* Posts by johnnyblaze

113 posts • joined 3 Mar 2017


Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure


I see someone didn't hang about getting a video of the event, which probably was uploaded and viral within 10 minutes. Then the Panda haters and the Panda lovers would have both been up in arms across the Internet - and on TV news within the hour, with petitions for and against exterminating all Pandas. All the while, the EU voted to implement Panda privacy laws at the detrement of the Internet as a whole, and a new Panda tax to ensure this never happens again.

In the meantime, the Panda becomes an Internet sensation, on the cover of magazines, with Hollywood lining up to make a movies of the drama. The toddler is recast as a 21 year old starlet, and Johnny Depp is in line to play the Panda (with trade-mark eye makeup!). It's in line for an oscar nomination already by all accounts.

All I can add is - where were this toddlers parents, and why are they incompetent?

Windows Defender update: So secure, it wouldn't let Secure-Boot Windows PCs, er, boot


Re: What are the symptoms

...and while that's very clever of you - should anyone really have to go to that extent in this day and age? MS obviously think their holier-than-though OS doesn't need all these easy to acces repair settings anymore, because it's just do damn great. In reality, Windows now breaks/fails more often than ever, and recovering it manually is now almost impossible.

Ah, I yearn for the days of pressing F8 at boot time for a nice, simple to use list of recovery options...

Trying to log into Office 365 right now? It's a coin flip, says Microsoft: Service goes TITSUP as Azure portal wobbles


Straw poll, what do you think we'll be down to by the end of 2019? If we're still in the Office3xx range, would MS consider that a bonus? Seriously, it's great living in the cloud - you have so much spare time on your hands!

Apple: You can't sue us for slowing down your iPhones because you, er, invited us into, uh, your home... we can explain


Apple don't tell their users anything because they don't want them to know anything! Apple knows best remember, and an informed user is a user who might, just might, start thinking with their own mind, and god forbid, consider leaving the Apple garden, and Cook et al, can't allow that to happen!

While Windows 7 wobbled, AI continued its relentless march at Microsoft


Re: Azure not Linux

Revenue from Windows might not be growing, but MS need people running 10 to feed telemetry into their AI backend, to push ads, generate store revenue and direct users towards their services. Win10 is just a conduit to allow this to happen.

Excuse me, sir. You can't store your things there. Those 7 gigabytes are reserved for Windows 10


So this is on top on Windows already abhorent disk management, whereby the WinSxS folder pretty much keeps a copy of every system file from every update you've ever done, and can grow >20GB itself. Windows will just be an even more bloated sh*tshow now.

Nobody in China wants Apple's eye-wateringly priced iPhones, sighs CEO Tim Cook


Re: Overpriced kit

Do you actually dislike Android, or just Google? Personally, I'd rather have no phone at all than an iPhone.

Crystal ball gazers declare that Windows 10 has finally overtaken Windows 7


Whatever the 'real' usage stats, Win10 has been very problematic for Microsoft - the stability/testing/QA is non-existent and the 'as a service' delivery model is badly broken. It's nothing for MS to reallt cheer about anyway. It's been 3.5 years, and with 1 year as a free upgrade, and Win7 not being available for along time now, it says quite a lot for how people view Windows 10 and how many have been avoiding it. Microsoft are going to have a massive problem on their hands come 2020 when potentially 200m or more PC's are still running Windows 7.

Microsoft flings untested Windows 10 updates to users! (Oh no it doesn't!)


Yes, I'm laughing...

Having read Fortin's overview of how MS go about their patch validation process and which patches people get, it just strikes me that MS are in full damage mitigation mode. Having to release documents like this, where they hope everyone understands how difficult things are for them and that they only want to do their best for you just makes you laugh. Let's be clear, while Windows is no longer Microsoft's poster boy, they WANT you to run it. They NEED you to run it. It's their primary conduit to the subscription services they provide, their data harvesting, their app store (where they hope you spend money) and all manner of other ad driven revenue. If people lose trust in Windows they may switch to alternatives, and once that tide turns, it could get real bad real quick for MS.

Home users due for a battering with Microsoft 365 subscription stick


Never guessed...

Like we didn't all know a Windows 10 subscription service wasn't coming. Of course it was, despite what MS said in the beginning. This is all a precursor to 'desktop as a service' across the enterprise and consumers. Eventually, MS will convience OEM's to start distributing PC's with a new 'subscription' version of Windows 10 - at a reduced cost to them no doubt - to try and get consumers used to the idea of paying for Windows monthly. MS will manage most things remotely, further dumbing down the OS, and removing yet more power user features. I wouldn't be surprised if this or another version of Win10 finally dumps win32 as well, so people are forced to their app store. Mark my words - it's coming.

