* Posts by Korev

2111 posts • joined 26 Aug 2016

Taxpayers chuck burnt-out Bongs* millions of pounds to 'decelerate'

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Mushroom

Certainly Mr Barley...

That's well weapon -->

OK, deep breath, relax... Let's have a sober look at these 'ere annoying AMD chip security flaws

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Re: Odiferous Rodent

Don't forget the significant funding from the NSA, Mossad and all the other usual suspects who just love, really love backdoors.

If this is the case then why would they publicise the flaws?

Samba settings SNAFU lets any user change admin passwords

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Joke

"My coffee is cold" - "it's because of linux"

Well Java on Linux isn't that great...

It's Pi day: Care to stuff a brand new Raspberry one in your wallet?

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Yep. Their blog claims 315Mb/s which is still thrice the speed of the previous model.

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Pint

Dates

"assuming you live in a country that insists on writing dates in the frankly barking mad MM/DD format"

A pint for the author -->

Uni IT man stole £22k of Macs to pay for smack

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Coat

Sounds like he was a hardCore addict

Finland government buys a slice of Nokia

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Thumb Up

We'd all sing "Hard Rock Hallelujah!" with happiness

IBM thinks Notes and Domino can rise again

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Joke

Language

Modern languages/tools like Node.js? Pah, surely C# is the only thing you should programme Notes in

Elon Musk invents bus stop, waits for applause, internet LOLs

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Coat

Re: Coming soon...

"Can you ride tandem?"

Yes, NonStop

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Pint

Re: What goes down...

"How about going up instead of down? No messy tunnel boring, no slow lifts to wait for. You could call it ... an Airbus."

Love it -->

Developer mistakenly deleted data - so thoroughly nobody could pin it on him!

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Headmaster

Re: That's not how that works

It basically scans the file system and then creates a whole chain of rm commands. If you try to run it on too many files then it bombs out with an error.

You can ask me how I know this, but now how that many small files were written to the filesystem in the first place...

Won't somebody think of the inodes -->

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Coat

Re: Never edit the fstab table on a production system...

Yep, fstab, a /bin, /etc

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Coat

Re: Never edit the fstab table on a production system...

Maybe someone would make a fstab at guessing why...

Millionaire-backed science fiction church to launch Scientology TV network

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Joke

Adverts for holidays

Does anyone think the station will have adverts for Tom Cruises?

Good news: Apple designs a notebook keyboard that doesn't suck

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Holmes

"Apple designs a notebook keyboard that doesn't suck"

You mean they've put the " on the 2 on their UK keyboards at last?

Server sales dead? No sir, not in Q4

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"Branded vendors made hay while sun shone"

Sadly not since Oracle bought them...

DVLA denies driving licence processing site is a security 'car crash'

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Joke

Would this lead to...

...Drive by attacks to the browser?

Will the defendant please rise? Utah State Bar hunts for sender of topless email

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Coat

Re: "to the breast of their knowledge"

A cup of tea for them!

Administrator PwC chops Maplin staff

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Coat

Yep, I'm feeling wired now...

IBM's homomorphic encryption accelerated to run 75 times faster

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Coat

Re: Am I the only one who read that as

"Strangely, I read it as "homeopathic."

I remember an edition of AbFab where Eddie's mum called them that :)

Mine's the Gucci one, darling -->

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Coat

Re: Am I the only one who read that as

You've raised the gay bar with that...

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Boffin

More please IBM

This is the kind of research that used to make IBM great; please do more of it.

And don't let your salepeople muck it up by trying to force Bluemix / Power on everyone...

Sci-tech wants skilled worker cap on PhD and shortage jobs scrapped

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Re: I wonder....

£55k is roughly twice the UK average wage and would put a person in the top 10% of UK earners. I suspect that most people in the UK don't realise how low the salaries actually are especially once the high living costs have been taken into account.

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Unhappy

£55k

For instance, MP Stuart McDonald said in parliament last month that in December 2017, people essentially had to have a salary of £55,000 or above to qualify for a certificate.

Which pretty much rules out most science jobs; not to mention other useful people like teachers, junior doctors etc.

Netflix could pwn 2020s IT security – they need only reach out and take

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Netflix as a vendor

The idea of Netflix as an IT vendor is weird, but you could say the same about a certain bookseller....

Ethernet sales growing, but routing's been routed by software

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Joke

So you're saying that people are making the switch away from hardware because of software, it's good to have that on the routing table...

