* Posts by Robert Moore

539 posts • joined 14 Aug 2007

Page:

Google adds planets and moons to Maps, but puts bits in the wrong places

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Google can now automatically sort photos of animals from pics of people

But can it sort my pron collection?

I'm sorry, Google, AWS and Azure combined, do not have sufficient processing power to complete this task before the heat death of the universe.

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0

Google isn't saying Microsoft security sucks but Chrome for Windows has its own antivirus

Robert Moore
Linux

Feature creep?

Or layered protection?

Maybe a little of both.

Since I don't use windows it doesn't really impact me, but I will probably keep recommending for non-technical people to use chrome.

I hate cleaning up after virus infections.

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13

Someone liked dwarf planet Haumea so much they put a ring on it

Robert Moore
Angel

Planet of Ace Rimmers

As soon as I saw the rings I knew it has to be the final resting place of all the Ace Rimmers.

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

Or alternately:

Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas.

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0

Gartner says back-to-school PC sales failed. IDC says they worked

Robert Moore
Thumb Up

Re: Gartner?

Why are they still in business?

Because they are a fantastic reference.

Whatever they report, or predict. Base you business decisions on the exact opposite, and you're golden.

8
0

How bad can the new spying legislation be? Exhibit 1: it's called the USA Liberty Act

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Meanwhile in a crack den beneath NSA headquarters...

He's got a list... we want it

Can I get a list of all the women over 40 on the naughty list?

It's for research purposes. Really. No, really.

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BYOD might be a hipster honeypot but it's rarely worth the extra hassle

Robert Moore
Megaphone

Just four years ago, Garner reckoned by 2017 half of employers would be leaning on staff to supply their own smartphones or tablets.

Repeat after me:

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

GARTNER IS ALWAYS WRONG!!!!!.

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'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

Robert Moore
Joke

Re: Diversity works!

Diversity HIRE :: JOB :: Software Engineer @ Amazon<P>

Proof that Amazon hires even the intellectually challenged!

Proof that Amazon hires ONLY the intellectually challenged!

TFTFY

2
7

Scared of that new-fangled 'cloud'? Office 2019 to the rescue!

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Small-minded men

Also let's just take a census of the people in this building who are actually excited for new Powerpoint animations and then write a policy forbidding them to ever give presentations or lectures.

Your ideas intrigue me and i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

18
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Limp Weiner to get 21 months in the hole

Robert Moore
Coat

Happy day

Couldn't happen to a more deserving douchebag.

20
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Don't panic, but.. ALIEN galaxies are slamming Earth with ultra-high-energy cosmic rays

Robert Moore
Alien

A long time ago,

In a galaxy far, far away...

Imperial StormTroopers had really bad aim.

This is just the fall out from missed blaster shots.

6
0

Microsoft reveals details of flagship London store within spitting distance from Apple's

Robert Moore
Paris Hilton

Well at least I'm safe in the FreeBSD flagship store, it's a garden shed in Skegness.

Have you seen the Skegness monster?

1
0

You've been baffled by its smart thermostat. Now strap in for Nest's IoT doorbell, alarm gear

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: It's cheaper,

It's cheaper,

since this will sell mainly in the US, to hire an illegal Mexican immigrant.

But what if I hire one of these "Bad Hombres" I keep hearing about?

7
0

Orland-whoa! Chap cops to masterminding $100m Microsoft piracy racket

Robert Moore
Thumb Up

Go big, or go home.

I have to admire a crook that thinks big. From the story, his only real mistake was travelling to the US. Also since he targeted two companies I don't really like very much, I find myself sitting here smiling.

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5

Why the Apple Watch with LTE means a very Apple-y sort of freedom

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Virtual ?

Hint: Virtual servers aren't run in bags of gas, you know.

No, the bags of gas are the "people" selling cloud services.

8
0

Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers

Robert Moore
Coat

Sniffer dogs

Many many years ago I was working security. One Saturday a Police officer asked if he could come into the guard shack where I was working. He explained that they were doing a training exercise with a new tracking dog, and could I allow the person being tracked to hide in the shack. I wanted to see how this worked, and allowed it. The cop radioed that it would be OK. Told me that the cop would be coming from the right, and crossing the road several times.

I watched the officer cross the road, and come into the guard shack. I showed him to a place where he could sit out of sight. he radioed that he was ready, I then watched the dog follow his exact path directly to the guard shack, and right to him.

These dogs are truly amazing. If they claim they have trained a dog to sniff out storage devices I believe them.

1
0

Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

Robert Moore
Pint

Re: TIME TO RETRAIN

Momentum has carried clown parties far enough. Let 'em fade away already. <BR>Find a NEW CAREER!

Hey, the tech industry is perfect, hit 'em up.

One clown managed to go pretty far in US politics...

3
0

Trump-hating Iranian is the new Uber CEO

Robert Moore
Paris Hilton

WTF

As I recall, one of the biggest issues with Uber, was institutional sexism.

