* Posts by MrBanana

71 posts • joined 31 May 2017

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Rookie almost wipes customer's entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin

MrBanana

Re: .cobol

"WAH! I copied the .COBOL back to .COB and started over again. As I knew what I wanted to do this time, it only took about a day to re-do what I had deleted."

When this has happened to me, I end up with better code than I had before. Re-doing the work gives you a better perspective. Even if functionally no different it will be cleaner, well commented, and laid out more consistently. I sometimes now do it deliberately (although just saving the first new version, not deleting it) to clean up the code.

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Apple in XS new sensation: Latest iPhone carries XS-sive price tag

MrBanana

What now?

Over a grand? For a phone? Fuck off.

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Python joins movement to dump 'offensive' master, slave terms

MrBanana

Re: SJW Powers Activate

Nope, you can't kill zombies, that's the point.

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Official: Google Chrome 69 kills off the World Wide Web (in URLs)

MrBanana

Re: The layers keep piling up

"Knowing how something works is - very obviously - not the same as being able to repair it"

But it certainly helps to know what a job involves when you have to get someone else to do it. I can do many repair jobs on a car but some are out of reach because of specialist tools or lack of manuals. But I can make a much more informed decision, when choosing someone to do the job for me, if I know how it all works in the first place.

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A flash of inspiration sees techie get dirty to fix hospital's woes

MrBanana

Re: Whatever gets the job done

"you do this once a year right? use one of the other computers."

You don't work from home do you - where is this 'other computer' of which you speak? Oh yes, it's a 4hr round trip to the nearest office. Even once a year is an unnecessary pain in the arse compared to actually getting your IT to work for everyone in the company, no matter where they worked.

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What happens to your online accounts when you die?

MrBanana

Re: Get a Power of Attorney

Yes, many copies. Just going through this after my father' s death. The solicitor has been completely useless, HSBC's bereavement service an utter shambles, and more than one party we have had to notify have needed a second death certificate after loosing the first one.

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Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

MrBanana

Oh, and you needn't have bothered so much about problems with renewing license keys. Once you'd figured out the relationship between the modules and their keys, it wasn't difficult to clone a valid key for one module and activate any other module you wanted.

[ In a future On-Call, I could tell the tale of how we managed to got hold of the Tetraplan system source code. ]

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MrBanana

Re: Oh so familiar

At the other end of the scale you have Continuous Payment Authority. They can take as much as they want from your credit card without contacting you for authority, just notifying you of the charge. None of the protection that you get with Direct Debit payments, and if your credit card is declined then *you* are in breach of contract. Popular with money grabbing insurance companies.

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MrBanana

Tetraplan by any chance? I used to do custom development of their accounts package using their weird conversion of BASIC to C via convoluted macros. The C-ISAM link to I-SQL trick was a common dodge so that a real forms entry system and report writer could be used instead of the horrors of the Tetraplan code.

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Sur-Pies! Google shocks world with sudden Android 9 Pixel push

MrBanana

Re: Survey...

I'm surprised no one has mentioned waze - it's much more focussed on the driving experience than Google Maps. The community call in of hazards ahead works well to alert you of weather, traffic and other "things to be aware of" (eg lurking boys in blue). It's prediction of trip time is usually within a few minutes, even on a journey of hundreds of km. And it will re-route you around road closures and very bad traffic conditions - saved me a few times when the M25 gets randomly shut in the wee hours with no hint of a diversion route.

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Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

MrBanana

Misread that as "breaches" - then figured it was unlikely as no one seems able to put a cap on that kind of thing.

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Great news, cask beer fans: UK shortage of CO2 menaces fizzy crap taking up tap space

MrBanana

Re: dress rehearsal

You've fallen into the trap. You say "we import" but in fact, it is "the EU import". We trade with the outside world under EU treaties. Those treaties allow for the easy importation of goods to the EU, and therefore to us. Once we are outside the EU we will not have those treaties in place and import/export, from everywhere, will become a lot more difficult. Best case is that we can renegotiate to get the same deal as we had in the EU. But we would have to do this on an individual basis with every country we trade with, and that takes time, and negotiators that we do not have. Worse case is we have to fallback to WTO tariffs - that is a very bad position to be in.

