* Posts by gypsythief

123 posts • joined 22 Apr 2016


USB4: Based on Thunderbolt 3. Two times the data rate, at 40Gbps. One fewer space. Zero confusing versions


Use Case?

I can see external hard drives being one, if anyone still uses those (well, apart from Mac users without up-gradable internal storage), but for anyone else? My mouse transfers a few KB/s, my keyboard something similar. USB 2 actually suffices really well for the vast majority of [at least my] use cases.

In the meantime, I'm stuck shuftying files around my network at 1Gb/s. Plz can we haz 10Gb/s network kit at affordable prices, rather than faffing about with ever faster-faster-faster USB?

(Icon --> my over-loaded switch going nuclear)

Cops told live facial recog needs oversight, rigorous trial design, protections against bias


Re: London police commissioner Cressida Dick...

"Can a woman be a dick?"

Maybe this depends upon whether you're left-pondian, right-pondian, or upsidepondownian, but going by the Urban Dictionary's first definition for "being a dick":

"conducting oneself in an inappropriate manner to the annoyance of others"

then yes, a woman most certainly can.

(As can men, cats, and photocopier sales-people ;)


London police commissioner Cressida Dick...

... a clear case of nominative determinism if ever I saw one.

Holy crappuccino. There's a latte trouble brewing... Bio-boffins reckon 60%+ of coffee species may be doomed


Re: Umm... nope.

"Once upon a time during the minor warming period in the dark ages, England grew some acceptable varietals for a short time."

"There's been wine produced in the UK pretty much continuously since the Romans arrived, it certainly didn't require the Medieval Warm Period to make it viable."

There is a distinct difference between acceptable and viable.

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz


I'm So Meta, Even This Article

C'mon, with all this talk of meta, shirley someone else noticed?


Fake 'U's! Phishing creeps use homebrew fonts as message ciphers to evade filters


fg xjc dua ihut vyfq, xjc uih jci sfat jg mjggfa

If you can read this, you are our kind of boffin

Well, thank you very much.

Grab a bucket and spade: Sandbox open for Insiders again with fresh Windows 10 build



Fine! So that doesn't utterly remove Cortana (I still have a Cortana process running), but it does turn it into a standard search thingumydoodad instead of an all-ur-data-belongz-2-uz monstrosity.

I think.

Or hope.



Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\Windows Search]


Chip-for-tat escalates: Qualcomm's billion-Euro bond to block Apple iPhone sales in Germany


Re: third-party retailers could still offer the affected iPhone models

My guess is that it would be unfairly penalising third party retailers by depriving them of a revenue stream, when it is Apple that may be at fault, not the third party retailers.

It isn't "JoBloggsMobilePhonez4U.de" that's (allegedly) ripped off patents, so it seems fair (to me) to leave them out of the dispute by allowing them to carry on selling iPhones.

It's 2019, the year Blade Runner takes place: I can has flying cars?


Re: 30 years, perhaps more, to reach human-level AI

Dammit! it was a unicorn!


Re: 30 years, perhaps more, to reach human-level AI

"Cyborgism isn't the future either."

It is always those that are, that deny it most strongly.

Deckard didn't think he was a replicant either... tell me, has someone made you an origami crane recently?

Boffins build bugged bees bearing backpacks


Re: "Minimize harm done to their surveillance bees"

"Very Punny Honey :-)"

Nice one! Though I prefer thick-set myself.

It gives you more time to spread it on your crumpet before it starts dripping out the bottom.


"Minimize harm done to their surveillance bees"

I'm glad to hear the researchers earned their stripes and beehived themselves by treating the bees fairly.. Animal cruelty can create such a buzz in the media.

I'm sure they will continue to hone-y their skills in this area, and wax lyrical about their results.

Anyway, time for me to stop droning on... mine's the white one with the mesh hood.

Brit bomb hoax teen who fantasised about being a notorious hacker cops 3 years in jail


Better late than never:

There was a young nutter from Watford,

Who tried to wrangle a bot hoard.

He's been sent to the clink,

With na'ery a blink,

His hacking career has not soared!

OpenStack 2018: Mark Shuttleworth chats to The Reg about 10-year support plans, Linus Torvalds and Russian rockets


Re: Beardbait

Here you go:


Your're wlecome!

What's big, blue, and short on Intel? The supercomputer world's podium: USA tops Top500 with IBM Power9


I wonder what they use it for?

I was on a tour of the Met Office a few years back. When they were showing us their shiny super-computer (only through a window in the door, we couldn't poke it), I asked if it was possible to play Tux Racer on it.

And I was assured by the guide, that yes, it was!

Premiere Pro bug ate my videos! Bloke sues Adobe after greedy 'clean cache' wipes files


Re: "it's fairly trivial with the right tool."

