* Posts by TrumpSlurp the Troll

93 posts • joined 4 Mar 2017

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HPE CEO Meg Whitman QUITS, MAN! Neri to replace chief exec in Feb

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Re: Whitman did the right thing

So you are saying that all the previous CEOs did the wrong thing in a long string of takeovers?

For example they borged EDS then proceeded to dismember it and lay off staff.

Looks like most of the remains have been ditched by now. Making it seem a positive thing to downsize after a decade or more of bungled take overs is disingenuous.

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UK.gov told to tread carefully with transfer of data sets to NHS Digital

TrumpSlurp the Troll
WTF?

Opt out good until 2020?

So you have to redo your opt out then?

Will they keep doing this, hoping more and more people will miss the renewal?

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Some 'security people are f*cking morons' says Linus Torvalds

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Alert

Re: Yep, Cook is an idiot.

Came along to post something similar.

The sequence (from reading the article) seems to be roughly:

You can do bad things with memory.

I know, let's whitelist all the good things. Kill all the bad things. Safe now.

Oops! Missed some of the good things. Never mind, here's a fall back mode. Fixed.

{Whimper, grumble, not fair...}

Linus - you fuckwit. If you are going to kill things using a whitelist then run it in debug only mode for a year to confirm your whitelist is rock solid. Don't kill first and apologise later.

On balance I'm with Linus on this one.

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User experience test tools: A privacy accident waiting to happen

TrumpSlurp the Troll
WTF?

Login and payment sessions?

Have I missed something subtle, or are a load of sites key logging both your login session and your payment processing including all credit card details?

Just to check how you navigate a site?

Ummm....if so how do you detect and prevent? There are hints that script and ad blockers may help but no definitive "use these and you should be fine".

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DNS resolver 9.9.9.9 will check requests against IBM threat database

TrumpSlurp the Troll

IoT?

I assume the home user would have to reconfigure the home router to use 9.9.9.9 as first in the list.

Nice idea. Wonder what the real world take up will be?

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Chainmail tires re-invent the wheel to get future NASA rovers rolling

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Thumb Up

Snow chains

Without needing the rubber underneath.

Just in time for La Nina.

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How about that time Russian military used a video game pic as proof of US aiding ISIS?

TrumpSlurp the Troll
FAIL

Re: Pah.

The cry of the terrified and insecure.

If the Brext Bullshitters were confident that they would win another Referendum they would be like "Bring it on. Name the time and place. We'll whip your sorry ass just like the last time!".

Apparently Democracy doesn't allow the public to change their minds as their knowledge evolves. Except for nearly everything else which depends on a public vote.

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'It's back to the drawing board...' Innocent axions found not guilty of dark matter crimes

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Coat

Dark Matter Fudge - revolutionary new slimming product.

The greatest scientific minds agree that Dark Matter is essentially a fudge.

They also agree that it is inherently indetectable. Therefore it won't register on the bathroom scales.

So eat as much as you like and you will not gain any weight. It may look as if the wrapper is empty, but trust me and the Greatest Scientists In The World! Buy one, get two free (included in the original wrapper).

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-> Off to Shoreditch with some free samples.

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Yes, I took Putin's roubles to undermine Western democracy. This is my story

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Thumb Up

I wondered where my kidney came from.

Thanks, Steve!

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DJI bug bounty NDA is 'not signable', say irate infosec researchers

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Trollface

You product is shit!

Thank you.

Sign this and take $30,000. Oh, and you must never speak of this again.

You must never speak of our product again. To anyone.

Sounds a sensible scheme to me if they can get away with it.

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An alternative view is that there is a highly paid research programme. Entry requirements involve locating a significant unknown security bug. After that you are inside and full commercial confidentiality rules apply. You get paid for your research but you don't get to brag about it. Just like the employees don't get to brag in public about the bugs they have found and fixed as part of their job.

I wonder which this is?

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Boffins on alert: Brace yourselves for huge gravitational wave coming within a decade

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Watching for light to detect gravity wave?

I think that was what was said.

Assuming gravity waves travel at the speed of light then as you see the light blink you know the gravity wave just went past.

Obviously missing something, but what?

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MPs slam HMRC's 'deeply worrying' lack of post-Brexit customs system

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Trollface

Loan/rent Kent to the EU

Then you can have a massive staging area with distributed customs clearance centres along both sides of the M2/A2 and also a working model for a soft border which would then be applicable to Ireland.

Do it all on paper, then key it in later.

Remember, people, there's a war on!

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Manic miners, hideous hackers, frightful flaws, vibrating mock cock app shock – and more

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Trollface

Re: Teledildonics?

amanfromMars 3

Successful time travel buggers up your prose style.

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TrumpSlurp the Troll
Paris Hilton

Teledildonics?

You would certainly need a working microphone!

