* Posts by Geoff May (no relation)

69 posts • joined 22 Jul 2016


Help your fellow IT pals spruce up their virtual meetings: Design a winning background, win Register-branded gear

Geoff May (no relation)

One of the lads I work with took a picture of himself at his laptop.

Now, when the meeting gets boring, he loads that and wonders off to do something useful

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Geoff May (no relation)

May I suggest "Standard Setters"?

Very often when they release new versions, they change the standards set in previous incarnation and set up new "standards" ...

Corona coronavirus hiatus: Euro space agency to put Sun, Mars probes in safe mode while boffins swerve pandemic

Geoff May (no relation)

Most satellites store data on board the spacecraft and then it is downloaded at regular intervals. The down load needs an extensive team as you need to:

1 - Calculate exactly where the spacecraft is;

2 - Point the antenna to the spacecraft;

3 - Initiate the download (this usually stops recording on device #1 and starts recording on device #2);

4 - When the download is complete, start downloading from device #2 and restart device #1 (sometimes the recording is left on the second device and that is downloaded at the next schedule);

5 - Release the antenna team so they can start working on other satellites.

This requires at least 4 teams and they are almost always shift workers so that is a minimum of 20 people (to allow for time off and covering 24 hours per day).

Galileo got it wrong – official: Jupiter actually wet, not super-dry: 'No one would have guessed that water might be so variable across the planet'

Geoff May (no relation)


Shouldn't they be Jovians?

Ancient Ore Crusher or KillBot 2000? NASA gets ready to pick a name for its Mars 2020 Rover

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Marsy McMarsface


It's about the only thing beginning with N relating to Mars in some way I could find with a quick search.

Astroboffins baffled as Curiosity rover takes larger gasps of oxygen in Martian summers

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Tiptoeing around the elephant in the room

Just once I would like to read something on The Reg where some pillock does not fucking mention Trump nor Brexit.

Too much to fucking ask, I know but one can always dream ...

Astroboffins capture video of Mercury passing across the Sun's surface

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Kind of humbling

Who nicked the fairy cake?

Tough luck, Jupiter, you've lost your crown for now: Boffins show Saturn has more moons

Geoff May (no relation)

... are there any in Klingon yet?

Apparently there are bootleg versions out there:


Scroll down near the bottom.

Just what we all needed, lactose-free 'beer' from northern hipsters – it's the Vegan Sorbet Sour

Geoff May (no relation)

Vegan Custard

Unfortunately, such a thing exists :-(

Uses semolina and soy milk.

Loss-making $15bn hipster chat biz Slack suddenly less appetising to investors as it predicts deeper losses

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: I just don't get these massive losses

Those letters that spell "Go Stick Your Head in a Pig" don't come cheap.

Russian spacebot stranded outside the ISS as Soyuz fails to dock

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: SciFi trivia teaser...



Apollo 11 @ 50: The long shadow of the flag

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: 25 seconds of fuel

Post-flight analysis indicated there was about 45 seconds fuel remaining. I believe the discrepancy comes from where the fuel sensor was located. As the LM was tilted slightly, this read as less fuel than was actually available.

Geoff May (no relation)

Ranger etc. missions

Already touched on in the article but I get the impression I am the only person who remembers Ranger and Surveyor missions ...

Usenet file-swapping was acceptable in the '80s – but not so much now: Pirate pair sent down for 66 months

Geoff May (no relation)

Remember Usenet? I still use it!

And not for exchanging files. There are simpler ways. It is useful for keeping track of people I have known for years and still have the same interests as I have.

Look out, Titan. Plutonium robots from Earth are on their way

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Flight of the Dragonfly

Why can't I up-vote more than once?

We've Falcon caught it! SpaceX finally nets a fairing half after a successful Heavy launch

Geoff May (no relation)

27 Merlin engines

I had visions of a WW2 aircraft fly-by when I read that.

Look, we've tried, but we just can't write this headline without saying boffins have probed Uranus's cold ring

Geoff May (no relation)

In which direction?

El Reg rifled through the history of Huawei's 'new' GaussDB – only 'new' bit is machine learning

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: back in the day

One wonders if TeraData are still only relational database with EXPLAIN verb...

I suspect you will find all relational DBs have EXPLAIN in them somewhere, probably hidden behind a graphic that no one can understand because said graphic hides everything important ...

Guess what shrinks when it gets cold and then you shake it around a little? The Moon. We're talking about the Moon

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Overstatement


Stop reading conspiracy theory sites and go see what NASA have to say about it:


Eggheads confirm it's not a bug – the universe really is expanding 9% faster than expected

Geoff May (no relation)

I suspect the increase in expansion is because the universe is trying to get away from mankind before we do something irreversibly stupid ...

Kent bloke incurs the anchor of local council after fly-tipping boat

Geoff May (no relation)

We can dredge up some more, me thinks. His punt at the garbage scow got a bit cobled 'cos they ketched him.

Boffins baffled by planet nugget whizzing round white dwarf that should have killed it

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: If that white dwarf keeps dense object in orbit ..

Too dense, it would upset the white dwarfs rotation.

Astroboffins may have cracked the mystery of where the photons from weird gamma ray bursts come from

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Meaning of words

Maybe relativistic descriptions are far less ambiguous in the original German?


You've been dying to know. Here's the answer: The Milky Way tips the cosmic scales at '1.5tr' times mass of the Sun

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Aren't planets dark?

@ftb, Thank you, I had always wondered about that.

Supernovae may explain mass extinctions of marine animals 2.6 million years ago

Geoff May (no relation)

Are we sure it wasn't the Tanu and the Firvulag that caused the extinctions?

