* Posts by Insert sadsack pun here

66 posts • joined 21 Nov 2017


Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats

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Re: All the usual ooptions

"Shoot them, trap them, scare them..."

...they're waffly versatile?

NHS England digital boss in hot water over 'puff piece' written about her future employer

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"Over your lifetime, you will probably pay more to the NHS than you get out of it"

I fucking hope that will be the case over my lifetime, as it will mean I haven't got very sick. I'd be happy never to see the inside of a hospital ever again.

Lawyers' secure email network goes down, firm says it'll take 2 weeks to restore

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Re: Down for 2 weeks - WTF?

1) CJSM isn't operated by lawyers, for obvious reasons

2) the vast majority of lawyers using CJSM won't be paid by the hour. Either they'll be salaried employees or they'll be paid a (comically small) fixed fee for each case.

Until now, if Canadian Uber drivers wanted to battle the tech giant, they had to do it in the Netherlands – for real

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Re: Judgement of Justice Feldman.

"What's now making it worse is that a previous indicator of being in business on one's own account - provision of equipment - is being ignored."

There's no change and the courts didn't ignore it. That's just one of the indicia of being a contractor, but it's never been determinative. There are plenty of employees who have traditionally brought their own tools, but that has never meant they're contractors just because they did so.

Every case is going to be context specific. I don't see why a statutory test replacing a well-used body of law that's been built up over time would be an improvement.

Ofcom asks networks, ISPs: Hey, wouldn't it be nice if you let customers know the best deal once their contract's up?

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Re: What is this out of contract thingie?

" looking with dismay and horror at their bill after travelling within 5 miles of the Serbian or Turkish border..."

Although it has a border with Serbia, Montenegro doesn't have a border with Turkey (well, not unless Erdogan's done something pretty dramatic overnight).

Are you sure you weren't in Bulgaria, which is the only country to have borders with Serbia and Turkey...?

Sidecar drags itself out the grave, sues Uber for putting it there

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"It wants to be compensated for what it says were monopolistic practices that broke Californian and federal law."

No, it's not, you're misunderstanding the timeline. Sidecar is saying that Uber engaged in *anti-competitive* practices in the past in order to become a monopolist now. Sidecar did not say that Uber was a monopolist at the time it engaged in anti-competitive practices, and the court doesn't need to find that Uber is or was a monopolist in order to find that its anti-competitive behavoiur caused loss to Sidecar.

Fraudster convicted of online banking thefts using… whatever the hell this thing is

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"Muldowney-Colston (who also goes by Tony Colston-Hayter)... is an audacious criminal who only recently was released from prison"

Hayters gonna hayte.


25% of NHS trusts have zilch, zip, zero staff who are versed in security

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Daily Mail: "NHS hires more 'MANAGERS' while waiting times INCREASE - and YOU'RE paying for it!"

Also the Daily Mail: "why did RUSSIAN HACKERS have copies of my CANCER DIAGNOSIS?"

'Say hello to my little vacuum cleaner!' US drug squad puts spycams in cleaner's kit

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You were right all along - and the surveillance footage has just been released!


You're legit and you know you are... Thanks to chanting racist footie fans, linking to dodgy stuff isn't necessarily illegal (well, in Europe)

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Re: Please select your response to this article:

The European Court of Human Rights enforces the European Convention on Human Rights in states-signatories that are members of the Council of Europe. The Council of Europe was formed in London before the European Union existed.

Brexit won't affect it because none of these things are EUey...

He's not cracked RSA-1024 encryption, he's a very naughty Belarusian ransomware middleman

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They want to be careful about assuming the identity of the person they found on VK is the real identity of the person who's benefitting from the scam.

It might well be, but identity theft to register dodgy companies, sign dodgy contracts and open dodgy bank accounts is very common in Russia. If the scammers have prepared this properly right from the start, all of the details uncovered by Check Point might be fraudulently used. On the other hand, maybe they're just lazy and that is their real identity.

I see from Dr Shifro's website that its clients include children's hospitals, children's medical rehabilitation charities, and a couple of government agencies...

And lo! Tim Cook becometh tech Jesus. But with more awards

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Re: The "right" thing?

I think what's more interesting is how Apple is going to walk the tightrope in the future by exercising a small degree of editorial control (by saying what can and cannot be published on its platform) but also avoiding liability for defamatory or otherwise dodgy material that's published on its platform (because it didn't decide what the content was). This has been covered on El Reg before.

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Re: The "right" thing?

"I think it was Voltaire who said "i hate what you have to say, but i will die for your right to say it"?"

Cue QI klaxon.

By the way, publishing material that's against a platform's terms and conditions isn't illegal - it's just a breach of contract.

