* Posts by Colabroad

82 posts • joined 24 Jan 2017

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Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban

Colabroad

Re: Man 3D prints face grenade, is saved by police

Critical, but also relatively simple, hence why you can 3D print one (with a somewhat limited amount of success/durability).

I think in some countries they stamp serial numbers on several critical pieces like the barrel or bolt, to prevent this exact sort of thing. Want a second upper? That's fine, just register it's serial number alongside that of your existing upper and lower.

Colabroad

Re: Man 3D prints face grenade, is saved by police

The lower is the part with the serial number, so that's the part that needs a background check to buy.

Which leads us the the slightly insane fact that it's possible to buy the upper, barrel, stock, trigger, etc without any form of checks.

YouTube fight gets dirty: Kids urged to pester parents over Article 13

Colabroad

Re: The favourite weapon of the 21st century

Best way around getting your videos being flagged by Content ID is the copyright deadlock.

http://www.thejimquisition.com/copyright-deadlock-the-jimquisition/

TL:DR, stop ads getting put on your video by purposefully infringing multiple copyrights!

Dell upping its margins again: Precision 5530 laptop will sting you for $13m. Yep, six zeroes

Colabroad

When I was working at a now defunct astronomically named electronics bazaar they would price stock at silly amounts when it needs to be added to the system but hadn't yet been released. It was common with things like video games and Cupertino idiot taxes where the shop would be penalised for breaking street dates.

We didn't usually make it customer facing though...

Clunk, bang, rattle: Is that a ghost inside your machine?

Colabroad

My co-worker at an old job bought some Walkie-Talkies as part of hurricane season prep, he took one home and left the other to charge in the office.

I was working late, probably faffing about with deployment images, when a woman's voice came over the handset, lousy with static, saying "You must find the keys to achieve freedom", then about half an hour later a fragment of a sentence "Your doom will arrive in one minute".

The next morning I asked my boss and he professed no knowledge of the sentences, he had been home alone and had left the other handset in his car overnight. Throughout the week we got a few more cryptic, garbled, or static heavy messages.

Thoroughly unnerved, a few days later I spotted an ad in the paper for an Escape Room type place that had recently opened several buildings away, the penny finally dropped that it would have been at the extreme range of our walkies and they must be using the same frequency!

Florida man won't be compelled to reveal iPhone passcode, yet

Colabroad

Re: Point phone at face - job done.

Some of our Computer User Non-Technicals wanted to use webcams to unlock their PCs with face recognition.

We agreed with the proviso that the company would not pay the cost of plastic surgery to change their "password" every month.

Brit startup plans fusion-powered missions to the stars

Colabroad

Plus he's got some time on his hands now!

Early experiment in mass email ends with mad dash across office to unplug mail gateway

Colabroad

Whilst we're on West Yorkshire lets note the number of place names that begin with a never-pronounced "H"

'Uddersfield, 'Alifax, 'Olme, 'Olmfirth, 'Epworth, 'Onley, 'Ade Edge, 'Olmbridge, 'Ebden Bridge, 'Eckmondwicke, 'Aworth.

Then there's Slaithwaite, which not even the locals can agree on Slath-wait or Slough-it (Slough like Plough) Definitely not Slay-th-wait though, that would be daft!

FCC caught red-handed – again – over its $225 complaint billing plan

Colabroad

I actually think the article was quite kind to the FCC, not once did it call them the "Ludicrously corrupt shower of Jeremy Hunts" they've shown themselves to be.

No one wants new phones – it's chips that keep Samsung chugging

Colabroad

Re: What else IS there?

I was very annoyed to see that the S9+ takes either a second SIM or an SD card, not both at the same time.

Shatner's solar-powered Bitcoin gambit wouldn't power a deflector shield

Colabroad

Re: I forsee tribble at t'mill.

Sometimes you need to Klingon to a joke for a while before the opportunity presents itself

Tesla undecimates its workforce but Elon insists everything's absolutely fine

Colabroad

I'm guessing that means they're paid by the hour rather than salaried.

Colabroad

Re: Also,

I'd be all over a leccy car, I can't physically drive more than 30 miles in any one direction without ending up in the sea so range isn't what I'd call an issue :P

Unfortunately my parking space is two houses away and there's no charging at work, I'm going to have to buy a bigger house first...

Tor-forker Joshua Yabut cuffed for armoured personnel carrier joyride

Colabroad

Re: El Reg 1, world media 0

Technically a pickup with an MG on the back is a light tank.

Hence the term "Technical" (or so I was told).

You blithering Ajit! Huawei burns Pai for FCC sh*tlist proposal

Colabroad

Re: Cute little communists

The US currently has the best government money can buy.

