* Posts by DagD

54 posts • joined 10 May 2017

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US vending machine firm plans employee chip implant scheme

DagD

Signal the end times...

They've taken the mark of the Beast!

Damn those snackages....

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.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / .-. . .- -.. / - .... .. ... then a US Navy fondleslab just put you out of a job

DagD

Morse Code.

Now with Crypto Load.

Break out your crazy eights...

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Forgotten your Myspace password? Just a name, username, DoB will get you in – and into anyone else's, too

DagD

YourSpace

Use to dabble in creative writing. Had several peaces posted to "myspace".

Then they destroyed my content. No luck with any archiving trick to recover my dabblings...

you can have your space back.

FU.

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Brit neural net pioneer just revolutionised speech recognition all over again

DagD

The new bio metric?

By the time they work out all the finite identifiers that makes each voice unique, the bad guys will have adopted the technology to "fake" other peoples' voices by sampling a voice pattern then generating a speech algorithm.

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Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

DagD

More blah from the science community...

That bear is a water creature. All aquatic life will be long destroyed by pollution before the sun goes super nova.

Try again.

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What did OVH learn from 24-hour outage? Water and servers do not mix

DagD

was wondering why we had a downtick in hits from the outside

OVH Down = bad day for malware dispensers.

oh well...

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Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

DagD

Where's my Nanner?

Get a job, you filthy ape...

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Hackers able to turbo-charge DJI drones way beyond what's legal

DagD

License to Operate...

...and Oh! Goody!!! we can open up a new government department, sort of like fish and game that goes around looking for control units, make the operator produce a license and possibly land plane to inspect vehicle to ensure it has not been "jail broken" (I'm sure we can make this a handy plug in device that inspects the OS, possibly even force update firmware to ensure that old vulnerabilities have been patched...)

Wonder what the pension options will look like...

;-/

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Adult toy retailer slapped down for 'RES-ERECTI*N' ad over Easter

DagD

They're prudes; they don't want to fuck (that's what they say in public anyway)...

wouldn't that be "Fucking prudes can fuck on"?

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DagD

Rubbing the holy bishop raw...

Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.

Colonel: What is it, son?

Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant--

Jet Pilot: Dick! Dick, take a look out of starboard.

Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge--

Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker!

Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Where?

Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Oh goodness, it's not a bird, it's--

Army Sergeant: Privates! We have reports of an Unidentified Flying Object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with--

Baseball Umpire: Two balls!

[looking up from game]

Baseball Umpire: What is that? It looks just like an enormous--

Colonel: Johnson!

Radar Operator: Yes, sir?

Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

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Brit military scolded for being too selfish with sexy high-end tech

DagD

COTS and security blankets

I always thought the idea of COTS (commerical off the shelf) software in a military environment was a bad idea.

Instead of pleading with Microsoft - replace them.

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Trump tramples US Constitution by blocking Twitter critics – lawsuit

DagD

"Not my President"

@#therealdonaldtrump You're not my president.

>>> Stop harrassing me

@#therealdonaldtrump No - you are going to listen to your constituents!

>>> Thought I wasn't your President...

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Microsoft drops Office 365 for biz. Now it's just Microsoft 365. Word

DagD

why sell software...

when there are countless dumb arses out there that will pay a "subscription" (i.e. pay for the software over and over again...).

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Microsoft hits Alt-F4 on 3,000 global sales staff

DagD

Does this mean an end to the extortion calls?

You know... the "our account shows you need to buy X more copies of our product to keep your status with us" calls?

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Nothing could protect Durex peddler from NotPetya ransomware

DagD

No rain suit could weather the storm...

Now their assets are in bind.

Pressed hard, there was little choice left, but to choke on fulfilling orders...

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Crackas With Attitude hacker 'Incursio' gets two years in the clink for embarrassing CIA boss

DagD

wave of the future malware

The next generation malware will be able to analyze bits of recorded conversation (think youtube) to extract dialect and voice fingerprints to synthesize a person's voice for profit. Will probably have about 80% accuracy in fooling someone who knows the person if it's a quick conversation.