In 2018, Facebook is the villain and Microsoft the shining light, according to techies


MS may talk the talk these days, embracing competition and joining open-source outfits, but I think this is all a facade. They have their plans, and they won't care for one second whoever or whatever they need to step on to achieve them. MS secure Windows from everyone except themselves, as they syphon off huge amounts of data to their own 'purposes', and push forward with their plans to shift everything to 'as a subcription service' and monetize Win10 users in any way possible.

Right now, they're a wolf in sheep's clothing, until they get all their cards in place.

Do not adjust your set: Hats off to Apple, you struggle to shift iPhones 'cos you're oddly ethical


I'm sorry, that's bull. If you look after your phone, whatever the model, it should last a long time and work reliably. Apple tried to enforce obscelesance in their products when they forced the slowdown of older phones (no matter how they spin it). iPhones generally don't las that long anyway, not because of iOS, but because they're so fragile. I can't remember the last iPhone I saw that didn't have a cracked/broken screen. Not to say other manufacturers don't have the similar issues, but none are as bad as the iPhone.

Surface Book 2 afflicted by mystery Blue Screen Of Death errors



MS have been pushing out duff updates to their own hardware for years. All the Surface range have been plagued with bad updates, firmware issues, compatability problems etc, all excreeted directly from Microsoft's own pig farm.

OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users


It does make me laugh. People falling over themselves to get locked into these 'broken' clouds, being sold it as the best thing ever. If sysadmins had this much downtime on their on-prem networks, they'd be hauled infront of the boss, yet once you're locked into the cloud, your stuck with it. How much money must companies be losing?

1,700 lucky Brit kids to visit Apple Stores for 'Year of Engineering'


Well, whatever. That will be 1800 new, brainwashed believers, and 1800 new iPhones sold at the very least.

Sage CEO: £60m says we can convert more folk to Business Cloud


Many stand by the opinion that the one and ONLY reason the cloud exists is to get hold of user data and drive/force customers to a subscription model, which boosts revenue massively for companies like Sage (well, that's their plan anyway). Everything else plays second fiddle. Once they have you, the idea being they can sell you more subscription 'services'. Revenue, revenue, revenue!

Microsoft confirms: We fixed Azure by turning it off and on again. PS: Office 362 is still borked


Re: Warm and fuzzy

There does seem to be a large number of them too - every other week almost.

Sorry, but NASA says Mars signal wasn't Opportunity knocking


Why doesn't someone just go up there with some Pledge and give it a good dust off. Job done. All those NASA boffins couldn't plan for dust on the solar panels obviously!

Windows 10 Pro goes Home as Microsoft fires up downgrade server


I guess that's actually a joke? Windows 10 is always in beta, and anyone using it is an unpaid MS tester. There's no such thing as RTM now - it's always work in progress. Jeez.


Finally upgraded

I bit the bullett and upgraded my Windows 7 PC at the weekend.... to Windows 8.1! With a 3rd party start menu replacement (Start8 in this case), it's actually very fast and stable, and not a forced upgrade in site. It will give me a few more years grace anyway - before that godawful Win10 looms (or wobbles by that time) onto the horizon for me!

Russian computer failure on ISS is nothing to worry about – they're just going to turn it off and on again


Not Windows 10

I suppose we should be grateful that, because of its age, the ISS isn't running Windows 10. Now that would be a scary proposition.

Commvault revenues grow – but only just – as it switches to subscription pricing


Terrible, just terrible.

Jesus H Christ. Is every single greedy vendor just switching to a subcription model to keep revenue figures up? What happened to buy once, pay 20% annaul maintenance to keep the product under support with the latest updates. Now, you pay 100% EVERY SINGLE YEAR, and the minute you stop paying, you lose access. Companies will literally go bankrupt eventually because of greed mentality. It's all the clouds fault. Never has there been a single, more focused attempt to fleece companies for all their worth by moving their 'services' to the cloud and moving everything to a subscription. I have nothing but contempt for this terrible path we're now all being forced towards.

Wow. Apple's only gone and killed off Mac, iPad, iPhone family... figures for units sold to fans


Not rocket science

Apple are shipping less, or at least flat sales, but are increasing the average selling price, so revenues are up. Not rocket science. The fact they no longer want to report sales numbers, just revenue and profit says it all really. Hide the numbers, just report increased revenue to keep the market and share price happy. MS did that a long time ago, only releasing numbers when it suited them.

