* Posts by Robert Moore

579 posts • joined 14 Aug 2007

Page:

Fresh docs detail 10-year link between Geek Squad informers and Feds

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: @DougS

BTW how do describe someone who looks the part?

your question is difficult to answer exactly. But if you walk into the washroom, and take a look in the mirror... That's the look.

5
0

My PC is broken, said user typing in white on a white background

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Broken monitor

Who remembers the "Good old days" when you could steal the ball from someone's mouse...

Even more fun these days, is to take some clear (Scotch) tape, and put it over the sensor on the bottom of an optical mouse. This introduces just a bit of randomness to the mouse. Add layers to make the mouse less and less responsive. A piece of non-clear tape makes the mouse not work, and people think their computer has frozen, and the user usually reboots. I did this one April first to an entire office of mice.

7
0

Paul Allen's six-engined monster plane prepares for space deliveries

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Balloons/airships ?

I seem to recall El Reg was working on this Technology.

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/02/08/tridge_lohan_linux_conf/

4
0

You can Ring my bell: Amazon pays ONE BEEEEELLION+ dollars for smart home upstart

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: I just bought a smart doorbell

You should patent this technology. You could be next in line to cash a $1B cheque from Amazon.

0
0

Who wanted a future in which AI can copy your voice and say things you never uttered? Who?!

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Gimp

Couple this tech with the video face replacement tech and there really isn't any good uses for this. Things were scary enough and about to get worse.

You just know someone is already working on a video of Hillary Clinton pegging Donald Trump.

4
1

A dog DNA database? You must be barking

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Would they read them their rights?

You have the right to remain silent, if you give up that right, anything you bark may be used as evidence against you.

Mine is the one with Milkbones in the pocket.

4
0

Opportunity knocked? Rover survives Martian winter, may not survive budget cuts

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Alien

Give it away.

I am sure there is some group of organisation that would be happy to keep it moving around, and sending back data.

Heck, if they asked for donations, I would chip in a few $, I bet they could dig up the $12 million in a few weeks on gofundme.

76
0

Iran: We have defeated evil nuclear-sensing Western lizards!

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: @TheOldGuy "But when we arrested them, they said they had come for fishing and were tourists."

<Don Adams voice> Ah, yes! The old "innocent tourists" trick!

Missed it by that much...

Mine is the one with a shoephone manual in the pocket.

8
0

NASA's zombie IMAGE satellite is powered up and working quite nicely

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Flat Earth Heretic

They have to return otherwise it's obviously a coverup by the Iluminati, even then they were probably brainwashed...

I think you misunderstand. This is not an educational trip, this is a disposal trip.

Just strap them to the side of the rocket. Duct tape should work well enough. Maybe we could talk Elon into sticking one or two into his car before he sends it to Mars.

1
0

Lenovo's craptastic fingerprint scanner has a hardcoded password

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Linux

Security is hard.

Really glad I never setup the fingerprint scanner on my Lenovo laptop.

For that matter, running Linux on it probably doesn't hurt much either. :)

22
2

User stepped on mouse, complained pedal wasn’t making PC go faster

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Reminds me of a story

and, more importantly, playing Solitaire!

In the early days of the internet I spent many a day helping people who had just got their first computer so they could get on the "Information superhighway". Most of these people had little or no experience with computers. The first thing I would do is get them into Solitaire for a a game or two. I used to think of Solitaire as the mouse use trainer.

This was always time well spent. I have never found a more effective method of teaching the basics of mouse use.

34
0

Perv raided college girls' online accounts for nude snaps – by cracking their security questions

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: The very definition of "security by obscurity"

I have been thinking about this for a while. I think it is time fro me to make up some fake biographical information for these types of questions. EG:

Mother maiden name: Stalin

City of birth: Hiroshima

Pets name: Cujo

Elementary school: Goebbels Elementary

You get the idea. Obviously I would need to store these in my password manager.

16
0

President Trump turns out the lights on solar panel imports into US

Robert Moore
Bronze badge

Re: Wonder what the effect will be in the rest of the world?

I hope you are right. Because I was going to look into solar here in Canada in the spring.

0
0

Job ad for designer proves its point with MS Paint shocker

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Polygraph Examiner

What other pseudo-science do they use there? Graphology? Lay Lines? Crystals? Dowsers? Tea-leave readers? Trump?

If you leave out phrenology you need your head examined.

I prefer Reverse Phrenology. Where you change the bumps on the head to change the personality. Cheap and very effective. :)

Mine's the one with a large wrench in the pocket.

21
0

Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

I would have thought that if the earth is moving away from the sun, it will get cooler so we will need global warming to compensate.

But that's me being a cynic with tongue in cheek....

