* Posts by Mike Moyle

1214 posts • joined 8 Feb 2007

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Waymo fleshes out self-driving car tech with hardware that goes soft at first sign of trouble

Mike Moyle
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"Coating the bumper in a sticky layer will supposedly glue the colliding object – such as a pedestrian – to the front of the car during the impact like flypaper, to protect them from 'secondary impacts.'”

I'm waiting for something like GTA Lite where people try to hack the driving AI in order to collect an entire bumper-full of ex-pedestrians!

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Blighty’s beloved Big Ben bell ends, may break Brexit bargain

Mike Moyle
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"The Victorian clock is maintained by a dedicated keeper."

157 years? I should say that he is!

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Uber bros kill car leasing program after losing nine grand per vehicle

Mike Moyle
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The more I hear about them, the more they seem Unter to me than they do Uber.

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Assange offers job to sacked Google diversity manifestbro

Mike Moyle
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Re: Assange shouts at world to stop forgetting him

^^^ -- This.

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A sarcasm detector bot? That sounds absolutely brilliant. Definitely

Mike Moyle
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Re: "Unit got smaller"

@ technicalben

Well, in this case, "unit" was intended as "one bottle, of colloquial category 'half-pint', 'pint', 'fifth', and 'half-gallon"", but "unit" seemed more concise. The size of the unit (bottle) was, in each case (except the quart upsizing to a liter), made smaller. The number of servings in each unit (bottle) went down; the size of the serving did not change.

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Mike Moyle
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Re: A massive market

The liquor industry over here was one of the very few to willingly -- nay, eagerly -- convert to metrics when the government tried to get everyone on board back in 1975. The reason, of course, was that with the exception of going from quarts to liters, every other unit got smaller. But, since people were already used to paying $X for a pint, say, just refer to a 375 ml flask as a "pint" -- close enough! -- and there you go: instant profit-margin boost!

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Mike Moyle
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"...I don't really want to have to learn yet another language at my age."

Damn. Now you've made me want to see someone write a programming language that is all emojis. We could call it ᗧ++.

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Dems fightin' words! FCC's net neutrality murder plot torn apart

Mike Moyle
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Re: "Taking direction from president Trump"

Then, if commercial entities can't/won't extend high-speed access into those underserved areas profitably, they should stop pressuring state legislators to block local governments from forming municipal broadband ISPs to serve their residents.

One or the other, people. One or the other. You're not allowed to have it both ways.

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Gov workers told their social posts are more believable than politicians' statements

Mike Moyle
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"...citizens think they know 'what's really going on'."

Well, we certainly can't have THAT, now can we?

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Big Internet balks at fresh effort to crack down on sex trafficking

Mike Moyle
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How can this be a serious law? Whenever a Congresscritter really wants to get public opinion to unite behind a bill, they give it a "clever" backronym -- vis.: USA PATRIOT Act, STOP SMUT Act, CHURCH Act, etc. This...? The SEST Act? Never gonna fly.

It comes really CLOSE to the SEX Act, so maybe Sen. Portman just couldn't come up with a word that starts with X and got as close as he could.

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Did eye just do that? Microsoft brings gaze tracking to Windows 10

Mike Moyle
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Great! I could get a job as an AI tester: Will it cope with my severe nystagmus or have a nervous breakdown?

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In the red corner: Malware-breeding AI. And in the blue corner: The AI trying to stop it

Mike Moyle
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Coat

Re: Maybe

But then scammers would devise an AI that would compare sets of adjacent pixels in a picture to look for signatures of Ostrichization. Where will it ever end?

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Microsoft Surface laptop: Is this your MacBook Air replacement?

Mike Moyle
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Re: Wot?

@ Olaf -- I'm trying to come up with something about bent coppers getting into your pockets being why you can't afford one of these, but...

Nah... I got nothin'.

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Apple exits music player biz by killing iPod Nano, iPod Shuffle

Mike Moyle
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Re: British pronunciation of "Jag-you-er" sounds equally silly to we across the Pond

"While I guess a firewall might conceivably rout packets, a router, well, routes them…"

Probably because over here, "route" -- either noun or verb -- can be pronounced "root" or "rout". I would have guessed that it was related to regional dialects, but that does not appear to be the case:

http://www4.uwm.edu/FLL/linguistics/dialect/staticmaps/q_26.html

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Mike Moyle
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I have to admit, I'll really miss my 160GB Classic when it finally dies the great death. It's basically started up in a shirt pocket* when I leave the house in the morning, plugged into speakers when I get to the office, and removed from my pocket and turned off when I get home at the end of the day. With the assistance of a case to give me tactile feedback of where the edge of the touch wheel is, I can adjust the volume and jump forward/back without taking it out of my pocket/looking at it on my side-desk. A touch-screen player or phone simply doesn't give me that level of unobtrusive control. That's not even considering that keeping all of my music on my phone means that if my music player gets stolen, I've lost my phone as well!

*I suppose that it should be noted that I tend to seek out shirts with TWO breast pockets to carry phone on one side and Pod on the other. If your wardrobe tends towards tees or polos, then this option is not for you.