If you have enough money, you can buy it!

Visa Europe fscks up Friday night with other GDPR: 'God Dammit, Payment Refused'

Colabroad

Not Total Inability To Support Usual Payments?

Total Inability To Support Usurious Plastic?

Send printer ink, please. More again please, and fast. Now send it faster

Colabroad

The aforementioned uber-machine takes 3 reams per stack in the tray! Plus two trays for A5 and two for Legal that hold about a ream each.

It is a beast of a machine!

Colabroad

We have an MFD that actually stores two stacks of A4 side by side in the tray, when one stack is depleted the spare gets shunted into place, you can even refill the backup stack whilst it's printing from the first.

Foolish foodies duped into thinking Greggs salads are posh nosh

Colabroad

Re: Other Pie & Cake outlets are available. !!!

If you don't have a baker's scraper a (clean!!) wallpaper scraper will do in a pinch.

Colabroad

I do miss grabbing a sausage bean and cheese melt for breakfast from the Headrow Greggs in Leeds whilst waiting for the bus. It was perfectly located next to the stop for the 72.

I make a Greggs pilgrimage every time I'm back in the UK, much to my other half's disgust!

Beardy Branson: Wacky hyperloop tube maglev cheaper than railways

Colabroad

Re: Wacky?

It's almost like The Register is a tabloid styled publication with a penchant for irreverent headlines.

Oh wait...

You know that silly fear about Alexa recording everything and leaking it online? It just happened

Colabroad

Re: And that....

Even worse, some dialects will sound like "I'll axe her..." and end up with the nosy spy-device reporting you to the plod!

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

Colabroad

When I was working Helldesk for a bank we'd see the occasional reports of on-site engineers tripping the Chop Screen or Fogger, both of which are impressively terrifying to witness.

The first comes down between the tellers and any potential ne'er-do-wells and named after it's effect on any fingers that may be in the way, the second reduces visibility to mere centimeters, both within less time than it takes for the engineer to say "Oh bollocks".

Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

Colabroad

Re: Don't wear high vis

Back when I was working at Comet to make ends meet I was sent to a training day at the flagship store in Hell. My supervisor and I rock up and are asked to wait at the customer service desk.

A lady comes up to us and asks where something is to which the super replies "Sorry love we don't work here."

On seeing the look of confusion spread across her face it dawns on him that whilst he is speaking the truth we were wearing glorious golden orange be-logo'd shirts and corporate ties.

Colabroad

Re: Better safe than sorry?

So it was a microwave in the Gherkin rather than a gherkin in the microwave?

I got 99 secure devices but a Nintendo Switch ain't one: If you're using Nvidia's Tegra boot ROM I feel bad for you, son

Colabroad

Re: Switch replaced WiiU

The Switch did replace the Wii U as Nintendo's "Flagship" console, to the point where new Wii Us are getting hard to find.

It's like the new iPhones replacing the old ones, even though they don't have a headphone jack. Or the XBone replacing the Xbox 360, even though it wasn't originally backwards compatible. Or the N64 replacing the SNES even though it couldn't use the Powerglove.

Boffins find new ways to slurp private info from Facebook addicts using precision-targeted ads

Colabroad

Re: missing the point?

No, no, it's the right to keep the upper limbs of ursidae.

Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted

Colabroad

Re: Obscene? Nah.

Has this spokesvegetable ever seen a schoolboy's exercise book? I can assure you they've seen crudely drawn cocks before!

Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

Colabroad

Re: To be honest

I've come to appreciate the scotch bonnet, (a sweeter cousin of the habernero if my wife is to be believed).

Especially when it's used in jerk chicken cooked/smoked in a grill made of an old metal barrel. I wind down the windows driving past these places just for the smell!

Death in paradise: 'Cyber attack' takes out national government's IT

Colabroad

Re: InfoSec contractor here....

I'm just a support monkey rather than infosec, but moving to the Caribbean was hands down the best decision I've made in my adult life.

Please no Basic Instinct flashing, HPE legal eagles warn staffers

Colabroad

Charles Stross said it better:

Power corrupts

Powerpoint corrupts absolutely

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Colabroad

Re: No spilling needed

It always makes me happy when I can resolve a ticket and the work notes are written purely in abbreviations.

Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

Colabroad

Helmets aren't a distraction, mine was very useful when I hit an icy cyclepath.

Office junior had one job: Tearing perforated bits off tractor-feed dot matrix printer paper

Colabroad

Re: Dot matrix refuses to die

IIRC HBOS still use dot matrix printers for Passbooks.

They don't make that model any more so they're reliant on a slowly dwindling supply of constantly refurbished machines.

