* Posts by Ian Emery

1407 posts • joined 9 Aug 2007

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Lloyds Bank outage: DDoS is prime suspect

Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

Rumour mill

I heard the cause was a rubber key sticking down on one of the half million "surplus stock" Sinclair Spectrums the servers run on.

Is that a helicopter or an ink sp.............................

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Trump inauguration DDoS protest is 'illegal', warn securobods

Ian Emery
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I am hoping for a return of the whitehouse.org.

After years of taking the urine out of GWB, a Trump version should be a no-brainer.

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Mr Angry pays taxman with five wheelbarrows worth of loose change

Ian Emery
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I actually sympathise with the guy

Trying to contact government departments can be a nightmare.

Having a foreign wife, I have had numerous interactions with UK Immigration , but even after 5 years, I still didnt have a phone number for them, and there isnt one published anywhere I could find.

When I tried to contact them over a fraudulent application made in my wifes name, I spent hours trying to get someone to put me through to a relevant person - completely in vain.

The damned letter they sent, confirming receipt of the application didnt even have a return address on it!!

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Customer: BT admitted it had 'mis-sold' me fibre broadband

Ian Emery
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"My Monster in Law, the wicked witch that she is, couldn't afford her sky phone line rental so they cut her off. They did forget however to disable her ADSL circuit so she currently has free internet access."

I had this happen with BT, having cut my voice line off 10 days after sending the 1st bill* (I was on holiday for 12 days), I refused to pay the reconnection fee

The arguments went back and forth through the BT complaints system for 18 months before I finally had had enough and told them to fuck off.

All that time, the internet worked perfectly (and no data cap!!)

*Dated the day I left for Russia, 2nd dated the day after, and the disconnection notice dated 3 days after that (a Monday - they dont work Sat/Sun), with the phone line being disabled the following Monday.

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The top doc, the FBI, the Geek Squad informant – and the child porn pic that technically wasn't

Ian Emery
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My 2p worth

Since the guy is obviously guilty of the most heinous crimes, I think the lawyer trying to get him off on a technicality should get done for aiding and abetting a known criminal.

I am not sure which of the two makes me sicker, some of the peodos are mentally ill, so some small sympathy, but the lawyer is scum.

BTW, as per an earlier post, I have found disturbing images on my PC after a virus attack in 2009, 1/2 one of my HDDs was full of what I would call "Nasty" porn, when I managed to regain control.

(As opposed to my porn collection on a different HDD).

The files were renamed and replacing legitimate files, so I spent the next 2 years going through family photo albums image by image to find and delete the nasty stuff.

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You have the right to be informed: Write to UK.gov, save El Reg

Ian Emery
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Re: Question

I am asking why El Reg hasnt done anything before now; did they not notice??

I am well aware of the act, and Private Eye have been campaigning against it since the day it was announced, but PE circulation figures are down in the churn compared to major dead wood publications, so very few pay attention, even after all the major scandals and stories they break - mainly because the big press read PE then steal the story, claiming it as their own.

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Ian Emery
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WTF?

Question

WHY have you only just noticed this??

Any chance of stopping this required a campaign LAST YEAR.

The only hope now is to take a hit, go to court and get the regulation overturned.

First one to blink..........

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Fake History Alert: Sorry BBC, but Apple really did invent the iPhone

Ian Emery
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For balance

Can we please have an article stating the BBC is wonderful and never lies??

Oh, sorry, just noticed you already have!!!!

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Dodgy dealer on Amazon lures marks towards phishing site

Ian Emery
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Mushroom

Amazingly, Amazon have NO SYSTEM for reporting this; after looking for a LG TV and finding nothing but email scams, plus one eStore that had obviously been hijacked, I tried to contact them - to no avail.

In the end (after 2 days) I posted a comment in the item reviews, the review was rejected 20 minutes later, and the offending eStore removed 10 minutes after that.

There were HUNDREDS of email scam entries under TVs the week before Christmas, and they were removing any chance of finding the genuine price on anything; but Amazon dont care.

I am closing my own eStore this month, I have no confidence in them any longer; it is safer to buy stuff on line from China.

Eat This Amazon

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Forget aircraft – now cretins are laser-blinding ferry boat crewmen

Ian Emery
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Re: Hmmmm.......

I was no.9 in a two lane queue at the lights last week, EVERY car in front of me was sat with their brake lights on.

I wish I still owned a high power air rifle.

I got stuck behind another moron (Audi TT natch.) in heavy traffic - with her fogs blazing, by dint of magic (same 2 lane section as above), I got in front and slapped MY rear fogs on - she had the nerve to flash me!!!

