* Posts by DailyLlama

90 posts • joined 16 May 2016


Montezuma's Revenge can finally be laid to rest as Uber AI researchers crack the classic game


Did you really sign your name at the bottom of a comment posted by "Anonymous Coward"?

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found


We all know that governments love a good knee-jerk response though, so that they're seen to be doing something "now", rather than waiting 6 months and having a measured, well thought out response that takes legal hobbyists into consideration...

It's December of 2018 and, to hell with it, just patch your stuff


Re: I wouldn’t mind, but....

I bet they don't vaccinate their kids either.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics


It's 2018

If people don't know how to use a computer by now, they shouldn't even be in the workplace.

We all fall together. Azure MFA takes a tumble for the second week running



WIsh I could upvote that more times!

Have a drink on me

Groundhog Day comes early as Intel Display Drivers give Windows 10 the silent treatment


Office 2010

Why is anyone still using Office 2010 anyway? It's not like it'll even connect to Exchange servers anymore...

UK rail lines blocked by unexpected Windows dialog box



I managed to uninstall Office 2010 silently. It's not that hard...

Premiere Pro bug ate my videos! Bloke sues Adobe after greedy 'clean cache' wipes files


Re: Man...

You win the internet today. Good effort!

Californian chap sets his folks' home on fire by successfully taking out spiders with blowtorch


Re: blow torch... pfft

I say we pull back to the ship and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure

Powerful forces, bodily fluids – it's all in a day's work



I used to work in an environmental lab, and one of the computers stopped working one day. I couldn't get it to do anything, so I popped the case, and found that all the acid in the air (due to the specific testing they did in this particular lab area) had eaten a lot of the solder, and many of the components weren't attached to anything anymore...

We drastically increased ventilation and fume extraction after that...

Faxploit: Retro hacking of fax machines can spread malware


Re: Denial of Service

Looping the black paper so it used all their toner/ink/ribbon too :-)

Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button


Not me...

But I've heard this story from three separate people at different times, so I believe it's true.

A man starts a job at a large crisp manufacturer in the UK. Let's call them Strollers. At the time (I don't know if they still do it, because of this) all new recruits in the head office were sent to one of the manufacturing sites to see how the products were made, and what their core business was about.

They're taken through the site induction, given security passes etc, then given a tour of the offices, where they meet and greet all the local staff, before suffering a morning full of the usual corporate nonsense and lectures. Then, just before lunch, they're told that they're visiting the plant.

So they get kitted out in the relevant PPE, and *stroll* into the building. As they go in the entrance, someone in a hi-vis waistcoat explains the safety procedures, and what happens if the fire alarm sounds.

Tired after a morning full of someone else talking, and no doubt looking forward to lunch, our hero gazes off into the distance and stops listening. Somewhere along the line, he hears the words "Press the red button". Looking to his left, he sees such a red button. Pointing to it, he asks "Like this one?"

"Yes" comes the reply.

He pushes the button. There's the slow inevitable sounds of EVERYTHING turning off. Fans stop whirring, conveyor belts stop moving, ovens stop baking etc...

Then there's uncomfortable silence.

"Why did you press that?"

"Because you told me to."

"I said, 'If there's an emergency, press the red button'"...

Yes, our hero shut down *Strollers* Crisps manufacturing plant for a couple of days, as once the machines are down, everything has to be drained, cleaned, and made ready to start up again.

*names changed to protect the guilty

Brit mobile phone users want the Moon on a stick but then stay on same networks for aeons


I was with BT Cellnet (yes, that long ago) and all was fine until I changed jobs, and couldn't get a signal in the office I worked at. Some of the people there were on Vodafone, so I switched to them. Only to find that I couldn't get a signal at home...

After a couple of years, Three started up, and I joined them, and found that I could get a signal both at home and at work, so I've been with them ever since, through two further jobs, and a house move.

MPs slam UK.gov's 'unacceptable' hoarding of custody images



GDPR prosecution, anyone?

Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'


Re: Also watch out for hidden alarms

Happy towel day!

Microsoft gives users options for Office data slurpage – Basic or Full


Re: Corporate users?

Your IT guys just need to set up group policy correctly. My Windows 10 policy doesn't allow any telemetry to be sent back to M$. I'm guessing that the Office ADMX templates will be updated to reflect these changes too, and I'll just add them to the policy.