"And then at last the maiden cried

Bum titty bum titty bum titty bum

And then at last the maiden cried

Enough, enough, I'm satisfied!"

And we all know how badly that ended, don't we children?

Oh, and I hate auto correct on this bloody tablet. Took me no end of retyping to get the second line right.

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Fine, OK, no backdoors, says Deputy AG. Just keep PLAINTEXT copies of everyone's messages

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Facepalm

One good thing

Possession of both the encrypted text and the matching plain text should help them work out the encryption key.

For whatever good that would do them (since they already have the plain text).

Did he just say that it is fine to lock the front door as long as you leave all the windows open?

Not the back door, obviously. He knows that would be wrong.

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Fake tech support 'scam' husband and wife banned FOR LIFE from computer repair world

TrumpSlurp the Troll
WTF?

Outrageous sums of money?

And they get a nominal $2M fine but don't have to pay nearly all of it. Just promise not to do it again. No admissions, no criminal record.

Like being beaten around the head with a leaf of limp lettuce.

Where is Judge Dredd when you need him?

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Boss put chocolate cake on aircon controller, to stop people using it

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Windows

Sealed building. Genius design.

Many years ago I worked in a very large office building. Designed and built before the onset of personal computers,

The building was sealed (you needs a special key to open any window) and cold air was fed in one corner of the building (ground floor, I think) and the positive pressure circulated the air up to the farthest point from the input and then out again. (Top floor I think.) Much cheaper than full air conditioning.

Two obvious points; it only worked with all the windows closed, and if someone had a cold everyone beyond that point in the airflow got to share.

Cue lots of PCs and then lots of other computers (Unix was popular). The cooling wasn't up to the job. The first few offices were fine, then the temperature went up. Special key to open the windows in a building full of engineers? Yeah. All the windows open and everyone suffering.

As far as I know they never fixed it but there were a lot of rooms with their own portable air con units with the output bodged into a window or wall.

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Legacy kit, no antivirus, weak crypto. Yep. They're talking critical industrial networks

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Mushroom

Least complicated route

Take your eye off the ball for a few minutes and sales/marketing will have plugged a cheapo wireless AP into the LAN so that they can use their iThings instead of those nasty non-trendy PCs the company has supplied.

Security used to have to walk round the outside of the building on a regular basis checking for Wi-Fi signals. This was in a company with some security awareness.

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Wowee. Look at this server. Definitely keep critical data in there. Yup

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Windows

Permissions?

I think this is set up so that a normal user who can run a search through filestore* (e.g. using find) cannot see it therefore permissions.

So all sysadmin level peeps would have to know about it to avoid it. Unless standard search tools have been modified in which case how does the attacker find it? It must be visible to a compromised user id to work? Puzzled.

*Bootnote. Why does my tablet spell checker on the keyboard keep trying to substitute vibrators for filestore? Has my device been porned?

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Phone crypto shut FBI out of 7,000 devices, complains chief g-man

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Black Helicopters

Mobile phone gives more security?

It is relatively straightforward to get a 3rd party mule to carry your data in all innocence.

The obvious media would be encrypted USB sticks or SD cards.

However these are usually relatively straightforward to attack by brute forcing.

From the article it seems that a phone (or some variants) can give an additional wrapper. You have to compromise the phone before you can even see the data to attack.

This avoids all the issues of call, SMS, and data recording. Just have a friend of a friend take a mobile phone to the destination to be passed on to the friend of a friend. This does of course cause the innocent mule all sorts of problems so to my mind it is mainly a deterrent to people carrying things they cannot unlock through customs. No chance of getting the data but much publicity about not being duped into carrying stuff. Standard question at check in to include "do you own all electronic devices and can you unlock them if requested".

Oh, and if we are punting ways to encrypt data, how about using a computer controlled sewing machine to embroider information into your underwear? Waistband of your boxer shorts or your bra strap for example? War and Peace might take a while and be obvious but code words, encryption keys and passwords would work. Hold on, I may have just invented an alternative password vault. Password, Officer? Just bear with me a minute <zip>.

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'Screaming' man fined $149 for singing 'Everybody Dance Now'

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Windows

Re: singing while non white? @anothercynic

Can I enter a small plea that you match your opening and closing brackets?

Nothing personal, it's just I have the ghost of an ancient programmer screaming in my ear and giving me a headache.

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NYC cops say they can't reveal figures on cash seized from people – the database is too shoddy

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Facepalm

Thank you

For the compelling and attractive tourism infomercial.

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More and more websites are mining crypto-coins in your browser to pay their bills, line pockets

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Facepalm

As others have already said

Why pay the electricity company a lot of money to be able to pay a website a little money?

Cut out the middle man and just have a micro payment platform that transfers money at an agreed rate to authorised sites (occasional use) or have an annual subscription to frequently used sites.