5 minutes later, and she was in front again, still with her fogs on, and yelling at me through her window as she went past.

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Speeding jet of Siberian liquid hot Magma getting speedier, satellites find

Ian Emery
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Windows

Why did I look at the headline and think of a Russian curry??

Please pass the chilli flavoured vodka

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The Register's Top 20 Most-Commented Stories in 2016

Ian Emery
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Re: To Brexit or Not To Brexit

Boaty McBoatface was never going to happen, you honestly think the cave dwellers in London would allow a SCOTTISH name??!!

Further predictions,

Brexit and Brexitina will become top ten baby names during 2017, with Brexitine surpassing the current council sink estate's "fav babbi" name" of "Crystal Meth".

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Ian Emery
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Alert

Still 12 hours to go

If we all try hard enough, we can get this past 279 comments and bugger the "Top 20 Comments List".

Batten down the hatches and start commentating.

BTW, My top prediction for 2017 -

Lots of well known people will die

Other people will wonder if this is the worst year EVER for well known people dying.

Sum pepl wil mayk u wonda if teh edukayzhun sistum is brok.

World ends 3 minutes after Trump gets his finger on the button.

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Snapchat coding error nearly destroys all of time for the internet

Ian Emery
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Alien

Could this explain why

My bank account keeps showing deposits from my wifes account (with a different bank) two days before she actually makes them??

NOT a joke.

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BT and Plusnet most moaned about broadband providers. Again

Ian Emery
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Heads Up People.

BT is a group of companies, and it is BT RETAIL that is complete crap; the proof is in the fact that small independent ISPs can get BT WHOLESALE and BT OPEN REACH to do things quickly and effectively.

After my ISP went rogue and I lost control of my phone line, BT Retail werent interested in getting me a line or internet service back - quoting 4-6 weeks.

Talking to a small ISP, they not only identified who now had control of my line (Talk Talk), they also managed to get BTOR out to fit a new line and supply VDSL in 10 days from talking to them.

My ISP is AQUISS, they are not the cheapest for BB, but if you make a lot of phone calls*, especially overseas, they will save you a loads of money, as their call charges are a tiny fraction of BTs; I call family in the UK and China for 5ppm, landline or mobile, peak, weekend or evening, with no connection or termination charges at all.

*NOT VOIP, I know VOIP is even cheaper, but the call quality can be quite bad at times.

As for Plusnet, I do wonder how stuffed the brown envelopes are, every time I see them win a "Best ISP" award.

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MPs suggest introducing web blocking to tackle suicide rates in UK

Ian Emery
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No sane would-be suicide would use paracetamol, it isnt a quick or pleasant death, taking two - three agonising weeks while your liver dissolves.

As for the 16 pack, the rules dont even work there, you can walk into any cash&carry and buy a cartoon of 16 packs; plus you can buy 2 of each brand even in a supermarket without issue.

I would rather they turned their internet ambitions to fixing their existing websites. I had to register my daughter for school today, and the only way to do it is to ignore and not enter a full post code when prompted; a horrible, HORRIBLE site, where clicking "No" means "Yes", where there are Yes/No buttons with no clear explanation of what they are for, and btw, it wont load correctly in IE, as several off site links for menu icons (FFS!!!) are broken.

It harks back to the day I tried to pay a parking ticket in Tewkesbury a few years ago, and found the council website payment system only worked correctly if you used IE6.

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Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

Ian Emery
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Top Floor Perks

One of the senior staff at a catalogue mail order company I used to work for had an expensive tv, video recorder, and satellite system built in to a huge cabinet in his office, ostensibly to monitor the companies adverts being shown in other European countries.

yeah, right.

We went and checked up one night.

Red Hot Dutch subscription, and he was taping it all night long to take home later.

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Is your Windows 10, 8 PC falling off the 'net? Microsoft doesn't care

Ian Emery
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Angel

Re: T0ssers!

Microsoft have turned all it's users to long-term ALPHA testers. That heap of poo Windows 10 should have never left the starting gate and maybe should have been turned into dog food by now.

There, fixed that for you.

Although a similar fix on another forum got me a warning for abusive behaviour!!

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Busted Windows 8, 10 update blamed for breaking Brits' DHCP

Ian Emery
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I know someone on SKY getting this problem in Worcestershire - might be a coincidence, but it started about the same time.

As for Win8/8.1/10 users, I will revert to my default Simpsons mode: HA HA!!

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'I found a bug that let anyone read anyone's Yahoo! Mail and all I got was this $10k check'

Ian Emery
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Misread as $10

And though that was a typical response from Yahoo.

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All aboard the warship that'll make you Sicker

Ian Emery
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Joke

On a different topic - The Photo

Are those red things the naval equivalent of training wheels??

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Sysadmin told to spend 20+ hours changing user names, for no reason

Ian Emery
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About 20 years ago, my then boss asked me how I had time to help out other staff, when my predecessor spent all week taking the various electric motors off line, testing the motor winding resistances (with a bog standard ohm metre) and recording them, to help identify which motors were starting to fail.

So I went and got a brand new, unused motor from stores, and a dead motor of the same type I had pulled the day before and showed him the ohm readings.

They were identical.

Then I went back to my cubby hole and read a book until someone wanted some help.

(A proper insulation tester would have shown some differences, but they werent willing to supply one, and I wasnt going to spend my own cash to buy one).

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HBO slaps takedown demand on 13-year-old girl's painting because it used 'Winter is coming'

Ian Emery
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Re: I've had a call

Since I mentioned in a product review on Amazon that the item was better than my speedo pair, I will stay up until 6am waiting for a call.

Some one was impressed with my review, because the next time I visited the pool, some tealeaf nicked them.

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Mirai variant turns TalkTalk routers into zombie botnet agents

Ian Emery
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Happy

At last, someone has found a use for TT routers!!

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Broadcom quietly dismantles its 'Vulcan' ARM server chip project

Ian Emery
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Live Long and... awww crap!!!

In it for the lulz.

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Firmware freakout sends Epson Wi-Fi printers into reboot loop

Ian Emery
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I think you are confusing them with Apple.

Epson would never say anything so smart/smarmy (take your pick)

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Ian Emery
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Boffin

I was only running WiFi as a stop gap,

As a firewall update has blocked it via ethernet - but says it hasnt.

I can check printer status, but any attempt to print a page fails.

Finally gave up and stuck it on a direct USB link and it works perfectly, so disabled the Wifi.

White hair and glasses, that me alright.

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Ian Emery
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Spooky

I decided to disable the Wifi on my Epson a few days ago, and I am still not sure why.

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US Supreme Court slashes Samsung's patent payout to Apple

Ian Emery
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Re: When this is all done

Ré $400 million each on lawyers.

I think you missed a few noughts out; if I remember correctly both sides have already spent more than the value of the fine fighting this case.

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RAF Club members emailed fake invoices. Has it been hacked?

Ian Emery
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Black Helicopters

A bit late with this one.

Reports about this were circulating about 6-9 months ago; the RAF of course denied a leak.

Same MO, an email with an invoice attached.

Lynx, natch.

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Canadian cops cuff 11-year-old lad after Grand Theft Auto gets real

Ian Emery
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Terminator

I miss the first GTA

Now if only they would do a refresh, where the Krishnas were replaced with Chuggers.......

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Scotland's Skyscanner sold to Chinese rival Ctrip in £1.4bn deal

Ian Emery
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Having used both companies

I cannot see how they do not fit together, SkyScanner do a decent enough job on worldwide flights, but like all non Chinese companies, have limited information on internal flights.

(They may show one, or even no internal flights when there are actually dozens).

Ctrip is WONDERFUL for internal Chinese flights, but once you cross the border they lose the plot.

Bolt the two together, and in theory you should be able to book through from any obscure Chinese city with an airport to anywhere in the world, and vice versa.

As long as the prices are good, I for one, will welcome this; until now it has been a PITA researching external flights with one company and trying to match them up with internal flights from the other.

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Make Christmas Great Again: $149 24-karat gold* Trump tree ornament

Ian Emery
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Gimp

Question

Am I correct in assuming that both the gold and the brass will be tarnished in some way??

I, for one welcome our new orange overlords, even if his hair (on a windy day), DOES remind me of that infamous Cameron Diaz "hair gel" scene.

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Ofcom slaps ban on BT/EE 4G spectrum bid

Ian Emery
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However, they also raise questions

Answers, in plain brown envelopes please, to...........

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Firefox hits version 50

Ian Emery
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Re: #2 is putting it generously

Have a Rennie, perhaps that will get FF to #1.

FF has always been a "download it if you want it", so its market share against silently or non optionally installed browsers like IE and Chrome are never going to show how good it is, or how many people might like to use it.

That post above, it was REALLY while I was reading the thread, I knew something was wrong because the install took 10 times longer than it should have, yet at no point was Chrome mentioned, and afterwards, there was no "Uninstall" option for it in the start menu, I had to open the control panel (which scares many casual users).

It also set itself as default - again with no interaction from me; so I am really pissed off, but not sure how much I should be aiming at Google, and how much at File Hippo (who I will never use again).

BTW, I know it wasnt the software writers, I downloaded it directly from them and no Chrome.

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Ian Emery
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WANKERS!!

Just downloaded a program via filehippo instead of direct from the maker, the tossers have added a silent install of Chrome.

FUCK OFF FILEHIPPO!!!

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Ian Emery
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360 Safe Browser 0.1

This is (I suspect), the latest Chinese knock-off of IE - stuffed with Chinese government spyware; their last version somehow ended up on SWMBOS PC (she being Chinese), and it was the devils own job to get rid of it, and the malware it allowed onto her system.

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Ian Emery
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I think I saw a PFY oiling a gun mount on HMS Belfast yesterday, could he know something we dont??

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Analysts apply Occam's razor to Tesco Bank breach

Ian Emery
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Boffin

" ustomers are advised to exercise caution when receiving calls or opening emails or SMS messages"

Or just change bank.

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Portable drive, 5TB capacity. Hmm, there's something fishy here

Ian Emery
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HAH!!

I havent checked it in a while, but I still have a 200MB MFM drive sitting in an Amiga (in the loft)

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Ian Emery
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Re: Landfill Disks?

Err, if the bin men havent been yet, can I have it? I am building a PC for my sisters 2 y/o and being unemployed for the last year, money is tight.

(Her husband died 12 days before Christmas last year, so the family are doing everything they can to take her mind off of it).

I have most of the parts, but a 500GB HDD is a lot better than a 160GB drive, which is the only reliable spare I have right now.

(I had multiple Seagate failures just after Christmas last year, so no spares left).

I know it sounds like a sob story, but it is true, he was helping his brother when he fell 15m through a barn roof, I'll PM the details if you want.

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Ian Emery
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Mushroom

Possibly a GB/MB mix up, or just a bit of exageration, as you can get USB drivesthat size, but there are VERY expensive.

But I would just like to add that the chances of the Seagate still working in 6 years time are remote at best; I have Hitachi and WD drives that have lasted over a decade, but my record for Seagate is 5 years, and more than one has failed inside the warranty period - despite this fact, Seagate have failed to replace them, so FUCK YOU Seagate, you will never get another penny of my hard earned cash.

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WileyFox Swift 2: A new champ of the 'for around £150' market

Ian Emery
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Just ordered a Xiaomi Note3 Special Edition (work on all UK 4G networks), for £120, IT has a finger print scanner, and far better specs than this WF phone - which, after all, is an off the shelf, budget Chinese model with a new back plate on it - it may even be an old Xiaomi phone based on the spec sheet.

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Ian Emery
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Since Fat32 will support up to 2TB, I am sure that the better file systems used by SDXC will support far, far more.

BTW, I have a Clarion car radio that claims only 32GB support, but it happily takes a 128GB card/usb drive when formatted correctly.

Still a POS though, I will never buy Clarion again.

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Angry user demands three site visits to fix email address typos

Ian Emery
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Joke

Re: Why didn't the service contract include extra charges for user errors?

Four hours during the London rush "hour" (00:01-23:59), could mean a distance of nearly a MILE!!

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Ian Emery
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Re: Ah Education

HAH!! "O" Level "C", with no help at all from the school or IT teacher; one of two mid-grades I am proud of, as the Head did his best to stop me even sitting the exams; he wanted everyone to only sit CSEs.

BTW, a degree only means you know a lot about a tiny area of one specialised subject; not that you are particularly bright (although you might be).

As I have just mentioned in another thread, I have had a degree (and private school), educated teacher ask me if apple crumble was vegetarian.

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Ian Emery
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Re: Nightmare!

One asked me if apple crumble was vegetarian!!

She is allegedly has a degree !!

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Britain must send its F-35s to Italy for heavy overhauls, decrees US

Ian Emery
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Re: Except they can't.

AH, a return to the 1950's; fins and loads of chrome!!!

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Ian Emery
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Look on the bright side

Trump may well cancel the program, or go ahead with his ban on exporting technology; then we will save billions and build all the hospitals that were promised by BREXIT.

And convert the aircraft carriers in to Drone Carriers.

Which would you fear, half a dozen badly designed aircraft armed with about 20 missiles in total, or 100+ ROTM drones armed with hundreds of missiles, and no fear of death??

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Trump's plan: Tariffs on electronics, ban on skilled tech migrants, turn off the internet

Ian Emery
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Boffin

Re: Now would be a great time

No one can speak Chinese.

There is no such spoken language.

Now if you want to learn to read and write Chinese, that is fine.

I for one welcome our new Chinese overlords, and have already burnt all the green hats in the household. My Red Book marriage licence is ready to be inspected, and a supply of chicken feet and boiled Labrador puppies laid in

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