* Posts by Zippy_UK

8 posts • joined 27 Apr 2016

We translated Intel's crap attempt to spin its way out of CPU security bug PR nightmare

Zippy_UK

DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC!...

INTEL - the computing equivalent of ENRON...

"WinTel" - Keeping computing in the Stone age where it belongs /SARC

INTEL - "At least we are not RBS"

INTEL - "..it was the Russians what done it.."

Meltdown, Spectre: The password theft bugs at the heart of Intel CPUs

Zippy_UK

Is this going to be Y2K all over again ? Does this mean rates will go up ?

London Stock Exchange's German mega-merger: It's a go, despite Brexit

Zippy_UK

Great - all this new Java code to be enhanced and maintained by 3 month retrained Cobal / mainframe programmers in their late 40's based in Frankfurt who have a very "European Social Market" style of regulated work ethic. Going no where...

The 4 stages of All-Flash storage: Denial, anger, bargaining... and integration

Zippy_UK

BIG BROTHER NEEDS FAST, UNLIMITED STORAGE

Programmable too. Halcyon days are on there way for CIA, MI5, ...

A Brit cloud biz and an angry customer wanting a refund: A Love Story

Zippy_UK

WE COME BARING CHEAP IT AND INFRASTRUCTURE

"Why pay so much for your IT/infrastructure - we will provide much quality for you for cheap. Step inside our wooden horse on wheels and we will explain. Come, come,..."

Old, complex code could cause another UK banking TITSUP – study

Zippy_UK

DON'T WORRY - RBS HAS IT COVERED

"Because of this problem, RBS executive management has acted quickly and efficiently to solve this problem by 1. Offshoring to cheap, inexperienced Indian IT operatives with a quality industry experience of less than 2 years 2. Cut back on all infrastructure spending and maintenance to bare minimum to re-invest in critical areas 3. Invested a whooping 50% of the money saved in point 2 in quality providers such as TCS and Gap Gemini so we can get the future delivered in the future where its needed. 4. Invested key priority areas such as restarting dividends, so share buy back programs can be re-started. 5. Paid extra money (including share options schemes, see point 4) to invest in the talent at the top (of our organisation)

to ensure it is retained"

DON'T WORRY CONSUMER, YOU MONEY IS SAFE WITH US.

Microsoft's Windows 10 nagware storms live TV weather forecast

Zippy_UK

USE THIS WONDERFUL OPERATING SYSTEM

Great free advertising to persuade customers to switch to Microsoft. The marketing department will be ecstatic

IBM says no, non, nein to Brexit

Zippy_UK

Keeping IBM er, I mean the UK in the EU is all part of IBMs "Business transformation plan" involving share buybacks, CEO salary hikes and job cuts / offshoring to turn it into the next global Crapita...

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