* Posts by iron

397 posts • joined 25 May 2017


1980s sci-fi movies: The thrill of being not quite terrified on mum's floral sofa

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holographic screens, talking computers and flying cars

These things existed in sci-fi long before the 1980s. It is tempting to think that the decade you grew up in invented everything but the author should leave that to millennials and instead watch some of the many excellent sci-fi films made between 1920 and 1979.

UK, US govt and pals on WannaCry culprit: It woz the Norks wot done it

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Dear Lord Toffy McToffyface,

Prove it.

Alleged Uber black ops lawyer would rather not have his Xmas holiday ruined by Waymo, ta

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> claims he hasn't had enough time to prepare to testify

That's ok just tell the truth, you don't need time to prepare for that.

Mozilla's creepy Mr Robot stunt in Firefox flops in touching tribute to TV show's 2nd season

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Have to laugh at the outrage

> "I absolutely did not opt-in to that add-on," raged one Redditor.

Except you did when you opted in to the studies. Studies was not enabled by default and clearly said it would install extensions and could collect data (which this extension didn't do) so you only have yourselves to blame.

I opted out of studies when it appeared last week and so haven't seen this extension. :)

Checkmate: DeepMind's AlphaZero AI clobbered rival chess app on non-level playing, er, board

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Re: Google /Alphabet PR @Randy112235

> The 2 TPU's AlphaZero ran on while playing Stockfish is not that much more powerful than the CPU Stockfish ran on

You need to visit an optician, the article clearly states AZ ran on 64 TPU2s and 5,000 TPU1s. If 5,064 specialised chips are "not that much more powerful" than a single general purpose x86 CPU then clearly Google has invented a total lemon of a chip that should be consigned to the dustbin of history asap.

UK needs a 'digital twin' to keep track of its data assets – report

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> the tired and overused adage that "data is the new oil" doesn't appear once.

I have never heard that adage in my life and I've even worked in the oil industry.

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

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Murdoch's Fox empire is set to become a literal Mickey Mouse outfit

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THE, duh

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With this buy Disney will finally own the rights to all the Star Wars films (currently Fox own the rights to Star Wars itself). This would make it possible for Disney to re-release the original trilogy as it was filmed, without George Lucas' later vandalism.

FBI tells Jo(e) Sixpack to become an expert in IoT security

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Re: Continuous product and service improvement

I think the article ratings were removed due to abuse. There were groups of readers who would down rate anything by certain authors without reading them.

Former ZX Spectrum reboot project man departs

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It was probably known as a Timex. Both the ZX81 and Spectrum were sold in North America under the Timex brand.

UK.gov told: Your frantic farming of pupils' data is getting a little creepy

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Lord Hyde of Ashton?

Only when he drinks the secret formula!

I, Robot? Aiiiee, ROBOT! RSA TLS crypto attack pwns Facebook, PayPal, 27 of 100 top domains

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Re: So..... People Using Libraries Are Liable To Get Pwned

"OSS works great when people put back in what they take, not so much when they dont..."

I don't think that every user of say OpenSSL contributing to the code is a good idea. For a start many of them do not know how to program, even among those who do most will not know how to write encryption software without introducing more holes than a colander made of Swiss cheese. I'd rather the few users with appropriate domain knowledge contribute than every user.

Lifestyle pin-up site Pinterest: Hack attempts blamed on 'credential stuffing'

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Re: Parisite

As far as I can tell the point of Pinterest is to pollute every image search query with useless results. That and the usual social media data slurp.

An object failure: All in all, it's just another... file system component?

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"You can count the object storage vendors who don't have a file access functionality on the digits of a fingerless mitt."

A confusing metaphor since a fingerless glove actually has digits even though the name sounds like it doesn't. So did the author mean there are less than 5 vendors without file access features or none?

Google and pals rush to repair Android dev tools, block backdoor risks

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Re: How long have they been aware of these?

Since May: https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/12/06/android_ides_vulnerable/

As the singularity approaches, neural network pens black metal album

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WTF is math metal?

Brit MP Dorries: I gave my staff the, um, green light to use my login

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So it is *utterly preposterous* to assume that the user sat at a Parliamentary computer is the user who is logged into it yet that is exactly the kind of assumption made when prosecuting a member of the public because their IP address was used to download MP3s, hack NASA or DDOS Sony. Clearly its one rule for the pigs and another for the rest of the animals.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the failest mobe of all?

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"iPhone 6s introduced force feedback ("Taptic Engine") and the S7 Edge and S8 curved screens."

I must have imagined the curved screen on my S6 Edge and I think the Note released the same year.