Of course the voice analysis is only half the battle. The massive deception will also require having extensive insight on the victim you are attempting to impersonate (think facebook).

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It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

DagD

still surprised...

...that they haven't come up with usb compatible dildos that can be Rc'd in a "chat" room.

Now that's hot!

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DeepMind needs to think about the broader implications of its tech – report

DagD

Forty Two...

once you know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means.

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Shock: NASA denies secret child sex slave cannibal colony on Mars

DagD

Cover Up

Didn't Bill Clinton take a private shuttle to the red planet last year???

Jeffrey Epstein is up to something...

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Tick-tick... boom: Germany gives social media giants 24 hours to tear down hate speech

DagD

"no one should be above the law"

accept Hillary Clinton... Hillary is "above the law".

albeit, that's not Germany's fault.

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Oh my Word... Microsoft Office 365 unlatched after morning lockout

DagD

I love the soft fluffy cloud....

...BUT

Everything doesn't belong in the cloud.

Some people just gotta get burned to learn the flame is hot. Software as a Service? Great idea, until the cloud rains or there's a problem at your last mile, then it's

Clouds in my coffee... Clouds in my coffee...

Hide under your desk and wait for the phone calls to go away...

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Huge ransomware outbreak spreads in Ukraine and beyond

DagD

FYI...

an OTX share has flagged the email addy:

wowsmith123456@posteo.net

https://otx.alienvault.com

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No way to sugarcoat this: I'm afraid Uranus opens and closes to accept particle streams

DagD

I'm just glad they didn't start another uproar by announcing we are down to 7 planets in our solar system.

Sorry Uranus, there's no room for you.

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DagD

Re: It's always fascinating when they probe Uranus.

someone sounds uptight.

=P

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Braking news: AA password reset email cockup crashes servers

DagD

Braking News!

Just don't cause a pile up trying to log in to change that password (you don't want to "break" anything). You won't get in right now anyways...

har... har...

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Donald Trumped: Comey says Prez is a liar – and admits he's a leaker

DagD

Re: Impeachment?

failed to turn up anything actionable????

How many classified documents do you have to "mis-handle" before it becomes actionable???

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DagD

Re: Impeachment?

spot on Eddy...

besides...

Good luck getting 2/3 of the majority vote, democrats...

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It's fluffy bottom line time at Adobe. That's a good thing, if you were wondering

DagD

adobe sucks.

Screw Adobe. Who the flip do these people think they are? How do you honestly expect businesses to use your products and turn a profit when you've engineered in this "rent software" don't "own it" mentality.

Sure, there is an advantage that the cloud product should stay "patched" - but really?

Sorry Adobe, but there are other products out there that don't suck. I for one don't need to pay a bounty every year to continue using the products I've already bought and paid for.

Hope your bottom line plummets.

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Reg Radicals lecture encompasses far right, libertarians, and mushrooms...

DagD

Hermit hill

If only we could just go back and get rid of land taxes...

I'd be so done with "society".

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You can't take the pervs off Facebook, says US Supreme Court

DagD

Adults get on facebook?

I thought that site was just a juvenile bashing, political brainwashing experiment gone bad.

Interesting.

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Microsoft's new Surface laptop defeats teardown – with glue

DagD

Add it to the pile of coal.

We as consumers need to put our foot down on this disposable nonsense.

If your business plan includes making crap that ends up in the garbage heap after five years, you can keep your gadget.

Where's my pitchfork when I need it???

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Hotheaded Brussels civil servants issued with cool warning: Leak

DagD

mandatory Siesta people!

Break out the Dos Sucky, limes and to-kill-ya!

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Japanese robo-tech firm plans Olympic driverless taxi rollout

DagD

buaaaahaha...

