* Posts by Flakk

403 posts • joined 27 Jan 2017

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From Red Planet to deep into the red: Suicidal extrovert magnet Mars One finally implodes

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

Sorry to hear that Mars One was cancelled after your having made the short list.

Consider it nevertheless fortunate that this happenstance likely extended your life. I imagine that you wouldn't have made it beyond the Moon's orbit before your colleagues, thoroughly sick of your crap, pitched you out of the nearest airlock.

Resistance is useless.

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

This is probably the closest that we've ever come to launching a B Ark... and we stopped it?

Well done?

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

One can but hope that this British influence does not lead to a wall erected in the US to divide those who pronounce "scone" correctly.

I wouldn't worry about that. We're too busy enjoying our "crew-saunts" to worry about your "sconces".

Samsung Galaxy's flagship leaks ... don't matter much. Here's why

Flakk Silver badge

Re: No jack, Jack.

Why do these companies all follow along with stupid ideas like removing the headphone jack?

To reduce the thickness and weight of the mobile device? To exploit a technology (Bluetooth stereo headphones) that has been available since 2004?

Don't look at me, I didn't ask for any of that. I also haven't had particular difficulty migrating to the "new" technology, either. Isn't it a bit discordant to complain about £25 headphones to go with a £799 smartphone?

I am just a mapper: Solar drones take to the skies above Blighty

Flakk Silver badge

In addition to mapping, the platform has uses for "urbanisation, land management, environmental change and mapping to support emergency response in the case of natural disasters", according to Neil Ackroyd, co-founder of the company.

And surveillance of the civil population. Don't forget about that.

620 million accounts stolen from 16 hacked websites now for sale on dark web, seller boasts

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Re: Hacked my account?

Now you see, this is a perfect illustration of what is so wrong with society today. So few people seem to take pride in their work anymore.

Mini computer flingers go after a slice of the high street retail Pi

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

Re: I wonder what many people will think...

I'm further imagining their smug turned to horror once they get their new purchase home and realize that they have to assemble it on their own (what's a heat sink?)... and load the OS (what's a RetroArch?)... and that it doesn't come with Siri, Bixby, Cortana, or HeySpyggle.

Inexpensive, yes, but not exactly a toaster.

Flakk Silver badge

Re: Mini computer flingers

I thought exactly the same thing. When did the single-board computer become a mini-computer? Then again, I'm still trying to figure out how intel's bread-and-butter product graduated from being a microprocessor into a full-blown processor.

Lovely website you got there. Would be a shame if we, er, someone were to sink it: Google warns EU link tax will magnify media monetary misery

Flakk Silver badge
Pint

^ x100

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Re: Soon never seems soon enough

Sometimes inertia is the easy way out ...

I'm a big fan of gravity, too, which can come into play quickly if a very heavy, overhead object topples toward the hardware in desperate need of recycling.

Paraphrasing the BOFH: "You cannot always wait for things to happen. Sometimes you have to make them happen."

Only plebs use Office 2019 over Office 365, says Microsoft's weird new ad campaign

Flakk Silver badge

Re: LOL

I think it may have something to do with predictability. These days, it seems that mere revenue is not enough. Companies want predictable revenue, and subscription-based services offer a more predictable revenue stream than one-off purchases.

I bought an Office 365 sub for my daughter when she started college. I kept it after she graduated solely because $10/mo for 1TB of cloud storage isn't a terrible deal. I use it to supplement my on-site backups and encrypt everything I put up there.

Hands up who reuses the same password everywhere, even with your Nest. Keep your hand up if you like being spied on by hackers

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

Nest could, of course, do more

I am amazed that it does not force returning owners to watch a five second advert on the keypad screen prior to allowing them to enter their PIN.

Party pooper Microsoft pulls plug on Party Cluster

Flakk Silver badge

users required a Facebook login or GitHub account to join the party

A Facebook login? Really? Doesn't Microsoft have its own OAuth service?