Blockchain study finds 0.00% success rate and vendors don't call back when asked for evidence

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Re: Blockchains are a wonderful tool .....

> A "beowolf" is a wolf designed by Bang & Olufsen. Very slim and stylish, but at a price above industry average.

You're thinking about a beowolf cluster. A "Baiowolf" is a lupine fan of the early 1980s sitcom child star Scott Baio.

Ex-Autonomy boss Mike Lynch, finance VP Stephen Chamberlain charged with fraud in US

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"The indictment also demands Lynch pay back $815m from the HP takeover, and $4m from Chamberlain"

Just to be clear, the criminal complaint doesn't ask for them to pay that money back to HP. It wants them to forfeit that money ie it goes to the United States.

The civil litigation will determine whether Lynch and Chamberlain need to pay anything back to HP.

Consultant misreads advice, ends up on a 200km journey to the Exchange expert

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Re: Mini brakes

Haynes manuals were also notorious for the whole second half of the job being summarised in the last step: "assembly is the reverse of disassembly", no matter how complicated the first half was. Thanks a bunch!

China doesn't need to nick western tech when Google is giving it away

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Re: "Welcome to Capitalism"


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Re: Welcome to capitalism

"You might as well be suggesting that the socialists in Scandinavia have a point when you start tying corporations to national, state or local wellbeing"

Mate, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not "might as well be suggesting that", I'm absolutely agreeing with that.

I have my suspicions about which side of the Atlantic you're from and how many times you've been to the Oppressive Socialist Republics of Scandinavia...

TalkTalk hackhack duoduo thrownthrown in the coolercooler: 'Talented' pair sentenced for ransacking ISP

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Re: Hmm, but Harding's description

were they ISO 27001-approved security brambles?

John McAfee is 'liable' for 2012 death of Belize neighbour, rules court

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Re: It makes sense

You can’t bring a defamation action in England and Wales without something relevant happening in England & Wales. What always ends up happening is that the plaintiff claims that someone in the U.K. read the article (no matter how obscure an issue it is, and despite the subject and author of the article both being outside the U.K.).

'Unjustifiably excessive': Not even London cops can follow law with their rubbish gang database

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Re: Help me out here

There is no gang called “the Yardies” and never has been. Yardie just means a Jamaican, someone from “the Yard” ie home, Jamaica - it was only when the cops started using as a catch-all term for young black men that it came to be a synonym for gangster.

But much of the problem starts with who gets called a gang. I’m exaggerating slightly but you get three white boys who hang around together and they’re lads; you get three black kids who do the same thing and the cops call them a gang and put them on the Gangs Database for further attention and investigation...

Up to three million kids' GPS watches can be tracked by parents... and any miscreant: Flaws spill pick-and-choose catalog for perverts

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Re: To any children reading this

I doubt these watches are being given to run of the mill teenagers. But I bet a lot of them are being given to younger kids, kids who want to ride their bikes in the woods, kids who are autistic or have learning difficulties (and so get lost or run off frequently), kids whose parents have to arrange complex childcare (so you want to be able to see if they’re at granny’s house safely), kids whose deadbeat other parents keep breaching custody orders...and pets that get these on their collars because they’re cheap!

I don’t think the world is full of kidnappers trying to steal my kids. I do think sometimes it would be useful to be able to see where they are without teaching or reminding them to pick up the bloody phone...

Former Intel love rat Krzanich finds his calling, lands at biz that sells tech to car dealers

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Re: Del Boy?

Or maybe Swiss Toni

Facebook quietly admits role in Myanmar killing fields – but fret not, it will do better next time

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Re: Ethnic cleansing?

“killing 25,000 and allowing 14 times more (700,000) to escape doesn't sound like very successful ethnic cleansing.”

Ethnic cleansing is not the same as genocide. The purpose of ethnic cleansing is to remove ethnic group X from the territory that you wish to cleanse. The term derives from the Croatian euphemism “cleansing the land”.

Removing 720,000 people of a certain ethnic group from their land sounds very much like a “successful” ethnic cleansing.

ZX Spectrum reboot scandal man sits on Steve Bannon design tech shindig committee

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Re: "lucky few who have managed to avoid hearing about the boiling cesspit ....

Unfortunately, you didn't include mention the phrases "health and safety", "vegan sausage roll" or "Tony B-liar", so I'm afraid you didn't win Self-Pitying Bullshit Bingo this time. Please do keep playing (I'm sure you will).

That Saudi oil and gas plant that got hacked. You'll never guess who could... OK, it's Russia

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Did you read the FireEye blog explaining how it reached its tentative conclusion before posting?