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Thomas the Tank Engine lobotomised by fat (remote) controller

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Re: Self driving trains are low hanging fruit

A train I travelled on the other week was delayed due to "incorrect route offered".

http://www.railforums.co.uk/showthread.php?t=43103 makes for interesting reading.

One of the tasks of UK train drivers is making sure the signallers don't do something sub-optimal. So first make sure that all the signalling and routing is absolutely reliable (including the track side infrastructure used for communicating with the train) and when you have had a few years with zero signalling problems you can then start to consider automated trains. Of course, when some scroat half inches the signalling wires to sell the copper you do have to have some method of taking the trains onto the next good section. Today this would be the driver.

Design , simples.

Infrastructure upgrade? Given that they can't even manage to electrify the network at the moment due to lack of allocated cash I won't be holding my breath.

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Tarmac for America's self-driving car future is being laid right now

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Trollface

Re: Decision matrix sorted?

Depends on the country and the insurance costs.

Most humans would instinctively avoid the child.

The truly fully autonomous car would have time to calculate legal, moral and repair costs then submit a Darwin award application for the loser.

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Who could, of course, be the people who chose to ride in an autonomous vehicle.

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Dyson to build electric car that doesn't suck

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Windows

Death of the diesel?

Electric town cars seem an excellent idea, especially if they have a very small footprint to make better use of the available space. In the specialised environment there are also major pollution benefits. Electric only within city limits could be a very good thing. A bit like the concept of pedestrian precincts. If they are limited to, say, 20 mph this reduces the need for heavy crash protection designed for much higher speed/energy impacts.

However the distribution of goods is still broadly reliant on diesel, from huge lorries down to the white van man.

So getting a 400 mile range on your lightweight electric car isn't going to solve the issue of 3.5 tonne vans distributing your Amazon purchases from central hubs.

In other news electrification of the railways has been cut back because the government has decided that it is costing too much. So the train companies have to buy diesel engines.

I don't think much heavy agricultural machinery is going electric either.

The car is only one aspect of motor transport.

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WDC's My Cloud Home Duo is a natty piece of kit but beware iContent

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Facepalm

Wireless, wireless, wireless, direct connect.........

Hang on, it has an Ethernet port.

So it doesn't connect "directly" to the router but hangs off the local LAN at some point, presumably. Could be behind one or more switches, APs etc.

The impression is that it plugs into a specific port on the router; somewhere up comment I think someone assumed it plugged into a USB port on the router.

USB port...hmmmm...the picture shows a couple of USB ports on the back. Any clue what these are for? Or are they irrelevant if your role in life is to worship at the altar of iShiny?

Not the best review of a NAS I have read.

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CBS's Showtime caught mining crypto-coins in viewers' web browsers

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Paris Hilton

An option for SETI@home?

Just remembered donating spare CPU cycles back in the day.

Which makes me wonder if there is any mileage in running a miner on behalf of a charity using spare CPU cycles, or if it would be more cost efficient (due to the cost of the electricity) to just donate direct

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Welcome to the future: Bluetooth jackets you can only wash 10 times. Gee, thanks, Google

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Trollface

Wasteband?

Is this to avoid comfort breaks on really, really long journeys?

I assume it is located at or below the waist.

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Guess – go on, guess – where a vehicle tracking company left half a million records

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Re: Hidden GPS trackers in vehicles?

Just noting that the security tracking devices in the UK (as found in caravans, motor homes, bicycles, expensive cars) are generally passive and only broadcast when interrogated.

This makes them more difficult to locate by criminals.

The ones described in the article seem to be transmitting all the time so should be fairly easy to locate (at least, the aerial doing the transmitting).

I assume that the vehicle would "go dark" in a car ferry, or a multi-storey car park, or tunnel.so a Faraday Cage may not be necessary for concealment.

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TrumpSlurp the Troll
Black Helicopters

Hidden GPS trackers in vehicles?

Would those be even legal in the UK?

I suppose with informed consent they would be similar to the insurance trackers which charge you on the basis of speed and when you drive. Also to the trackers on delivery vans and HGVs which are used for logistics planning and tracking.

However I think that a release of PII which gave detailed tracking of your vehicle for the last 100 days would have far more serious effects here than in the States.

Do the police have access to this data?

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Researchers promise demo of 'God-mode' pwnage of Intel mobos

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Linux

On the motherboard

Independent from the OS and present in different forms for AMD and Intel.

So even the Magic Penguin (other anthropomorphic OS icons are available, just not here) cannot save us!

Hang on, the bad stuff on the bad processor is being run by Penguins (or close relatives). Woes!

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Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Unhappy

Mock while you can.

Eventually they will improve their skills.

I am o!d enough to remember the mockery of the ear!y attempts by the Japanese to make motorbikes and cars.

Sadly, eventually any group that persists at a task will increase skill levels. Sounds like they are already becoming more commercial!y aware and realising you don't have to write all the code yourself.