Grumbling about wobbly Windows 10? Microsoft can't hear you over the clanging cash register


MS, another sh*t company who care little about their products and support, reaping huge profits AGAIN. Obviously the path Nadella is taking them down is working - everything going to the cloud, forcing companies to pay ever increasing year-on-year subscription costs which certainly helps revenue and looks good on the books. This is why the big megacorps are falling over themselves to offer everything as-a-service - you just keep paying over and over again for the same product, and if you stop paying, you lose access to the product. It's a form of enterprise blackmail with the companies running it holding all the cards.

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs


There are a million abbreviations and other ways of saying it, so it won't change much

Volkswagen links arms with Microsoft for data-slurping cloud on Azure


OMG. Another reason *never* to buy a VW.

Android Phones are 10: For once, Google won fair and square


Sorry, got to add iTunes to that list of dysfunctional crap software. It truly circles the drain, and would teach George Orwell a thing or two about draconian control!

Cisco shift to recurring revenue gives 3.8 billion signs that it's working


HP house here. Good value, reliable kit. Lifetime warranty and barely any stupid 'extra' costs too worry about AND HP are standards compliant.


So, Cisco essentially change their licensing model to squeeze extra cash out of (probably) very annoyyed customers, but hey, it looks great on Cisco's bottom line!

Cisco products are over-priced and not very flexible, and there are plenty of better alternatives out there. We are absolutely *not* a Cisco house, but are working very well thank you.

Ever wanted to strangle Microsoft? Now Outlook, Skype 'throttle' users amid storm cloud drama


Well, if you will put all your eggs in a fluffy thing somewhere out there that's actually just vapour and nothing solid, and expect 99.999% uptime like any decent on-prem datacenter can provide - good luck to you. The fixation with the cloud, and the funniest part - thinking it can actually save you money, will eventually blow up big time, but by that point, with companies facing multi-year lockins, and having already fired their on-prem IT staff and decommissioned their kit, it will all be too late for them.

Apple cops to iPhone 8 production oops, offers to fix borked phones


Apple are so nice to their customers by offering this free repair - because they want their customers to stay loyal and ensure they cough up another grand when they release their next iPhone. Customer loyalty (or in Apple speak 'blind lemming syndrome') is very important to Apple, but their customers money is even more important. They'll do whatever it takes.

Hello 'WOS': Windows on Arm now has a price


WoA will flop. Nobody asked for it, and it only suits MS as it will force people to their App Store and servces. x86 emulation is patchy at best and from all reports, very slow. Customers will just be very confused, and desptite the claimed battery life, no real world tests have lived up to the claims. These days, nobody is that far from a power point anyway.

One problem nobody seems to be look at though is for 'always on' 4G most will need to pay for yet another monthly data package, and with Windows hungry telemetry collection, you could eat through that data very quickly.

HTC U12 Life: Notchless, reasonably priced and proper buttons? Oh joy


Seems like HTC have realised they can't compete at the premium end, so are looking at mid-range again, and I'll be honest, with that spec and that price, I would seriously consider it as my next phone. I'd probably replace the UI with Nova Launcher, but other than that, well done HTC.

£1 in every fiver that UK biz, public sector spent on software in 2017 went to *drumroll* Microsoft


Not surprised with the MS money train. Our company paid MS £0.25m last year just for the privilege of running their software. We didn't do any major upgrades, or change anything, but their SA costs have skyrocketed as they try to push businesses to their cloud subscription services and O365 (and don't even talk to me about those).God-dam scheisters!

Unpicking the Pixel puzzle: Why Google is struggling to impress


The Pixel's are good handsets, but they are just too expensive for what you get. For Google to kill the Nexus line then jump right in at the premium end of the market with HTC made devices was high risk and moderate madness. I still feel that Google should have kept Nexus at the mid-range (which were doing well, and had brand recognition), then start gently with the Pixel line, but maybe at the £5-600 mark and not >£700. The Pixels have two things going for them - the camera and the instant updates straight from Google, but they don't really have any other differentiators.

Also, there's no way I'd buy any phone with a notch - whatever it is. Just plain ugly.

Lo and behold, Earth's special chemical cocktail for life seems to be pretty common


Just why do scientists always think that elements for life on other planets has to consist of what we know about earth? Who'se to say life didn't evolve completely differently, with a different mixture of gases, and 'water' not as we know it. I can understand the habitable zone theory, but even then, couldn't life evolve to exist in much colder or hotter climates. It's a blinkered view, and proves it really is all theory and guesswork.

You: 'Alexa, open Cortana.' Alexa: 'Who?'