That's it I am headed right out to buy the biggest SUV I can find.

2
0

Is the writing on the wall for on-premises IT? This survey seems to say so

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Angel

I doubt it.

I am starting to see companies pulling back from the cloud.

I am seriously thinking about specialising in systems repatriation.

23
0

Sad-sack Anon calling himself 'Mr Cunnilingus' online is busted for DDoSing ex-bosses

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Long time

15 years with no practice, He will have to give up his title of Mr. Cunnilingus.

I expect he will learn some new oral skills in prison for that long.

Always look for the silver lining.

8
2

China's first space station to – ahem – de-orbit in late March

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: anyone know

What salvage rights exist here? If you lose control of a spacecraft and someone else flies up and fixes it, who can claim ownership?

There was a great documentary on this exact subject.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078681/?ref_=nv_sr_1

0
0

What do we want? Consensual fun times. How do we get it? Via an app with blockchain...

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: What One Desires.....

If your consent to this sexual relationship is predicated on the "100% monogamy" clause then should your partner have an affair without your knowledge...

I trust her not to break our agreement. If the day ever comes that I no longer have this trust, that is the day I leave, and sue for visitation with her dogs.

8
0
Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: What One Desires.....

I want a 100% monogamous sexual relationship, with all the wining and dining aspects too - with a woman who has her own place, as i have mine, and they do not want anything more.

Is this possible - and it would be good if there was an app allowing people to contact one another for this.

You betcha. I have had that exact arrangement for the past 6 years. It is fantastic. You just need to be open and honest about what you are looking for going in.

2
1

A drivers’ guide to upgrading your IT to a hybrid cloud engine

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Here is my

one word guide to upgrading your IT to a hybrid cloud engine.

Don't.

2
0

Azure VMs borked following Meltdown patch, er, meltdown

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Holmes

> This is down for 8 hours and still no ETA. Is this the kind of support we should expect from Microsoft.

yes?

If you are not expecting this level of support from Microsoft, you have not been paying attention.

7
2

SpaceX to try reusing both rocket and spacecraft for historic ISS mission

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Coming soon?

They're not "pre-owned" they're "pre-loved."

3
0

OK Google: A stranger with stash of pirated films is spamming my Google Team Drive

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Thumb Down

I'd prefer Mrs. Clinton's missing e-mails.

You are the only one Bob. She lost (Due to a technicality.) your idiot (Technically) won. Get over it!

36
4

Lap-slabtop-mobes with Snapdragon Arm CPUs running Windows 10: We had a quick gander

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: You can already buy one

You can buy a 64bit arm laptop running Linux for £72. It's called a pinebook.

I would buy one in a second, if they would make the 11" version available again.

0
0

Ex-cop who 'kept private copies of data' fingers Cabinet Office minister in pr0nz at work claims

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

It is known

That 8 out of 10 people admin to looking at porn on the internet, and the other 2 people are liars.

42
2

It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers!

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Mushroom

Re: Dark Star...

I know what I am watching tonight.

Double feature, Silent Running, and Dark Star.

My two all time favourite movies.

4
0

Inside Internet Archive: 10PB+ of storage in a church... oh, and a little fight to preserve truth

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Sounds fine to me

"... we don't archive Facebook very well."

Yes, but it FriendFace went away, nothing of value would be lost.

(Except the Cuke game, that was awesome.)

3
0

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: PBKAC

"I never realised some laptops had an actual volume dial."

Watch out for those WiFi slide switches, too.

When I bought my first laptop, I spent about 10 minutes looking for the WiFi switch. I couldn't find it, and I am deeply ashamed to have to admit I looked in the manual. (Don't judge me!)

8
0

Dumb autonomous cars can save more lives than brilliant ones

Robert Moore
Bronze badge

Re: automatic breaking

When I was a kid, (Several million years ago) my father bought an AMC Hornet Station wagon, bright yellow with fake wood grain panels.

This car had a very robust and reliable implementation of automatic breaking. As I recall the car spent more time in the shop than on the road.

I always felt the yellow colour was quite fitting for a complete lemon.

0
0
Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Angel

Re: Well, duh!

With apologies to the late great George Carlin.

Think of how bad the average driver is, and realise half of them are worse than that.

3
0

Stop worrying and let the machines take our jobs – report

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Pint

Re: Vinod Khosla of Silicon Valley VC fame disagrees

Does programming an AI to automatically turn a malfunctioning server off and on again count? :)

As Roy and Moss showed us so clearly, it doesn't require AI, just a reel to reel tape recorder.

5
0
Robert Moore
Bronze badge
FAIL

Re: Vinod Khosla of Silicon Valley VC fame disagrees

He thinks 80% of IT jobs can be "highly leveraged, maybe replaced" by "AI-type systems"

He is wrong.

