSA that was quite costly."

"The British Shakesphere Association are real bastards."

To sue, or not to sue?

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onefang
FAIL

Re: Again,

"Their advice was, if a computer gets compromised and it has UEFI, shred it."

So much for being more secure.

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onefang

Re: Sociopathic

"What would the BOFH do?"

Similar to that bit you quoted - smacking the laptop owner with a clue-by-four until they learn better security practices.

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onefang

Re: Again,

"How many people turn their machine off?"

I do. Or rather I don't use any sleep or hibernation modes in anything. On the other hand, I don't like laptops much, but I do use a couple that belong to others regularly, and I turn them off when I'm done.

I'm wondering why they didn't tell Linux and BSD people about this, only Apple, Intel, and Microsoft? Even AMD was left out in the cold (pun intended). Of those couple of laptops I mentioned, one is Linux only, the other dual boots Linux and Windows.

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Lenovo Thinkpad X280: Choosing a light luggable isn't so easy

onefang

Re: Plenty of X220s on eBay

"You can't ever make a US keyboard feel like a UK one, no matter how many stickers you use or what remapping tools. :P"

The only way I ever end up getting a Dvorak keyboard is to swap keytops around. Makes for a rather lumpy keyboard. Tried the stickers, they tend to come off after a while. Happy Hacker used to provide a Dvorak version, until just before I ordered mine.

When I tried getting a Happy Hacker keyboard, you couldn't buy them in Australia. One of the overseas suppliers we tried refused to sell it to us, due to RoHS, which restricted things in Europe. They had seen "Australia", and thought "Austria".

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Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

onefang
Boffin

Re: "Consultation"

'why put the classification and reporter on the "listing"'

'WE ARE TECHIES - WE WANT INFORMATION, EFFICIENTLY.'

One of the problems is we are asking for different things. Go back over the comments in all three articles on this current change, and you'll find people asking for the classification and reporter that you are wondering why it's there, and some asking for that info to not be there.

One way of making all of us techies happy might be to provide a public API, we can write our own queries to present the info in which ever way we like. Now THAT might be innovation in a tech news site, the user editable profile might include -

First name

Last name

Forum user name

Email

Front page SQL

Front page HTML template

Forums SQL

Forums HTML template

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onefang

Re: "some of us consider 10's and 20's to be loose change. GBP that is."

"For the last sodding time - WE HAVEN'T LEFT THE EU YET!"

I'm afraid it wont be the last sodding time, until you actually leave the EU.

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Berkeley bio-boffins' butt-blasting belly-bothering batt-teria generates electricity

onefang

Re: Next time I get the runs

So you'll be charging your iPhone from green Apple iSplatters?

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onefang

Re: I am not a battery

Using humans body heat for electricity seems like a very inefficient way to generate power. Was The Matrix coded by Microsoft?

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onefang

I always wondered how the human batteries in The Matrix worked. Now we know.

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Microsoft accidentally let encrypted Windows 10 out into the world

onefang

Re: 19H1

"Apparently it isn't just me and I need to read the comments more carefully"

The idea that 19H1 is a codename for a virus seems to be contagious.

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Don't put the 'd' and second 'i' in IoT: How to secure devices in your biz – belt and braces

onefang
Alert

"even with a minimal set of tightly configured, rigorously controlled systems, you can never guarantee absolute security."

Cut off all USB sockets / WiFi / network devices etc, wire in the keyboard and mouse, use VGA (coz modern monitor connectors have bi directional out of band protocols), lock it in small locked room with no windows and with armed guards outside. Allow one user at a time, always accompanied by three heavily armed BOFHs, and the PFY does all the typing as instructed by the user, while the BOFHs watch everything very closely.

OK, you are correct. You'd have to turn it off completely as well, and fill the room with concrete. Then maybe, maybe, you can guarantee absolute security, perhaps.

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New MeX-Files: The curious case of an evacuated US solar lab, the FBI – and bananas conspiracy theories

onefang

Re: I can reveal

"I have been using a tennis racket to kill them but they keep sending more.

Bug spray helps to clog their engine intakes after a while they crash."

I've always said physics works better than chemistry for killing bug.. er I mean aliens. Hit 'em with a shoe, the tennis racket technique is full of large holes. Their chemists will eventually concoct an antidote to the bug spray.

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onefang

If it was solar flares, you'd think we would have noticed after a week.

I, for one, welcome our new spotty faced sun overlords.

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Facebook can't root out fake news and hate talk, but – oh look – it has software to catch bugs

onefang
Thumb Up

"If SkyNet is born in facebook's systems, then either it will delete itself or kill us all out of compassion."

I wonder how many likes it'll get from the other AIs on FB when it kills us all?

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onefang

What can possibly go wrong?

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