The Customer is Aways Right
Fortunately I've never had the dubious joys of working on an IT helldesk. However I have spent more than a few years of my adult life behind a bar. And if you think these f*wits are troublesome sober, imagine what they're like drunk. There are many reasons for a customer to annoy a barman, and even more ways for a barman to retaliate; here are two of my more memorable.
At the nightclub I worked at back when smoking was allowed, all the slops were poured into a bucket before the glasses went into the rack to go through the washer. Bottles and glasses often had cigarette butts in them from folks who couldn't be arsed to find an ashtray or wanted to be absolutely sure it was extinguished. So the contents of the bucket were usually pretty rank and pouring it down the drain was a pretty revolting task. At the end of the night the remaining ice got thrown in the same sink. After we've rung last orders, some drunk neanderthal staggers up to the bar and demands ice for his drink. Nope, not got any, all gone, drink it up pal. Repeated f-ing and blinding ensues, with shouting. Eventually I lean over, smile sweetly and offer to take his glass and get some ice for him. I didn't say that it wasn't going to be from the pile of ice in the drain, that's just had all manner of slops and ash poured over it...
The second event was in the same venue but earlier in the night. I'm working a bar single-handed, serving two and three customers at a time with a couple of dozen waiting. The abbreviated version of the exchange goes: "oi b*tch, you've short changed me", nope, you gave me a ten and I've given you the change for that, "you f*cking thieving c*nt, I gave you a twenty" nope it was a ten, "f*cking b*tch, give me my f*cking mo..." at which point I've lost my temper, picked up the pint I've just served him and thrown it straight in his face " now f*ck off out of my bar!". Followed by a round of applause from the rest of the customers and a hefty tip from a few of them. (The second follow-up was that he went downstairs and complained to the door staff, who looked at his dripping face and asked what he'd done to deserve it. And then evicted him from the premises).