"and whats that? names please"

In a word, Photorec:


It's FOSS, works on (pretty much) all platforms, recovers (pretty much) all files from (pretty much) all loss scenarios.

No association, but it is my go-to recovery tool and has never let me down. Highly recommend it.

Amazon Prime Music turns the volume down a little too much


Re: The Sound of Silence

Hello AC, my old friend

I've come to spy on you again,

Because Alexa softly sneaking,

Took your privacy while you were sleeping,

And the dystopia that was planted in your home,

Always remains,

For the profits of Besos.

(Of course, Paul Simon was railing against the death of conversation caused by the telly-telly-bunkum-box. He was so prophetic with his vision, yet utterly failed to see how far things would fall...)

Activists raise alarm over insidious creep of surveillance in the UK


Re: "Do any of those topics interest you?"

"...stand at the stove for hours stirring the jam..."

ah, a bar stool (I suppose obvious if I'd thought about it...); I had this silly vision of someone sat on a milking stool, stirring jam over a Trangia.

Shame about not making Courgette jam though. I was rather curious as to what that would be like (though I'm sure chutney makes a good substitute!)


Re: "Do any of those topics interest you?"

Well, actually, yes (though I'm not the AC to whom you were replying...)

"whether or not I should grow courgettes next year and whether or not I'll ever get around to making jam with this years harvest (not until I get a new stool I won't)."

Two questions arise from this statement: 1) Why do you need a stool to make jam, and 2) what on earth does courgette jam taste like anyway?!?*

(*Well, courgettes, I suppose...)

UK getting ready to go it alone on Galileo


Re: Yeah, but we won.

It's an oldie, but a goody...

"Didn't we? We won?":

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!

(With all due apologies to all the lovely German folks, especially those who brewed the bier I'm now drinking...:)

Galileo, here we go again. My my, the Brits are gonna miss EU


Re: Brexit means Brexit

Who would have thought that becoming a third country

Who would have thought that becoming a third world country...


Personally I'm dreading the 10 year recession followed by an irrelevant economy more than the lack of access to Gallileo...

India tells its banks to get Windows XP off ATMs – in 2019!


What's with the scary header picture?

When I scroll down the article, the "ink" from the skull's eyes and mouth flows briefly down the page, as though the undead skull of Windows XP had returned from the grave to consume my very soul.

Anybody else getting this? I'm not sure if it's some clever javascript trickery, an artifact of my monitor, or nightmares emerging from the forgotten depths of my subconcious.

Boffins urge Google to drop military deal after Googlers storm out over AI-based super-drones


Re: The choices

"After all, there are still 1.5 billions of capitalists on this planet (as the result of ignorance) and such states as America and the EU will use AI in any form to get warfare advantage. Open your eyes and see imperfect world you live in.

I would write FTFY, but I doubt it's fixed even yet; we're all as bad as each other, and, as the saying goes, one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter.

They're at it, we're at it. I keep hoping for a Star Trek style world, where nobody feels the need to shoot / bomb the living hell out of anyone else just 'cos the grass in greener on the other side, but I fear I hope in vain...

(...and besides, my neighbour has a new car that I wanna drive...)

Billion-dollar investor tells Facebook: Just Zuck off, already!


Re: that Chrome (and therefore Vivaldi)

This is incorrect, Vivaldi *does* respect your hosts file. I have just tested by adding " facebook.com" and bingo, I can no longer access Facebook from Vivaldi. Remove the line, and I can access it again.

Remember that Vivaldi is based on Chromium so doesn't pick up a lot of Googleisms in the Chromium -> Chrome conversion, like using Google's DNS servers.

Astro-boffins find new type of super-fast supernova


I'd reckon the denizens of the nearby planets were a bit star-struck when they FELT that shock-wave go by!

Life's a beach – then you're the comms nexus of the British Empire and Marconi-baiting hax0rs


Oops, Missed this one

Still, on the map now!


Fancy a viaduct? We have a wrought Victorian iron marvel to sell you


Reminds me of this terrifying beast:


The railway itself is disused, so you are free to walk across; however, the sleepers merely span the gap, with _nothing_ between them apart from the fresh air betwixt yourself and the sea below. The walkway to the side, despite being solid, really wasn't much better.

If anyone fancies testing their mettle against it, you can find it here:


But back on topic, the Geek's Map to Britain has been updated with the Bennerley Viaduct:


(only 4 posts to go (after this one) until I can post actual proper hyperlinks. Yay!)

Fear the wrath of robots, for their judgement is final and irrevocable


"we need to remember that...

...ratings hide as much as they illuminate. Data scrubbed of story can be cruel and unforgiving."

