* Posts by Korev

1587 posts • joined 26 Aug 2016

London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

Korev
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Joke

Well, it's certainly disruptive....

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Korev
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Gatwick Express recently got its knuckles rapped for misleading adverts as their service is frequently slower than advertised

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Korev
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Or they could do a TFL and not specifically state that everything is on time, but instead, just running normally.

That'd be a sneaky, underground thing to do...

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Your Phone prematurely ejected, Skype texting on the way, and 900 more years of Windows

Korev
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Pint

900 years

eagle-eyed Register reader Philip Coakes found evidence in a security advisory that Windows is with us for the long term.

Another 900 years, to be precise.

A pint for Mr Coakes for brightening our day -->

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Amaze your colleagues, confound customers and perturb partners with your encyclopaedic storage news knowledge

Korev
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WTF?

"Interestingly, he was part of the Nixon White House's legal defence team during the Watergate investigation."

And Chief Ethics Officer you say?

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The future of humanity: A Bluetooth ball hitting your face – forever

Korev
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Holmes

Re: Crikey! This is still a thing?

>I thought people got over the whole Pokemon Go thing. Kind of like me and Ninja Turtles in the 90s

You don't need to be Leonardo (devinci) to work that one out...

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Korev
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Joke

Re: The ball's gone flat

Sounds like an excuse for battery...

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Korev
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Re: Hmm

Just wondering, would something like this be of use?

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Beam me up, PM: Digital secretary expected to give Tory conference speech as hologram

Korev
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Joke

Does that mean he's being promoted to Technician, Second Class responsible for the soup vending machines?

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DeepMind AI bots tell Google to literally chill out: Software takes control of server cooling

Korev
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Joke

>Unless they're using a rat's brain in a jar

And we were wondering why Java programmes were so big

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Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site

Korev
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Alien

And leave Victor to the err Vultures?

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Et tu, Brute? Then fail, Caesars: When it's hotel staff, not the hackers, invading folks' privacy

Korev
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Terminator

This year was a stroke of genius: the badges contained a retro roleplaying game you could access via USB, 30 LEDs, and other IO ports. You could unlock new RPG levels if you connected your badge to another badge types – human, press, speaker and so forth – with the lights telling you if the link was successful.

Baring in mind the target audience, wouldn't many of them just "help themselves" to the extra levels?

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Korev
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Staff cost reductions maid

the hotel promotes skipping maid service to save staff costs

fixed that for you...

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Boffins build the smallest transistor, controlled by an atom

Korev
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Coat

Re: Of course it has potential

>they applied voltage to it.

Did they resist it?

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Now you can tell someone to literally go f--k themselves over the internet: Remote-control mock-cock patent dies

Korev
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Joke

Re: Insert smutty joke here...

Your computer might be floppy, but mine's got a big hard disc...

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Arm debuts CPU roadmap for the first time, sort of

Korev
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Joke

Re: ARM not Arm

Oh come one, it's Armless...

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Brit banks must disclose outages via API, decrees finance watchdog

Korev
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Thumb Up

Re: Obligate!

This ^^^^

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EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

Korev
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Re: thunderbolt - not thunderbird

FAB

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Linux 4.18 arrives fashionably late while Zorin OS shines up its Windows

Korev
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Pint

Re: not sure if I want to fork over money...

>What business model did you expect from Zorin Industries?

Have a virtual beer for that one, shaken, not stirred -->

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We've Amber heard a NASty rumour: Marvell man touts private cloud box

Korev
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Re: I expected something completely different...

Amber (or any other female name) is probably also something that I wouldn't want to google from work...

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Korev
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Not old fashioned at all... I was about to post exactly the same thing.

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Boffins get fish drunk to prove what any bouncer already knows

Korev
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I'm about to eel over these puns are so bad

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Korev
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Re: How to get

Do you know some Plaice to get them from?

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Korev
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Please Cod, make it stop....

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Too many leftover screws? Ikea website backend goes TITSUP

Korev
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Or maybe it Lacks the power to serve the site...

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Korev
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Is the server being a silly Billy?

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Disk will eat itself: Flash price crash just around the over-supplied block

Korev
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Which sector in particular, how are you partitioning the market?

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Wasted worker wasps wanna know – oi! – who are you looking at?

Korev
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Re: House Martins.

Yeah, he’s not been on the Zoe Ball recently...

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Korev
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Re: House Martins.

Aren’t the Housemartins a band from the 80s?

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Korev
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Joke

>Not a lot of people know this but it was gods plan to use wasps to pollinate the plants however in the end he had to resort to plan bee.

You mean... gasp... the Moderatrix?

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Oracle's JEDI mine trick: IT giant sticks a bomb under Pentagon's $10bn single-vendor cloud plan

Korev
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Re: too funny...