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Mike Moyle
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Re: News indeed

"...Steve Jobs pronunciation of Jaguar as "Jagwire"."

To be absolutely fair, your British pronunciation of "Jag-you-er" sounds equally silly to we across the Pond.

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Pre-order your early-bird pre-sale product today! (Oh did we mention the shipping date has slipped AGAIN?)

Mike Moyle
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Pint

"We promise to launder process each transaction transparently from your source currency via Bitcoin, Ethereum, Linoleum and Perineum before we vanish entirely in a puff of blockchain."

Now THAT'S comedy!

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Everything you never knew about mail: The Postal Museum opens

Mike Moyle
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Makes this old geek want to take a visit to to Ol' Blighty!

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Breathless F-35 pilots to get oxygen boost via algorithm tweak

Mike Moyle
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Admiring all this technical talk. Me, I was just feeling sorry for the pilots who apparently got all their air filtered through o' bogs. Flying on the day after Curry Night in the mess hall must be particularly challenging!

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Hot HoloLens models 'shafted by Microsoft'

Mike Moyle
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Re: The Las Vegas attitude...

".... I wonder a country where there's a place like Las Vegas where most "events" are held, can complains about sexual harassment and the like."

Why? It's quite simple, really: There's what you do when you're on the clock and what you do when you're off the clock. Your employer expecting you to do favors for him, personally, after work hours because you do the same thing for pay during work hours is simply wrong, whatever your trade is. If you think it's wrong when it's someone expecting to have access to, say, your salable technical talents for free but see nothing wrong with the same when the victim's salable attributes are appearance and personality, then the problem isn't with the society.

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Emirates and Turkish Airlines lift laptop ban on US-bound flights

Mike Moyle
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Were I the suspicious and cynical sort of individual (...which, of course, I'm not!) I might note that both Turkey and the UAE have the sort of strong-man governments and lamentable civil rights records that Trump seems particularly fond of. I wonder, on the other hand, how many European airlines, say, might find themselves having a suspiciously hard time meeting the new standards that DHS is rolling out for all air travel to the U.S. (Not because their leaders talked harshly to Rumpledthinskin -- Of course not! -- but just because... reasons!)

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El Reg partners with Action for Children to give IT industry an uncomfortable night

Mike Moyle
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Re: Not interested

So, you feel strongly enough about the charity and the method of solicitination to express your distaste -- rather than saying nothing and just not joining in -- but not strongly enough to actually sign your name (or at least your El Reg handle)? I'm not sure what I could say about this that is more damning than the post itself.

Hmmm... Well, I suppose there's always: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." -- Abraham Lincoln (Attribution uncertain)

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UK and Ecuador working on Assange escape mechanism

Mike Moyle
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Re: Is it worth it

"And as soon as he ends up in UK police custody, Sweden just need to re-issue that EAW and the Swedish then get him."

Maybe he's hoping that Brexit will mean that the EAW won't be valid in the UK?

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Researchers take the piss with pee-powered liquid energy project

Mike Moyle
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I can see the advertising now: "POWER starts with P!"

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Breach at UK.gov's Cyber Essentials scheme exposes users to phishing attacks

Mike Moyle
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"We would like to make it clear that the security of the assessment platform has not been compromised. Your account, the answers you provided in the assessment and the report you received are secure. No information other than your email address and your company name was accessible to the third party."

Translated: "Pay no attention to that shoe hanging in mid-air."

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Microsoft admits to disabling third-party antivirus code if Win 10 doesn't like it

Mike Moyle
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Re: Admission

@Naselus

"I'm sorry, it's hard to take anyone seriously when they say 'Microsoft are being too controlling over which software I can install, I'm off to Apple land'."

Oooooooh...! MacOS demands an Admin password to install software downloaded from the internet! How horribly nannyish of them! <eyeroll>

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Ad 'urgently' seeks company to build national e-ID system

Mike Moyle
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I can't Bolivia had the nerve to post that!

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You'll soon be buying bulgur wheat salad* from Amazon, after it swallowed Whole Foods

Mike Moyle
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Re: Horrible store

Around here, Whole Foods is referred to as "Whole Paycheck".

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Essentially puzzling: Rubin's hype-phone ties up with… Sprint?

Mike Moyle
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Re: Then it's Essentially dead in the water.

"Heh, heh, heh, amazing. It's absolutely amazing. But under the right circumstances, a producer could make more money with a flop than he could with a hit." -- Leo Bloom -- "The Producers"

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I fought Ohm's Law and the law won: Drone crash takes out power to Silicon Valley homes

Mike Moyle
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John Sunlight?

Yes. I'm old.

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Mike Moyle
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"There's an APB out for Colonel Sanders."

Well, his bird certainly got fried...

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Mac ransomware author is giving away malicious code to script kiddies

Mike Moyle
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So the owner is franchising... I wonder if he's gone full SpAmway and offered a percentage of profits to his downline from anyone that THEY recruit.

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You know this net neutrality thing? Well, people really love it

Mike Moyle
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"You know this net neutrality thing? Well, people really love it"

...Just not the RIGHT people.