Obligatory XKCD:


Iiyama reanimates LCD cartel lawsuit corpse, swings it at Samsung


Re: Can we add to that Size-fixing

Well, to be partially fair to them, the whole 16:9 thing came about because of the unwashed-masses watching and buying their telly-telly-junkum-boxes in that horrendous ratio, thereby driving down the wholesale price of 16:9 LCD panels.

That said, I am fully with you that 16:10 kicks donkey-ass, and is the One Ratio to Rule Them All (well, apart from maybe 3:2, but you're looking at an oh-my-flipping-goosberries, 'ow much!! Microsoft Studio for one of those screens).

In the interim, may I highly recommend a Dell U2412M*, @ 1920x1200 16:10 goodness. I've had mine for several years now and have been very pleased with it, using it for tasks such as gaming and photography. You can pick it up in the UK for £250-ish which seems quite a good price for a Proper Monitor.

*No shares with Dell, so feel free to bung me one of those virtual beers the Reg offers as compensation for my sage advice:)

Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers


Re: Why can't I remove Groove from Win10?

Obstinate [cr]apps can be removed with Powershell. Open Powershell with administrator privileges and enter:

Remove-AppxPackage "Microsoft.ZuneMusic"

followed by:

Remove-ProvisionedAppxPackage "Microsoft.ZuneMusic"

to stop it appearing for new user accounts.


Laser sauce, cheat code, jam seshs: The Waymo vs Uber trial kicks off


Re: One thing I am intrigued by...

From what I recall of the original Nanny article here on the Reg, she was a bit rubbish at nannying, and rather good at fact recall and finding out useful stuff.

I think she was a plant: an undercover PI placed by Google to dig up some dirt. And the perfect recall? Recording device. Heck, probably had his whole house bugged.

That would make the law suit she's bringing a cunning sham to get the dirt into the public eye and nicely discredit Kalanickers.

‘I crashed a rack full of servers with my butt’


Re: Just finger trouble

"I managed to keep the button in, so the power stayed on"

I did this a few times, back when computers had Turbo buttons and switches were Real Switches instead of these noncy soft-switches they are today. The trick was to very quickly let go of the button, then instantly slam it back in again. Usually, enough residual power resided in the capacitors of the PSU to carry it through, and the computer would stay on.

No, Windows 10 hasn’t beaten Windows 7’s market share. Not for sure, anyway


And they were so close...

I get to use Windows 10 Enterprise LTSB at work, and you know what? It's great. It's fast, it's stable, it has (virtually) no slurp, it has 10 years support; y'know, like Windows versions always did.

There are no unmanageable [cr]apps to deal with, no frantic 6 month upgrade treadmill, just quite, peaceful computing. So, it gets slapped on everything that comes with any other version of Windows 10, and Just Works.

I think that if Microsoft had made the standard Windows 10 like they made the LTSB version, they would have had a much more compelling product, that would have done a lot better. As it is, the stats speak for themselves.

What a Hancock-up: MP's social network app is a privacy disaster


other fairly intrusive "deets"

What the fuck* is a "deet"?

(Apparently, according to Urban Dictionary, it's a "detail)"

There's another journalist who writes for The Register who insists on using "peeps".

For fucks* sake, you're professional journalists, not children. Use proper language.

*Apologies for the swearing, but this pointless neo-millenial abbreviation drives me up the wall...

Worcestershire's airborne electronics warfare wonderland


A Geek's Guide to the World!

I've just updated the Geek's Map* with this entry along with the recent Osowka one (https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/2/2018/01/11/osowka_underground_city/), which was filed under bootnotes.

I posted a quick comment on that article, but as it is already a bit old and might not be noticed, I thought I'd re-post here: is the Geek's Guide going to expand to Europe? Heck, why not get the American and Australian Vultures involved too?

A Geeks Guide to the World! It would make for some fun diversions whilst on holiday.

*http://www.gypsythief.org.uk/GeeksMapToBritain/ is a map of all the Geek's Guide to Britain sites for those who don't know. (But please try not to boot me off Mapbox again for exceeding my free views! (although they let you straight back on again, so whatevs :))

Heart of darkness: Inside the Osówka underground city


The Geek's Guide to Britain is officially dead.

Welcome to the Geek's Guide to Europe!

(P.S. Dear El Reg: I am wanting to go on a road-trip around Europe soon; please add lots more interesting European Geeks Guide spots before then. Thanks, Gypsythief)

Microsoft's 'Surface Phone' is the ghost of Courier laughing mockingly at fanbois


Re: So, they've invented the book? Or the hinge? Or both?

No, they've invented the connector. I think...

from the patent:

"The connectors can connect the displays to each other and/or to other components via conductors, such as flexible printed circuits that are connected to the connectors."

Really! How the donkey-dooberries is that possibly patentable?!? The connectors are connected to the connectors? Well, duh! Welcome to Circuitry 101...

