* Posts by Angry IT Monkey

20 posts • joined 7 Jul 2017

'They took away our Cup-a-Soup!' Share your tales of bleak breakout areas with us

Angry IT Monkey

CRAP In The Afternoon

Tea bags? Cup-a-Soups? Pah!

Worked at a certain outsourcer that decided toilet paper and soap were optional luxuries. For months we were encouraged to use the facilities at a nearby supermarket. Talk about pushing staff to not give a shit!

You often had an early lunch if you needed to go or risk a stomach upset, not something you want in a building where the remaining soap was so watered down it was homeopathic.

Leaky child-tracking smartwatch maker hits back at bad PR

Angry IT Monkey

Re: Iceland

According to their marketing it's manufactured in China to German standards, even seems to be a selling point. The server that holds all tracking data is housed in Germany. I hope the security is better than the watch.

I don't even know all the people on my street, let alone the closest 350,000.

Angry IT Monkey

Re: Dammit you guys!!!!

The guy must be pitching at naive parents who don't understand that a "Smart Watch" shouldn't have what their blurb boasts is a "Traditional Analogue Watch Face to Hide away the High Tech Construction".

It also says you can track almost to the meter, which is somewhat at odds with his 500 meter range defence.

Plus any kid can leave the tracker at a friend's house if they're going somewhere they've been told not to.

Still, I'm sure their Safe Kid Two is much more secure, it has a pedometer.

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late

Angry IT Monkey

Re: Out of luck.

Been there, occasionally had to carefully slide it out of the rack and open the top to tap a stuck fan while running production systems through it.

Angry IT Monkey

"5. Talk to management about resolving the issue permanently."

Sadly, Manglement at most places I've worked would consider this workaround a permanent fix. Possibly with a laminated printout of steps 1 to 3 stuck to the server if they're *really* serious about it.

Angry IT Monkey

Re: 1998 system still running

I worked in a small engineering company about 10 years ago and they had a DOS machine running a specialist software package linked to a handheld colour scanner in the QC dept (I'm thinking spectrometer but not 100% sure).

Until it broke one day I didn't even know it existed, no network connection so it never showed up on scans.

The HDD had some bad sectors which a VCR scan with remap fixed and it booted back up. I recommended an upgrade but the software cost was in the £thousands so no go. I did P2V into VMWare Player just in case though.

They probably still use it.

Fake broadband ISP support scammers accidentally cough up IP address to Deadpool in card phish gone wrong

Angry IT Monkey

Re: Who is to blaim for being taken by scammers?

My 80-odd year old Nan saw through the "please ring straight back" scam and she's never used a computer in her life. She realised there was no ring tone when she called the number and the same voice answered, so she played dumb and pretended she couldn't find her glasses to read the card details they asked for.

The other scam someone tried on her was a supposed call from the police who wanted her to go to an ATM immediately because someone was stealing her money and they needed her there as a witness or they couldn't prosecute. She quite rightly thought it was nonsense and pretended she had mobility problems and would wait for her son to bring her down. She might have mentioned kickboxing.

Being non-technical doesn't automatically make someone fall for these scams just as knowing how to play tunes using a dot matrix printer doesn't make you immune.

£10k offer to leave firm ASAP is not blackmail, Capita told by judge

Angry IT Monkey

Re: Not Blackmail?

That explains 2 or 3 sudden "retirements" while I was working there. Wish they'd offered me £10k, I had to leave for free!

HTTPS crypto-shame: TV Licensing website pulled offline

Angry IT Monkey

Capita provide the secure payments side, I believe IBM host the rest.

Yes, I feel dirty defending Capita!

Capita data centres hit by buttload of outages

Angry IT Monkey
Coat

Re: Cloud Storage Strategy

"I wonder if someone will leak the outages for their Networks business, i bet that would make interesting reading!"

Maybe they keep trying to but the connection isn't stable enough to get it out!

User had no webcam or mic, complained vid conference didn’t work

Angry IT Monkey

I'm sorry but that man was born without a brain

Comment from a colleague after a particularly taxing time with the guy in charge of sales at an old job.

Amongst his support calls:

"I've saved an attachment and it's disappeared, it's really important come down now and fix it" - Saved a PDF and was trying to open it through the Excel file open dialog.