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Britain's new F-35s arrive in UK as US.gov auditor sounds reliability warning klaxon

MrBanana

Re: I wonder...

While travelling around the Scottish highlands a few years ago I stopped on the side of a road, running around the upper levels of a loch, to admire the view. Obviously a regular test route, two fighters snaked noisily through the valley at high speed. Were they at a low level? I was looking down on them.

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MrBanana

Re: The real Lightning

I think you mean:

...a cockpit sitting on top of a jet engine sitting on top of a jet engine sitting on top of a tray full of nuts and bolts that had fallen off.

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Did you test that? No, I thought you tested it. Now customers have it and it doesn't work

MrBanana

Re: And it's even worse today...

A blank tape or disc would have been noticed by my customers in just a few hours. So, when you didn't have anything to ship, the process was this: Start writing something that looked like the correct install files to media, open media door part way through (we're talking about the 5 1/4" floppy and QIC-150 era here) to generate an IO error. Put broken media in an inappropriate mailing package. Dance on the package so there is an obvious footprint and other plausible wear and tear marks on the outside. Send package. Act surprised, and blame The Post Office, when media is not readable by the customer. Before the advent of downloads over a "network", that would buy you a couple of days development time. Who said we weren't agile back then?

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My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

MrBanana
Flame

A computer on fire, you say?

A few years back I was at a customer site helping to set up a nice new fangled Unix box to replace the IBM mainframe that was their current system. While working in the machine room we saw smoke coming from an IBM disk system - size of a washing machine, probably about 40Mb of data. We all evacuated and called the fire brigade. I was surprised to see that the first person to arrive on the scene was an IBM engineer, summoned by some automatic hardware failure alert. He was frantically trying to extract the removable disk pack when the firemen did turn up and forcefully pulled him away from the smouldering disk drive.

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MrBanana
Headmaster

Re: I recall even my mum (a bit like Dilmom) telling me a fire story

"Dropping lumps of sodium into dishes of water"

Our chemistry teacher was a small man, but liked big experiments. He took a cork sized chunk of sodium out of the oil filled jar, and cut a small piece off - about the size of a dried pea. We watched it fizz around in a petri dish for a few seconds. Ho hum. Then he told us that potassium was more reactive. To demonstrate this we were led outside, with a similar, oil filled jar of cork sized potassium chunks, one of which he lobbed into the swimming pool. Bang - science!

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IBM declares it's the 'backbone of the world's economy'

MrBanana

Re: Where will it end?

That's true for the general business case, but this is IBM's service division where the cost of the IT focused jobs that could be outsourced is way more than 2-3%. I believe their target was 80% but it is now 60%. That makes it very attractive for the period of time when the low wage economy is working for them. Once the wage bill starts rising then the figures don't add up any more, but the IBM execs that pushed this scam through will be long gone by then.

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Crowdfunding refund judgment doesn't quite open the floodgates

MrBanana

Re: FFS, this is utterly ridiculous...

I don't know the details but think you are probably correct - there is no radical new tech here. So, if it is so simple to make, why didn't they just do it? Rather than take a load of money off willing punters, and then string them along, with no product (ever) in sight. Even if not intended at first offering, this debacle now has SCAM printed all over it.

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NASA finds satellite, realises it has lost the software and kit that talk to it

MrBanana

Re: $10 SDR USB dongle

Exactly this.Treat it as an unknown signal from space, hand it out to the public, and see what expertise makes itself available to decode it. A dummy run for when the real LGM signals arrive.

