* Posts by onefang

885 posts • joined 22 Dec 2017

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Intel chip flaw: Math unit may spill crypto secrets to apps – modern Linux, Windows, BSDs immune

onefang

Re: Bah!

"Interesting that only one in five commentards can tell when another is taking the piss."

When reading El Reg, I start from the assumption that commentards are taking the piss.

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What's all the C Plus Fuss? Bjarne Stroustrup warns of dangerous future plans for his C++

onefang

Re: C++ vs C

"The world already has Perl as a write-only language. It doesn't need another one."

The world already has several write only languages, you left out APL and Whitespace. I think there is a few more to.

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onefang

"If they want an extended version with new features give it new name."

Hmm, C+=2, ++C, D (Oops, taken already), CPLusPLus (from BCPL, the grand daddy of C++), CRAP++, I could go on...

Though given my above declaration for hating all languages beginning with P, continuing the BCPL -> B -> C tradition and calling it P will just get right up my nose.

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onefang

Re: Actually, there's more...

"Sounds like they used an agile approach to warship construction."

Coz when you try to build a warship under the waterfall model, it sinks very quickly.

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onefang

"You can't honestly expect to be able to use a language without learning the syntax."

Half the time I can.

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onefang

Re: Design by committee

"Me too. I still consider templates, and the STL, to be a bit of an abomination and ignore that whole mess to the greatest degree that I can."

That I think is one of the major problems with C++, it's such a huge language that everyone uses only a sub set of it, coz that's the bit they can understand. Except everyone uses a different subset, making it hard to understand other peoples code.

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onefang

Re: I am scared of the pressure to add [...] features to address immediate needs and fashions

"Note I hate Python (though I have to write it) and am secretly rather fond of Perl (which at least has variable scoping rules which don't make me want to sandpaper my fingers off): I'm not trying to support either language."

I personally have an unreasonable hatred of any language beginning with the letter P, and I include Ruby as a dishonourable member of that club.

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Developer’s code worked, but not in the right century

onefang
Coat

Re: Date format history - somewhere?

"the twelfth day of September in the fourth year of the reign of our Sovereign Lord James ye second by the grace of God England Scotland France & Ireland King defender of the faith &c Annoq Dom one thousand six hundred eighty eight "

Obviously they didn't have space issues when trying to squeeze that onto computers.

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onefang

Re: timestamp is a date format

"You'll see files with yyyymmdd encoded in the file name"

I used a version number and YYYYMMDD as part of the file name for updates once, client had me change it to DDMMYYYY so they could understand it.

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onefang

Re: No standard for epochs - @katrinab

"In 20 years time will there be anything outside of museums still using 32-bit Unix time?"

In 20 years time I would not be surprised that a certain embedded 32 bit device I'm responsible for is still in use. In 19 years time, remind me to bring that up with the client.

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onefang

Re: Because computer dates are numbers but real dates aren't

"J.K. Rowling was born 31 July 1965 so that's fine but what goes in the died field? 'Not yet' which is different from 'unknown'."

I bet she's really happy about that to.

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Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

onefang

"Brute force: if it doesn't work, you're not using enough of it."

Brute force and ignorance, you left out the ignorance. Which fits perfectly well in your statement.

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onefang

Re: Where did you get that $20 padlock?

"Our back door key opened her back door."

Had the same thing when our family visited relatives in a different state back in the '60s. When we arrived, they where not home, so someone tried our key in their door, and it opened. Cue large grins on all of us kids, coz the relos lived above the lolly shop they ran.

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onefang
Childcatcher

Re: Stable door ... bolting horse...

"(also curious if you could open this lock by performing a gentle interrogation of it's IC using a blowtorch. Tried and tested method for getting something to give up it's secrets, and in this case, battery expansion may cause the back to pop off.)"

That there is a 'Elf&Safety issue for your average thief, what if the battery catches fire and explodes? Should be made illegal, wont someone think of the thieves!

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onefang

Re: the temptation of an open door with something valuable behind it

That's why I hid my valuables deep inside that horse-manure.

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onefang

Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

"No frikkin' lasers?"

I think you have attack dogs confused with attack goldfish, frikkin' lasers are an aquatic animal weapon. Laser guided weapons might be an option, but that might get the attack cats involved, things could get messy.

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onefang

Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

"how do these differ from 24x7 mutts?"

They last longer.

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onefang

Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

An attack dog is like an attack helicopter, it's armed to the teeth with machine guns and rocket launchers.

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onefang
Joke

It's not a lock I would pick.

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BOFH: Got that syncing feeling, hm? I've looked at your computer and the Outlook isn't great

onefang

Re: Careful what you wish for

As promised, I changed it to a downvote.

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onefang

Re: See Under Soldering Irons

OUCH!

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onefang

Re: Careful what you wish for

Maybe if you badger the vulture, you'll get your badger badge.

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onefang
Happy

Re: Careful what you wish for

I don't think downvotes actually count for much. Upvotes, sticking around, and posting is what earns you your badges. I'm well on track for skipping straight over the bronze badge and getting silver by Christmas. It'll be El Regs Christmas present to me.

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onefang

Re: There must be a mole among us

"it's just as likely to get more downvotes than any single post in the entire history of El Reg as everyone downvotes it just for a laugh"

I've upvoted you, but if I notice lots and lots and lots of downvotes, then I reserve the right to jump on that bandwagon and change mine to a downvote. Careful what you wish for.

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onefang

Extra points if you wave a desoldering iron at the motherboard.

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onefang

Re: A small question

"My advice is, avoid elevators and windows."