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What a tit! Uber CEO hijacks his staff breast-pump room to meditate

Mike Moyle
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An Uber CEO sits in an empty room. The room remains empty.

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Do cops need a warrant to stalk you using your cellphone records? US Supremes to mull it over

Mike Moyle
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Is there any way to find out, without searching the phone itself, if the suspect had "location services" -- or however the various platforms refer to it -- turned on? If it's on, then they clearly do not consider their location private information.

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Trident nuke subs are hackable, thunders Wikipedia-based report

Mike Moyle
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Re: Normal USB Attack Vector

I thought USB stood for UnterSeeBoot.

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'President Zuck' fundraiser opens for business

Mike Moyle
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Re: Dear God...

"First Trump then over to Zuckerberg - could it get any worse? (Rhetorical question - I'm pretty sure it could)"

Well, the Koch brothers could decide to stop paying the middlemen (buying politicians) and buy the presidency/vice-presidency directly, running for the gig together so that, even if one died the asset would stay in the family. (For anyone not familiar with the Kochs -- Charles and David Koch each have net worths of $47+ billion. They are the heads of the second-richest family in the U.S. and funders of assorted far right-wing/christian dominionist "think-tanks" and pressure groups. The current leadership of the U.S. Congress are only in place because the Kochs couldn't find anyone more loathsome to support.)

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Walkers' Crisps pulls backfiring Tweet campaign that paired Gary Lineker and a bunch of nasties

Mike Moyle
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If the worst that they got -- or, at least, the worst that got through the "yes, this is a face" software -- were portraits of infamous people as opposed to, say, a photo of someone's junk with a pair of Groucho glasses perched on top, then they should consider that they got damned lucky!

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Britain's on the brink of a small-scale nuclear reactor revolution

Mike Moyle
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Re: Renewables are not as green as its promotors claim

"Not if we eat them."

...which raises its OWN set of problems:

http://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/09/06/482952588/when-people-ate-people-a-strange-disease-emerged

(Plus, there's so much FAT in them, unless you're willing to pay more for the grass-fed, all-organic stuff!)

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Weight, what? The perfect kilogram is nearly in Planck's grasp

Mike Moyle
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Re: I think you'll find that with spheres - there isn't one.

Hey... You don't have to have a point to have a point!

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Media players wide open to malware fired from booby-trapped subtitles

Mike Moyle
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Re: "Freetard" is an incorrect name for a user of open-source software

Or, perhaps, "freetard" was referring to the article's assertion that "Although they have legitimate uses, subtitle files are typically downloaded in association with pirated foreign-language films," (emphasis, mine), and not referring to FOSS users at all...?

("The guilty flees when no man pursueth," -- Proverbs 28:1)

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Gravitational waves permanently change spacetime, say astroboffins

Mike Moyle
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Re: “orphan memory”

That was actually my first thought: "How long before the Loony Liberation Front jumps on this to 'explain' how homeopathy 'works'?".

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AI smut-finder is now an Android app

Mike Moyle
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Prior art: Didn't Google used to have an "I want to get lucky" button?

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Train station's giant screens showed web smut at peak hour

Mike Moyle
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Well, I'm sitting at a "work station", but...

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Security shield slingers are loving Prez Trump's cybersecurity order

Mike Moyle
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Re: Usual odd picture

There are actually two theories: One is that they reproduce via cellular fission, like any similar primitive organisms. The other suggests that when they are circumcised, the foreskins are planted and grow the next generation of little dick taters.

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China staggering under WannaCrypt outbreak

Mike Moyle
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Re: Nervous criminals

A security guy was quoted on National Public Radio this morning with what may be the understatement of the week; that, generally, these types of jobbers will try to avoid infecting countries where they live or hope to get their Bitcoins extracted through. These bozos apparently didn't think that part through and, "if the perpetrators live in one of the countries that have been hit hardest -- say, Russia -- that would be an incredibly bad life choice."

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Uber red-faced from Waymo legal row judge's repeated slapping

Mike Moyle
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This Judge Alsup seems to be a very busy (and sapient!) fellow:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/05/12/judge_java_to_malibu_media/

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Police watchdog investigates illegal outsourced Indian hackers scandal

Mike Moyle
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Re: Bah!

"So basically, everyone in the UK in on Double Secret Probation?

Just like in America!"

We're all just sittin' right here on the "Group W" bench...

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French drone bods Parrot wheel out 'prosumer' division

Mike Moyle
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Right...!

Who's organizing the pool for when the first "This... Is An Ex-Parrot!" headline appears on El Reg?

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It's been a few days, so what fresh trouble has Uber got into now?

Mike Moyle
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Re: Prediction...

"I'm sure Volkswagen can supply enough to cover Uber's needs. It might even help VW's bottom line."

Venture capitalists looking to invest in the next Disruptive Technology(TM) might want to explore our new "Fallguys as a Service" (FAAS) offering. We can supply interested companies with engineers accredited in any discipline ready and willing to be thrown under a bus* to protect directors and C-level management.

(* Metaphorical buses only, please. For employees willing to be thrown under PHYSICAL buses, please ask about our "Suicides as a Service" offering.)

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