* Posts by Ochib

61 posts • joined 22 Mar 2016

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Super Cali health inspectors: Tesla blood awoke us

Ochib

unionists, were they the fellows who keep saying "NO NO NO NO"

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US, UK cyber cops warn Russians are rooting around in your routers

Ochib

Problem is that most home routers are supplied by the ISP and updated by the ISP.

When I was a Sky customer, i attempted to replace the rebadged netgear router with something a bit more secure. I asked for my ADSL usename/password and was told that they did give that information to the customers as their service would only work with their routers. A few days later there was a report about all the security issues with sky routers.

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France wants you to put lights and beacons on your drone

Ochib

Is there any rule for the maximum power output for the drones, since broadcasting at over 20 watts may screw up IEEE 802.11n communications.

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How do you get drones talking to air traffic controllers? Pretty easily, says Brit startup

Ochib

Re: Bugger!

I thought I had a rich uncle. But he has only got a glider

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UK smut overlord declares age checks should protect users' privates

Ochib

"This includes offering clear information for end-users on data protection; that tools don't ask for more data that necessary to confirm someone's age "

Are your over 18 Y/N (Lying is a criminal offence)

There you go a perfect tool that will confirm the user ages, and give a clear warning that if the lie then they could be arrested

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Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

Ochib

Fun and Ganes

Let's get loads of the beacons and stick them to random street furniture and even stick them to the cats eyes.

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Facebook suspends account of Cambridge Analytica whistleblower

Ochib

'If you are not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold

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Dolby sues Adobe for dodging license fees

Ochib

Gordons ALIVE !

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Screw everything! French swingers campsite up for sale, owners 'tired'

Ochib

Re: Nude Petanque

Just don't play Petanque with the BOFH

http://bofharchive.com/1998/bastard98-13.html

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Did somebody say Brexit? Cambridge Analytica grilled: Brit MPs' Fake News probe

Ochib

Re: This the same guy who moonlights as the one rogue software engineer at other organisations?

Chuck Finley is the alias of Sam Axe

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Game of Thrones showrunners to make Star Wars flicks

Ochib

Never tell me the odds

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TalkTalk to splash £1.5bn laying full fibre on 3 million doorsteps

Ochib

Good news you will be able to get upto 1gb

Bad news It will be throttled and subject to a fair use policy

Worse news you will need to use TalkTalk

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Ignore that FBI. We're the real FBI, says the FBI that's totally the FBI

Ochib

How long before your get the scammers sending an email warning that the warning email sent by the FBI, warning about the scammers, is a scam

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UK.gov pushes ahead with legal right to 10Mbps

Ochib

The conversation may go like this

“Can I legally demand faster internet”

“Yes, you can legally demand it"

"OK then I demand of you, faster internet. Now"

"Noted."

"So when am I getting my faster internet?"

"You're not."

"I'm not?"

"No sir."

"But you said I can legally demand it?"

“And you can"

"So I did?"

"Right you are sir"

"So where is it?"

"Well you see sir, we don't have to legally provide it."

"Well that's not a lot of use is it?"

"Absolutely not sir. Good day."

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Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the data centre temp's delightful

Ochib

It would have been higher than 11"

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Archive of 1.4 billion credentials in clear text found in dark web archive

Ochib

Ubiquitous XKCD

https://www.xkcd.com/936/

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Royal Bank of Scotland culls 1 in 4 branches, blames the interwebz

Ochib

Decimate is one in ten, not one in four as the word decimation is derived from Latin meaning "removal of a tenth"

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Chainmail tires re-invent the wheel to get future NASA rovers rolling

Ochib

Need get an account with The Astro-Afro-Antarctico-Amer-Asian Auto Association, or Septuple-A

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Car tax evasion has soared since paper discs scrapped

Ochib

Proper Tea is theft, that why Labour party staff drink P-Tips

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Ochib

"Erm... They don't pay road tax anyway!"

No one pays Road Tax, it's call VED

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10

How about that time Russian military used a video game pic as proof of US aiding ISIS?

Ochib

Re: Yeah, what about them?

Rule 29. The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.

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80-year-old cyclist killed in prang with Tesla Model S

Ochib

Re: RE: JetSetGim

Nope,

Cyclist made a sudden movement, either foot slipped of the peddle or moved to avoid a pothole, got run over by a bus that was behind the cyclist and the courts ruled that it was an unfortunate accident.

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Ochib

Re: RE: unwanted infantilism

As recorded by the ONS on the number of pedestrian deaths caused by bicycles are between 2-3 a year, however the number of pedestrian deaths caused by cars are around 400 a year

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Teensy weensy space shuttle flies and lands

Ochib

Re: The lifting body spaceplane lives on

Austin 3:16 says "I just rebuilt your body"

2
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Lord of the Rings TV show shopped around Hollywood

Ochib

Re: Scouring of the Shire

As someone who lives near to Sarehole Mill, and just down the road from Tolkien's family house, live no were near the "Black Country" I live in Birmingham and am not a Yam-Yam

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Ochib

Re: "when Sauron was mortal "

Collectively, the “Lord of the Rings” and “Hobbit” films have grossed close to $6 billion at the worldwide box office, however the deal with the Tolkien estate was for points on the net and the famous "Hollywood accounting" meant that the film has not made a profit. The Estate had to sue the production company for damages.

