* Posts by short a sandwich

38 posts • joined 9 Aug 2017

A real loch mess: Navy larks sunk by a truculent torpedo

short a sandwich

Re: Waving it around wildly and then smacking the side of it

Who's been playing with Lesley's hooter?

Xiaomi Mi 9 owners furious after dodgy Vodafone software patch bricked their mobes

short a sandwich

Re: Android One

Two years of guaranteed updates? For the cost of one of these phones in unlocked form I would expect a bit longer.

'Non-commercial use only'? Oopsie. You can't get much more commercial than a huge digital billboard over Piccadilly

short a sandwich

Schadenfreude. . .

ist die beste Freude

Cloudflare goes retro with COBOL delivery service. Older coders: Who's laughing now? Turns out we're still vital

short a sandwich

Re: Mindset

BOFH SOP surely. Shock and awe to cow the PHB art al.

Hunting for IT staff? Lost your job during the pandemic? Sysadmin vacancies – and a free job ads offer – inside

short a sandwich
Pint

Beer

For use of nor.

I heard somebody say: Burn baby, burn – server inferno!

short a sandwich

Re: How about a nice long hot summer?

I have met one or two of the cowboy HVAC chaps. A flour mill control room that needed to be a 20C to measure dough water absorption accurately. Too much water or too little in the bakery dough meant either too much space in the plastic bread wrapper or a mess of crumbs and plastic as the machines try to stick big loaves in too small bags!

Control room had 2 or 3 500w meat based heat radiators, a 1 megawatt facitilty outside and sundry control PC's or PLC's installed. Said cowpoke couldn't work out why the temperature couldn't get below 25C with a 2.5KW unit. The 7.6KW unit that we replaced it with coped much better but the 'engineer' was unhappy that a 'civilian' had worked it out for him.

Can AI-enhanced virtual sports presenters do the job? It's a big ask

short a sandwich

Re: To be fair...

What I choose to do in my own time with either cats or eels. . .

BOFH: When was the last time someone said these exact words to you: You are the sunshine of my life?

short a sandwich

Lying at the start of a new commercial relationship that's going to end well with me too.

Post Office faces potential criminal probe over Fujitsu IT system's accounting failures

short a sandwich

Re: Malicious Prosecution?

I suspect any charges of perjury should relate to the individual and not the organisation. Witnesses give a personal oath of " I promise. . .'

Take Sajid Javid's comments on IR35 UK contractor rules with a bucket of salt, warns tax guru

short a sandwich

Re: There's an elephant you're ignoring

The good Rabbi also uttered not one peep when the last Prime Minister Mrs T May unveiled the statue to commemorate the arch anti-semite Lady Astor. Who 'hoped that nice Mr Hitler would solve the world Jewish problem'.

When the IT department speaks, users listen. Or face the consequences

short a sandwich

An HR Job

Time to let HR loose on her, nothing but a good scare will work now.

Socket to the energy bill: 5-bed home with stupid number of power outlets leaves us asking... why?

short a sandwich

BOFH Amateur

The quicklime storage facility in pic 11 looks inadequate and no sign of an old carpet store either. That's a no from me

Traffic lights worldwide set to change after Swedish engineer saw red over getting a ticket

short a sandwich

Re: Countdown

Taxi drivers are perpetually annoyed.

The safest place to save your files is somewhere nobody will ever look

short a sandwich

Re: Endless recycling

That's known as a piling system hereabouts. It's my job to ensure that these don't get out of hand.

Orford Ness: Military secrets and unique wildlife on the remote Suffolk coast

short a sandwich

Shingle Street

Worth a detour if you're on the way to Bawdsey for some peace and quiet.

Crunch time: It's all fun and video games until you're being pressured into working for free

short a sandwich

Re: Treat your workers right...

Nobody gives a toss until the excrement hits the air-conditioning. Then watch as HSE roll up and start charging for their time from arrival, before inviting people for a date at the court to try and prove that they are innocent. That's when management attitudes start to change.

