* Posts by Chris Jasper

29 posts • joined 13 Aug 2007

Waiter? There's a mouse in my motherboard and this server is greasy!

Chris Jasper

Re: I'm not surprised in the slightest

I can attest to this, just lost half a stone thanks to a greasy kebab

6
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Microsoft kills Windows Vista on April 11: No security patches, no hot fixes, no support, nada

Chris Jasper

I remember going to a Microsoft presentation for a release of Exchange after Windows 7 had been released and the MS staff there all referred to Vista as "A previous Microsoft operating system", turns out they were not allowed to say Vista which we all twigged in a few minutes and spent the rest of the session trying to get any of them to utter the word.

Good times,,,,

3
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The Psion returns! Meet Gemini, the 21st century pocket computer

Chris Jasper

Sinclair'ey stuff

Looks great, lets hope it's more successful than the Vega Plus has been so far, anyone seen an actual release date for that recently?

0
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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Chris Jasper

ZX81 with the rampak stuck on with white tack to stop it crashing the beast every time you jogged the table

5
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Grumpy Trump trumped, now he's got the hump: Muslim ban beaten back by appeals court

Chris Jasper

So how long before a CIA run "Terrorist" attack on the US do we think?

6
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Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

Chris Jasper

Rowan Atkinson in all seriousness

2
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'I AM TWEETING TRUTH TO POWER: AND YOU CAN'T STOP MY FACTS, MR PRESIDENT!'

Chris Jasper

Cute

But I dont really think anything would be as funny as the real world right now............

2
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Stop replying! pleads NetApp customer stuck in reply-allpocalypse

Chris Jasper

Nah

The worse problem is the smartasses who think they have the most original jokes to take the mickey out of the originator of the reply all.......

1
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Clone wars: Wrestler sues Microsoft over Gears of War character

Chris Jasper

Yeeeaaahhhh..........

Lester Speight looks way more like Cole Train than this guy

1
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UK Parliament suddenly remembers it wants to bone up cyber security *cough* Russia *cough*

Chris Jasper

There's the cue....

....for massive wrangling with service providers tasked with providing some vague idea written on a post it note by a junior intern who's good with that Apple Mac thing he carries around for "That cyber security stuff I keep reading about in the Daily Mail" with constantly changing goalposts (By the customer of course) ending in nothing useful being achieved except a website (maybe) and a database and huge waste of expenditure of taxpayers money.

Did I miss anything?

9
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CIA: Russia hacked election. Trump: I don't believe it! FAKE NEWS!

Chris Jasper

Priorities

"although Russia had interfered on one side of the election, it wasn't clear what its intentions were"

The words 'interfered on one side of the election' should be the key phrase here...............

0
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Who's in Peter's file? Moneybags Thiel hits up Silicon Valley brains to join his Trump think tank

Chris Jasper

Non sequiter?

Trump Think Tank.

Does not compute...................

2
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Windows 10 market share stalls after free upgrade offer ends

Chris Jasper

Windows 10

I let it in through the upgrade process finally, my laptop slowly tanked.

I did a fresh install from iso, my laptop slowly tanked.

I went back to Windows 8.1.

Much better now.

7
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Never explain, never apologize: Microsoft silent on Outlook.com email server grief

Chris Jasper

Standard Corporate Approach

Symantec are pretty much the same, they decided to rebrand MessageLabs this week and change the website branding for spam manager, the format of the spam manager emails they send to users, and informed people with a blog post on their news alerts that most of us didnt have access to.

Cue calls from lots of users and infosec types demanding to know what this phishing/malware/terrorist virus attack was all about.

Symantec's response? "It wasn't a major upgrade, what's the fuss about?".

Would have thought the mass of phone calls you evidently got that stopped us getting through for hours would have clued you in guys?

5
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Chris Jasper
FAIL

Re: Naughty El Reg

I think a mail to Santa would be more successful

7
0

What’s that Sooty? You want a girlfriend?

Chris Jasper

Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

Nope, he was called Tom

1
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User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

Chris Jasper

Re: A whiter shade of pale?

Have sadly seen this with so called Graphic Designers too

6
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This local council paid HOW MUCH for an SD card?!

Chris Jasper

Maybe more sinister......?

Julius Levinson: You don't actually think they spend $20,000 on a hammer, $30,000 on a toilet seat, do you?

5
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Apple's iOS updates brick iPads

Chris Jasper

Great..........

............since I work for a place that exhorts its Apple user base to update their devices the second an update comes out without any testing whatsoever then expects us in IT to fix it.

I'm going home............

3
1

Work begins on Russian rival to Android

Chris Jasper

Re: "Trusted"

The X-Files was right all along.................

0
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Lloyds online banking goes TITSUP*

Chris Jasper

Re: Thinking about it

Well thats about to get a whole lot worse then

0
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What's wrong with the Daily Mail Group buying Yahoo?

Chris Jasper

Odd Language

I assume if this is successful we can see far more use of the words, 'pert', 'leggy', 'bosom', 'full bosom' and various other terms to describe the physical form of the fairer sex used by the Mail to crop up in search results?

2
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Facebook throws BlackBerry an HTML bone

Chris Jasper

Widgets

Great, now maybe they will see fit to bring back the Facebook widget to Android instead of trying to up Ad Revenue by making us go straight to the feed?

0
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Brits STUNG for up to £625 when they try to cancel broadband

Chris Jasper

And as for the compensation for poor service, ever dealt with Sky?

Not happening.

5
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Wikipedia: It's not for girls

Chris Jasper
Devil

Or Maybe....

Women just have better things to do with their time.......??

5
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BBC accused of coming out for porn opt-in?

Chris Jasper
FAIL

So....

.....apparently having your husband caught out for watching porn and 'mistakenly' claiming it on expenses makes you qualified to judge and decide the viewing habits of the entire British public.

Wouldnt mind if it really was to protect the children, but its just another prudish, christian right wing fundamentalist telling us whats right and wrong.

20
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iPhone 4 on Pay as You Go: UK networks compared

Chris Jasper

Vodafone Shop Assistants

A Vodafone shop prole who was arrogant and rude. Never...........

0
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Samsung Tocco SGH-F480 touchscreen phone

Chris Jasper
Thumb Up

Tocco is..

...pretty damn good actually, does exactly what I want it to do, no dropped calls here and battery life is far better than the three Viewty's I had before.

I may be an apple fan but I cant see the point of getting an iPhone just to be tied into a contract with the devil (O2).

0
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Trevor Baylis cranks multimedia up a notch

Chris Jasper

Specs

2Gb internal memory and an SD Card slot.

Not too shabby.

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