Hey you know what the smart-home world really needs right now? Yup, Google screaming in

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Re: this is just the start of a very ugly battle for your home

If youda fixed it, youda said "It is cheaper THAN its competitors..."

The fur is not gonna fly: Uncle Sam charges seven Russians with Fancy Bear hack sprees

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Well, if it were just a private business venture and not to do with the state, who would be their client? Who's got a commercial disagreement with both WADA and the OPCW and wants to use Russian hackers to penetrate them?

Guilty: The Romanian ransomware mastermind who infected Trump inauguration CCTV cams

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Re: Prison Time

The US already has the largest per capita prison population. I don't think they need encouragement to lock up more people.

'Men only' job ad posts land Facebook in boiling hot water with ACLU

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Re: In the current environment, women are too much of a business risk..

"* Are the overwhelming majority of sexual harassment complainants"

We've discovered that our factory is poisoning a nearby river, so we've decided to solve the problem by getting rid of the river.

Linux kernel's Torvalds: 'I am truly sorry' for my 'unprofessional' rants, I need a break to get help

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Re: That's right Linux community... bend over...

"That, and it's entertaining when it hits the news."

Ahh...so you're saying it's a feature, not a bug?

US Treasury goes after IT shops for funneling cash to North Korea

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"Why should we give a flying fuck if the Norks or anybody else steal from banks whose only interest is paying themselves fat and undeserved bonuses, and who are too lazy to secure their systems?"

Because when the North Korean regime steals a billion dollars from the Bangladesh Bank (the central bank), they're stealing money that could be used to improve the lives of 150,000,000 crashingly poor people and spending it on propping up its own regime's oppression of 25,000,000 crashingly poor people.

It's no skin off your nose, Mr IT Middle Manager, but in the wider world it's a big deal.

Don't let Google dox me on Lumen Database, nameless man begs

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Re: Solicitors from London law firm Pinsent Masons

Yes - it's bad form of El Reg not to mention that Pinsents are media partners/sponcon(?) with El Reg.

Also, considering the reported detail but also the [sic], it seems like The Reg was relying on a source in court who was not a hack but who was keen to name check the barrister and law firm. Who might that have been?

Salesforce boss Marc Benioff objects to US immigration policy so much, he makes millions from, er, US immigration

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Re: Help from a broad

Not quite - Trump's second wife is from Georgia. Georgia the US state with the fried chicken and baseball, that is, not Georgia the ancient Caucasian country with the khachipuri and chacha, mmmm....

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Re: Unreasonable without reason

" A question for non-US countries--Why don't you allow American citizens the same immigration reciprocity & work permitting?"

Work permits and immigration procedures generally are reciprocal. If the US and country X don't have such an arrangement, it's because the two governments haven't agreed on it. And in reality if the two governments haven't agreed on it, it's probably because the US doesn't want to loosen restrictions on people from country X emigrating to the US - because let's be honest, for most countries in the world, the traffic would mostly be into the US rather than a balanced flow in both directions.

Scot.gov wins pals with pledge not to keep hold of innocents' mugshots and biometric data

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"It said that the code would apply to Police Scotland [etc...] - but not for national security or private companies."

Private companies would of course continue to be covered by the DPA/GDPR.

As it turns out, no, you can't just run an unlicensed Bitcoin money exchange

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Re: "No, you can't just run an unlicensed Bitcoin money exchange"

I feel dirty and ashamed. This is what happens when a pendant is hanged from their own canard.

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Re: "No, you can't just run an unlicensed Bitcoin money exchange"

You're wrong, and the article explains it. A bitcoin exchange is a money transmitting business and they require state and federal licences.

Internet overseer continues wall-punching legal campaign

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"despite...insisting that the lack of a Whois service...will cause an uptick in online crime, no one has yet to provide any evidence that that is the case...Law enforcement continues to be able to access full Whois data by simply requesting that registries and registrars provide it to them. So the issue is really large American corporations who want full Whois access in order to chase down anyone potentially infringing their trademarks"

Although ICANN has certainly butchered this whole issue and really ought to sit on the naughty step, what is written here is not correct. First, law enforcement can't compel registrars to provide data just because they say so in every jurisdiction - it really varies from place to place. In some places they can just ask; in others, they'd need a court order. Second, even if law enforcement can request it, you need to get their attention with your problem in order for them to do so - and there is a gigantic tidal wave of fraud that's reported through Action Fraud that just doesn't get dealt with. Third, if the registrar is in a different country to where the crime has been committed (e.g. UK crime, Egyptian domain), then you're going to need UK law enforcement to make a Mutual Legal Assistance Treaty request to the foreign authorities to get the data out of the other registrar. Fourth, not all Bad Things (counterfeiting, diversion of opportunity, defamation, harassment, passing off) are crimes or crimes that are serious enough to warrant a criminal investigation.