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User stepped on mouse, complained pedal wasn’t making PC go faster

MrBanana

Re: Reminds me of a story

When I first started learning to drive I was sure that it was going to be easy as I had watched my dad drive for years and was very keen to apply what I had seen to my initial lesson. But I had a big problem at the first corner, although I was fully aware of the steering wheel motion causing a change in direction of the car, which seemed so easy and obvious, my real life road experience was on a bicycle. Holding the wheel at the classic quarter to three position and steering by only moving it a few degrees, just as I would with a pair of handle bars, required immediate intervention by my instructor. What had seemed so obvious, was incorrect because I my perceived understanding was missing some vital information, and my application of prior experience was plain wrong. Easily corrected by the instructor but probably something that should have been covered before I got in the car. [ Note this was a long time ago, before such things as driving video games where I might have picked up some more obvious clues. ]

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Facebook grows a conscience, admits it corroded democracy

MrBanana

Re: This is a stupid discussion

"Facebook and the internet are two different things."

You know that, and I know that. But sadly there are many social media casualties that are clueless to this kind of distinction. And not just Facebook=The Internet. How many times do you see people "go to a website" by typing the address into the google search box and hitting return. Then choosing the top, or some other random result, from what gets served up. The ability to type the address into the browser's URL box and then click "visit website" is an alien notion to their understanding of Google=The Internet.

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Playboy is suing Boing Boing over Imgur centrefold link

MrBanana
Joke

Naked women?

Huh, what, wait...

So there are pictures of actual naked women on the internet! But they have been forcibly removed by these people called "Playboy", sounds like a good business opportunity for someone.

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User had no webcam or mic, complained vid conference didn’t work

MrBanana

Re: This one, every time

You should have uuencoded it and then printed that out. When he needs to restore it from his "archive" he just needs to type it all back in again.

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FBI says it can't unlock 8,000 encrypted devices, demands backdoors for America's 'public safety'

MrBanana

Re: Talking to the Hand

They know exactly what they are doing. They understand completely that a universal encryption backdoor is not acceptable. But they will keep on pushing this in public until, at some point, they will give us the options of 1) Be a good citizen, don't use encryption; 2) Use an FBI approved encryption method (with a backdoor); 3) Use any other encryption method (you're automatically a person of interest). If they make the penalties for option 3 scary enough, then the sheeple will choose 1 or 2. Their concession to device vendors who don't want to be forced into only 1 or 2, will be that when you first initialise your new shiny you will get the three options:

1) Don't encrypt this device (not recommended)

2) Use FBI approved secure encryption (default)

3) Use non-approved encryption (this can lead to seizure of your device by security officials and severe criminal penalties if the encryption key is withheld)

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MrBanana

Actually, that's four. But hey, you can still have an upvote for the sentiment.

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Hold on to your aaSes: Yup, Windows 10 'as a service' is incoming

MrBanana

Re: "compelling new features"

Sorry to tell you, but if you thought that Win 7 was a step in a downward direction, then grab a parachute for Windows 10. I've spent 2 days trying to figure out why the latest FCU won't install on my Lenovo P50. Apart from two, seemingly random, hex error codes, I have no clue as to where to look. The Microsoft support pages are vague to the point of obscure on the issue... something, something, device driver, something. How about pointing me to an error log file?

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IBM melts down fixing Meltdown as processes and patches stutter

MrBanana

Re: get rid of your experienced staff...

But it's the IBM way. A project manager with the problem: "If it takes 9 months for a woman to conceive and then give birth to a baby" then it stands to reason that all you need to do is contract this out to three women and get the job done in 1/3rd the time. Simple Maths.

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UK exam chiefs: About the compsci coursework you've been working on. It means diddly-squat

MrBanana

Re: CompSci without coursework - half the size and faster

There is a difference between well written and well documented complex code, and poorly written and badly documented complex code. Simplicity is a great goal, and there is usually no reason that the non-clever, easy to understand route shouldn't work out to be the most efficient. But there are cases where trick code is necessary - just make sure it is thoroughly documented for those that come after you. Very often it will be yourself, some years later, with no clue as to why you did what you did back then - you have to write your explanation to satisfy that future idiot.

