* Posts by DagD

102 posts • joined 10 May 2017

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Microsoft president says the world needs a digital Geneva Convention

DagD

Speaking of Microsoft

They need to be more worried about all the scanning nodes that are being hosted in their Azure cloud.

Especially Singapore.

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Equifax Q3 results: Not as bad as you might have hoped – hack only cost biz about $87m

DagD

Of course not, The Federal Government gave them a "Bail Out".

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US government seizes Texas gun mass murder to demand backdoors

DagD

Let me make this very clear

Gun Control:

Aim, breath control, trigger squeeze control. Verify your target and what's behind it before pulling the trigger.

All the "gun control" you need.

You can't regulate Stupid, but you can put a lead injection in it's head.

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The NAKED truth: Why flashing us your nude pics is a good idea – by Facebook's safety boss

DagD

I'm afraid

Someone might steal my identity! Quick, here's a copy of everything needed for my identity, Protect it - trustworthy stranger!

Mean while in next years post:

Facebook has changed it's security standards and will no longer be offering free protection for revenge porn. This will now be a paid service.

If you have submitted your pictures freely to us, we recommend you buy into our paid service as soon as possible, as the security setting on all freely submitted pictures will change to "public".

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Samsung shows off Linux desktops on Galaxy smartmobes

DagD

YES!

finally, I can run an IDS on my smartphone. awesome!

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History shows why geeks will never, ever, ever... get along

DagD

Simply Put...

Sheeple. Those darned sheeple.

=P

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

DagD

Re: PBKAC

"Ma'am, I believe we have found the problem. Please place the computer back in it's original box and return it to the store".

Is it that serious?

"Yes ma'am, you are too stupid to own a computer".

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$10,000-a-dram whisky 'wasn't even a malt'

DagD

On the bright side...

At least it was a Non GMO.

(on the dark side, it probably had trace amounts of DDT).

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Look out, Pepe: Martha Lane Fox has a plan

DagD

alt+printscreen

phish away.

Thank you though for bringing back that retro 90's look.

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Jupiter flashes pulsating southern pole, boffins understandably baffled

DagD

Easy answer

Ripple in the space time continuum. Possibly a tear at the northern end.

Next.

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Man: Just 18 Bitcoin babies and my home is yours

DagD

reminds me of my closet trove of confederate dollars

packed neatly away between my bell bottoms and corduroy pants.

Sitting right on top of my retirement fund consisting of old baseball cards.

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Go on IBMers, tell us what you really think

DagD

Re: I don't mind

how do you feel about converged systems? Relatively new concept?

no, no.... IBM has been doing that for generations.

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DagD

Wish they didn't sell off their server business to Lecrapo.

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Microsoft Azure ████ secret ██ █████ ██ US govt's ███ ███ centers

DagD

Re: Trump

Nothing happens in the Military for at least a year after some brainless child dreamt it up.

Point the finger at Obama.

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DagD

Time to retire.

To Greenland.

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Legacy clearout? Not all at once, surely. Keeping tech up to snuff in an SMB

DagD

"Acknowledging what you don’t know"

The main reason why Cloud is so popular.

"Knowing" what can happen putting everything out in the cloud? The reason why there is a cult group of techies who cringe every time someone brings that crap up.

How quickly everyone has forgotten "Battlestar Galactica"...

My two cents.

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Azure fell over for 7 hours in Europe because someone accidentally set off the fire extinguishers

DagD

is your ISP using BGP?

..Then there are network based attacks

https://www.nist.gov/news-events/news/2017/10/new-network-security-standards-will-protect-internets-routing

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DagD

Rain in the cloud

Oh, the irony. But that's ok... Your salesman has got your back (w-a-a-a-y back...).

Still nice and sunny here in the land of "keep it in-house".

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Call the doctor! WDC's new 14TB spinner has shingled write scheme

DagD

I bet these things are just "Flying off the shelves".

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ISIS and Jack Daniel's: One of these things is not like the other

DagD

Be afraid...

First sign that there may be a "Red Neck" living next door!