I won't bother hunting and reporting more Sony zero-days, because all I'd get is a lousy t-shirt

Flakk Silver badge

Re: “Do you have this bean lard mulch with vitamins?”

It's down the aisle from the almond whisky and the kale-infused water.

Amid polar vortex... Honeywell gets frosty reception after remote smart thermostat tech freezes up for a week

Flakk Silver badge
Pint

Re: Cloud = held to ransom

Cannot upvote more than once. Have this.

Good news! Only half of Internet of Crap apps fumble encryption

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

They focused on Android apps rather than iOS

I wonder why?

The D in SystemD stands for Danger, Will Robinson! Defanged exploit code for security holes now out in the wild

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Cause and Effect?

Torvalds discovers his inner nice-guy. SystemD security holes abound. Coincidence?

Say what?! An AI system can decode brain signals into speech

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Re: And people ask

You got tired of being underburdened by student loans?

Raspberry Pi Foundation says its final farewells to 40nm with release of Compute Module 3+

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Re: What do you destroy

How can we find out? There's science to be done!

Vodafone signs $550m deal with IBM to offload cloud biz

Flakk Silver badge

Up to 750 staff transferring to Big Blue. Good luck people... you might need it

They'll be fine if they're not older than 50.

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

Flakk Silver badge

Poor Cl gets no love.

World's first robot hotel massacres half of its robot staff

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

If the BOFH had been there, the robot would have been repurposed to perform pickups from the local pub so that he and the PFY could enjoy a soothing mid-afternoon pint without that whole mucking about with walking to the pub.

Employees complaining about the new company policy replacing intra-office deliveries with email would find area rugs and sacks of quicklime delivered to their offices as an apology.

This must be some kind of mistake. IT managers axed, CEO and others' wallets lightened in patient hack aftermath

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

What?

No canings?

Computing boffins strip the fun out of satirical headlines

Flakk Silver badge

Not to mention that humor is increasingly found to be "problematic".

Who cracked El Chapo's encrypted chats and brought down the Mexican drug kingpin? Er, his IT manager

Flakk Silver badge
Headmaster

Not a County

Sinaloa is actually a state, not a county. Lovely area, especially if you keep to the smaller villages and stay the fsck out of Culiacán.

Just for EU, just for EU, just for EU: Forget about enforcing Right To Be Forgotten outside member states

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Re: Good

EU law applies in the EU, not outside of it.

Now you tell me. I spent 14 months overhauling corporate policy to incorporate GDPR for nothing?

Killer superbugs in space... are something astronauts on orbiting science lab don't have to worry about right now

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Re: Mir

But everything I've learned about slime molds (entirely from roguelikes) is that they're delicious. Why didn't they just chow down?

Zuck's 2019 tech talk tour should tackle the questions Facebook spent 2018 dodging

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Muppet

I can think of about fifteen or twenty experiments I'd like Dr. Bunsen Honeydew to perform on teh Zuckerbrah.

Dark matter's such a pushover: Baby stars can shove weird stuff around dwarf galaxies

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

His work is not compatible with the existence of magnets

How do they work?

Chip-for-tat escalates: Qualcomm's billion-Euro bond to block Apple iPhone sales in Germany

Flakk Silver badge
Unhappy

Thank Goodness We've Found Another Way to Enrich the Lawyers

They were doing so poorly for a while there. /s

Found yet another plastic nostalgia knock-off under the tree? You, sir, need an emulator

Flakk Silver badge

Populous. Bought a 500 just to play it.

Another greybeard has left us: Packet pioneer Larry Roberts dies at 81

Flakk Silver badge

Godspeed, Mr. Roberts, and thank you.

Techie basks in praise for restoring workforce email (by stopping his scripting sh!tshow)

Flakk Silver badge

Re: Recursion is difficult

Please reply if you can read this...

A few reasons why cops haven't immediately shot down London Gatwick airport drone menace

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Re: Special powers

No, but it's not difficult for a motivated legislative body to follow up a ban on drones with bans on balsa wood, shrinkwrap, and radio-controlled servos, either. Better ban rubber bands, too, just to be safe.