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Spanish govt slammed over bizarre Catalan .cat internet registry cop raid

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Happy

Fluffy.cat?

Celebrates independence.

Now where is she?

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You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Windows

Ah, memories.

I remember carrying a portable inkjet printer, my own supply of acetates and pens because at the time everyone had a lowish tech reliable overhead projector but a higher tech thing which could display laptop output was almost guaranteed not to work.

Oh, Millenials may not have seen an OHP.

Think horizontal flat glass screen with a bulb underneath which shines light through a sheet of transparent A4 then uses a mirror and lens on an arm above the glass to project the image at 90 degrees onto a screen or wall. Apart from blown bulbs, quite hard to break.

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US Navy develops underwater wireless battery-charging tech

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Coat

Simples

Just go to the nearest underwater Waitrose car park.

Mine is the waterproof one with the loyalty card in the pocket.->

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Can North Korean nukes hit US mainland? Maybe. But EMP blast threat is 'highly credible'

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Trollface

It makes a refreshing change

For the USA to be in the firing line instead of shipping their military hardware to Europe in the hope that we would soak up most of the nukes and also the ground war over the glowing rubble.

Never fear, when your industry collapses and your people are having to ration food we will be there for you.

Technology and food at very reasonable prices paid for by loans at very reasonable interest rates.

We have, after all, a special relationship.

We will support the Government in Exile and may even allow the golf course to be recognised as US territory.

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Daily Stormer booted off internet again, this time by Namecheap

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Megaphone

TL;DR

I support your right to free speech. That doesn't mean that I am obliged to lend you my megaphone.

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Oh, and is it all Socialists we are against, or just National Socialists?

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Bitcoin-accepting sites leave cookie trail that crumbles anonymity

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Paris Hilton

Don't understand the table

It seems to suggest that there is more tracking if you use tracking protection.

Edit: just too slow. Beaten by AC.

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Trump upgrades Cyber Command, may sideline NSA in future

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Seems a sensible move

Especially as he seems to be fighting all the TLAs at the moment.

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GitHub's CEO resigns. Again. Without scandal, after fixing messes

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Windows

Pulled her code?

I was sadly looking for a double entendre but concluded it would have read better if he had been forced to pull his own code.

I should get out more.

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Software definer wants you to befriend the 'BFC', do a bit of 'reverse virtualization'

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Supercomputer?

Just keep adding chunks of hardware as the computing demand grows?

There does seem to be an assumption that servers are so powerful these days that they can usually (always?) run more than one VM.

Does anyone know of workloads so big they strain one server but can't be distributed?

Met Office, for example, used to need very big iron for weather modelling.

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Australian money cops gain powers to regulate cryptocurrency

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Re: Property is the best way to launder money in Australia

I assume that NZ might get a look in as well.

Plenty of rich Asian property investors there.

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TrumpSlurp the Troll

Regulation? How?

If the exchanges aren't in Australia then regulation may be a problem.

I assume that they will go for the point where real cash is generated or real goods are paid for.

Does that mean that all the outlets which accept Bitcoin, for instance, will have in future to only deal with regulated exchanges?

Popcorn time?

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UK.gov is hiring IT bods with skills in ... Windows Vista?!

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Re: What does "DV cleared" mean?

Direct Vetting (used to be called Positive Vetting) which is where they go through the dustbin of friends and family looking for anything incriminating.

Interesting because the clearance is usually tied to the job and getting DV can allegedly take several months.

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TrumpSlurp the Troll
Coffee/keyboard

3 month gig?

Given the list of technology it would take longer than that to stop laughing.

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...and start crying.

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President Trump to his council of industry CEO buddies: You're fired!

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Trollface

Daily Stormtrooper?

Couple of newspapers here could use that site if it is going free.

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Taken a while but finally here's the first proper smart-home gizmo

TrumpSlurp the Troll

Intelligence in the bulb?

I know we all love a good snipe at IoT, but isn't the reason the intelligence (for want of a better word) is in the bulb is that it is the best way to keep the average luser away from sparky wires? Plug in light bulb, job (almost) done.

All the other suggestions such as smart wiring, smart switches, smart ceiling roses require some change to the physical infrastructure.

For similar reasons, WiFi is much more common in the home than wired Ethernet even though the technically minded usually prefer wires. Man comes and plugs in magic box, job done.

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Alien 'lava lamp' with dying magnetic field orbited Earth a billion years ago – science

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Mushroom

Re: Can't they send some people up there and just not bring them back?

Ummm....

You want to send people on a one way trip to the moon so that they can throw rocks at us?

Icon for probable result once they throw a big one.

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Brit uni builds its own supercomputer from secondhand parts

TrumpSlurp the Troll
Coat

All very well

But can it run Crysis?

O.k......going.....

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