=P

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Physicists win Nobel Prize for spotting ripples in fabric of space-time

DagD

Re: This isn't a new discovery...

Thank you, I stand corrected on the proper source. Just off the cuff quoted it from the clip I remember it from.

From Wiki: Source Bill Hicks taken from

Extract from Revelations, London, 1993. The extract is part of the concluding track to the album, called "It's Just a Ride", in which he essentially outlines his world view.

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DagD

This isn't a new discovery...

"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. That we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather"

Tool - Third Eye.

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Commodore 64 makes a half-sized comeback

DagD

Oh, I hope it comes with the cassette tape backup!

I sooo miss typing my programs "over, and over, and over...."

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Nobel Prize for boffins who figured out why you feel like crap after long-haul flights

DagD

Re: It's a start, but how to mitigate the effects? Bright lights, drugs etc

sleep walking, of course =P

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Cisco polishes the axe for more HQ job cuts

DagD

Not surprising...

They had to pay for that kick-arse commercial on their homepage somehow.

Peter Dinklage probably cost at least three jobs with the bar tab (oh wait, that was "Tyrion Lannister" that had the drinking problem - my bad...)

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Have MAC, will hack: iThings have trivial-to-exploit Wi-Fi bug

DagD

Re: Now I'm Confused

Simple. Upgrade, but don't use Apple's Security Keychain for anything.

In fact, good use of "bathwater" (-Hand of God, Season 2). put a bunch of junk passwords in keychain and wait for your accounts to be locked out.

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FireEye pulls Equifax boasts as it tries to handle hack fallout

DagD

Fire Eye...

yeah, you'll get that.

An Anti-biotic may be in order...

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Stand up who HASN'T been hit in the Equifax mega-hack – whoa, whoa, sit down everyone

DagD

those responsible for stopping the hacking have been hacked...

Mønti Pythøn ik den Hølie Gräilen Røtern nik Akten Di Wik Alsø wik Alsø alsø wik Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër? See the løveli lakes The wøndërful telephøne system And mäni interesting furry animals The characters and incidents portrayed and the names used are fictitious and any similarity to the names, characters, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional. Signed RICHARD M. NIXON Including the majestik møøse A Møøse once bit my sister... No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst Nordfink"... We apologise for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible have been sacked. Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti... We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked. Møøse trained by YUTTE HERMSGERVØRDENBRØTBØRDA Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILLMøøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III Miss Taylor's Møøses by HENGST DOUGLAS-HOME Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG Møøses' noses wiped by BJØRN IRKESTØM-SLATER WALKER Large møøse on the left hand side of the screen in the third scene from the end, given a thorough grounding in Latin, French and "O" Level Geography by BO BENN Suggestive poses for the Møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER Antler-care by LIV THATCHER The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked. The credits have been completed in an entirely different style at great expense and at the last minute. Executive Producer JOHN GOLDSTONE & "RALPH" The Wonder Llama Producer MARK FORSTATER Assisted By EARL J. LLAMA MIKE Q. LLAMA III SY LLAMA MERLE Z. LLAMA IX Directed By 40 SPECIALLY TRAINED ECUADORIAN MOUNTAIN LLAMAS 6 VENEZUELAN RED LLAMAS 142 MEXICAN WHOOPING LLAMAS 14 NORTH CHILEAN GUANACOS (CLOSELY RELATED TO THE LLAMA) REG LLAMA OF BRIXTON 76000 BATTERY LLAMAS FROM "LLAMA-FRESH" FARMS LTD. NEAR PARAGUAY and TERRY GILLIAM & TERRY JONES

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When one size doesn't fit all in cloud security

DagD

Re: "You want to move from an on-premises Office suite to Office 365 in the cloud."

I'm less concerned about the government - I have no delusion that they don't already have access to anything they want.

What concerns me is this pivotal shift of Sales having priority over people who have made it their professional livelihood to do things in a secure manner.

"You want to move to our service, but you want a to be able to use this nifty new app you found for 50 cents online? Oh, sure we can do that for for a small fee..."

Yeah, that's your neighbor one shelf over in the cloud.