VMware's cloud migration play beams down whole data centres

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Thumb Up

Re: Can it migrate it back?

A very good question

Ocado to stock cannabidiol-infused water

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Coat

Partnership

Is it a joint venture between Ocado and Love Hemp?

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Joke

I guess it'd be good for their canabusiness

Suspected drug dealer who refused to poo for 46 DAYS released... on bail

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Joke

Re: Ah well...

It saves on the paperwork, I suppose.

Of the Andrex variety?

Pasties in SPAAAAACE: Cornwall hopes for slice of £50m spaceport cash

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Joke

If they keep going a bit longer then the Bloodhound will "launch horizontally" over Watergate Bay

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Mushroom

Re: "delicious, meat-filled pasties"

You're being let off lightly... Hell hath no fury like when a Cornishman has his pasties contaminated...

There's a reason why the Americans don't keep any of these in Cornwall any more -->

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Childcatcher

Re: Remind me

I think putting the cream on second would jam everything up

Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

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Joke

Re: WEEEE

Or weee weee weee all the way home

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Coat

"Clearly it will land in Northern France as predicted by Vitalstatistix."

If it does then they could call it an Obelix.

British military spends more on computers than weapons and ammo

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Recruitment

Of course their new Army recruitment system could be a way of lowering staffing costs as they can't get any new people in. Of course it means spending a tonne of money with Capita.

US Army warns of the potential dangers of swarming toy drones on US soldiers

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Coat

Re: Swarms indeed.

That would not bee nice...

La, la, la, I can't hear you! Apple to challenge Bose's noise-proof cans

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Joke

Re: More to the point

"I'm at least part Scottish. We are not mean - just poor."

Maybe you need to make a buckfast

Paul Allen's research vessel finds wreck of WWII US aircraft carrier

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Paul Allen?

"Is yours the coat with the videotapes to be returned?"

Love it!

Korev Silver badge
Korev Silver badge
Coat

Paul Allen?

"Look at that subtle off-white colouring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God; It even has a watermark."

UK data watchdog's inaugural tech strategy was written with... *drumroll* Word 2010

Korev Silver badge

Re: Office 2010 is sometimes preferred over the later versions

Personally I prefer to run Office 2010 myself over the later versions which seem to run endlessly slower on ever faster hardware.

What Intel Giveth, Microsoft Taketh Away. A bit old, but I'm sure its conclusion still holds.

'A sledgehammer to crack a nut': Charities slam UK voter ID trials

Korev Silver badge

As a student I shared a house with a man and a woman; on the day of the General Election I managed to grab one of the others' card. It was only picked up because it said Miss on it and had been my other housemate's then I'd have taken his vote.

Up to 25% of new builds still can't get superfast broadband – study

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Roland6 wrote "Are the Swiss consuming significantly more digital services than households in the UK on FTTC/FTTP/VM?"

A very good question and I have no idea of the answer. One potential data point is that many ISPs bundle IPTV with their services which must increase bandwidth requirements. For my own usage, upload speed is far more important as I have a photography habit and do a lot of backups to the cloud.

"I suggest at these speeds the only competition is in the marketing claims: our network is faster than the competition..."

I suspect that for many home users this is the case. For someone like a graphic designer or videographer I can see how having cheap and fast Internet is hugely useful.

Korev Silver badge

UPC in Switzerland (also owned by Liberty Global) offer 500/50. Swisscom (BT equivalent) offer FTTP with 1Gbs/1Gbs so UPC need to compete.

Apple's new 'spaceship' HQ brings the pane for unobservant workers

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Joke

Re: Solutions

How would drawing a chicken help?

'Repeatable sanitization' is a feature of PCs now

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Coat

Re: not intended

If you pop just the chips out then job's a good 'un

Bitcoin heist with a twist: This time it's servers that were stolen

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Joke

Re: The nation USED TO HAVE a low crime rate.

Probably "why mums go to Iceland"

Reg man wraps head in 49-inch curved monitor

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Joke

Re: Still only 1080 Vertical

"* No, I've not done the maths. If you want to work out how many of these would really be needed for a 270 degree on two axis, fellow reader, then feel free. Being the Reg, I'm 100% confident somebody will."

I'd say about twelvety

Sysadmin left finger on power button for an hour to avert SAP outage

Korev Silver badge

Re: Probably my fault for being unclear

Which uni was this?

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