Crown Prosecution Service is coming for crooks' cryptocurrency

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Illegal goods are illegal goods, the law does not care who owns them now and they would still confiscate the cryptocurrency.

Ad-filtering fiend Eyeo: Morning has broken, like the first morning

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Lies, Damn Lies and Advertising

"the ad industry has got serious about removing the worst excesses of ad design"

Hahahaha. The 16 different trackers on this story alone prove that statement to be false.

Win 10 creators update offers new reality opportunity

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Re: If only I could install it

You're not missing anything. MS MR headsets don't seem to be available in the UK and so far I haven't found any useful new features in the Fall Creator's update. There was nothing useful in Creator's Update either which considering I'm a developer and use Windows to "create" every day is either exceedingly bad naming or a lack of features in these updates.

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"Samsung with... the newly announced Windows Mixed Reality headset, the HMD Odyssey."

Unfortunately not available in the UK. :(

Scotland, now is your time… to launch Brexit Britain into SPAAAACE!

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@GBE Re: They're going to move it.

"Kilt's make a bit more sense in warmer climes as well."

Clearly you have never worn one. You might think that your tackle would be cold in the winter but with a decent kilt being 6 - 8 yards of wool with a weight of up to 16 oz / yard they keep you very warm.

Digital Entrepreneur Awards help UK tech cop an eyeful of... WTF?

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It is entirely possible to value and respect women and enjoy watching them dance. Acting like a feminazi is going to end up counterproductive.

Do these people complain how skimpily the dancers are dressed at the ballet?

'Treat infosec fails like plane crashes' – but hopefully with less death and twisted metal

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"victim blaming – commonplace in infosec – isn't helpful"

When the hack occurred because the victim wilfully ignored standard procedures, allowed known holes to exist in their infrastructure and acts like Experian, Uber or Talk Talk then they deserve to be shamed and there are no lessons to learn.

Abolish the Telly Tax? Fat chance, say MPs at non-binding debate

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Re: Telly Tax or Adverts

" Telly Tax or Adverts

That's what it comes down to in the end."

No it really doesn't. On the odd occasion that I watch broadcast TV (currently approx 1 hour per week, not the BBC) I find the adverts to be intolerable, because I normally don't see any adverts at all while watching Netflix. Netflix make better shows than the BBC and don't have adverts so tax or ads is not the only choice.

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"If we do not want bland uniformity, an organisation that can encompass Radio 4 and Radio 6 Music and make programmes varying from EastEnders to The Sky at Night is an important thing to preserve."

And all of it total crap. I don't watch anything on the BBC or made by the BBC (with the exception of a couple of very old shows on Netflix). How is it that Netflix can make everything from House of Cards to The Expanse without a license fee? Give me Netflix, HBO and Starz over the BBC any day.

Microsoft scoops Search UI out from the gaping black maw of Cortana

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Re: That's funny ...

Just type. Works exactly like in Win7.

It is funny how often people complain about things that are missing / don't work in Win10 that are actually present and work exactly like Win7.

You're such a goober, Uber: UK regulators blast hushed breach

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Re: Will Uber Go Under?

Hahahahahaha. Funniest thing I've read all day.

Most of their customers won't know or even care.

Just look at how Talk Talk were largely unaffected by their data breach, or at how many people still use Uber after all the sexism, rape, assault, theft, etc cases.

Baaa-d moooo-ve: Debian Linux depicts intimate cow-sheep action in ASCII artwork

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"This package contains cows which some may consider to be offensive. Please do not install this package if you or your users are easily offended."

Apparently some people need to spend more time reading the package description and less blindly clicking OK to install.

Germany slaps ban on kids' smartwatches for being 'secret spyware'

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Re: Good news, bad reporting

Google Translate isn't just "not really usable" it's completely wrong on a regular basis. Especially when translating German to English.

How is 55 Cancri e like a Sisters of Mercy gig? Astroboffins: It has atmosphere

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55 Cancri e

A Black Planet with an atmosphere of Adrenochrome.

MPs draft bill to close loopholes used by 'sharing economy' employers

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This would have repercussions in other industries that you are not expecting. Many charities use support workers on zero hour contracts for various valid reasons. Your suggestion would cripple charities with greatly increased labour costs and be detrimental to the care of the disabled and other vulnerable groups.

DNS resolver will check requests against IBM threat database

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Re: Silent single point of failure


Hint: "70 points of presence in 40 countries"

Help desk declared code PEBCAK and therefore refused to help!

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PEBCAK for a mobile world

A few weeks ago I invented a new version of PEBCAK for a mobile world...