And so on. The lack of transparency on who owns domains makes investigating crime slower, more expensive and less successful. It also makes due diligence to prevent crimes more difficult. There's a (correct IMO) international push towards more transparency and public records of ownership of companies and property - why not also domains?

Most staffers expect bosses to snoop on them, say unions

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I don't want to be that guy...

...but half of the eye-catching statistics in this piece are about what employees THINK might be happening at their workplaces, not what is ACTUALLY happening at their workplaces.

Think tank calls for post-Brexit national ID cards: The kids have phones so what's the difference?

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Re: FFS - NO

" non-UK, non-EU citizens already have to have a Biometric Residence Permit (BRP) to stay for more than six months."

...and it's a shitshow. No one knows what BRPs are for. You can't use them to open bank accounts, you can't use them to get a driving licence and you can't even bloody use them to get in the country! In every case you still need to carry your passport. There is no point to them.

Trump wants to work with Russia on infosec. Security experts: lol no

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Re: Don't get sheep herded by the fake news media

"Putin is far more dangerous than Gorbachev and Yeltsin ever were - at least they seemed to play by the rules. That Putin changed the Russian constitution to allow him to have more than two terms of presidential office should tell you everything you need to know."

This is woefully and embarrassingly wrong. Gorbachev ordered peaceful protests in Riga and Baku to be violently suppressed with many deaths.

Yeltsin collaborated with the US to distort elections with literal duffel bags of cash, and had tanks shell a mostly democratically elected assembly that objected to his programme.

Putin did not change the constitution to allow him to serve more than two terms. The constitution prohibited anyone from serving two consecutive terms - and that has not changed.

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Re: Tee hee. Trump is to Putin as --

"a few of which then massively neglect their military establishment (cough, germany, cough) while making a killing out of one sided trade with the USA and then saying that they treat NATO spending of 2% of GDP as a target they will work towards..."

Maybe Germany is able to get by with spending a smaller proportion of GDP on defence than the US because it doesn't feel the need to have a military base and two wars in every continent?

India tells WhatsApp to add filters, ASAP

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Re: Shoot the messenger

"Perhaps it would help if you paid your police a decent wage so they weren't all corrupt as hell..."

There's actually no body of research that proves that improving the wages of corrupt officers reduces corruption. In fact, it might have the opposite effect. Corruption is a systematic problem of corporate culture [NB not national culture] and it's slower and more difficult than just throwing money at the problem.


Help, I'm being held prisoner in a security camera testing factory. So please read this...

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Re: Never wanted one until...

Can you tell us what stuff you bought? I am just thinking about doing the same thing.

Foolish foodies duped into thinking Greggs salads are posh nosh

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Re: Wait a minute

Nah, you wouldn’t serve avocado with whipped cream...would you?

LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

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Re: London pubs

"£5 for a pint? We only pay that at the Edinburgh festival. We can get much cheaper Scottish ales up here in Scotland."

Well, yeah, obviously, but that's because rent is cheaper and wages are lower in Auchentyshoogle than in LoIFKCA (LOndon's Improbably-Fashionable Kings Cross Area).

What Israel's crack majority-women Unit 8200 hackers can teach tech about diversity

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Re: Missed opportunity

"The girls are brought up to the equivalent of the old Afrikaner adage that translates as "Church, Kitchen, Children"."

Afrikaner? German, more like. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinder,_K%C3%BCche,_Kirche

Super Cali health inspectors: Tesla blood awoke us

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“an ideologically motivated attack by an extremist organization working directly with union supporters...”

Tesla should be ashamed of itself. It’s one thing to say that you disagree with unionists, but saying this is an extremist attack is ridiculous. They’re literally bracketing the Committee for Investigative Journalism with extremists like ISIS, Boko Haram, the KKK, the UFF and CAMRA. They really need to take the tone of their communications down and not respond to every disagreement with a rhetorical nuclear counterstrike.

Data watchdog fines Brit council £120k for identifying 943 owners of vacant property

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Re: I apologize for being ignorant in this...

"Like if you make a request to know whom owns the vehicle with plate $XYZ123 & the department of motor vehicles sends you not only the owner's name, but address as well. Both the name & address are publicly available, you can always do a reverse look up online or merely dial the operator & ask, so the department providing that data isn't violating any "private data" rules - it's all publicly available."

I assume you are in the US. If so, this is not correct. Access to vehicle registration information is restricted by the Driver's Privacy Protection Act, which states that records may only be disclosed for a number of specified reasons. Those reasons are more numerous than in the UK, for example, but they're not public records (in the sense of "give me a copy and I don't have to explain why"). Access is a privilege, not a right.


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