"I've an Excel sheet with figures and I want an answer at the bottom"

"What kind of answer? A total? Average?

"I don't know, I just think it should have something at the bottom"

Also a doomed project to work out the profit on all products:

"OK, so how do you work out profit now?"

"Well, I know we sell it for this amount and I've decided we'll make 2% profit so I divide the sales price by 1.02 and that tells me what it costs to make"

"Riiight..."

"Then I take off the material costs which gives me the machining costs"

"OK... but aren't the machining costs fixed? I mean running the same machine for the same amount of time must cost the same every time"

"Well no because if I decide to sell the product at 5% profit then I divide the sales price by 1.05 and the cost to make it goes down. The materials cost the same so the machine time must cost less or the figures don't add up"

I think the last one sent said colleague over the edge.

Beyond code PEBCAK lies KMACYOYO, PENCIL and PAFO

Angry IT Monkey

I've used:

TFL - Too Flipping Late

SOL - Somewhat Out of Luck

These are the clean versions :)

Oh good. Transport for London gives Capita £80m for WAN, LAN and Wi-Fi

Angry IT Monkey
Joke

I don't know what the fuss is about, it's not like Crapita have any problems with their own networks.

I mean have you ever heard of them having problems due to network in the last, oh I don't know, month, week or day?

(Icon to show I've not lost my marbles, yet, completely)

Black Horse Down: Lloyds Banking Group goes TITSUP*

Angry IT Monkey

Re: The real reason - Please

"Datacentres are built around redundance; offsite locations, backup, power supplies etc so what is really happening here when entire banking systems go offline."

Erm... hands up anyone who knows a datacentre that charges for resilience but can't provide it.

Prefix that with "Good" and I agree completely.

NHS could have 'fended off' WannaCry by taking 'simple steps' – report

Angry IT Monkey

Re: I work in the NHS

Outsourcing usually comes down to a complicated lowest bidder / jobs for the boys formula that doesn't include quality. Over the years I've come across so many clangers from these bargain-basement companies that I'm sure they just drag random people in from the street to implement critical projects dealing with people's lives/health/money/future.

Sadly I can't post any without being identified at work and I'm not quite ready to retire...

@JamesPond - it's not just tiny local companies, I've dealt with huge national and global IT companies that struggle beyond "My password needs resetting" including a very big blue one.

NatWest customer services: We're aware of security glitch

Angry IT Monkey
Joke

Re: PayPal Fail

> Ryanair have in the past similarly had a password set up that doesn't validate the password according to the rules they declare: Second half (ish) of this.

I imagine that costs extra.

I'll get my coat...

Angry IT Monkey

Re: Comparing password characters

> You can believe that all you want but I know for certain that a major non-banking player in the UK held plain text passwords because I manipulated them into telling me what my password was.

The password could be stored using reversible encryption, PCI compliance allows this for card numbers which don't change often if at all.

Of course the "encryption" could just be strrev() or Igpay Atinlay and nothing excuses giving out passwords. Bad major non-banking player!

Capita still hasn't found what its looking for: A CEO

Angry IT Monkey

Re: Capita still hasn't found what its looking for: A CEO

"shouldn't that be ":an L"?"

That would make their recent Capita One venture confusing.

Ideas for the incoming CEO, a US package holiday arm called America Express and a geriatric care robot called Pa Pal...

Bombastic boss gave insane instructions to sensible sysadmin, with client on speakerphone

Angry IT Monkey

I was once at a friend's wedding where my boss's boss was also attending. He jokingly said my name was mud because the firm was have problems during stock take and I wasn't answering my phone. Bit selfish I know but this was the middle of 2 weeks leave, the bosses knew about the wedding because the bride worked at the firm and it was my birthday.

Turns out the stock take program crashed and in some attempt to get at the data the IT manager had dismantled the barcode scanner, pressing too hard while unscrewing the back and pressing the hard reset key combination so a factory reset ensued.

It was still on my desk when I got back along with the notes he'd made chronicling my part in this debacle - "3pm not answering phone". I think you can guess what time the couple took their vows and why I didn't answer my phone.

The couple are still happily married and I'm happily not working there any more.

Virgin Media biz service goes TITSUP* across London

Angry IT Monkey

Re: One fibre break

This would depend on what that fibre is linked to. if it was, say, a datacentre hosting multiple councils' infrastructure...

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019