For several reasons:

1. There is not, nor will there be any true AI.

2. Expert systems and "Machine learning" do not count.

3. Anyone who has used computers for any length of time has solved a problem with a fix that makes absolutely no sense.

4. There will be no sentient AI. I know I mentioned it twice, but I thought it was important enough to need repeating.

4
1

Apache OpenOffice: We're OK with not being super cool... PS: Watch out for that Mac bug

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Linux

Re: LO vs. AOO

LO is installed with Mint, so its the one I know a bit. But in simple lay mans terms how do the two stack up.

No idea how they stack up. but as a Mint/LO user. I would highly recommend downloading the latest version direct from LO. A lot of updates, and fixes have not made it into Mint yet.

2
0

Beware Paris Hilton's investment advice, SEC tells investors

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV"

Could you look at this mole on my butt?

5
0

French senator demands public inquiry into Microsoft military deal

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Linux

Re: Good

Because MS costs less, is easier to use and is a lower risk than any other realistic option.

Stop. You're killing me. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

Tell the one about Total Cost of Ownership next. It's a real knee slapper. Please...

12
3

Biz quadruples value overnight by adding 'Blockchain' to name

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Angel

Re: I'm gonna go for VC cash now

With my new company "VR DevOps 4DPrinter Neuromorphic SelfDriving BlockChain 5G, Plc"

I am buying stock in that company.

Then selling about a week later.

10
0
Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

International BlockChain Machines

That should pump the stock values up a bit. :)

6
0

Brit cities overrun with middle-aged dronies, reckons survey

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: "Mid-life crisis" is a pejorative term that needs to go!

I mostly agree with you. But I embrace the term "Mid-life crisis".

Take "Mid-life crisis" and make it your own. It is not a pejorative term if you don't accept it as such.

I call my Italian sports car, my "Mid-life crisis mobile."

1
0

Hackers nip into celeb plastic surgery clinic, tuck away 'terabytes'

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Joke

What a bunch of boobs.

Couldn't resist. :)

2
1

Google adds planets and moons to Maps, but puts bits in the wrong places

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Google can now automatically sort photos of animals from pics of people

But can it sort my pron collection?

I'm sorry, Google, AWS and Azure combined, do not have sufficient processing power to complete this task before the heat death of the universe.

3
0

Google isn't saying Microsoft security sucks but Chrome for Windows has its own antivirus

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Linux

Feature creep?

Or layered protection?

Maybe a little of both.

Since I don't use windows it doesn't really impact me, but I will probably keep recommending for non-technical people to use chrome.

I hate cleaning up after virus infections.

9
13

Someone liked dwarf planet Haumea so much they put a ring on it

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Angel

Planet of Ace Rimmers

As soon as I saw the rings I knew it has to be the final resting place of all the Ace Rimmers.

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

Or alternately:

Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas.

1
0

Gartner says back-to-school PC sales failed. IDC says they worked

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: Gartner?

Why are they still in business?

Because they are a fantastic reference.

Whatever they report, or predict. Base you business decisions on the exact opposite, and you're golden.

8
0

How bad can the new spying legislation be? Exhibit 1: it's called the USA Liberty Act

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Meanwhile in a crack den beneath NSA headquarters...

He's got a list... we want it

Can I get a list of all the women over 40 on the naughty list?

It's for research purposes. Really. No, really.

7
0

BYOD might be a hipster honeypot but it's rarely worth the extra hassle

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Megaphone

Just four years ago, Garner reckoned by 2017 half of employers would be leaning on staff to supply their own smartphones or tablets.

Repeat after me:

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

GARTNER IS ALWAYS WRONG!!!!!.

12
0

'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Joke

Re: Diversity works!

Diversity HIRE :: JOB :: Software Engineer @ Amazon<P>

Proof that Amazon hires even the intellectually challenged!

Proof that Amazon hires ONLY the intellectually challenged!

TFTFY

2
7

Scared of that new-fangled 'cloud'? Office 2019 to the rescue!

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: Small-minded men

Also let's just take a census of the people in this building who are actually excited for new Powerpoint animations and then write a policy forbidding them to ever give presentations or lectures.

Your ideas intrigue me and i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

18
0

Limp Weiner to get 21 months in the hole

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Coat

Happy day

Couldn't happen to a more deserving douchebag.

20
0

Don't panic, but.. ALIEN galaxies are slamming Earth with ultra-high-energy cosmic rays

Robert Moore
Bronze badge
Alien

A long time ago,

In a galaxy far, far away...

Imperial StormTroopers had really bad aim.

This is just the fall out from missed blaster shots.

6
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018