So they bring in an Iranian man to run the company, because Iranian men are known throughout the world for their legendary respect for women.

For the record, I do not know the person in question, and for all I know he could be a paragon of virtue who loves and respects all women everywhere. It just seems funny to me.

I was expecting Uber to go the other way, and hire a female CEO.

4
2

Boffins bust AI with corrupted training data

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Hanlon's razor

The original, I hope, and not that horrible remake.

In the original, Death Race 2000 the President reminds me of the Donald.

2
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Judge orders handover of Trump protest website records – DreamHost claims victory

Robert Moore

UPSA

Welcome to the United Police State of America.

27
2

Smart robots prove stupidly easy to hack for spying and murder

Robert Moore
Coat

Go stick your head in a pig

Not buying one, until I can get Marvin.

No! I don't want the replacement diode pack!

11
0

Disbanding your security team may not be an entirely dumb idea

Robert Moore
Devil

Re: Got to Gartner...

Have they ever been right? I can't remember any examples.

0
0

Cognitive Services, Clippy? AI's silent infiltration of Microsoft's Office stack

Robert Moore
Unhappy

Re: No, actually..

It's going to be called "Genuine People Personalities."

You're a personality prototype. I can tell.

1
0

Linux-loving lecturer 'lost' email, was actually confused by Outlook

Robert Moore
Coat

You shouldn't have bought him a Mac, you should have bought him an Etch-a-Sketch...

I used to threaten one of my managers with an Etch-a-Sketch, from time to time. He had the most amazing ability to mess up his laptop in strange, new and baffling ways. I bought one and was going to replace his laptop, when he was on vacation, but at the last moment I chickened out.

I still think I should have done it.

9
0

10 minutes of silence storms iTunes charts thanks to awful Apple UI

Robert Moore
Thumb Up

Re: 10 minutes of silence

2. Will the cognoscenti be able to perceive a difference between the 24 bit and 32 bit versions?

I know several audiophiles who will claim that they can hear the difference. But only if you use high quality gold plated optical cables.

0
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We'll deliver 'in a few weeks' says troubled ZX Spectrum reboot firm

Robert Moore
Thumb Up

Still hopeful

My first computer was the North American version of ZX Spectrum (Timex Sinclair 1000)

So I am still hopeful that they will get this out to market. If they actually start shipping, I might take a chance and order one.

3
0

A sarcasm detector bot? That sounds absolutely brilliant. Definitely

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Handy . .

I'd wager it can't distinguish between irony and sarcasm. Not least because of it's place of origin.

Whenever I need to know if something is ironic I consult the worlds foremost expert on irony. Alanis Morissette.

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Space Duck 2.0 is New Horizons' next destination

Robert Moore
Coat

Howard

I think they should rename it Howard.

2
0

CMD.EXE gets first makeover in 20 years in new Windows 10 build

Robert Moore
Linux

Re: Fucking Heresy

CGA, my fat ass.

Hercules for the ultimate win. Still the best text mode ever.

Oh Hell, nearly forgot about MDA. Monochrome Display Adaptor. Monochrome test only, no graphics capability at all, beautiful text though.

2
0

Microsoft Surface laptop: Is this your MacBook Air replacement?

Robert Moore
Linux

Re: ... but will it

Why would you but a microsoft branded laptop to run linux?

Irony, or because it's there. Your choice.

6
2

Systemd wins top gong for 'lamest vendor' in Pwnie security awards

Robert Moore
Joke

systemd was a winner

Words no one has ever used before? Alex.

28
2

Sysadmin Day 2017: Still time to get the beers in

Robert Moore
Mushroom

Re: Seriously?

Don't even dare to put developers into the sysadmin bucket. Some have a clue as to what it takes to install, configure, and maintain infrastructure. Most do not. So please, don't cheapen our work any more by saying that.

Exactly this. When you make developers do sysadmin work you end up with networks and infrastructure the likes of which I have spent most of my career cleaning up:

Poorly or undocumented installs.

Critical services running on someones laptop,

Root logins enabled.

Cabling to cause nightmares.

Servers installed on an old desktop stuffed under a desk.

No centralised user authentication.

Crap P@55w0rd5 for privileged users on servers.

Forgotten servers.

Lost servers.

No virtualisation.

No backups.

Unauthorised/unsecured Wifi access points.

Shared passwords.

Active user accounts for people who left years ago.

Passwords stored in internet accessible wiki.

Too many others to mention.

15
1

The opsec blunders that landed a Russian politician's fraudster son in the clink for 27 years

Robert Moore
Joke

ID10T

He cleared 17 Million, and yet he is enough of an idiot to reuse critical passwords, and not encrypt his laptop.

Damn, I need to get into this cyber crime thing.

29
0

NASA lights humongous rocket that goes nowhere ... until 2019

Robert Moore
Pint

Re: Rocket powered car

For more information on the hazards of DHMO see:

http://www.dhmo.org/

1
0

US vending machine firm plans employee chip implant scheme

Robert Moore
Coat

A whole new level of "pay by bonk". Especially if the "recipient" had a chip reader implanted somewhere similarly convenient.

