* Posts by smilerbaker

7 posts • joined 13 Jul 2018

Poetic justice: Mum funnels £100 into claw machine to win single Dumbo teddy for her kid

smilerbaker

Admission time

I used to own an arcade, and we had claw machines, they are total cash cows and this is how they work

You have 2 setting you can change, one for the power when the claw is at the bottom, so it grabs the booty, and one for the power by the time it reaches the top of the machine, so the power reduces as the claw lifts, and so it drops the booty while its lifting it up, very very occasionally (ie almost never) it will ignore the setting and give a win (assuming you managed to grab the booty in the first place), its always good to have a mug, sorry, punter walking around the place with cheap chinese knock off bart simpson under his arm.

If you want punters to win just max out the power at the top claw position, the electromagnet holds the prize and you win.

Another trick was wrapping some 5/10/20 pound notes round a tube, mugs - sorry, punters would always go for those, except the tubes where loaded with marbles, so you could pick them up but as soon as the marbles moved the tube would slip from the claw.

now, who wants to know about fruit machines lol

Ah, this military GPS system looks shoddy but expensive. Shall we try to break it?

smilerbaker

waste

I worked for a telco that decided to get into the TV market, they bought tens of thousands of digital set top box's and started rolling them out, a few months into it they found that the box's couldn't be upgraded over the air and where hopelessly out of date, no problem, buy a whole new system. Old box's no longer worked, the few customers we had got pissed off and cancelled and we MADE them send the old box's back to us otherwise we'd charge them.

So we paid the postage to get the old box's back, where they sat in a warehouse (which we also had to pay for) where they staid until at least the day I left (many years later), the return postage cost more then the box was worth, someone high up seemed to think they would be also to sell them all. Last I heard (before it was all swept under the carpet) was they where going to hire someone to remove and wipe all the hard discs and sell them on.

I was once one of you, F1 star Lewis Hamilton tells delighted IT bods

smilerbaker

its KARTING people, not carting

smilerbaker

Women in F1 - nothing to do with money, any team would jump at the chance to stick a woman in an F1 car, just look at danica patrick (average driver at best), the sad fact is there are no woman drivers anywhere near fast enough, if suzy wolf couldn't get a drive, when her husband owned a chunk of the team and supplied their engines then that tells you all about her lap times (which where never actually published).

No team is going to stick someone in the car who is 10 seconds a lap off the pace, not that they would ever get the required points to gain a super licence anyway. UNLESS they bring huge amounts of cash with them, Stroll type levels of cash, or for the older folk Diniz levels.

I don't understand peoples gripes with Hamilton, he's damned if he says something and damned if he doesn't, you just come across as jealous idiots.

ZX Spectrum reboot scandal firm's original directors rejoin

smilerbaker

Levy should go work for trump now, they'd be perfect together

Sysadmin trained his offshore replacements, sat back, watched ex-employer's world burn

smilerbaker

years ago I was doing a contract for a large uk insurance co. they decided to outsource all the db dev and dba work to one of the usual suspects, all the local staff where 'let go'.

Fast forward 7 or so months and everything was going titsup, the outsources where less then useless having given all the work to fresh out of uni grads who didn't know their arse from their elbows, prime example being setting date fields to character fields on a date tracked system.

Company then went cap in had back to the team they had let go, they all came back as very very expensive contractors.

Tech support chap given no training or briefing before jobs, which is why he was arrested

smilerbaker

back in the day I worked for an outsourcer, we had a contract at a secure site basically installing some new kit and pc's. The site we worked on also happened to do some rather scary nasty stuff for the mod so a lot of areas where out of bounds and security was very tight indeed, high fences, cameras everywhere only one way in or out, badge access on every door, the usual.

Anyway, step forward new guy, just hired and sent to our site, new guy decided it would be a good idea to try and smuggle his mate on site, at 11pm to go raiding the storeroom of new laptops, back when laptop cost around 6k a pop, security had a field day, of course as soon as he used his pass on the first door out of hours their consoles lit up, they video'd him and his mates every move from the second he entered the carpark and grabbed him as he left arms laden with boxed laptops, he came up with a lame excuse about taking them to install stuff on, of course he was fired. no idea what actually happened to him or his mate, the whole incident was quietly swept under the carpet, amazingly we kept the contract.

another funny thing on that site, they had a cyanide alarm, and chemical suits outside, a nice sign saying in case of alarm put on a suit, there where about 6 of us in the room, and only 2 suits, I often wondered what would happen if the alarm ever sounded.

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