I guess the hope is that the stock, topped up by closing a bunch of branches, lasts until the last old fogey with a passbook pops their clogs.

Colabroad

Re: Lost count...

I still get emails from Reed offering me IT jobs in the Cleckhuddersfax and Leedsford area, even a couple of WhatsApp calls.

The offer tends to get withdrawn once I ask if the travel allowance covers transatlantic flights.

Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam

Colabroad

My first job after deciding Uni wasn't for me was as an Xmas temp at Comet.

Laptops and PC's had maybe 5% margin at most. printers, cables, AV, speakers, warranties, etc were where they made their money.

Some of the oilier colleagues (especially in the TV section) would drop sales onto other staff or put them through under a cashier's name to preserve their figures.

Will the defendant please rise? Utah State Bar hunts for sender of topless email

Colabroad

"to the breast of their knowledge"

Bravo sirs, bravo!

Pasties in SPAAAAACE: Cornwall hopes for slice of £50m spaceport cash

Colabroad

Remind me

In Cornwall do they put the jam or the cream on the rocket first?

If they're partnering with a university in Devon do they need to scrape it off and put it back on the "right" way before they launch it?

This could lead to another bunfight at the OK tearooms.

RIP... almost: Brit high street gadget shack Maplin Electronics

Colabroad

Re: Hitting the sh**, they've been rolling down the hill long enough

There was a hackspace across the road from the Leeds Maplins, but they ordered all their components online to avoid the rediculous markup (if Maplin even had it in stock!).

At least the brand serves as a cautionary tale now?

Facebook told to stop stalking Belgians or face fines of €250k – a day

Colabroad

Tintin

Poirot

Jean Claude Van Damme

Mayonnaise on chips

Brussell Sprouts

A convenient way around the Maginot Line

...and that's my knowledge of Belgium exhausted!

What did we say about Tesla's self-driving tech? SpaceX Roadster skips Mars, steers to asteroids

Colabroad

Re: Years from now...

The Spice must flow!

Colabroad

Re: Mars Colony

Nah, deep sea colonies are against the terms of the Benthic treaty, and we want to keep Blue Hades on our side for now.

US broadband is scarce, slow and expensive. 'Great!' says the FCC

Colabroad

The fact my friends in Jamaica can get faster, more stable internet for less money than a good chunk of the US? Hilarious!

Challenging infrastructure? Try a mountainous island in the Caribbean Sea!

Even a lot of the smaller islands are getting FTTP, it is pricey but it puts a lot of connections in the US/UK to shame in terms of reliability and stability.

Beyond code PEBCAK lies KMACYOYO, PENCIL and PAFO

Colabroad

PONTI - Person Of no Technical Importance, i.e. the boss. (Stolen from the army slang for Person of no Tactical Importance, i.e. a civilian)

The presence of a PONTI often causes an excess of HTEA

HTEA - Having To Explain Abbreviations

European court: Let's not kid ourselves, Uber. You're a transport firm, not a 'digital service'

Colabroad

Re: Barcelona, Spain

The birthplace of Judas Priest has prior art to all the other Birminghams, so without qualification most will assume you mean the original.

Much like if you were to talk about the current Monarch you should clarify you mean Queen Lizzie II: Electric Boogaloo rather than the one started by Richard Branson.

5 reasons why America's Ctrl-Z on net neutrality rules is a GOOD thing

Colabroad

Or all the ISPs decide to put their prices up, or they all block access to the sites you want.

Crypto-cash souk Coinbase forced to rat out its high rollers to probing US taxmen

Colabroad

You do realise all the Cayman banks would also give this information to the IRS if they asked.

You want them in a Delaware shell corporation, not as pleasant weather there though.

Lloyds Banking Group to hang up on call centre staffers

Colabroad

Re: Take your money out now - Outsourced IT support for your bank will be a disaster

I used to work in the Lloyds IT Helldesk, one call started "Oh thank god, last time I got put through to India"

I checked the call logs and replied:

"No ma'am, that was <name>, he sits three desks down from me and is a British citizen as of last month."

Not to mention <Name>'s Pakistani accent is more understandable than my Yorkshire mumblings.

NASA tells The Reg: For crying out loud. We're not building flying taxi software for Uber

Colabroad

Re: I am most disappointed

They could at least have started the trials in (Corben) Dallas!

IKEA flat-packs TaskRabbit to crack assembly code

Colabroad

Never had an issue with Ikea stuff myself, put up quite a lot of it over several houses for myself and elderly relatives over the years.

I had an issue with an Argos wardrobe/dresser I was helping a friend assemble, turns out the instructions were actually wrong, I guess serves us right for buying British :P

https://youtu.be/1EBfxjSFAxQ?t=55

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