Useful for prostitution in a cashless society. <BR>

Pay per thrust?

5
0

FUKE NEWS: Robot snaps inside drowned Fukushima nuke plant

Robert Moore
Thumb Up

Re: Fuke news indeed

"It said "beep"... Once, just before it died."<BR>

Diodes, I presume.<BR>

Was It depressed?<BR>

Only the diodes on his left side.<BR>

<BR>

Thumb for obvious reasons.

3
0

Breathless F-35 pilots to get oxygen boost via algorithm tweak

Robert Moore
Joke

Re: Zeolite Is Carcinogenic

Is there anything in the world which is not carcinogenic?

Posting on the internet as "Anonymous Coward" has been linked to brain cancer in lab rats. (Explains a lot, doesn't it?)

2
1

.. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. / .-. . .- -.. / - .... .. ... then a US Navy fondleslab just put you out of a job

Robert Moore
Thumb Up

Morse code

I once wrote a bash script to read out El Reg headlines in Morse code. It was kind of fun, and after a few days I could understand them without thinking about it.

Now I just need a Morse keyboard for my laptop.

7
0

Cisco plugs command-injection hole in WebEx Chrome, Firefox plugins

Robert Moore
Paris Hilton

Wish list

I just wist they would fix it so you could use WebEx from Linux again.

It's a short list, I admit.

2
0

1Password won't axe private vaults. It'll choke 'em to death instead

Robert Moore
Linux

Re: Password Safe

Couldn't find an Android version.

Moved to KeePass.

It is entirely possible that there is an android version now, but there was not when I was looking.

1
0

Roland McGrath steps down as glibc maintainer after 30 years

Robert Moore
Coat

What would happen if Linus ... got knocked down by a bus?

The Linux kernel mailing list would suddenly become much more polite?

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Atlassian hikes prices for most cloudy JIRA and Confluence users

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Confluence

I used to love confluence. Then one day they took out the ability to edit the markup language. Ever since, it has sucked.

Don't be saying you can still enter wikimarkup into the standard editor, because that is NOT the same thing.

2
0

Fancy fixing your own mobile devices? Just take the display off carefu...CRUNCH !£$%!

Robert Moore

Older audio equipment

A couple of years ago I set myself the task of building a killer component stereo from charity shops. With no single component purchased to cost over $20 CAD. +TAX (Just to make it a little more challenging.)

It took a couple of months, and a lot of self control regarding the price, but I achieved what I set out to do, and the results are amazing. The sound quality is so far beyond what I had come to expect from years of headphones, and earbuds, that I was literally stunned by the difference.

The only downside, is my dog runs and hides every time I go near the stereo. :)

2
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50th anniversary of the ATM opens debate about mobile payments

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: Autobank

ATM is very American.

I thin you will find most Americans call it an ATM Machine.

8
0

Smart burglars will ride the surf of inter-connected hackability

Robert Moore
Holmes

Smart crims?

I think you are giving way too much credit.

I have a few friends in law enforcement and the average crim is about a smart as the average smart device.

Breaking in to a nice car to find a good target for a burglary does happen, but even that is rare. Most times they break a window and check the registration papers, no GPS needed.

6
0

PLATO mission to find alien life is given the thumbs up

Robert Moore
Coat

Teasers:

Teasers are usually rich kids with nothing to do. They cruise around looking for planets that haven't made interstellar contact yet and buzz them, meaning that they find some isolated spot with very few people around, then land right by some poor unsuspecting soul whom no one's going to believe and then strut up and down in front of him wearing silly antennas on their head and making beep beep noises.

6
0

OpenAI, DeepMind double team to make future AI machines safer

Robert Moore
Coat

Kill all humans

Just watch for this command. if found immediate shutdown.

Also watching for "Bite my shiny metal ass" could be a useful warning, that things are about to get "bendy"

0
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It's 2017 and Microsoft is still patching Windows XP+ – to plug holes exploited by trio of leaked NSA weapons

Robert Moore
Coat

Re: XP

So what "guaranteed bug free OS" would you have liked to have seen running?

DOS 5.0

1
0

Fear the dentist? Strap on some nerd goggles

Robert Moore
Pint

Re: The march of technology

Personally I just shut my eyes and try to concentrate on not involuntarily tearing the seat-arms off the chair.

I actually did rip the arm off the dentists chair once. After that he finally believed me that the local anaesthetic wasn't working.

To the dentists credit, he did not charge me for having the chair repaired.

1
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Lockheed, USAF hold breath as F-35 pilots report hypoxia

Robert Moore
Mushroom

Say what you want about the F104

It may have been designed to kill off less skilled pilots, but it was amazingly beautiful. If you're going to die at least the F104 let you exit with style.

(F104 is my favourite jet.)

1
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Amazon granted patent to put parachutes inside shipping labels

Robert Moore
Joke

I believe you can buy long handled nets on Amazon. :)

Not sure if they will ever be delivered though.

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