* Posts by Robert Moore

566 posts • joined 14 Aug 2007

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Job ad for designer proves its point with MS Paint shocker

Robert Moore
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Re: Polygraph Examiner

What other pseudo-science do they use there? Graphology? Lay Lines? Crystals? Dowsers? Tea-leave readers? Trump?

If you leave out phrenology you need your head examined.

I prefer Reverse Phrenology. Where you change the bumps on the head to change the personality. Cheap and very effective. :)

Mine's the one with a large wrench in the pocket.

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Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Robert Moore
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I would have thought that if the earth is moving away from the sun, it will get cooler so we will need global warming to compensate.

But that's me being a cynic with tongue in cheek....

That's it I am headed right out to buy the biggest SUV I can find.

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Is the writing on the wall for on-premises IT? This survey seems to say so

Robert Moore
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Angel

I doubt it.

I am starting to see companies pulling back from the cloud.

I am seriously thinking about specialising in systems repatriation.

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Sad-sack Anon calling himself 'Mr Cunnilingus' online is busted for DDoSing ex-bosses

Robert Moore
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Long time

15 years with no practice, He will have to give up his title of Mr. Cunnilingus.

I expect he will learn some new oral skills in prison for that long.

Always look for the silver lining.

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China's first space station to – ahem – de-orbit in late March

Robert Moore
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Re: anyone know

What salvage rights exist here? If you lose control of a spacecraft and someone else flies up and fixes it, who can claim ownership?

There was a great documentary on this exact subject.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078681/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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What do we want? Consensual fun times. How do we get it? Via an app with blockchain...

Robert Moore
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Re: What One Desires.....

If your consent to this sexual relationship is predicated on the "100% monogamy" clause then should your partner have an affair without your knowledge...

I trust her not to break our agreement. If the day ever comes that I no longer have this trust, that is the day I leave, and sue for visitation with her dogs.

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Robert Moore
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Re: What One Desires.....

I want a 100% monogamous sexual relationship, with all the wining and dining aspects too - with a woman who has her own place, as i have mine, and they do not want anything more.

Is this possible - and it would be good if there was an app allowing people to contact one another for this.

You betcha. I have had that exact arrangement for the past 6 years. It is fantastic. You just need to be open and honest about what you are looking for going in.

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A drivers’ guide to upgrading your IT to a hybrid cloud engine

Robert Moore
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Here is my

one word guide to upgrading your IT to a hybrid cloud engine.

Don't.

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Azure VMs borked following Meltdown patch, er, meltdown

Robert Moore
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Holmes

> This is down for 8 hours and still no ETA. Is this the kind of support we should expect from Microsoft.

yes?

If you are not expecting this level of support from Microsoft, you have not been paying attention.

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SpaceX to try reusing both rocket and spacecraft for historic ISS mission

Robert Moore
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Re: Coming soon?

They're not "pre-owned" they're "pre-loved."

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OK Google: A stranger with stash of pirated films is spamming my Google Team Drive

Robert Moore
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I'd prefer Mrs. Clinton's missing e-mails.

You are the only one Bob. She lost (Due to a technicality.) your idiot (Technically) won. Get over it!

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Lap-slabtop-mobes with Snapdragon Arm CPUs running Windows 10: We had a quick gander

Robert Moore
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Re: You can already buy one

You can buy a 64bit arm laptop running Linux for £72. It's called a pinebook.

I would buy one in a second, if they would make the 11" version available again.

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Ex-cop who 'kept private copies of data' fingers Cabinet Office minister in pr0nz at work claims

Robert Moore
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It is known

That 8 out of 10 people admin to looking at porn on the internet, and the other 2 people are liars.

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It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers!

Robert Moore
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Mushroom

Re: Dark Star...

I know what I am watching tonight.

Double feature, Silent Running, and Dark Star.

My two all time favourite movies.

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Inside Internet Archive: 10PB+ of storage in a church... oh, and a little fight to preserve truth

Robert Moore
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Re: Sounds fine to me

"... we don't archive Facebook very well."

Yes, but it FriendFace went away, nothing of value would be lost.

(Except the Cuke game, that was awesome.)

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Robert Moore
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Re: PBKAC

"I never realised some laptops had an actual volume dial."

Watch out for those WiFi slide switches, too.

When I bought my first laptop, I spent about 10 minutes looking for the WiFi switch. I couldn't find it, and I am deeply ashamed to have to admit I looked in the manual. (Don't judge me!)

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Dumb autonomous cars can save more lives than brilliant ones

Robert Moore
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Re: automatic breaking

When I was a kid, (Several million years ago) my father bought an AMC Hornet Station wagon, bright yellow with fake wood grain panels.

This car had a very robust and reliable implementation of automatic breaking. As I recall the car spent more time in the shop than on the road.