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar


If I were granted three wishes

I'd have a hundred and eleven wishes.

Juno's July fly-by gave NASA a close-up of the Great Red Spot


Re: there is no muzak in space

Muzak!! Muzak!?!?!

That was Vangelis, you heathen!

Report at once to your nearest Electric Sheep re-education centre!

'DJI Mavic' drone seen menacing London City airliner after takeoff


Why not ban planes?

Because, according to a recent report, it is safer on a plane flying to or from Australia, than it is being there.

Banning planes would condemn all the poor Aussies to a fate of being eaten alive by rampant crocodiles, or bitten to pieces by hungry sharks, or mauled to shreds by a ravenous drop-bear, or stung to death by ants the size of bulldogs, and deny them a fair chance of escape!

Forget Sesame Street, scientists pretty much watched Big Bird evolve on Galápagos island


"The proof of a pudding is in the eating though"


4 Big Birds

8 Rashers of Bacon

500g Suet Pastry


Place the plucked Big Birds in a roasting tray, and drape 2 rashers of bacon over each Big Bird

Roast for half an hour at Gas Mark 6, basting with the bacon fat.

After half an hour, wrap each Big Bird in suet pastry, and then steam for 4 hours.

I think you'll find that does a grand job of prooving the pudding!

(And don't forget a nice pint of ale to wash it down)

Apple whispers how its face-fingering AI works


Re: That's all very well ...

"One thousand quid, my arse"

Did you really mean to write that? 'Cos a few money-bags MP's with a particular leaning might well take you up on that...


Amazing Infinite Processing Power!

"...several hundreds of gigaflops per second"

So several hundreds of giga floating operations per second per second.

Accelerating frantically, until at 15.67 times the theoretical maximum velocity of a sheep in a vacuum, its mass increases so much the phone collapses in on itself, forms a mini black-hole, and sucks the bushy beard right off the hipsters face!

The horror! The lolz! The raw, unbridled, infinite processing power!

Belgian court says Skype must provide interception facilities


Re: Still better than ours want

"A targetted investigation requires a warrant or court order in the U.K. "

Yes. Yes it does. A targeted investigation does indeed. So, why bother targeting? Way too much work, old boy. Let's just introduce the Snooper's Charter and slurp it. Slurp it all!!! Why, there's nothing targeted about that!

So yes, unless Belgium has its own Snooper's Charter, it is indeed better than what Britain or America are up to.

Microsoft slowly closes Outlook Premium's door while Office 365 winks at you across the street


Re: Backing up and patching an email server is relaxing?

No, knowing that the NSA or GCHQ aren't rifling through my emails, or that the corporate behemoth isn't selling my data to the advertising agencies, or that said corporation isn't going to suddenly change its terms or offerings and make me have to move... they're the relaxing things.

Patching: I run Axigen, a mail-server-in-a-box, on an Ubuntu vm; Ubuntu is set to auto-update and drop me an email when it does. Axigen only occasionally release updates, so I install them as needed.

Backups: as I mentioned, its all in a vm; I have Veeam backing up the entire vm nightly, and again emailing me the result.

All I have to do is sit back, swig my coffee and keep an eye on the notification emails. Bear in mind of course that this is for personal email for me, not mission critical stuff for an enterprise.


Re: Bait and Switch

I wouldn't really call it bait and switch; Outlook Premium has been around for long enough that this doesn't really count.

Rather it seems to be more a consolidation of services: Outlook Premium and Office365 offer similar features, have the same front-ends, but run on different back-ends. This will allow MS to combine a few servers and save some admin effort and a few bucks.

That said, I got fed up of their constant tweaks to Office365 some while ago (focused in-box?!? I'm the only one who knows which emails are important, thank you!) and now self-host my own email server.

Not being beholden to some corporate behemoth for my email is strangely relaxing.

Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta


Re: Could Defender stop showing a warning icon...

Yes, it could. I'm probably 12 hours too late for this post to be seen, but here goes:

Screenshot 1: https://i.imgur.com/dnIkfvs.png

Here, I have just turned off Automatic Sample Submission. Notice how the Defender tray icon is showing a warning icon, along with an alert in the main Defender Security Centre window.

Critically, clicking the "Dismiss" link by the alert does not just dismiss the alert from the Security Center window: it also dismisses the warning icon from the system tray.

Screenshot 2: https://i.imgur.com/AjHPfxB.png

Notice how Automatic Sample submission is still set to "Off", yet the tray icon has a happy little green tick icon on it again.

Aaah, peace!

Boss visited the night shift and found a car in the data centre


" I can't even get the spark plugs out of my wife's car."

That's 'cos they don't have spark plugs in diesels.

Ok, ok, I'm outta here. Mine's the one with the Haynes manual in the pocket.


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