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MrBanana

Re: When I were a lad

My O level project was writing an on screen editor that allowed a Commodore PET to bypass the standard font settings (such as they are with a dot-matrix device) and create custom graphics characters for printing. Mostly in hand written machine code (we didn't have an assembler) to drive the screen and printer. I got a poor mark because they couldn't understand it - I should have written a BASIC program to read in and some numbers and plot a pretty graph like everyone else.

My A level project was also confusing to the examiners who seemed to be only looking for a stock inventory system (or anything that allowed you to show off your "skill" in producing a bubble sort) written in BASIC on a CP/M machine. Instead I wrote an assembler version of Conway's Game of Life (BASIC was too slow for real time updates) and got a lower mark than three of my fellow students for whom I had written half of their projects. I probably should have included a bubble sort in my assembler code.

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Game of Thrones author's space horror Nightflyers hitting telly

MrBanana

The Blade Itself

If you want a GOT type mix of fighting, magic, fighting, family and political intrigue, and fighting then try Joe Abercrombie's First Law series. (Did I mention the fighting?)

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Linux Mint 18.3: A breath of fresh air? Well, it's a step into the unGNOME

MrBanana

Re: Great OS

I've tried Mint a couple of times but didn't like the inability to make a major version change without backing up all your user data and doing a destructive install. An in-place version update is possible with Ubuntu, why not Mint - or have they fixed that with this release?

And if they've ditched support for KDE then that is another "no from me".

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'Twas the night before Y2K and a grinch stole the IT department's overtime payout

MrBanana

I've been fortunate to have had one of those managers. I was on a two week secondment to our US team and wondered why everyone there was so happy and motivated, compared to the grumpy crew I worked with in the UK. For instance - our manager refused to hire someone we had personally recommended, for their technical skills, because she didn't like the socks he wore to the interview. She also had no clue as to what we actually did, in stark contrast with the US manager; who I once spotted walking through the support centre and, seeing that one of the incoming call queues had a long wait time, he pulled up a chair, put on a headset and dealt with the backlog. First day on my return to the UK I made a request to move permanently to the US, so glad that it got granted.

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MrBanana

Forcing contractual obligations

Hiding a kill switch in case of no payment reminds me of a coding contract that was starting to wobble and it was decided to make sure we would get paid by removing access to the source code that was being developed on the customers machine (it was some Sperry/Unisys machine that we didn't have access to in-house). Encryption options were few and far between in the late 1980s so we simply used compress to obfuscate the data. We did this every evening before leaving work in the knowledge that the backups ran overnight and would only contain the "encrypted" data.

Sure enough the customer refused to pay the next instalment, and said they would continue on their own with what we had done so far. We said, go ahead. Despite engaging the top support people to "de-crypt" the files, they never figured out that they were just compressed, and had to cough up the rest of the contracted money to get the source code back.

67
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One more credit insurer abandons Maplin Electronics

MrBanana

Re: Probably for nought but...

Have a look out for a repair cafe in your area. My local one is staffed by volunteers who have skills in diagnosing and fixing electrical items. No formal lessons, but you can learn a lot from the old hands who have previously worked in the electronics industry. We're crying out for young 'uns who want to learn how to fix things rather than throw them away.

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Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

MrBanana

Re: Can't we get rid of May?

You can't compare a referendum to a general election. In a general election people will be swayed by an "of the moment" issue, or use their vote as a protest, knowing that they can change their mind in five years (or May-be less) time. A referendum decision is much more final. Making it absolutely clear that this is a one-shot deal, and ignoring the initial advisory status of the referendum, is one of the big failings on all sides - both political and from all of the commentators.

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At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

MrBanana

Just desserts

You had me at brandy soaked...

