* Posts by Flakk

403 publicly visible posts • joined 27 Jan 2017

Page:

Roses are red, revenge is so sweet. Microsoft extracts a few quid from Corel Office Suite

Flakk
Trollface

Re: Corel still exist?

I guess one person at Corel reads El Reg. Maybe the last one.

Problem? U mad, bro?

Want to know what being good and properly trolled is really like? Try spending a year supporting the steaming pile that was CorelDRAW 5 on Windows 3.1 PCs. That was great fun.

Flakk
Trollface

Re: Corel still exist?

Ohhhh, I thought those places were called abandonware sites.

Sorry, Elon, your Tesla roadster won't orbit for billions of years

Flakk

Re: Obligatory Hitchhiker reference...

By then it will need to have been painted black, and have gathered a few hitchhikers...

"Hey! Starman buddy, how you doing?"

"Very poorly, I suspect."

Corpse! of! Yahoo! drags! emails! of! the! dead! case! to! US! Supreme! Court!

Flakk
Trollface

Should a court-appointed lawyer be allowed to rifle through [a Yahoo!] email account after you die?

Why not? Thanks to Yahoo!'s virtually non-existent security, just about anyone else wishing to has read the account emails.

Can't wait to get to Mars on a SpaceX ship? It's a cold, dead rock – boffins

Flakk

It's a cold, dead rock...

...surprising absolutely nobody that has been keeping track of the scientific data coming from Mars since the mid-1970s. That cold water that you seem to be attempting to fling is pretty tepid stuff.

It doesn't seem likely that we could colonize the outer planets before first establishing a presence on Mars. Nevertheless, do ignore any lobby you please. I certainly do.

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Flakk

To Paraphrase Zaphod Beeblebrox

"Put your gastroenterologist on danger money, baby!"

Drippings pizza? You better believe I'd eat it! I'll put my cardiologist on danger money.

$14bn tax hit, Surface Pro screens keep dying – but it's not all good news at Microsoft

Flakk

Good on Xbox...

...for bringing home some bacon. I suspect that sales of Xbox One X may continue to be brisk in 2018 if GPU manufacturers cannot ramp up supply to overcome the demand from cryptominers.

Microsoft just better hope that their neat-o vapor chamber cooling solution works as well as they say it does. Xbox might not survive another RRoD-style hardware debacle.

New click-to-hack tool: One script to exploit them all and in the darkness TCP bind them

Flakk
Coat

"Oh You Never Would Believe...

...where those Keebler hackers come from."

Mine is the hoodie with the Fudge-Striped Array drives in the pockets.

Fella faked Cisco, Microsoft gear death – then sold replacement kit for millions, say Feds

Flakk
Trollface

Re: Twisting the knife

You have to admit that supervising a corpse that's been dead for over 950 years would be a pretty easy gig.

Ugly, perfect ten-rated bug hits Cisco VPNs

Flakk

Credit Where Credit Is Due

Fixes [...] are available – if you have a Cisco service contract [...] If not, you'll have to ask the Cisco Technical Assistance Center really nicely.

Twice I was in the position where I had to seek security fixes for Cisco gear with lapsed SMARTnet agreements. Twice Cisco came up with the goods, though not after a protracted 20-30 minute phone call with the TAC each time.

I really am grateful that Cisco is committed to supporting even lapsed equipment, but I have always wondered why they don't simply dump their security updates on their website. By all means Cisco, place them behind a registration wall so that you can collect whichever metrics are of interest to you, but is dedicating TAC resources to this truly worth the cost?

No parcel drones. No robo-trucks – Teamsters driver union delivers its demands to UPS

Flakk
Trollface

The Teamsters labor union wants package delivery giant UPS to promise not to replace any of its drivers with drones and self-driving trucks.

"Sure, so long as you promise to never strike again."

GitHub shrugs off drone maker DJI's crypto key DMCA takedown effort

Flakk

Now apply that to getting a source control solution in place ...

So, in your estimation, this is an instance of shabby Shadow IT run amok? Sure, spin up a hosted VM, but why not then use it to run a private Git?