I always felt the yellow colour was quite fitting for a complete lemon.

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Robert Moore
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Angel

Re: Well, duh!

With apologies to the late great George Carlin.

Think of how bad the average driver is, and realise half of them are worse than that.

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Stop worrying and let the machines take our jobs – report

Robert Moore
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Re: Vinod Khosla of Silicon Valley VC fame disagrees

Does programming an AI to automatically turn a malfunctioning server off and on again count? :)

As Roy and Moss showed us so clearly, it doesn't require AI, just a reel to reel tape recorder.

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Robert Moore
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FAIL

Re: Vinod Khosla of Silicon Valley VC fame disagrees

He thinks 80% of IT jobs can be "highly leveraged, maybe replaced" by "AI-type systems"

He is wrong.

For several reasons:

1. There is not, nor will there be any true AI.

2. Expert systems and "Machine learning" do not count.

3. Anyone who has used computers for any length of time has solved a problem with a fix that makes absolutely no sense.

4. There will be no sentient AI. I know I mentioned it twice, but I thought it was important enough to need repeating.

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Apache OpenOffice: We're OK with not being super cool... PS: Watch out for that Mac bug

Robert Moore
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Linux

Re: LO vs. AOO

LO is installed with Mint, so its the one I know a bit. But in simple lay mans terms how do the two stack up.

No idea how they stack up. but as a Mint/LO user. I would highly recommend downloading the latest version direct from LO. A lot of updates, and fixes have not made it into Mint yet.

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Beware Paris Hilton's investment advice, SEC tells investors

Robert Moore
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Paris Hilton

"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV"

Could you look at this mole on my butt?

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French senator demands public inquiry into Microsoft military deal

Robert Moore
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Linux

Re: Good

Because MS costs less, is easier to use and is a lower risk than any other realistic option.

Stop. You're killing me. I have never laughed so hard in my life.

Tell the one about Total Cost of Ownership next. It's a real knee slapper. Please...

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Biz quadruples value overnight by adding 'Blockchain' to name

Robert Moore
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Angel

Re: I'm gonna go for VC cash now

With my new company "VR DevOps 4DPrinter Neuromorphic SelfDriving BlockChain 5G, Plc"

I am buying stock in that company.

Then selling about a week later.

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Robert Moore
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International BlockChain Machines

That should pump the stock values up a bit. :)

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Brit cities overrun with middle-aged dronies, reckons survey

Robert Moore
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Re: "Mid-life crisis" is a pejorative term that needs to go!

I mostly agree with you. But I embrace the term "Mid-life crisis".

Take "Mid-life crisis" and make it your own. It is not a pejorative term if you don't accept it as such.

I call my Italian sports car, my "Mid-life crisis mobile."

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Hackers nip into celeb plastic surgery clinic, tuck away 'terabytes'

Robert Moore
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Joke

What a bunch of boobs.

Couldn't resist. :)

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Google adds planets and moons to Maps, but puts bits in the wrong places

Robert Moore
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Re: Google can now automatically sort photos of animals from pics of people

But can it sort my pron collection?

I'm sorry, Google, AWS and Azure combined, do not have sufficient processing power to complete this task before the heat death of the universe.

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Google isn't saying Microsoft security sucks but Chrome for Windows has its own antivirus

Robert Moore
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Linux

Feature creep?

Or layered protection?

Maybe a little of both.

Since I don't use windows it doesn't really impact me, but I will probably keep recommending for non-technical people to use chrome.

I hate cleaning up after virus infections.

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Someone liked dwarf planet Haumea so much they put a ring on it

Robert Moore
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Angel

Planet of Ace Rimmers

As soon as I saw the rings I knew it has to be the final resting place of all the Ace Rimmers.

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

Or alternately:

Stoke me a clipper, I'll be back for Christmas.

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Gartner says back-to-school PC sales failed. IDC says they worked

Robert Moore
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Re: Gartner?

Why are they still in business?

Because they are a fantastic reference.

Whatever they report, or predict. Base you business decisions on the exact opposite, and you're golden.

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How bad can the new spying legislation be? Exhibit 1: it's called the USA Liberty Act

Robert Moore
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Re: Meanwhile in a crack den beneath NSA headquarters...

He's got a list... we want it

Can I get a list of all the women over 40 on the naughty list?

It's for research purposes. Really. No, really.

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BYOD might be a hipster honeypot but it's rarely worth the extra hassle

Robert Moore
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Megaphone

Just four years ago, Garner reckoned by 2017 half of employers would be leaning on staff to supply their own smartphones or tablets.

Repeat after me:

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

Gartner is ALWAYS wrong.

GARTNER IS ALWAYS WRONG!!!!!.

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'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

Robert Moore
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Joke

Re: Diversity works!