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IBM reminds staff not to break customers in pre-Xmas fix-this-now rush

MrBanana

Re: i'm sure

Ha, ha. I see what you did there, you thought that IBM might look any further than the country that the employee was working in and the benefit of moving that job offshore. They have committed to moving 80% of jobs, individual standards or not.

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'Suspicious' BGP event routed big traffic sites through Russia

MrBanana

So what did they get?

For the period of the misrouting "event", I assume they were able to do a mahoosive wireshark type capture of all network packets that got routed through their networks. That's a lot of data to sift through, what could they find? The good stuff will be encrypted, no?

2
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French activists storm Paris Apple Store over EU tax dispute

MrBanana

Re: It's a tradition...

"Anything you build they don't build, on a post card, please."

A Formula 1 car? It's just the rubbish Renault engine that is built in France.

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Voyager 1 fires thrusters last used in 1980 – and they worked!

MrBanana

Re: Intercepting Voyager?

"Surely the chances are that we'll go and hunt it down for posterity once we've sussed proper interstellar travel?"

And tonight on Antiques Roadshow we have Brian, who found something interesting passing through the Smaller Magellanic Cloud.

[ You do know that Antiques Roadshow will outlive Voyager? ]

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OnePlus 5T is like the little sister you always feared was the favourite

MrBanana

Re: Fingerprint sensor on the rear

I guess it is open to interpretation but https://www.gov.uk/using-mobile-phones-when-driving-the-law says that a mobile phone in a dashboard holder, as I described, is permitted.

Difficult to see that it is much different to poking at the display of the in-build satnav, or the in-built climate control pannel, or changing the traction control on the fancy screen, or even the simplest of tasks such as pressing the ON button for the heater, radio, lights etc.

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MrBanana

Bluetooth?

...I don' have no stinkin' bluetooth.

Biggest technological advance I have over the FM/MW/LW radio + cassette is the 6 CD auto changer that is helpfully hidden in the boot.

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MrBanana

Fingerprint sensor on the rear

When driving, accessing my OnePlus 5 with the front mounted fingerprint sensor is easy. On a 5T, with no easy access to a rear mounted sensor, I would have to activate the phone, look at it, swipe up, swipe my unlock code, damn it, look up, swerve around traffic, try to swipe my unlock code again, damn it...

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Munich council: To hell with Linux, we're going full Windows in 2020

MrBanana

Re: Politics

Please give your reasoned arguments for calling "bullshit" on the comparison between two completely fictional products? I made them up. A and B do not actually exist. In the context of this, or any other article.

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MrBanana

Politics

1) We did a technical evaluation of product A and product B and found that product A was faster and more stable that product B.

2) We gave both products to a sample of users and they all agreed that product A was more intuitive and easier to use that product B.

3) The support team were able to answer more questions on product A on the first attempt than product B.

4) The procurement department assessment was that the TCO of product A would be much less than product B.

5) Our CEO plays golf with the CEO of the company that makes product B.

Which product got chosen?

10
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Apple tries to patent facial recognition

MrBanana

Re: Facial Recognition?

"Next week, I'm filing a patent for software which allows me to fry bacon -- on a mobile phone"... "In bed".

Sounds messy, and I'd definitely stick to electric rather than gas, if only for safety reasons. But happy to bring along a couple of slices of bread and the HP sauce.

0
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Brit cops slammed for failing to give answers on digital device data slurpage

MrBanana

Data access

I don't believe that the 'information wasn’t held in an "easily retrievable format"', knowing police computer systems, it was almost certainly written somewhere on a bunch of Post-It notes.

4
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Automatic for the people: Telcos forced to pay for giving you crap services

MrBanana

15 Months?

So it will take them 15 months to update their systems to provide compensation. And yet, it takes them less than a day to update their systems to account for increased charges to the customer.

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Paradise Papers reveal Apple moved bits of biz offshore

MrBanana

Re: meh

"Company directors do have a legal duty to their shareholders to maximise the returns made"

Not this again. This is untrue, if you think it is true then please offer up a reference.

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