Open the pod bay doors: Voice of HAL 9000 Douglas Rain dies at 90

Geoff May (no relation)

Thank you for a very enjoyable game.

Thank $deity that week's over. Look, here's some trippy music generated from pixels of a Martian sunrise to play us out

Geoff May (no relation)

Tangerine Dream

Something that Edgar Froese would have been proud of had he not died a few years ago :-(.

Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: our banknotes have poetry on them

Ah! Bollocks, why can I only up vote once? <sigh>

It is 2018 and the NHS is still counting the cost of WannaCry. Carry the 2, + aftermath... um... £92m

Geoff May (no relation)

Correct me if I'm wrong ...

... but didn't the NHS decide to outsource their IT to save money?

If my memory isn't failing me, that was a good deal, wasn't it.

Huge ice blades on Jupiter’s Europa will make it a right pain in the ASCII to land on

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: It's not ROCKET science

I'll nominate our entire government strapped to the underside of some suitable vessel. The advantage of politicians is that you do not need to worry about their orientation as they spray copious volumes of very hot gasses out of both orifices.

It's over 9,000! Boffin-baffling microquasar has power that makes the LHC look like a kid's toy

Geoff May (no relation)

"You people are never happy"

I think you will find the vast majority of your readers are more often happy than unhappy and I suspect that extends to the commentarts too.

Keep up the good work.

Dixons Carphone: Yeah, so, about that hack we said hit 1.2m records? Multiply that by 8.3

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: It's high time CEO's were held directly responsible for these issues

They will find some poor technician and blame it all on that person and then they'll say they found the culprit so holding them responsible is unfair, where's my additional bonus for finding the culprit etc. etc. etc.

People hate hot-desking. Google thinks they’ll love hot-Chromebooking

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: editing, compiling and testing

You are making the unnatural assumption that editing, compiling and testing is considered work.

Real work consists of having an Excel spread sheet with hundreds and thousands of =VLOOKUP() formulae and several pivot tables. Each spread sheet takes 6 hours to update each day so that it is properly configured for the boss to see project status. The other 2 hours is for the sales staff to discuss handicaps and cycling performance results.

Bowel down: Laxative brownies brought to colleague's leaving bash

Geoff May (no relation)

When four Germans get together they invade Poland

Surely that should be "When three Germans and an Austrian get together they invade Poland" ...

Cosmic prang probe: Euro space boffins to smash sats, virtually

Geoff May (no relation)

What really happens when accidents occur in orbit?

My car insurance goes up.

What's in a spectrum allocation? Aero bods talk drone radio links

Geoff May (no relation)


Drone = The noise coming from management or sales teams.

How life started on Earth: Sulfur dioxide builds up, volcanoes blow, job done – boffins

Geoff May (no relation)

EU's metrification?

And of course the Imperial measures are so much more simpler. I mean, everyone can remember the sequence:

12 inches in a foot

3 feet make a yard

22 yards make a chain

10 chains make a furlong

8 furlongs make a mile

And don't forget thous, links, rods and leagues ...

All much simpler than this stupid EU metrification where everything is based on 10. I mean, who the hell can remember that ...

Oh bucket! Unpack the suitcases. TRAPPIST-1 planets too wet to support life

Geoff May (no relation)

Anyone wondering if that is Cachalot?

Less than half of paying ransomware targets get their files back

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: That headline: Fewer... (please?)

There is less water in the Sahara than in Manchester.

Are you sure about that? Isn't most of the water in Manchester stored in beer?

Death notice: Moore's Law. 19 April 1965 – 2 January 2018

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: You do know that Moore’s law says nothing about speed?

who says an atom is the smallest thing

Correct, for example, my pay increase for the last 5 years is much smaller than anything else in the universe ...

The Register Lecture: The Secret Spitfires

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Adolph Hitler????

Spelling ... should be "Adolf Hitler".

PPI-pusher makes 75 MEEELLION nuisance calls, lands £350k fine

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Nuisance calls

All concerned (everybody) get from suspended to 5 years

Shouldn't that be:

All concerned (everybody) get from 5 years to suspended?

Or were you not referring to hanging?

Brace yourselves for the 'terabyte (sic) of death', warns US army IT boss

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Logic

.gnimoc s'ti wonk ew os ,ti rof deraperp er'eW

Google Chrome ad-blocking to begin in February – but what is it going to block?

Geoff May (no relation)

"Ad Experience Report"

Who writes this report?

How is it controlled?

Can anyone influence the report in any way?

Forget Sesame Street, scientists pretty much watched Big Bird evolve on Galápagos island

Geoff May (no relation)

"hardly say that Tories and Labour are different species"

I would ...

Clone poster girl Dolly the sheep's arthritis was 'normal for her age'

Geoff May (no relation)

Re: Royal (Dick) School of Veterinary Studies at the University of Edinburgh

Is that a dig at HRH The Duke of Edinburgh?

No: https://www.ed.ac.uk/vet

Please replace the sword, says owner of now-hollow stone

Geoff May (no relation)

"Lady of the Mercians"

Isn't that Donald Trump's missus?

WannaCrypt victims paid out over $140k in Bitcoin to get files unscrambled

Geoff May (no relation)

And even if they did, chances are they'll have to pay some more for the decrypting tools and they'll have a life of 15 minutes and then you'll need to pay some more to get a new tool that lasts another 15 minutes ...

What is dead may never die: a new version of OS/2 just arrived

Geoff May (no relation)

I used to have Hockware VisPro/REXX

Still got the disks but I've lost the registration so I couldn't use it :-(

Now that is bringing back memories of learning thread and events coding.



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