The door opened, you got in. (rolls eyes) Hell of a day, isn't it?

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Marissa! Mayer! out! as! Yahoo!-Verizon! closes!

DagD

Am I the only one???

...who desperately wished those names would just disappear for good.

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Congressman drafts COVFEFE Act to preserve Trump's Twitter tantrums

DagD

Where's the Blackberry Bill?

nothing to see here folks. Just Democrats being democrats.

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Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth

DagD

Temporal Causality Loop

Cohrane gets looped on a dram of space whiskey before first flight into space...

me thinks I'll wait for the geiger counter reading though...

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In detail: How we are all pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered – by online biz all day

DagD

Re: RESIGNED

Love the Prisoner.

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Senator blows a fuse as US spies continue lying over spying program

DagD

Reminisce

Remember back when the CIA use to sell Cocaine to fund covert operations? Boy those where the days.

By the way, were is all the heroin coming from???

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DagD

I can answer that question right now.

Everyone, Senator. Every stinking American is caught up in the drag net.

Enjoy your lunch!

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Cloud VMs without sane firewalls is nutty, right? Digital Ocean agrees

DagD

Blocked at the firewall

Digital Ocean is nothing but a hosting platform for scum bags.

Too little, too late D.O.

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Obama's intel chief says Russia totally tried to swing it for Trump

DagD

Reeaaallly....

So Russia wanted a xenophobe as the US President, and not the woman directly responsible for selling them Uranium.

Sure.....

Yes, I would like fries with that.

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July web protest plan: What do we want? Net neutrality! Um, that's as far as we've got for now

DagD

shut down for the day. That'll teach big Government. Hit'em where it hurts. The GDP.

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Cuffed: Govt contractor 'used work PC to leak' evidence of Russia's US election hacking

DagD

Double Standard

Why is Hillary still free???

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Surveillance forestalls more 'draconian' police powers – William Hague

DagD

there goes the easy button

guess its back to hiding encrypted messages buried within readable, but nonsensical data with a system to not only automate the garble, but to extract the intended bit, rebuild the string, then apply the private key to release the message.

More work, but a win / win for black hats. Government makes "no data" safe from backdoor hacks on legitimate users, and they still have their encrypted message flying passed the best IDS.

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Walmart workers invited to shuttle packages

DagD

Sir, I delivered the package. I Promise!

By the way, I need tomorrow off to hook up my new Xbox I just received in the mail....

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Amazon granted patent to put parachutes inside shipping labels

DagD

Watch out for the dust devils.

I think back to my sky diving days, and wonder what sort of plan they have to "disengage" the shoot once it hits the ground.

Oh well, all it will take is for one bird to get caught up in a shoot, or some endanged frog to get squashed and PETA will shut it down.

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Tech industry thumps Trump's rump over decision to leave Paris climate agreement

DagD

Hypocrisy

It's easy to jump on the bandwagon and tongue slash others for "not doing their part", especially when the parties who are positioned to gain from the hysteria are pushing the agenda so hard.

Want to save the world? Start at home. Don't recycle? Don't conserve resources? Run out and buy the latest gadget every six months? Use disposables (to include that $5 dollar cup of coffee every morning...)?

You are just as big a part of the problem.

(and off the soap box I hop).

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'Odour' from AnalTech ramming leads to hazmat team callout

DagD

buttplugs?

https://youtu.be/cUhtv2XOolU

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After stiffing us with Trump, Weiner 'fesses to underage cock shot rot

DagD

coin toss

Is it heads or tails? Everyone is so bloody ready to "forgive" Hillary for blatantly setting up shadow IT services, ignoring the warnings from the IT professionals tasked to protect Government secrets (which may have had the butterfly effect of oh, say Benghazi....)

But omg, someone with some balls in his pants upset the establishment? Must have been Weiner's wiener... Can't have anything to do with Americans actually caring about the Country more than free handouts.

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