* Posts by Croc O'Dial

23 posts • joined 5 Jul 2016

Arthur C Clarke award won by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Croc O'Dial

Re: Dubious award

Take some aspirin for your headache or attend an anger management course.

Croc O'Dial

Re: Dubious award

As they say, there is no smoke without fire.

Croc O'Dial

Dubious award

The Arthur C Clarke award goes to a book titled "Children Of Time"?

I'm sure he would have approved as he was reputedly into many things involving children.

'Second Earth' exoplanet found right under our noses – just four light years away

Croc O'Dial

And when you get there...

Mankind then starts all over again and fucks up the environment and when that planet is fucked you look for another one. Let's completely fuck up our current planet before we waste time looking through the pile of shite we've left for another.

Mankind: the only species of life that started at the top and worked its way down.

Corbyn lied, Virgin Trains lied, Harambe died

Croc O'Dial


The funny thing is that the Labour Party deserve him. He is a wanker of the highest calibre.

Microsoft promises free terrible coffee every month you use Edge

Croc O'Dial

They want to give you a reward for using it?

Let me see what's going on here.

Microsoft Edge. Shite.

Starbucks coffee. Shite.

Since when do you reward people for using shite with shite? The clue's in both names.

Brexit Britain: HP Sauce vs BBC.co.uk – choices that defined voters

Croc O'Dial

Give me liberty or give me death.

HP sauce will see you through times of no BBC better than the BBC will see you through times of no HP sauce.

Long live the bacon rasher. HP sauce. That's why Brexit was the correct choice.

Investors to be allowed to sue Volkswagen over emission row

Croc O'Dial

Don't make me laugh...

"UK Owners should be banding together and suing VW"

Get real. The Americans can do it because they are (as a nation) independent from VW (as a company). VW is a German company whose interests are served by Angela Merkel who in turn yields total authority in how the EU is run and financed. The German government will not permit VW to be sued in a class action style lawsuit like the US can do. Any attempt to punish VW will be resisted within the EU. It will not damage the Eurozone because that is controlled by Germany and France and is artificially managed and manipulated by the ECB whose president, Mario Draghi, is essentially a puppet for Germany and France. Financial punishments for VW within the EU will be for window-dressing functions only. Don't expect any compensation from VW. The EU will not sanction it.

Your 'intimate personal massager' – cough – is spying on you

Croc O'Dial

If there's too much excitement...

This (safe for work):


might come in useful if the device goes critical at 110% in an office meeting. In the chart, I like the reference to bone oil and curb cocks.

BlackBerry: Forget phones, Lawsuits In Motion is back – and it's firing off patent claims

Croc O'Dial

Last dying wishes...

The last Will and Testament of a dying company is to be admitted to the Company Hospice where it can wallow in its own shite. It has no future but The Big Corporate Death. So, while there is still time, dig out the lawyers and pick a fight with a lesser firm in the hope that what the lawyers make will not consume everything a court might award.

The sooner ShiteBerry gets flushed down the pan, the better.

Email proves UK boffins axed from EU research in Brexit aftermath

Croc O'Dial

"...those pesky experts that the rubbery faced shitgibbon Gove derided got it right (again)."

Here we go again. Inhale. Breathe out slowly. Stamp your feet. Scream until your face resembles the proverbial slapped arse. Get the oh-so boring tantrum out of the way. Feels better, eh?

Death of 747 now 'reasonably possible' says Boeing

Croc O'Dial

The Clapham Omnibus went the same way.

Pity. The 747 is a workhorse whose reliability and service life is legendary. Unfortunately, the horse-pulled Clapham Omnibus went the same way when horses did nothing more harmful than shovel hay in at one end and provide for roses from t'other. The invention of the new-fangled petrol-powered engine did for it as modern aircraft have done for the 747.

When the last one rolls off the production line a lot of people will fondly remember the passing of a great aircraft.

The B52 bomber was introduced in the 1950s and is still in service. Don't expect the 747 to disappear from the radar screens anytime soon. Except, unfortunately, for those still in service with Air Malaysia.

Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

Croc O'Dial

The problem?