Aut-doh!-pilot: Driver jams 65mph Tesla Model S under fire truck, walks away from crash

Flakk

Darwin Robbed Again

Driver slams into the back of a stationary vehicle at 65 MPH... and walks away! Absolutely astonishing. I don't care for Tesla Motors or their vehicles, but I cannot help but to admire the engineering that kept this doofus alive.

We can only hope that the fire truck had a rear-facing camera active at the time of the crash.

Firms pushing devices at teachers that let kids draw... on a screen? You BETT

Flakk

Collaboration, problem-solving, critical thinking, and creativity skills? How does Cortana address any of these things? At least Clippy lent itself to critical thinking, as you had to work out for yourself how to exorcise it from your computer.

Nominations open for comp restoration gong, the Tony Sale Award

Flakk
Trollface

I'd like to nominate archive.org's Wayback Machine for preserving the Internet as it was before Silicon Valley ruined it.

[This comment best viewed with Netscape Navigator!]

Tax Google and Facebook for a job subsidy scheme? Sigh

Flakk

If you want more public interest unlabeled editorials and advocacy masquerading as journalism, you need a Big Gov IT Project

FTFY

Hospital injects $60,000 into crims' coffers to cure malware infection

Flakk

Or they had tested their backups and like many companies are finding realised it could takes weeks to restore essential services

Physicians, Business Impact Analysis thyselves!

Yay, it's power play day: Conaway prays USA says 'no way' to Huawei

Flakk

Re: Odd legislation

It's not really that odd when you consider two things:

1) The U.S. Code is a vast, labyrinthe nightmare of overlapping and contradictory statutes. I doubt that even the most studied and erudite lawmaker knows them all.

2) Conaway may very well realize that his proposed legislation is redundant, and not care. Every Congresscritter wants to be able to go back home and tell constituents, "Look what I did for you!"

Q: How do you get YouTube to stop funneling ads to your vids? A: Make jokes next to a dead body

Flakk

Re: What ever happened to "Faces of Death"?

Two comments:

1. If he HAD produced his video in the '90s, it would have been behind the counter at the video rental store.

2. People making a big show of taking umbrage at everything (and then having this behavior validated by an echo chamber) is indeed a problem. This... doesn't seem like a problem with "muh feels". This seems more like a problem with a celebrity (albeit Internet celebrity) displaying a shocking lack of humanity. For the lulz.

Flakk

If you do a search for "New Logan's Run Movie", you can find some interesting details. Unfortunately, it sounds like it's stuck in development hell. I'm torn, really. I liked the original, but I think the whole "teen-savior-of-dystopian-wasteland" genre is running out of steam.

Remember those holy tech wars we used to have? Heh, good times

Flakk

Perhaps the Battlefield Has Shifted?

I'm not at all convinced that people have somehow magically become less dedicated to tribalism. I do wonder if the battlefield has changed. Our brave new cloud world has taken away all of our precious on-prem hardware pets and turned them all into cloudy, expendable cows. Few seem to care about hardware anymore, and like them or not, any of the big OSes can run cloud-based workloads (to varying degrees of performance and success).

What's left to fight over, then? Well, are there holy wars raging in the areas of agile methods, development tools, containers, hypervisors, and/or HCI technologies?

Beer hall putz: Regulator slaps northern pub over Nazi-themed ad

Flakk
Trollface

Silly Craig Harker

He should have known that only political activists are permitted to Photoshop faces onto Nazi bodies.

Hold on to your aaSes: Yup, Windows 10 'as a service' is incoming

Flakk

Re: "keeping compatibility with a large user base"

Most users don't look for an OS - the look for applications to perform what the need or like.

Bingo. At home, I would be perfectly happy with "Windows 10 Single-User Program Launcher with Networking Support Edition". I don't need any of the garbage that Microsoft thinks I need. I just need the OS to run the software that I choose.

Mystery surrounds fate of secret satellite slung by SpaceX

Flakk

Re: Probably the work of SPECTRE

The only bad thing about View to a Kill was that Bond stopped the destruction of Silicon Valley.

Well, that and Tanya Roberts. Two... two things!

Whizzes' lithium-iron-oxide battery 'octuples' capacity on the cheap

Flakk

Re: Dear Mr Musk....

Considering that Elon receives significant amounts of grant money from the government, wouldn't it be easier for this team to just cut out the middleman?