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It's happening! Official retro Thinkpad lappy spotted in the wild

DagD

easy access hard drive??? Plz, plz plz!!!!

of course the legacy touchpad is a must.

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Thousands of hornets swarm over innocent fire service drone

DagD

Re: Paraffin is the answer

Great balls of fire.

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DagD

Finally - a reason to buy a drone.

Now to figure out how to attach a can of raid and fire remotely....

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Belarus declares war on imaginary country within borders of Belarus that is better than Belarus

DagD

Sounds like the Krasnovians have moved on from their came on Death Valley.

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Siemens patches one security vuln, leaves folks to block second

DagD

someone had to say it...

siemens plug hole.

Child expected in Nine months.

Man stuck in the middle.

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Intel ME controller chip has secret kill switch

DagD

To be fixed in the next patch

"We are quite sure that Intel ME is unable to exit this mode because we have not found code capable of doing so in the RBE, KERNEL, and SYSLIB modules." (quote taken from original Positive Technologies post)

count on an NSA patch to this oversight in future releases.

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Chrome wants to remember which Websites to silence

DagD

a step in the right direction

Now if they would just listen to my suggestion to embed a personal ACL so that websites you refuse to visit stop showing up in searches, it would be a happy day.

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San Franciscans unite to smite alt-right with minefield of doggy shite

DagD

biological warfare

sounds like a terrorist action to me. Not to mention this is California....

I'm sure some endangered turtle or something is going suffer - lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit.

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Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

DagD

Most likely, she refused to go down with the dingy

erm... sub.

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Q: How many drones are we bombing ISIS with? A: That's secret, mmkay

DagD

Re: Most likely answers

"we don't know" is probably most accurate. One department doesn't know what the next is doing when it comes to the military/government.

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DagD

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.

Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?

Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

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Atari shoots sueball at KitKat maker over use of 'Breakout' in ad

DagD

breakout fitting

Nestle's chocolate does taste like bricks.

fitting.

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Virtual assistant backlash imminent so buy them anyway

DagD

next generations robocaller

I've been saying for some time now that the next wave in tele-scams is coming in the form of not only voice recognition, but voice recreation. As in the ability to come up with a customization algorithm that will allow an attacker to use voice samples to create a convincing likeness on the phone of someone the victim knows.

Armed with "hacked social media knowledge of the target", the attacker would then be fairly effective in duping the mark into believing they are talking to someone they know.

Think CEO/CFO wire scams, Western Union wires, etc.

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I say, BING DONG! Microsoft's search engine literally cocks up on front page for hours

DagD

muhaha

Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.

Colonel: What is it, son?

Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...

Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.

Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...

Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.

Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?

Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...

Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...

Baseball Umpire: Two balls.

[looking up from game]

Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...

Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.

Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...

Musician: Willie.

Willie: Yeah?

Musician: What's that?

Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...

Colonel: Johnson.

Radar Operator: Yes, sir?

Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.

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Slurping people's info without a warrant? That's OUR JOB, Google, Facebook et al tell US Supreme Court

DagD

I so want that cup!

please tell me they actually exist for order!

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Sun's core in a real spin, but you wouldn't know just by looking at it

DagD

"gravitational waves are the nearly-undetectable ripples in reality"

Wouldn't Facebook qualify as a "gravitational wave"?

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Take that, gender pay gap! Atos to offshore hundreds of BBC roles

DagD

I wonder what the cost of living is there...

Starting to think us IT folk need to move to India in order to keep our jobs.

SMH...

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Kid found a way to travel for free in Budapest. He filed a bug report. And was promptly arrested

DagD

The BKK makes lousy burgers...

oh, that's BK, my bad.

Good luck kid. It's amazing how staunchly stagnant regulations and regulators have become.

We would almost be better off without governments.

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US vending machine firm plans employee chip implant scheme

DagD

Signal the end times...

They've taken the mark of the Beast!

Damn those snackages....

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.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / .-. . .- -.. / - .... .. ... then a US Navy fondleslab just put you out of a job

DagD

Morse Code.

Now with Crypto Load.

Break out your crazy eights...

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