I’m guessing you live in Switzerland, they do have a safety net for the hard up as well as an upper payment limit.

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Hackers can cook you alive using 'microwave oven' sat-comms – claim

Korev
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Alien

In the good old days, you’d see a lot of these after 11.20pm making circles near British pubs.... —>

Oddly since they sorted opening hours and now everyone has a camera on their phone you see a lot fewer crop circles.....

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What do a meth, coke, molly, heroin stash and Vegas allegedly have in common? Broadcom cofounder Henry Nicolas

Korev
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Joke

Re: Seems like a good idea...

John McAfee - "I've spent a fortune on drugs and hookers"

The rest he just squandered....

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Korev
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Re: Some stories are just stories

Pilots often have oxygen cylinders ready for use if they need them; us plebs in the back have those masks with bags that don’t inflate

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Phased out: IT architect plugs hole in clean-freak admin's wiring design

Korev
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Mushroom

Re: I hate electricity

HP (RIP) arrays are bullet proof...

Maybe not those though —>

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Korev
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Flame

Re: Planning

My work burnt out a cable to one of the major company data centres, it turned out that in the late 70s the contractor decided to put in a lower rated cable than it was supposed to. This led to a massive outage (not sure why the redundant systems didn’t work) and allowed IT to convince the senior people to invest in a huge new data centre.

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Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

Korev
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Pirate

Re: It's Devon, they probably think spell check is the work of the devil.

Nah, we were all wreckin.... —>

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Wait, did you hear that? That rumbling in the distance? Sounds like... a 16-socket IBM Power9 box shuffling this way

Korev
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Re: So many threads!

> I would expect spectrecular performance.

I expect it to have a lot of Power

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'Can you just pop in to the office and hit the power button?' 'Not really... the G8 is on'

Korev
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Re: London Riots

One of my friends used to be a cop in the Met; he said that things were a lot worse than the media let and he was very pleased to make it out unscathed. A few years later, he's now decided that a nice rural constabulary is much nicer to work in than the Met (although backup can take up to an hour to arrive!).

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I'll have two pints of Blockchain Brew and a half of Cloudy Bollocks

Korev
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Re: Maybe El Reg readers, maybe not.

I hops he feels better soon

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Alaskan borough dusts off the typewriters after ransomware crims pwn entire network

Korev
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Given that their recovery plan involves using backups, some of them up to a year old, it seems at least possible that they may have pinned the target to their own forehead.

They may have also gone that far back in time to make sure that they weren't restoring the trojan. I guess only the people doing the work know for certain though.

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Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

Korev
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Pint

Re: @Korev

But what'd be the pun in that?

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Korev
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Joke

Talking to printers is good...

...you just need the right toner voice

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Amazon, ditch us? But they can't do without us – Oracle

Korev
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Joke

Re: Amazing news!

>The surprising news is that Amazon still rely on this technology in 2018 from such an un-friendly and price gouging company.

Are you talking about AWS or Oracle?

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Get drinking! Abstinence just as bad for you as getting bladdered

Korev
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Boffin

Re: One little pill?

It is neither a mutagen nor a promoter and its links to cancer are normally only statistical correlations that frequently have other unhealthy life-style factors associated (heavy drinkers are not known for their healthy eating and exercise plans).

Alcohol itself isn't mutagenic, but the first step in its metabolism produces acetaldehyde which is.

Moreover, tumours love energy and alcohol causes a rapid rise in sugars in the blood.

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2TB or not 2TB: Microsoft fiddles with OneDrive as competition offers twice the storage

Korev
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Pint

Re: 1Tb of storage ... what will I store?

That's errr 8 bit nasty; but I admire your BOFHery skills -->

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Yellowbrick reckons its all-flash data warehouse array is a wizard idea

Korev
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Joke

Re: Buzzword bingo

With blockchain and AI...

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Beam me up, UK.gov: 'Extra-terrestrial markup language' booted off G-Cloud

Korev
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Re: Unfair, I call it

That made me Novichokle

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Relax, Amazon workers – OpenAI-trained robo hand isn't much use (well, not right now)

Korev
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Boffin

Re: Excellent (what's with the trans bluhair style?)

I'm a big fan of Dr Fry, her programme, Contagion was great. It even had a peer-reviewed paper accompanying it

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Korev
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Boffin

In other words, in the simulation it did fine – but with the effects of gravity, imperfections in the mechanisms, and other real world effects, the software turned into a butterfingers. Indeed, during testing, the robotic hand broke down dozens of times.

Variables

The machine-learning software was trained in a range of simulated environments where some of the variables such as surface friction, the size of the object, lighting conditions, hand poses, textures, and even the strength of gravity were changed randomly. The idea was to at least attempt to prepare the model for the unpredictable universe in which we live.

Surely gravity is a constant force? Or am I missing something obvious?

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