* Posts by mr-slappy

14 posts • joined 27 Nov 2017

Artificial Intelligence: You know it isn't real, yeah?

mr-slappy

It's Just Pattern Recognition

It's not AI - it can't be because we don't even understand what intelligence is in humans, never mind in machines.

It's not Machine Learning, because we don't really understand what learning is in humans either, never mind in machines. (I'm speaking as a school governor who spends a lot of time with teachers, many of whom are excellent, a few not so much. It's really complicated. If you could distill the essence of a really good teacher someone would have done it by now.)

It's just advanced pattern recognition, operating from very large but inevitably biased and flawed data sets.

Dratted hipster UX designers stole my corporate app

mr-slappy

The Design of Everyday Things

Upvoted for the book reference. Everyone who works in IT should be required to read and ingest Norman's book.

If you've ever tried to pull open a glass door that has a handle that you actually have to push will know exactly where he is coming from.

Tedious Service Bulletin: No prizes for guessing which UK bank's services are DOWN for business users

mr-slappy

Re: Calling Watson!

You forgot "the security and privacy of our customers' data is our utmost concern" and "your call is very important to us" and "we are currently experiencing unprecedented call volumes" and and and...

Office 365 enjoys good old-fashioned Thursday wobble as email teeters over in Europe

mr-slappy

Re: And this is why

8. You can lose control of where the data physically resides. If it's personally-identifiable data relating to citizens of various countries (Singapore, Switzerland etc), and has moved out of those countries. you may well find yourselves in regulatory hot water.

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know

mr-slappy

Cow orker

How does one ork a cow? Is this a euphemism or a real thing?

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

mr-slappy

Still Cracks Me Up

| there was some process on the planet that the scientists failed to account for. And it turned out to be pretty impressive winds

"And will this wind... be so mighty... as to lay low... the mountains of the Earth?"

https://youtu.be/-hJQ18S6aag

(apologies if the URL is wrong, I typed it in by hand)

'It's like they took a rug and covered it up': Flight booking web app used by scores of airlines still vuln to attack – claim

mr-slappy
Joke

--- getting in a machine scanning him/ her down to the pubs...

Is nowhere safe from these nefarious machines? Can I not even have a quick pint at my local without being scanned?

Brit hacker hired by Liberian telco to nobble rival now behind bars

mr-slappy

Daniel Kaye?

Sounds like a bit of a Walter Mitty character

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

mr-slappy

Re: took the day off

And midwives. (As the husband of a former nurse and midwife, from my experience many women go into labour during the night. And that stuff just can't wait...)

Former headteacher fined £700 after dumping old pupil data on server at new school

mr-slappy

IANAL but I am a school governor and I can assure you that he is unlikely to ever get a senior leadership job in teaching again.

As part of standard school recruitment practices (known as Safer Recruitment) every candidate undergoes a background check, including a DBS which would bring up his record.

Given the circumstances of his offence it's unlikely he would even be called for an interview.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea

mr-slappy

The King of Vegetables

What?? The Brussels sprout is the King of Vegetables. I’m sure my family would back me up on this one.

Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

mr-slappy
Headmaster

Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

"A pair (male and female) of these is as effective as two 24x7x365 guards armed with submachine guns"

Assuming your units are hours, 24 x 7 x 365 is 7 years. Do they get itchy after that time?

If you won't use your brain our machine will use it for you, Nissan tells drivers

mr-slappy

Black (rear-view) Mirror

Is Charlie Brooker writing Nissan's press releases now?

10 years of the Kindle and the curious incident of a dog in the day-time

mr-slappy

Re: One good reason for the Kindle...

No, it doesn't. I share royalties of about 10% of the cover price with my co-author, irrespective of the format. Most (half?) of the royalties for a physical book go to the bookshop, for Kindle presumably that's Amazon.

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019