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick


I was expecting lots of Off the Wall comments, but nothing like this Thriller...

Surface Hub 2: Microsoft's pricey whiteboard gets a sequel

Thumb Up

I quite like ours...

We've got 3 of the 84" screens and 11 of the 55" ones, and they're great. You can connect wirelessly, or with cables, when you schedule the meeting, the room is invited to it and the Surface just becomes a medium for the meeting to happen in. It's part of the Skype conference, so everyone can see what's presented, you can see and hear the people who aren't in the room. Used properly, they're actually a really good collaboration tool.

*I'm not paid by Microsoft, but am entirely open to bribery..

UK.gov expects auto auto software updates won't involve users


It just needs to give you some warning before the update is installed - say 2 weeks.

"An update is available for your car, and has been downloaded. If you do not manually install it, it will be automatically installed in 14 days time".

That way you can wait and see if the update bricks anyone else's car, and if they have to rush out a fix, and the update gets installed regardless.

My PC makes ‘negative energy waves’, said user, then demanded fix


"I've never been a huge fan of wireless keyboards and mice in the office environment."

Nor me. At my first job, we had several people get "upgraded" to wireless mice, back when they were only available with a two channel switch. Problem was that there were more than two people in the office...

So all we would do if we wanted a laugh was flip the switch on our mice and start moving it in circles and randomly clicking until we heard someone else swearing, then we'd stop. Awfully childish, but very funny.

Privacy activists to UK plod: Wanna slurp folks' phone records? Come back with a warrant


Why would they need a warrant?

Just ask Facebook for all the details, they've already got everything about you!

Developer mistakenly deleted data - so thoroughly nobody could pin it on him!


Re: Del *.* - yes of course I'm sure!

I once bought two hard drives of the same spec, same manufacturer etc, and it turned out that the serial numbers were 1 character different. I used one for my C: drive, and one for the D: with all my music etc stored on it.

I was reinstalling Windows (98 SE I believe), and was asked to choose which drive I wanted to format. Given the choice of two seemingly identical serial numbers, I (sleepily) assumed that it was showing me the same one twice, so clicked on the first one.

I bet you can all guess what happened...

Microsoft says 'majority' of Windows 10 use will be 'streamlined S mode'



What company administrator is going to let their users install anything from the store, rather than a carefully controlled and tested SCCM environment?

I've just finished deplying my Group Policy to disable the store and all the crappy "home" features that we don't want people using in our Windows 10 environment...

No yolking matter: Google Translate cock-up gives Norwegians more than un œuf eggs



Does it mistranslate 1500 to 15000? Are numbers different or something?

Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither


Oh, the irony!

I clicked the link from the email, and Lo! was presented with this error:

Your connection is not secure

The owner of www.theregister.co.uk has configured their web site improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this web site.

Learn more…

Report errors like this to help Mozilla identify and block malicious sites

www.theregister.co.uk uses an invalid security certificate.

The certificate is not trusted because the issuer certificate is unknown.

The server might not be sending the appropriate intermediate certificates.

An additional root certificate may need to be imported.


I initially thought it was deliberate, but alas, I can't open any El Reg pages in FF today...

CPU bug patch saga: Antivirus tools caught with their hands in the Windows cookie jar


Re: What is difficult about setting a registry key ?

"Chipzilla and Littlezilla will definitely be named"

Chipzilla and Chipzooky, shurely?

The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?


Re: Opposite effect

Yep, that's me. I can't wear anything metal - glasses frames, watch, any form of jewellery, or it begins to corrode both the object and my skin where it comes in contact with it.

I also suffer(?) from TALATOBIG to the extent that someone once referred to me as a "Computer Whisperer".

'Please store the internet on this floppy disk'


Re: Printer Power

That's the best thing to do to a printer. Can't imagine why so many people want the blasted things...

Damian Green: Not only my workstation – mystery pr0n all over Parliamentary PCs


It's new worthy because in any other job, if caught with porn on his computer he'd have been fired. Or in any decent job, if he was caught sharing his credentials, he'd have been fired.

As it is, he only works for the public, so it's ok to be giving other people his login details and viewing porn at work, because all porn sites are clean and secure, and have no malware associated with them at all.

Oh, wait a minute...

Used iPhone Safari in 2011-12? You might qualify for Google bucks


Re: So...