Cloudflare punts far-right hate-hole 8chan off the internet after 30 slayed in US mass shootings

short a sandwich

Re: Grammar Nazi alert

Murder usually requires premeditation. It will be the American equivalent of UK manslaughter for an unlawful killing not premeditated. IANAL

Google's reCAPTCHA favors – you guessed it – Google: Duh, only a bot would refuse to sign into the Chocolate Factory

short a sandwich

Re: Attack-Sites...

Ooh, Schneier's favourite 'security by obscurity' phrase. Probably not secure then!

Techies take turns at shut-down top trumps

short a sandwich

Re: The problem with poorly located buttons

OR something large and heavy fell from the top of the step-ladder when I moved them! Who Me?

College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system

short a sandwich
Go

Experience

First the test, then the learning!

Cheap call? Hardly. GSM gateway judicial review to settle whether UK Home Sec can legally push comms watchdog around

short a sandwich
Coat

Re: "eye-wateringly high per-minute rates demanded by telcos back in the early 2000s"

Is that my missing one from the picnic.

That one at the back with the crushed cake in the pockets please

Smaller tech firms just aren't ready for a no-deal Brexit, MPs told

short a sandwich

Re: Inadaquacy and disagreement

<blockquote> I had a meeting with two HMRC VAT chaps on Tuesday and they weren't even sure if they would still have a job in case of No Deal (in two months!) as most of their work depends on intra-EU trading VAT processes.</blockquote>

They'll have a job, it will be checking containers or seizing contraband. Everyone in HMRC will be trained in this.

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know

short a sandwich

Re: Inquiring minds want to know...

Induhviduals I believe is the Dilbert classification.

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

short a sandwich

Re: Not sure...

Boots pharmacy assistants always look worried if you ask for chilled meths.

Wow, fancy that. Web ad giant Google to block ad-blockers in Chrome. For safety, apparently

short a sandwich

Re: ad giant Google to block ad-blockers in Chrome

Bit of an embuggerance for those of us using Ubiquiti kit at work. They (Ubiquiti) have harnessed their wagon to the Chrome horse to administer networking on Cloud Key and online. Lots of lovely warnings that Firefox or Safari are lacking when trying to use them.

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

short a sandwich

Re: It is possible to produce an idiot proof interface.

Have an upvote for the DNA paraphrasing

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

short a sandwich

Re: And the opposite...

That will be a no then. Failure to plan on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

A Christmas classic: Cloudera founder asks staff to stay another day

short a sandwich

Loyalty bonus for staying to the end or I'm out of here.

Sysadmin trained his offshore replacements, sat back, watched ex-employer's world burn

short a sandwich

Re: This smells like BS.

Its proper name is electrical installation testing, but the principle is very similar to PAT.

Heatwave shmeatwave: Brit IT departments cool their racks – explicit pics

short a sandwich

Re: I always like when people put flammable materials...

The British Standard door stop. Also the bane of H&S people's lives at this time of the year.

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

short a sandwich

Is it me or does it smell vaguely of boiled cabbage and urine in here?

Chrome adblockalypse will 'accelerate Google-Facebook duopoly'

short a sandwich
Joke

Free Internet

Last time I looked the bearded one was relieving me of £40 a month for internet access. Where do I get free internet?

HomePod, you say? Sex sex sex, that's all you think about

short a sandwich

Re: Simple solutions to the HomePod thing

There is a $20 coaster in leather just advertised to keep your wood ring-free.

Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

short a sandwich

Rule One...

for customers. Don't be a dick.

Guy Glitchy: Villagers torch Openreach effigy

short a sandwich

Re: That's the price you pay...

5.5 Miles drive from Tiverton is not the arse-end of anywhere

Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

short a sandwich

Not the Storage

There's no cheese in that picture, can't be from Hex

Good Lord: Former UK spy boss backs crypto

short a sandwich
Thumb Up

Re: Give that man a cookie

A persistent cookie or one of those super flash ones?

Corporate criminal tax offences likely to further increase HMRC's use of dawn raids, says expert

short a sandwich

Obviously HMRC have read BOFH and a dawn raid ensures there's no unexpected cattle prod/Hector interface issues. A competent BOFH will arrive at a civilised hour. Friday lunch may also be a going concern for HMRC too.

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