I try to avoid Windows, but sometimes people pay me to code / sysadmin the things. One of these days I'll go ahead with my threat of "Yeah I normally charge $X, but triple that for Windows". Though since I'm now moving into semi retirement, I might just get a "I don't do Windows." t-shirt made and wear it to job interviews.

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onefang

Re: WTF just happened

It might be an old message, but I bet they are still just as kinky. I wonder if they sometimes use that cattle prod on themselves?

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onefang

Re: Human deviousness

Perhaps the downvote were for your baseball bat having a female name? I always figured they were kinda male, but I'm no sports fan, so what do I know?

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Devuan ships second stable cut of its systemd-free Linux

onefang

Re: systemd-free?

"Oh that sounds like fun. I'll bring the marshmallows!"

That'll leave a bad taste in the mouth though.

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User spent 20 minutes trying to move mouse cursor, without success

onefang
Boffin

Re: Trackball can be worse....

"What has kvm got to do with pointing devices? I thought it stood for kernel virtual machine."

In this context KVM stands for Keyboard, Video, Mouse, it's a box that switches one keyboard, monitor, and mouse between multiple computers. So the M has a lot to do with pointing devices.

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onefang

Re: Trackball can be worse....

Some people will get one of them removed, and the other installed. I guess it's also possible to simply have the missing one installed, for those that want the complete set. On the other hand, being a hermaphrodite isn't usually something you require medical attention for.

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onefang

Re: good times...

Then you know which cat to thank for the thoughtful present of their personal fur, .. er I mean blame.

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onefang

Re: Not too long ago

A friend of mine, long ago in the days of dial up, couldn't get her shiny new university computer account to work, so she asked me to have a look. So we sat down at her computer, she fired up the software, showing me it's complete failure to work, I reached out slowly and dramatically, then pressed the break key. The thing burst into life.

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onefang

Re: Training the trainer

I've mentioned this some time ago, but it fits here, so time to trot this little anecdote out once more.

Many decades ago, during a period of unemployment, the government decided it was a good idea to fund one year of a two year computer course. Despite the fact that I had lots of experience as a computer programmer.

One of the subjects was "Desktop Computing", basically how to use Windows / Word / etc. It was well known amongst the faculty that I was an experienced computer professional. On the first day of this subject, before the teacher started doing the actual teaching, and while every one else was getting settled, she took me aside and asked "Can you teach me how to use a mouse please?".

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onefang

Re: Training the trainer

"To this day, I have no idea how long the professor kept clicking close"

Until the computer got bored and decided it was a good time to update and reboot.

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onefang

I'd say to ask your cat, but you said it was a Genius mouse, it probably moved out to study at university.

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onefang

Re: Not Millennials!

"Millenials don't exist"

Damn, half the people living in my building just vanished. I wont miss the drunk or the unsocial bike guy, but the others where perfectly OK people.

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onefang

Re: Keyboard ecosystems

"Hopefully I won't make the same mistake again;"

A place I used to work at, one of the company owners made that mistake, spilling their drink, on their laptop. Sometime after their laptop was replaced, they made the same mistake again.

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onefang

Re: Speaking of which,

Buy a decent mouse that isn't designed to be as unserviceable as possible.

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Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

onefang

Re: "Stick to the OS GUI's way of doing things."

Commodore published an "AMIGA User Interface Style Guide" in 1991. My annotated copy is sitting on my desk right now. It was rather good.

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Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

onefang
Boffin

Re: One of those sounds like a computer error

I used to work on the guts of ATMs here in Australia over two decades ago. Dunno about other brands of ATM equipment, but the ones I worked on did have fancy stuff for detecting the types of notes going in and out. All manner of checks. I know that sort of thing still exists in the ATMs I use today. When you hear the machine making the usual sounds it makes while it counts your money, then makes a kinda grinding sound, and does the counting sound once more, then you know it has detected something wrong, dumped the cash it was trying to give you, and tried again.

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Bank of England to set new standards for when IT goes bad

onefang

Fence it is then. Pleased to meet you, how's the Earth gravity treating you?

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onefang

Banks keep your money in the cloud? Yet another reason why I don't leave money in the bank. I only have a bank account coz the government insists all payments go through it.

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onefang

Re: Hmmm?

Are you feeling OK amanfromMars 1? You almost made sense. I was forced to upvote you.

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Microsoft says Windows 10 April update is fit for business rollout

onefang

'a twenty per “reduction in system stability issues”'

I think you left out the units there El Reg. Or maybe this is a new El Reg unit, you just haven't come up with a name for it yet?

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onefang

Re: Wait

"Microsoft said Windows 10 is now “approaching 700 million monthly active devices”

The bit that gets me in that quote is the word "monthly". Are Microsoft thinking aloud about monthly Windows subscriptions?

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Creepy software knows what you are about to do... to that poor salad

onefang

Re: In the mean time on our planet

"Food availability is widely held to be a political problem,1 and it will likely be some time before AI is of much help in solving those."

I think AI might get to the point where it can fully replace a politician long before it can fully replace any ordinary human. I've seen the documentary Idiocracy, looks like we are trying to meet AI half way.

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onefang

Re: Heck, I can do better than this

Yeah, that does seem rather low "accuracy".

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onefang

"AI will plan our lives in to the future and CGI can create the video feed. The human race can commit mass suicide any way it wishes"

Considering the way humans seem to be heading towards mass suicide via several means, I suspect that plan is well under way already.

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Astroboffins spot planets swimming in the mists of forming stars

onefang

"Earth-mass planets are too small in mass and they won't be able to clear its orbit."

So like Pluto, Earth shouldn't be classified as a planet.

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