Introducing 'Happy Quit', where Chinese smokers are text-spammed into nicotine abstinence

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

Relax, it's some neat Photoshop work – the baby is not actually smoking

Well, obviously. That would be inhuman!

It's the cigarette in the baby's mouth that is smoking.

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

Flakk Silver badge

Re: Bandwidth and storage are miniscule

I imagine it would depend on the audibility of the fart. I suspect they'd use the medical term with an attached probability.

"[Flatus - 89% Probability]"

Algorithm - If "([Flatus >= 80% Probability] x 3) in 30 minute period", deploy ads for simethicone tablets.

Stop us if you've heard this one: Facebook apologizes for bug leaking private photos

Flakk Silver badge

"We have a responsibility to protect your data, and if we can't then we don't deserve to serve you."

But you don't serve "us". You serve the advertisers. "We're" your data cattle. Why would you care about "us" any more than a rancher cares about Bull 2018-2-7-94 being rendered into beef?

An AI system has just created the most realistic looking photos ever

Flakk Silver badge

GAN Output? Nope. Gene Parmesan.

"GENE!"

Astroboffins spy a rare exoplanet evaporating before their eyes

Flakk Silver badge
Joke

Missed Opportunity

If you'd suggested a mini-Uranus sized planet, the whole losing gas concept would have been much more entertaining.

Having swallowed its pride and started again with 10nm chips, Intel teases features in these 2019-ish processors

Flakk Silver badge

Re: Not what Intel has been saying for the past several years

In hindsight, Intel took the wrong path to 10nm - the question is why they refused to acknowledge that for so long when it looked like their competitors were going to beat them to market

When you discover you've made a big mistake, you can either own up to it and correct the error, or CYA and double-down. The latter seems to be a fairly popular option these days.

Virgin Galactic test flight reaches space for the first time, lugging NASA cargo in place of tourists

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

Talking Cargo?

As well as ballast to represent paying passengers (or "talking cargo" as one commercial pilot memorably described those sat at the back of the aircraft)

Says the extremely well-compensated bus driver.

The eulogising of The Mother Of All Demos at 50 is Silicon Valley going goo-goo for gurus again

Flakk Silver badge

Re: Fighting the slide towards hagiography.

Maybe, but if Silicon Valley started out as Gwyneth rather than Ayn, we'd still be using punch cards. Now granted, they'd be very nice punch cards perfumed with $200/oz essential oils, but they'd be punch cards nonetheless.

Taylor's gonna spy, spy, spy, spy, spy... fans can't shake cam off, shake cam off

Flakk Silver badge

I'm not a fan of the surveilance state but I don't see a problem as long as the images are not being stored somewhere.

But that is the problem, isn't it? I've lost count of the number of times we were promised that our data would not be stored, and how many times those assurances were proven false. And those are only the instances of which we are aware.

Get real! Microsoft CTO of AI quits Redmond for real estate biz

Flakk Silver badge
Trollface

As for who might replace Sirosh, we’ve contacted Microsoft and will update if the company responds.

Replace Sirosh with Cortana. It'll be funny.

If you ever felt like you needed to carry 4TB of data around, Toshiba's got you covered

Flakk Silver badge

Re: Bah!

Did you park the heads before moving it?

Time for a little bet on Google? App-building framework Flutter now fitted for more than phones – desktops, too

Flakk Silver badge

Write Once, Run Everywhere

Where have I heard this one before? How long did it take Sun to improve Java beyond its humble "Write Once, Debug Everywhere" beginning? How long will it take Google?

Montezuma's Revenge can finally be laid to rest as Uber AI researchers crack the classic game

Flakk Silver badge

Re: Possible to play this game on Linux?

I haven't played this game since the 80's! I would love to give it a try and see how well it has aged.

STELLAAAA!

Flakk Silver badge

Are They Renting It Out?

I wouldn't mind it finishing "Halo" for me on Legendary difficulty.

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