* Posts by Ripper38

36 posts • joined 3 Apr 2016

BOFH: State of a job, eh? Roll the Endless Requests for Further Information protocol


Talking of " in the system"...

What was it? Wandsworth? Wormword Scrubs? ... Pentonville? I mean all those defenestrations.

Brain brainiacs figure out what turns folks into El Reg journos, readers


Me ? Pessimist?

Ok. I just painted my front door black but on the plus side now I can try to finish installing openvpn on linux mint while the paint dries.

US senators ask FTC to investigate Google's Location imbroglio


you're currently at Tesco, why not pick up some discount ham today

Some spam perhaps?... whistles "Always look on the bright side of life" while putting coat on...

Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

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Re: So sad

@ Rose Compass. Up-voted, not because

1- 'failed' the 11-plus - check

2- 'secondary modern' (late 60s) - check

3- ...attended a comprehensive school in the 1970s, - check (well actually 3)

4- Medieval History - loved it so - check

but because

"[Checked with a paper dictionary before submission!]"

FCA 'gold-plates' EU rule, hits BYOD across entire UK finance sector


...what you're looking for is plausible deniability,

I can just see a certain Simon T sharpening his pencil for a BYOD special.

Dawn of The Planet of the Phablets in 2019 will see off smartphones


Wot about the wearables?

Not in my life time? damn! And there was me thinking the trend was towards wearables

Did eye just do that? Microsoft brings gaze tracking to Windows 10


Re: Gentle privacy reminder


1) Put black tape on the front-facing camera.... check!

2) Put a dummy plug into your 3.5mm microphone jack... Uh oh! Haven't had one of those in years.

BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY


Re: True to tradition

@ Pascal Monett... and a brilliant start to the week! Fortunately the wife hadn't actually put the cuppa down on the suddenly very active desk yet!

Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?


Re: Fibre... PC is a "hard drive"....

@ GregC What's a PC? ...asking for a Gen XYZ something grandchild

BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back


Won't somebody think of the children, uh, the future BOFHs?

Looking back on some of their verrrry old exploits I started seriously fretting about BOFH & PFY's future especially after reading this: https://qz.com/985808/your-it-job-is-at-risk-if-you-currently-do-these-things-for-a-living/ and then I thought, G̶o̶d̶,̶ ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶r̶s̶t̶y̶...W̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶L̶u̶n̶c̶h̶ "Nah! They wrote the manual" Plus, it says: “Strategic senior level jobs such as CIO or CTO roles won’t vanish, but with the organisation pyramid getting leaner, companies would require fewer managers to manage different teams,” ... Managers vanishing? Well, if that isn't Business As Usual with our favourite IT team...

Drunk user blow-dried laptop after dog lifted its leg over the keyboard


Re: Good on Jim

...um. up-voted for the cartoon!

SPY-tunes scandal: Bloke sues Bose after headphones app squeals on his playlist


Was Bose slurping the metadata as well?

I'd be even more worried if they were slurping the metadata!

BOFH: Password HELL. For you, mate, not for me


Re: Welcome back Simon...

...and on my birthday too!!!

Queen Lizzie awarded good behaviour medal


Re: Ah yes. More confirmed kills than anyone else

Re: all that, and then some... Oh yes. After 65 years of LS&GC me thinks HM knows a thing or two that would shame even the wiliest of ex(?) KGB officers.

Double-negative tweet could be Microsoft Surface Phone hint


Re: Depnds (Depends) on your English dialect

@Voyna i Mor... excellent point, but, um, Jamais je ne utilise un téléphone s'écrit "Jamais je n'utilise Windows" FTFY! ...Désolé. Je m'en vais

Microsoft redfaced after Bing translation cockup enrages Saudis



"...the error occurred because Bing Translator has a crowdsourcing function – if a large group of people (he estimated over a thousand) suggest a translation, then it becomes listed as a possible answer"

Oh, so now it's the translators' fault? Blaming anonymous crowdsourcing resources is a lame excuse and just proves that:

a) Somebody or some “thing”, in the house that Bill built, isn’t doing their or its job, either that or they’re extremely naive not to have red flagged certain , say, TLA org sensitive words and let translations go through unchecked

b) Somebody or some “thing” at Bing Translator doesn’t check or clean-up the terminology base (MTs can do that today)

b) Some wicked, wicked trolls are pissing themselves with laughter. Imagine, today Daesh, tomorrow the Drumpf… the world (of Bing) is my oyster, and

c) That sarcasm and irony identification thing still needs working on.

Mine's the one with the copy of Slipknot's Iowa album in the pocket

Angler hooks German's todger at nudist lake


IT angle?

Scandalous Daily Fail clickbait... wait. This is El Reg, right? Ok, carry on that man. By the way. What is the IT angle ? Phishing ?

New UK trade deals would not compensate for loss of single market membership

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Re: Really ....The "great" prefix denotes...