"capable of wiping out parts of the earth the size of Texas or France"

That's a bit extreme to be honest. However, I can appreciate where they're coming from.

What's losing steam at Apple? Pretty much everything

Croc O'Dial

A fool and his money...

iPad? iPhone? A fool and his money are soon parted.

Oops! I just remembered I'm typing this from my iMac.

Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

Croc O'Dial

I took the plunge...

I run Win7 on my iMac using BootCamp and Win7 is where I'm sticking. If I'm ever forced to upgrade I will scrap the partition and switch to one of the Linux offcuts if they'll run on my iMac partition and if not, I'll delete the partition and let the iMac OS take it back.

My old laptop is a different story. I reformatted and reinstalled Win7 and then let it upgrade to Win10. To be honest it doesn't look bad and appears to be a little snappier than Win7 but I don't really care. From what I've seen I'd never part with £100 for what is a great solution to a problem I never had. I can see no compelling reason to use Win10. Apart from all the hype and super-speak it really is very underwhelming and for my needs, rather pointless. So long as Win10 is free I'll let my laptop languish in the corner, mostly unwanted. There it can rust with Win10 onboard.

As they say, "Use Microsoft Win10. 350 million users can't be wrong" to which the corollary applies "Eat shite. 350 million flies can't be wrong."

London Stock Exchange's German mega-merger: It's a go, despite Brexit

Croc O'Dial

Good book.

I recommend you read Roger Bootle's book "The trouble with Europe". It's surprisingly prescient considering it was revised a few months before the referundum. Never underestimate the resilience of good 'ol Blighty. The clue's in the name, Great Britain. Great is what we are because Great is what we do. MPs come and go as do governments but there's one rock of solidity No. 10 can rely on and that's the Chief Mouser To The Treasury, namely, Larry the cat.

Tesla whacks guardrail in Montana, driver blames autopilot

Croc O'Dial

Contract cleaner to aisle 13 please. Grammer spill.

"Autopilot did not detect a wood stake on the road, hit more than 20 wood stakes, tire on front passenger side and lights FLYED away..." (my emphasis)

It's not very different to what we hear in the UK every day. For example:

I was sat. They was sat. I was stood. They was stood.

A few years ago a Dyson technician came to our home to repair a grinding noise coming from the machine. A few minutes later he replaced some parts and switched the machine on. Everything was tickety-boo. He switched the machine off and said "That's put an end to them racket noise."

Linus Torvalds in sweary rant about punctuation in kernel comments

Croc O'Dial

What does he have against asterisks?

He doesn't like asterisks, then? Let him try this comment for size.

/* Linus, go **** yourself */

Blighty will have a whopping 24 F-35B jets by 2023 – MoD minister

Croc O'Dial

Cheap at half the price.

In 2011 the MOD sold £1bn of Harrier jets and spares to the US Marine Corps for a knockdown price of £34m. The F35 is value for money. If only we had some ships to store it on for safe-keeping until the Septics ask for them back. No matter how poor countries are they always have money for armaments.

The F35 will keep the MOD happy until something new comes along.

Avast woos AVG shareholders with $1.3bn buyout offer

Croc O'Dial

Re: Avast! (stop)

That's already built in; it's called AVG.

Croc O'Dial

What a waste of money.

Avast obviously have too much money in their account which a bean-counter has told them to offload, presumably for tax reasons. What better investment to make than buying AVG? Urinating into a strong wind comes to mind. AVG will take any offer that comes their way.

UK patients should have greater data slurp opt-out powers – report

Croc O'Dial

The information is worth a lot and we the "owners" will get no payment in return. Once the lawyers and health insurance companies get their hands on it then anonymity will pass away. Even with the best intentions in the world the government will not be able to protect identities fully and once Google get their way they'll get it all regardless anyway.

Consider writing to your GP and insist your data is not collected for distribution. It won't help but Royal Mail at least will benefit from the sale of the stamp.

Dell confirms price rise post Brexit vote as UK pound stumbles

Croc O'Dial

Re: Is this what they mean....

Pull your thumb out of your arse and stick it in your mouth and stop whining. Sooner or later, you'll get the tantrum out of the way. Until then, curl your bottom lip over and blubber in your spilt milk.

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