Flakk
Trollface

Using digital models, Northwestern found a specific mix of lithium, iron and oxygen ions that will allow the use of oxygen without it escaping the cell.

Escaping, as in rapidly and violently?

Kernel-memory-leaking Intel processor design flaw forces Linux, Windows redesign

Flakk

Re: VMS is calling

The idea of where an ancient bug rears its head depending largely on the migration destination of a bunch of DEC hardware veterans is positively fascinating.

Flakk
Joke

Re: Haven't done a full read through so don't if this has been raised...

>I've been using AMD cpu's since the K series in the late 90's

As you're a long-time AMD fan, would you satisfy my curiosity? Was the increase in your electric bill through the use of Bulldozer-class CPUs offset by the ability to supplement your furnace with your computer during the winter?

Flakk

Re: Is it time?

To just leave my Windows 7 install offline (except for games... I'm not expecting too much exploits through there)

Ben, you might want to consider some additional research. Malware targeting online games and digital marketplaces has been around for quite some time. Comparatively speaking, game consoles probably offer a somewhat reduced attack surface, but hacks of both the PlayStation Network and Xbox Live attest that nothing is 100% secure.

Nvidia: Using cheap GeForce, Titan GPUs in servers? Haha, nope!

Flakk

The More You Tighten Your Grip...

GeForce and TITAN GPUs were never designed for data center deployments with the complex hardware, software, and thermal requirements for 24x7 operation, where there are often multi-stack racks.

That's strange. It's almost like Nvidia has forgotten that numerous enthusiasts have built systems with complex, 4-way SLI that use far more exotic methods for handling extreme thermal requirements (water, liquid nitrogen) than you'd find in a datacenter.

I can think of multiple ways to deploy servers with consumer GPUs outside of a traditional datacenter, yet minimize the increased physical and environmental risks of doing so. Nvidia's hanging this all on a nebulous "datacenter" concept is farcical.

Isn't 2018 supposed to be the year when organizations begin to move 100% of their workloads to the cloud? And also they when machine learning explodes into widespread use? With Nvidia seeking to increase the cost of datacenter usage of their products by 4,000%, can it be both?

ALPHABET TOTALLY LOSES ITS SCHMIDT: Exec chairman Eric quits

Flakk

Usually, when someone steps down like this, there is a major scandal on the horizon.

Sometimes terminal illness is also a factor. I think Schmidt's cavalier attitude toward privacy is revolting, but I don't wish him dead.... merely in a position where he can do less harm.

You've done Google stockholders a service, Eric. Well done, I guess. Now go away.

Google Chrome ad-blocking to begin in February – but what is it going to block?

Flakk

Re: Thanks...

The Computer is your friend. The Computer wants you to have fun and be happy. Happiness is mandatory. If you are not happy, The Computer will use you as reactor shielding.

"The Computer is happy. The Computer is crazy. This, in turn, will drive you crazy."

Best tabletop RPG ever! Any clones that suggest otherwise may report to the nearest convenient disintegration chamber for immediate termination. The Computer is your friend.

UK teen dodges jail time for role in DDoSes on Natwest, Amazon and more

Flakk

Judge Maurice Greene said in his sentencing remarks: "It is a tragedy to see someone of undoubted talent before the courts... You were taken advantage of by those more criminally sophisticated than yourself."

Um... okay?

Facebook flashes ramped-up face-recog tech. Try not to freak out

Flakk

Channeling Dr. House

Luckily, there's an off switch... to placate lawmakers?

"There's not an off switch. There's never an off switch."

Flash bang walloped: Toshiba, Western Digital sign peace treaty over memory chip fabs

Flakk
Trollface

Interesting Imagery

I find the use of Chamberlain's image to be absolutely fascinating. It makes me wonder who El Reg perceives as Hitler in this conflagration.

Put down the eggnog, it's Patch Tuesday: Fix Windows boxes ASAP

Flakk

YMMV

Loaded the 2017-12 Cumulative Update for Windows 10 Version 1709 for x64-based Systems (KB4054517) this morning. Upon reboot, it seems that the OS lost track of my profile. Many of my apps refused to start (*cough*Office 365*cough*). Uninstalling the update returned my machine to functionality.