@ mad physicist Fiona. Spot on analogy, bravo!

How Brussels works: if you can’t beat them, join rewrite an EU directive


Re: wats next

@ IsJustabloke: HMRC say: Challenge accepted! ... Hum! HMRC might look to the German govt. who,having already a whopping budget surplus, have just thought up another idea to make even more money: p̶u̶n̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶d̶r̶i̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶s̶s̶i̶l̶ ̶f̶u̶e̶l̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶s̶ Encourage people to buy electric cars.by adding a Green tax on petrol (Barrel price sinks; price at the pump stays the same)

Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?


Tea or milk first?

Yes, yes. As one who remembers tea ladies and trolleys both in the office and on the trains, there's no doubt about it! Question is though, tea or milk first?... Oh, and it better not be any of that arty-farty Starbucks stuff!

What Brexit means for you as a motorist


Pointless article, sterile debate

Have to agree with one commentard. We're getting inundated with a mass of pointless, speculative space filling articles about what may, could, might happen to insular Britons/English if Brexit etc and so on. There's not even a "should" or an "in all probability" let alone, and God forbid, anything resembling an enagement to make it happen.

(nb. I say insular as opposed to those of us Britons/English on the other side of the water very merrily exploiting, uh benefiting from the EU).

Furthermore, and from a relatively safe distance of several hundred clicks away in Merkalland I can say that British politicians are doing us proud: between the Labour meltdown and the Tory skullduggery it makes the Borgias, the Medicis and the Game of Thrones look decidedly tame.

PS. Make Boris PM the hang, draw and quarter the conniving bastard.

Patriotic Brits rush into streets to celebrate… National Cream Tea Day


A no brainer

From a Janner/Devonian heathen....Sterile debates with misleading claims from pompous gits... uh, sorry blotted confabulating buffoons make me so angry I could crush Brazil nuts with me buttocks... Of course its milk then tea and cream, then jam and just let me catch you putting butter on a scone. </sarc but not quite>

Drinking to forget? OK. But first, eat a curry... QUICK!


Two for the price of one

@Google. Icon says it all.... First Lewis Page + Comments


... then a Lester Haines special to round the day off to:


Lester Haines: RIP


My favourite


Belgian brewery lays 3.2km beer pipeline


I am shocked

that you would think of using cats.... poodles have a much better track record for this sort of job!

Swiss effectively disappear Alps: World's largest tunnel opens


Re: Swiss efficiency

OK, I'll bite: Stuttgart 21, Elbphilharmonie, BER Airport are all in Germany, so the connection is what? Nothing to do with Swiss efficiency either but never mind, the French built quite a nifty theme park... about wine. Huh! Who'd a thought it: http://www.businessinsider.com/theme-park-for-wine-lovers-france-2016-5

NetApp ain't all that: Flashy figures show HPE left 'em for dust


Re: Eh?

@ mtjwatts: NIce one, Matt. Have a beer

You wanted innovation? We gave you Clippy the Paperclip in your IM client


AI -> AH -> AO

Well! Nobody can accuse Andrew Orlowski of being artificially intelligent, now can they?

The Windows 10 future: Imagine a boot stamping on an upgrade treadmill forever


Re: Here's the Windows 10 future I see ... it will be used to download Android desktop

@ xybyrgy Thought I recognized it. Full marks and a pint for the Harry Harrison reference.

'Knucklehead' Kansas bloke shoots self in foot


Re: A/C Re: @BurnT'offering - The only way to bring gun sense to the US

... Oh, and tanks too....citation: http://mashable.com/2015/08/25/jelly-belly-tank-man-dies/#4J0gdFdnN8qL

my pleasure and mine's the one with the 120mm sticking out

A Brit cloud biz and an angry customer wanting a refund: A Love Story


Re: "We are the engineers"

Jeez! If that's the engineers then I'd hate to meet their BOFH

Intel literally decimates workforce: 12,000 will be axed, CFO shifts to sales


Re: @ ephemeral "literally" "decimates". Further improvements

@ ephemeral

Beg to differ on the Its vs It’s thing


Apple faces €48.5m fine from furious French


Apple faces €48.5m fine from furious French

@AC. "It's pocket change to Apple though".

It maybe be pocket change at the moment but the French will keep nibbling the Apple until it starts to feel the pinch and as a wise man once said " Look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves"

Tesla books over $8bn in overnight sales claims Elon Musk


Re: Lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way.

@Mikel: We could use more captains of industry like this... I'd slip "Visionary" in there and then agree! Tim Cook is a captain, Jobs was a visionary capitain

You can't dust-proof a PC with kitchen-grade plastic food wrap


Re: Oil Bath

@ I ain't Spartacus Re: Oil Bath: definitely worth a beer, that one.

Google tried to be funny, cocked it up, everyone thought it was a bug



Title says it all!

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