Who actually asked for this? Litterally no one. You can bet that Amazon will only see this as another channel to their store, and to get Alexa on yet more devices - for pretty much nothing. Microsoft on the other hand are fighting to stay relevant, so they probably see it as an AI lifeline. In reality, MS are Amazon's bitch, and Amazon have MS bent over a table and are giving it the whole cowboy thing from behind.

HPE flies low-energy Eagle into National Renewable Energy Lab's data centre


Nice. I always wanted an 8-dimensional hypercube topology that provides a high bisection bandwidth myself. That will definately make things faster!

It's a phone with a peel, but you'll have to wait a bit more for retro Nokia


I had the original Nokia 'Matrix' phone many years ago. It was generally a pretty good device, and looked cool, but I can vouch that I too was deeply disappointed it didn't have the spring release on the keyboard cover. It never looked quite the same as the movie when you had to manually pull the cover down!

Microsoft adds subscriptions for SQL and Windows Servers


I don't think it takes a genius to realise that nobody saves money moving to the cloud. Initial sign-up incentives and cloud license bundles are offset by other costs that will eat up any savings you thought you'd make, and often in the end cost you more. Cloud is about lock-in, then selling you other services on top. Once they've got you, they've got you, and it's very difficult to get out.

Hoping for Microsoft's mythical Andromeda in your Xmas stocking? Don't hold your breath


MS hardware is a shit-show. Just look at Surface, a 'premium' brand that's so buggy and unreliable some owners are on their 2nd or 3rd replacement. MS therefore, can't even get their own hardware and software working properly, and yet still think their important enough that they can create a whole new market for a product that nobody is even asking for. It wouldn't surprise me if MS pull out of hardware altogether - it's certainly not a fit fot SatNad's cloud ambitions.

Microsoft Edge bug odyssey shows why we can't have nice things


Re: @Dan 55

LTSB runs Office fine thank you very much. No app store, no Cortana, no Edge, no live tiles. Halleluja!


Re: Edge aka Trident 12. No thanks.

If you're using Windows 10, don't worry, Microsoft are monetizing you, and collecting reams of your info from deep within the OS. You can sleep well at night knowing this now!

Microsoft Azure Europe embraced the other GDPR: Generally Down, Possibly Recovering


Re: MTBF vs Blast Radius

I highly question that comment. Sure, cloud providers have distributed networks with umpteen layers of protection and resiliance, but when they go down, and they do very regularly, they go down spectacularly and take down thousands of customers. On prem solutions may seem 'old hat' now, but a well designed system can be rock solid and reliable, and I'd take a good one over cloud any day of the week.

Facebook's new data centre cooling system takes the heat like Zuck in front of Congress


Very impressive, but I doubt even this could cool all the hot air that comes out of Zuck's mouth. That slimy little weasel could take down any industrial cooling solution!

Dual-screen laptops debut at Asus' Computex chat



Manufacturers are getting real desperate aren't they as the scrabble to create something consumers want but never asked for.

Half of all Windows 10 users thought: BSOD it, let's get the latest build


A mess

Windows 10 is a mess. Plain and simple. It breaks as much as it fixes, adds features nobody asked for and get's more and more intrusive and collects more and more telemetry data. Every major release is plagued with bugs because MS have no internal QA testing process worth a sod. You spend a large percetange of your time with a Windows 10 box just patching a rebooting - it's almost continuous. You don't use a Win10 PC anymore for anything productive, you just watch it reboot.

I just find it amusing as well that so many things in Win10 now just beg you to use MS services, or Edge, or Bing. Latest one I saw when I was forced to use Edge before downloading Chrome 'Why search over there (Google), when you can search here (Bing)'. It's just laughable!

Microsoft and boffins cook up hardware-secured database



If it was devised by humans (and Microsoft in this case), it will have flaws, security holes and other bugs (alongside Microsoft's telemetry collection, which will be set to FULL by default!)

Microsoft gives users options for Office data slurpage – Basic or Full


Why not NONE?

Basically, if MS in any way valued the security and confidentiality of the people who use their software, they would provide a NONE option, and would also make all settings opt-in rather than opt-out. But, the only thing they value is the data they collect, and the more of it the better. MS are truly pond-slime these days, and probably at least as untrustworthy as Facebook (and I personally think Zuckerberg should be expelled from humanity and cast away on a space rock)

Your parents love you, Cortana. That's why we bought you an upgrade


Die bitch

These days, if you've already suffered through the awful Cortana assistend Win10 installer that just drives you nuts, you probably already want to kill her by the time the installation has finished - it is THAT annoying.

It does make you wonder how many more billions MS will throw at Cortana before conceding defeat though - she deserves to die a death by a thousand cuts.


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