A few days after a Moodle upgrade I received a call that a user was unable to login to the system. I was unable to replicate the issue so went back to the training dept. for more info and was told the user was on a phone, in a caravan and had since managed to login. I closed the call with my new acronym:


Problem Exists Between Screen And Fat Fingers!

Drone maker DJI left its private SSL, firmware keys open to world+dog on GitHub FOR YEARS

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hired a third-party research firm

Called Equifax.

Or possibly Deloitte.

Prosecute driverless car devs for software snafus, say Brit cyclists

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Perhaps the autonomous cycle could look like this?


Does UK high street banks' crappy crypto actually matter?

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"Customers not being able to access online banking because the bank stubbornly insists on strong crypto is a far bigger concern than the crypto being broken,"

I could not disagree more vehemently. Crooks being able to steal MY money from the bank because some clueless user is still using IE6 and the bank want to be compatible is completely unacceptable. Online banking is a bonus, having your money secure trumps that since you can always phone, visit a branch or use an ATM.

Splunk prototyping DevOps efficiency measurement tool

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Happy/sad buttons

That sounds terrible. Are devs forced to press one button or the other before leaving? Are they in a separate room that only has room for 1 person so it is really anonymous or can other people see which one you press? Writing code for a bank sounds pretty soul destroying as it is but mandatory happy/sad buttons would definitely stop me working there.

What do Vegas hookers, Colombian government, and 30,000 other sites have in common? Crypto-jacking miners

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Re: also apps?

You're late. The crypto jackers already have apps mining Monero et al in the app stores. Just check the numerous articles here and on Ars in the last few weeks.

Apple succeeds in failing wearables

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@David Lawton

> I have to now really think who does NOT own an Apple Watch out of the people i know.

I've never seen an Apple Watch, or any other wearable except fitness devices like the Fitbit.

> It very accurately monitors my calorie burn throughout the day

Are you a professional athlete or morbidly obese? Why do you need your calorie burn constantly monitored?

> i use it to pay for things in shops

I find cash convenient or a card if I don't have enough on me, neither will ever run out of battery when I need them. Anyone I've seen paying by phone takes longer than I do to pay by cash.

> it makes using the underground in London easier and safer (no getting wallet out in congested areas)

You have a bit of obvious expensive electronics on your arm. Are you sure that makes you safer?

> is handy for taking calls in situations where using your phone would be akward, ie whilst cooking.

If you absolutely can't pick up the phone then don't. That's what the answering service was invented for.

> I like being able to skip tracks without having to get my iPhone out of my pocket when walking and my next calendar appointment on the watch face is a handy reminder.

Oh the effort required to get my phone out of my pocket, one of these days it'll give me a hernia. Oh you know, not.

> Add to this its watching my heart rate in the background now and will let me know if something irregular is happening

Have you suffered a heart attack, have a congenital defect or arrhythmia or are in imminent risk of a heart attack? If not why do you need your heart rate constantly monitored?

Softbank gets Uber A-OK for $9bn investment cash splurge

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Re: Fools and their money

RoI would be better if they put 1 beeellion each on 10 random entries for next year's Grand National.

Android at 10: How Google won the smartphone wars

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Palm had colour touchscreen devices for years before the XDA was a thing. Handspring even made versions that were phones as well as PDAs. None of my Palms ever had a keyboard.

UK Home Sec thinks a Minority Report-style AI will prevent people posting bad things

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Five years for having a Ranger's fan in your home?

We're not saying Uncle Sam has lost control on Twitter, but US Embassy in Riyadh just did a shout out for oatmeal

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Re: Abandoned usernames?

READ THE ARTICLE! All your questions are answered therein.

Would insurance firms pay out if your driverless car got hacked?

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Re: A one-way street

An over-the-air update to a Google car could change the microphone for Google Assistant to always on and sending everything back to base. That would not require the update process to be phoning home and would be feasible with an independent, third-party handling updates but would be undesirable in a car occupied by members of the MoD. Not to mention I wouldn't want it to happen in my car.

It's not like they don't have form for that kind of thing...

will.i.am's tech tat biz is going enterprise, snags $117m from Salesforce

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Unlike William does it know how to write his name correctly?

Pixel-style display woes on your shiny new X? Perfectly normal, says Apple

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just the current state of Samsung's OLED

Funny that I don't / didn't see these problems with my Galaxy S8+, S6, S3, S...

ATM fees shake-up may push Britain towards cashless society

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If anything I'd like more ATMs, not less.

I still use cash on a daily basis. The shop I buy my lunch from does not take cards, nearby corner shops either don't take cards, require a minimum transaction of £10 or charge a fee for processing cards. And, as the article notes it is much easier to control spending when you can actually see how much you're handing over and not just blindly type your pin into a machine.


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