Diversity HIRE :: JOB :: Software Engineer @ Amazon<P>

Proof that Amazon hires even the intellectually challenged!

Proof that Amazon hires ONLY the intellectually challenged!

TFTFY

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Scared of that new-fangled 'cloud'? Office 2019 to the rescue!

Robert Moore
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Re: Small-minded men

Also let's just take a census of the people in this building who are actually excited for new Powerpoint animations and then write a policy forbidding them to ever give presentations or lectures.

Your ideas intrigue me and i wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

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Limp Weiner to get 21 months in the hole

Robert Moore
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Happy day

Couldn't happen to a more deserving douchebag.

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Don't panic, but.. ALIEN galaxies are slamming Earth with ultra-high-energy cosmic rays

Robert Moore
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Alien

A long time ago,

In a galaxy far, far away...

Imperial StormTroopers had really bad aim.

This is just the fall out from missed blaster shots.

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Microsoft reveals details of flagship London store within spitting distance from Apple's

Robert Moore
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Paris Hilton

Well at least I'm safe in the FreeBSD flagship store, it's a garden shed in Skegness.

Have you seen the Skegness monster?

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You've been baffled by its smart thermostat. Now strap in for Nest's IoT doorbell, alarm gear

Robert Moore
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Re: It's cheaper,

It's cheaper,

since this will sell mainly in the US, to hire an illegal Mexican immigrant.

But what if I hire one of these "Bad Hombres" I keep hearing about?

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Orland-whoa! Chap cops to masterminding $100m Microsoft piracy racket

Robert Moore
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Go big, or go home.

I have to admire a crook that thinks big. From the story, his only real mistake was travelling to the US. Also since he targeted two companies I don't really like very much, I find myself sitting here smiling.

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Why the Apple Watch with LTE means a very Apple-y sort of freedom

Robert Moore
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Re: Virtual ?

Hint: Virtual servers aren't run in bags of gas, you know.

No, the bags of gas are the "people" selling cloud services.

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Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers

Robert Moore
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Sniffer dogs

Many many years ago I was working security. One Saturday a Police officer asked if he could come into the guard shack where I was working. He explained that they were doing a training exercise with a new tracking dog, and could I allow the person being tracked to hide in the shack. I wanted to see how this worked, and allowed it. The cop radioed that it would be OK. Told me that the cop would be coming from the right, and crossing the road several times.

I watched the officer cross the road, and come into the guard shack. I showed him to a place where he could sit out of sight. he radioed that he was ready, I then watched the dog follow his exact path directly to the guard shack, and right to him.

These dogs are truly amazing. If they claim they have trained a dog to sniff out storage devices I believe them.

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Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

Robert Moore
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Pint

Re: TIME TO RETRAIN

Momentum has carried clown parties far enough. Let 'em fade away already. <BR>Find a NEW CAREER!

Hey, the tech industry is perfect, hit 'em up.

One clown managed to go pretty far in US politics...

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Trump-hating Iranian is the new Uber CEO

Robert Moore
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Paris Hilton

WTF

As I recall, one of the biggest issues with Uber, was institutional sexism.

So they bring in an Iranian man to run the company, because Iranian men are known throughout the world for their legendary respect for women.

For the record, I do not know the person in question, and for all I know he could be a paragon of virtue who loves and respects all women everywhere. It just seems funny to me.

I was expecting Uber to go the other way, and hire a female CEO.

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Boffins bust AI with corrupted training data

Robert Moore
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Re: Hanlon's razor

The original, I hope, and not that horrible remake.

In the original, Death Race 2000 the President reminds me of the Donald.

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Judge orders handover of Trump protest website records – DreamHost claims victory

Robert Moore
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UPSA

Welcome to the United Police State of America.

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Smart robots prove stupidly easy to hack for spying and murder

Robert Moore
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Go stick your head in a pig

Not buying one, until I can get Marvin.

No! I don't want the replacement diode pack!

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Disbanding your security team may not be an entirely dumb idea

Robert Moore
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Devil

Re: Got to Gartner...

Have they ever been right? I can't remember any examples.

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Cognitive Services, Clippy? AI's silent infiltration of Microsoft's Office stack

Robert Moore
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Unhappy

Re: No, actually..

It's going to be called "Genuine People Personalities."

You're a personality prototype. I can tell.

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Linux-loving lecturer 'lost' email, was actually confused by Outlook

Robert Moore
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You shouldn't have bought him a Mac, you should have bought him an Etch-a-Sketch...

I used to threaten one of my managers with an Etch-a-Sketch, from time to time. He had the most amazing ability to mess up his laptop in strange, new and baffling ways. I bought one and was going to replace his laptop, when he was on vacation, but at the last moment I chickened out.

I still think I should have done it.

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