Never mind that, where's the "Don't show me any advertising at all ever" function that's is sadly missing from every device I've ever owned?


Re: Actually

"Yes Google is in it for money too."

Yes, that's how businesses work. If they weren't in it for the money, there wouldn't be any businesses, and no-one would have a job.

Royal Navy destroyer leaves Middle East due to propeller problems


Re: Navy Lark Questions (@TRT -:you beat me to it again)

Perhaps it only turns to starboard to counteract Lt Philips' "left hand down a bit" commands...

Microsoft scoops Search UI out from the gaping black maw of Cortana


Re: Everyone has their price

In the same way that the Cable TV model is broken - I pay for my TV and I STILL get ads thrown at me. Wtf? One or the other Murdoch... either I put up with ads and my channels are free, or I pay the sub, and you don't get advertising revenue.

'Gimme Gimme Gimme' Easter egg in man breaks automated tests at 00:30


Re: Unprofessional bollocks

Or that bloody Paperclip?



I see what you did there...

Car tax evasion has soared since paper discs scrapped


Mostly agree

But there's no need to increase the tax on fuel, it's already expensive enough thanks

Judge bins sueball lobbed at Malwarebytes by rival antivirus maker for torpedoing its tool


Re: Norton != Symantec

Be fair to Symantec; they were crap before that too.

BBC Telly Tax petition given new Parliament debate date


Re: If you have issues with the Telly Tax...

"If only that were still true, DailyLlama. Unfortunately, all BBC programmes are seperated buy long avertising cycles, on both TV and radio. On radio, news programmes are also routinely interrupted, sometimes every 8 ot 10 minutes, for a short advertising slot. The ads themselves are usually for future BBC programs, or just promoting the BBC itsellf. Just adverts for themselves, no more."

That's fine, I have no issue with that, but I can't stand watching a program where the titles run, then there's an ad break. You get 10-15 minutes of action, then another ad break, then another 10-15 minutes of action, and another ad break, then a final ad break before the credits roll. What kind of way is that to watch anything?


If you have issues with the Telly Tax...

Just try watching the sh!te on the other channels, peppered by adverts, and you'll soon turn back to the Beeb.

Microsoft downplays alarm over Windows Defender 'flaw'


Re: Security Researchers

"This is far into the theoretical, as it assumes an utter neglect for all warning - one is maybe acceptable, but ignoring all warnings ventures into the implausible"

You've never seen users just clicking boxes to make them disappear then? Most people don't even read them, just click OK to get it off the screen.

Microsoft Office 365 Exchange issues for users across Europe


Re: We've contacted Microsoft for comment. ®

At least they weren't trying to touch base, the perverts...

Vid game's easiest level makes players white, hardest level makes them black


The Scientology one was pretty good too... "R Kelly in the closet"

Belarus declares war on imaginary country within borders of Belarus that is better than Belarus


They may be imaginary

But they will all still beat us in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Nasty firmware update butchers Samsung smart TVs so bad, they have to be repaired


Re: Go Samsung!

Who wants to watch YouTube on a tv? The videos are usually such poor quality that they look sketchy on my 6" phone screen, let alone a 40" (or bigger) tv.

I have a Sony DVD/BluRay/Smart box that plugs into my Samsung tv, and that runs Netflix and Amazon Prime (although there's precious little on Amazon that's included in my subscription - whoever heard of paying £80 a year, and then being charged extra to watch films?)

Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!


Re: So much for digital

1024 if you undo your fly

Linux-loving lecturer 'lost' email, was actually confused by Outlook


We had a user who kept coiming back to us at least once a week saying ALL his emails had disappeared. We found them all in Deleted Items, and after a few weeks of this, we had a proper look at his laptop, and found that the keyboard hadn't been installed correctly, and the delete key was ever so slightly proud... so that when he closed the lid with Outlook open, the screen would press delete and remove everything for him.

US military gets authority to shoot down citizens' small drones


Re: 250 sized racing quads

I used to bullseye Womp Rats in my T-16 back home...

Revealed: The naughty tricks used by web ads to bypass blockers


Since I started using ad-blockers and blocking advertising domains via Open DNS, I haven't seen any malware or viruses on any of my computers (going on 3 years now).

We all deserve a break. Pack your bags. Four Earth-like worlds found around nearby Tau Ceti


Re: Colonization dilemma

Let's not get silly now!


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