This one may need to bake a few additional days.

HMS Queen Lizzie formally joins the Royal Navy

Flakk

Absolutely terrible!

I LOLed.

Netflix mulls using AI to craft personalized movie trailers for viewers

Flakk

Echoing my thoughts. I wonder if my ideal trailer would be something like:

[Black Screen]

[NARRATOR]

From none of the minds that brought you anything associated with any over-flogged Disney properties and starring absolutely no actors that regularly make jackasses out of themselves on Twitter, comes a great new comedy with funny bits that you'll actually need to go to the theater to see.

[Movie Title in Arial Bold Centered on the Black Screen]

[Movie Title Fades, Replaced by Movie Credits]

Call me crazy, I might actually go see that.

Tech giants at war: Google pulls plug on YouTube in Amazon kit

Flakk

Ultimately, it's us, the viewers, who suffer in these trade wars.

Really? Interesting. *goes back to switching freely between YouTube and Amazon Prime vids on the PS4, in between marathon holiday gaming sessions*

VMware UK boss quits 'suddenly' – sources

Flakk
Joke

Re: But I thought the virtualised cloud made everything wonderful

There's no such thing as "The Cloud". It's just other people's servers.

Russia threatens to set up its 'own internet' with China, India and pals – let's take a closer look

Flakk
Joke

Re: The collapse of the USSR.....

https://ru.wikipedia.org

I get them mixed up. Is that the one where everything's the fault of "western imperialism", rather than "your Mom"?

Boffins pack more info onto photon for faster quantum key distro

Flakk

Re: qudit?

Are you sure that wouldn't be a quibble?

Flakk
Joke

“Using a four dimensional (d = 4) state space represented by four distinct time bins and its conjugate state space in the Fourier transform domain, we realise a QKD that generates an ultra-high secret key rate.”

I read this once, and it made absolutely no sense. I re-read it, and again I had difficulty coming to grips with the concepts presented. The third time I read it, I used the voice of ST:TNG's Commander Data to carry the words into my mind. As I am conditioned to simply accept the incomprehensible techno-gibberish spoken by that character, I was able to move on.

Why Boston Dynamics' backflipping borg shouldn't scare you

Flakk

Watched the backflip video. It positively reeks of motion capture. A human might need to use its arms to counter-balance prior to and during flip execution. Would a robot really need to do the same?

Personally, I'd much rather watch the hours of outtakes where the robot spectacularly fails again... and again... and again... and...

Amazon to make multiple Lord of the Rings prequel TV series

Flakk

Bored of the Rings

One overblown sexaology of films to rule them all,

One lootbox-ridden game to find them,

One questionable show to bring them all,

And in their boredom bind them.

Chrome update kills unwanted ad redir... WIN A FREE iPad!!

Flakk

RE: Google wants to make sure only their ads appear on your screen.

Exactly. The purveyors of these ads and their networks would probably love to raise the obvious anti-trust complaints against Google, but for the likelihood that Google would probably love to "algorithm" the plaintiff's web presence to oblivion.

Facebook's send-us-your-nudes service is coming to UK, America

Flakk

Re: Hash?

So, the sender edits the image, and tweaks the value of one pixel off in the corner, and now the hash is completely different, which completely defeats the system.

To satisfy my curiosity, I succeeded in changing the hash value of an image I downloaded from a website merely by opening and then saving it with an image editor. I didn't have to modify any pixels at all.

This whole proposition seems like a bizarre social experiment dreamed up by Facebook's BOFH to determine the depth of the userbase's "Peak Stupidity".

Fake-news-monetizing machine Facebook lectures hacks on how not to write fake news that made it millions

Flakk

#FakeEntertainmentNews?

"Jesse Eisenberg is reportedly in discussions to reprise his role as Mark Zuckerberg, who will take over in the power armor for an ailing Tony Stark in the next 'Avengers' movie.

No word yet on how badly Zuckerberg will fsck up J.A.R.V.I.S."

Facebook, Twitter slammed for deleting evidence of Russia's US election mischief

Flakk
Trollface

Huh

So I guess it is possible to rapidly find and delete data from cloud-based systems after all.

Page: