* Posts by DailyLlama

105 posts • joined 16 May 2016


They're BAAACK: Windows 10 nagware team loads trebuchet with annoying reminders to GTFO Windows 7


The free upgrade hasn't gone away...

If you install Windows 10 on a device that had an OEM licence, it will activate Windows 10 for you after a little while. If it doesn't, just run the activation troubleshooter.

Microsoft changes DHCP to 'Dammit! Hacked! Compromised! Pwned!' Big bunch of security fixes land for Windows


Re: Adobe Flash

Yep, there were updates for Flash player for all browsers too. I guess they just didn't contain anything exciting enough to be written about.

On the eve of Patch Tuesday, Microsoft confirms Windows 10 can automatically remove borked updates


Re: flight mode

Hibernate is terribly bad for SSDs; it shouldn't even be part of the OS anymore, imho.

Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it


While working in Uxbridge, I was sent down to out office in Newton Abbot (Devon) to have a look at a server that wasn't working. So I got in my car, and set off at 8am. With traffic and roadworks, I arrived on site at just after 2pm. Walked up to the server, moved the connected mouse, and got no response on the monitor, so I restarted it. Everything was fine after that. So I got in my car and went home. I was in the office for precisely 10 minutes, and spent 10 hours driving.

Windows 10 1809 looks unlikely to overtake prior build before 19H1 lands


Re: My Own Voyage of the Damned

Nothing better?

There speaks someone who has clearly never used Windows 8...


Re: Apps...

Same here. We've done around 150 PCs since 1809 was properly released, and the Store is disabled by GPO. None of that Candy Crush nonsense on work computers please!

Not so smart after all: A techie's tale of toilet noise horror


Re: Computer sound is on in an open space ?

This a million times!


Mind bleach?

Try Mental Floss for better cleaning power!

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

Paris Hilton

Happened to me in reverse...

I was halfway through an anecdote about an old lady dropping a tenner on her way out of the supermarket (The guy behind her picked it up and started to walk off in a different direction, so *I* pushed him in the right direction and called her to say that this bloke had found her money that she dropped and wanted to return it), when I realised that one of the people in the group was the person who'd actually done it and I'd seen it happen... very embarrassing.

Paris, because well, it's embarrassing...

Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that


We've all done it

I put someone on hold once to complain about them to my manager, and even though the LED on the hold button lit up, it did not mute my mic.

Forunately, I didn't call them names or anything, just complained about how slow and unhelpful they were, but she didn't say anything, and just emailed my manager after the conversation. We all got "retrained" after that. And I got a new phone :-)

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed



Can we get one of those red mugs?

Sysadmin's three-line 'annoyance-buster' busts painstakingly crafted, crucial policy


Behind a locked door...

with a sign saying "Beware of the leopard"?



Did it fix the original problem that Todd had?

FTC gets back to work: Now, where were we? Break up Facebook and fine it $2bn, you say?


Re: Three companies that need to be broken up...

Yeah, but really, who can be bothered to do that?

Fake broadband ISP support scammers accidentally cough up IP address to Deadpool in card phish gone wrong


The real clue it was a scam...

Was that Virgin Media customer support contacted him within a week of his complaint!

Montezuma's Revenge can finally be laid to rest as Uber AI researchers crack the classic game


Did you really sign your name at the bottom of a comment posted by "Anonymous Coward"?

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found


We all know that governments love a good knee-jerk response though, so that they're seen to be doing something "now", rather than waiting 6 months and having a measured, well thought out response that takes legal hobbyists into consideration...

It's December of 2018 and, to hell with it, just patch your stuff


Re: I wouldn’t mind, but....

I bet they don't vaccinate their kids either.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics


It's 2018

If people don't know how to use a computer by now, they shouldn't even be in the workplace.

We all fall together. Azure MFA takes a tumble for the second week running



WIsh I could upvote that more times!

Have a drink on me

Groundhog Day comes early as Intel Display Drivers give Windows 10 the silent treatment


Office 2010

Why is anyone still using Office 2010 anyway? It's not like it'll even connect to Exchange servers anymore...

UK rail lines blocked by unexpected Windows dialog box



I managed to uninstall Office 2010 silently. It's not that hard...

Premiere Pro bug ate my videos! Bloke sues Adobe after greedy 'clean cache' wipes files


Re: Man...

You win the internet today. Good effort!

Californian chap sets his folks' home on fire by successfully taking out spiders with blowtorch


Re: blow torch... pfft

I say we pull back to the ship and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure

Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work



I used to work in an environmental lab, and one of the computers stopped working one day. I couldn't get it to do anything, so I popped the case, and found that all the acid in the air (due to the specific testing they did in this particular lab area) had eaten a lot of the solder, and many of the components weren't attached to anything anymore...

We drastically increased ventilation and fume extraction after that...

Faxploit: Retro hacking of fax machines can spread malware


Re: Denial of Service

Looping the black paper so it used all their toner/ink/ribbon too :-)

Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button


Not me...

But I've heard this story from three separate people at different times, so I believe it's true.

A man starts a job at a large crisp manufacturer in the UK. Let's call them Strollers. At the time (I don't know if they still do it, because of this) all new recruits in the head office were sent to one of the manufacturing sites to see how the products were made, and what their core business was about.

They're taken through the site induction, given security passes etc, then given a tour of the offices, where they meet and greet all the local staff, before suffering a morning full of the usual corporate nonsense and lectures. Then, just before lunch, they're told that they're visiting the plant.

So they get kitted out in the relevant PPE, and *stroll* into the building. As they go in the entrance, someone in a hi-vis waistcoat explains the safety procedures, and what happens if the fire alarm sounds.

Tired after a morning full of someone else talking, and no doubt looking forward to lunch, our hero gazes off into the distance and stops listening. Somewhere along the line, he hears the words "Press the red button". Looking to his left, he sees such a red button. Pointing to it, he asks "Like this one?"

"Yes" comes the reply.

He pushes the button. There's the slow inevitable sounds of EVERYTHING turning off. Fans stop whirring, conveyor belts stop moving, ovens stop baking etc...

Then there's uncomfortable silence.

"Why did you press that?"

"Because you told me to."

"I said, 'If there's an emergency, press the red button'"...

Yes, our hero shut down *Strollers* Crisps manufacturing plant for a couple of days, as once the machines are down, everything has to be drained, cleaned, and made ready to start up again.

*names changed to protect the guilty

Brit mobile phone users want the Moon on a stick but then stay on same networks for aeons


I was with BT Cellnet (yes, that long ago) and all was fine until I changed jobs, and couldn't get a signal in the office I worked at. Some of the people there were on Vodafone, so I switched to them. Only to find that I couldn't get a signal at home...

After a couple of years, Three started up, and I joined them, and found that I could get a signal both at home and at work, so I've been with them ever since, through two further jobs, and a house move.

MPs slam UK.gov's 'unacceptable' hoarding of custody images



GDPR prosecution, anyone?

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'


Re: Also watch out for hidden alarms

Happy towel day!

Microsoft gives users options for Office data slurpage – Basic or Full


Re: Corporate users?

Your IT guys just need to set up group policy correctly. My Windows 10 policy doesn't allow any telemetry to be sent back to M$. I'm guessing that the Office ADMX templates will be updated to reflect these changes too, and I'll just add them to the policy.

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick


I was expecting lots of Off the Wall comments, but nothing like this Thriller...

Surface Hub 2: Microsoft's pricey whiteboard gets a sequel

Thumb Up

I quite like ours...

We've got 3 of the 84" screens and 11 of the 55" ones, and they're great. You can connect wirelessly, or with cables, when you schedule the meeting, the room is invited to it and the Surface just becomes a medium for the meeting to happen in. It's part of the Skype conference, so everyone can see what's presented, you can see and hear the people who aren't in the room. Used properly, they're actually a really good collaboration tool.

*I'm not paid by Microsoft, but am entirely open to bribery..

UK.gov expects auto auto software updates won't involve users


It just needs to give you some warning before the update is installed - say 2 weeks.

"An update is available for your car, and has been downloaded. If you do not manually install it, it will be automatically installed in 14 days time".

That way you can wait and see if the update bricks anyone else's car, and if they have to rush out a fix, and the update gets installed regardless.

My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix


"I've never been a huge fan of wireless keyboards and mice in the office environment."

Nor me. At my first job, we had several people get "upgraded" to wireless mice, back when they were only available with a two channel switch. Problem was that there were more than two people in the office...

So all we would do if we wanted a laugh was flip the switch on our mice and start moving it in circles and randomly clicking until we heard someone else swearing, then we'd stop. Awfully childish, but very funny.

Privacy activists to UK plod: Wanna slurp folks' phone records? Come back with a warrant


Why would they need a warrant?

Just ask Facebook for all the details, they've already got everything about you!

Developer mistakenly deleted data - so thoroughly nobody could pin it on him!


Re: Del *.* - yes of course I'm sure!

I once bought two hard drives of the same spec, same manufacturer etc, and it turned out that the serial numbers were 1 character different. I used one for my C: drive, and one for the D: with all my music etc stored on it.

I was reinstalling Windows (98 SE I believe), and was asked to choose which drive I wanted to format. Given the choice of two seemingly identical serial numbers, I (sleepily) assumed that it was showing me the same one twice, so clicked on the first one.

I bet you can all guess what happened...

Microsoft says 'majority' of Windows 10 use will be 'streamlined S mode'



What company administrator is going to let their users install anything from the store, rather than a carefully controlled and tested SCCM environment?

I've just finished deplying my Group Policy to disable the store and all the crappy "home" features that we don't want people using in our Windows 10 environment...

No yolking matter: Google Translate cock-up gives Norwegians more than un œuf eggs



Does it mistranslate 1500 to 15000? Are numbers different or something?

Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither


Oh, the irony!

I clicked the link from the email, and Lo! was presented with this error:

Your connection is not secure

The owner of www.theregister.co.uk has configured their web site improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this web site.

Learn more…

Report errors like this to help Mozilla identify and block malicious sites

www.theregister.co.uk uses an invalid security certificate.

The certificate is not trusted because the issuer certificate is unknown.

The server might not be sending the appropriate intermediate certificates.

An additional root certificate may need to be imported.


I initially thought it was deliberate, but alas, I can't open any El Reg pages in FF today...

CPU bug patch saga: Antivirus tools caught with their hands in the Windows cookie jar


Re: What is difficult about setting a registry key ?

"Chipzilla and Littlezilla will definitely be named"

Chipzilla and Chipzooky, shurely?

The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?


Re: Opposite effect

Yep, that's me. I can't wear anything metal - glasses frames, watch, any form of jewellery, or it begins to corrode both the object and my skin where it comes in contact with it.

I also suffer(?) from TALATOBIG to the extent that someone once referred to me as a "Computer Whisperer".

'Please store the internet on this floppy disk'


Re: Printer Power

That's the best thing to do to a printer. Can't imagine why so many people want the blasted things...

Damian Green: Not only my workstation – mystery pr0n all over Parliamentary PCs


It's new worthy because in any other job, if caught with porn on his computer he'd have been fired. Or in any decent job, if he was caught sharing his credentials, he'd have been fired.

As it is, he only works for the public, so it's ok to be giving other people his login details and viewing porn at work, because all porn sites are clean and secure, and have no malware associated with them at all.

Oh, wait a minute...

Used iPhone Safari in 2011-12? You might qualify for Google bucks


Re: So...

Never mind that, where's the "Don't show me any advertising at all ever" function that's is sadly missing from every device I've ever owned?


Re: Actually

"Yes Google is in it for money too."

Yes, that's how businesses work. If they weren't in it for the money, there wouldn't be any businesses, and no-one would have a job.

Royal Navy destroyer leaves Middle East due to propeller problems


Re: Navy Lark Questions (@TRT -:you beat me to it again)

Perhaps it only turns to starboard to counteract Lt Philips' "left hand down a bit" commands...

Microsoft scoops Search UI out from the gaping black maw of Cortana


Re: Everyone has their price

In the same way that the Cable TV model is broken - I pay for my TV and I STILL get ads thrown at me. Wtf? One or the other Murdoch... either I put up with ads and my channels are free, or I pay the sub, and you don't get advertising revenue.

'Gimme Gimme Gimme' Easter egg in man breaks automated tests at 00:30


Re: Unprofessional bollocks

Or that bloody Paperclip?



I see what you did there...


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