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Boss visited the night shift and found a car in the data centre

Ochib
Paris Hilton

The post is required, and must contain letters.

Having had to look a the CCTV footage (more than one). It appears that a spinning IBM 3380 disk unit has the same effect on a woman's anatomy as washing machine on a spin cycle.

29
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After seven-hour operation, the ISS has a new 'hand'

Ochib

Re: previous experience

And your name is Randy, so why did the old one wear out?

5
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FedEx: TNT NotPetya infection blew a $300m hole in our numbers

Ochib

Re: $300M!!

Sounds like a job for Barney Stinson as his last job title was P.L.E.A.S.E. (Provide Legal Exculpation and Sign Everything)

1
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Inept bloke who tried to sell military sat secrets to Russia gets 5 years

Ochib

Re Pled

Pled

[plɛd]

DEFINITION

North American, Scottish, or dialect past participle of plead.

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Uber Cali goes ballistic, calls online ads bogus: These million-dollar banners are something quite atrocious

Ochib

Nah it was the Liverpool Echo first reporting a 1970s Ian Callaghan masterclass against Queens Park Rangers thus: SUPER CALLY GOES BALLISTIC, QPR ATROCIOUS

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

Ochib

Millennium Hand and Shrimp!

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Ochib

re:Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

After his death, fellow fantasy author Neil Gaiman, Pratchett’s close friend and collaborator , told the Times that Pratchett had wanted “whatever he was working on at the time of his death to be taken out along with his computers, to be put in the middle of a road and for a steamroller to steamroll over them all”.

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British snoops at GCHQ knew FBI was going to arrest Marcus Hutchins

Ochib

Let that be a lesson to all black/white hatters. Don't go the the USA. If you want to speak do it via Skype (other video conferencing software is available, your mileage may vary and IANAL

119
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Trump as US president (in Sharknado 3)? Oh Hell No!

Ochib

I still think that the best TV appearance by the Trump is when he got a Stone Cold Stunner from Steve Austin. If you agree Give me a Hell Yeah !!

And that's the bottom line 'coz Stone Cold said so.

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'Invisible Man' malware runs keylogger on your Android banking apps

Ochib

This is why Flash should die a quick death

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FUKE NEWS: Robot snaps inside drowned Fukushima nuke plant

Ochib

Dr. Serizawa white courtesy phone, Dr Daisuke Serizawa, white courtesy phone. No, the white phone

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Microsoft hits new low: Threatens to axe classic Paint from Windows 10

Ochib

Patrick Hanes

"I suck at photoshop and have use MS Paint for 10 years" and publicished a Graphic Novel done all in MS Paint

So what MS are going to do is remove a package that anyone can use to express their artistic side.

https://digitalsynopsis.com/design/microsoft-paint-pat-hines-ebook-illustrations/

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

Ochib

Re: Has a customer ever apologised to you?

Cake - Does this affect an area of the brain called "Shatner's Bassoon", which alters the user's perception of time?

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UK.gov snaps on rubber gloves, prepares for mandatory porn checks

Ochib
Gimp

And registration of users etc went so well for users of Ashley Madison.

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PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet

Ochib
FAIL

Mouse not working on mousemat

Had a report form a site that all their mice had stopped working, Attended site after ordering a boot full of mice from stores. Checked the existing mice, no problems on the desk. However none of them worked on the mousemats. It turned out that they had replaced all the mouse mats with company branded mats, however the colour that they had choosen (red) ment that none of the mice worked

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Humanity uploaded an AI to Mars and lets it shoot rocks with lasers

Ochib

The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one - but still they come!

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US spook-sat buzzed the International Space Station

Ochib
Coat

Any one else had a flash back to Top Gun when you read the phrase "Danger Zone", or is it just me. I'll get my coat, it's the one with the Ray-Bans.

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Hotel guest goes broke after booking software gremlin makes her pay for strangers' rooms

Ochib

Re: "Sounds like a lawsuit"

It wasn't a credit card, it was a debt card. Debt cards will take the money straight out of your current account

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Boffins find evidence of strange uranium-producing bacteria lurking underground

Ochib

Re: I have personally transmuted palladium into silver

"magic flavour-removing spoon for coffee"

That has already be done by the likes of StarBucks etc

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Amazon granted patent to put parachutes inside shipping labels

Ochib
Headmaster

The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

11. Everything is air-droppable at least once

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BA IT systems failure: Uninterruptible Power Supply was interrupted

Ochib
Joke

Not as cheap as EasyJet.

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Gay Dutch vultures become dads

Ochib

Didn't Kees Moeliker, of Natuurhistorisch Museum Rotterdam in Rotterdam, the Netherlands, win an IG Nobel award for documenting the first scientifically recorded case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck.

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After reusing a rocket, SpaceX tries reusing Dragon capsule for ISS resupply

Ochib

Re: I can see where this is going

And the tabloid newspaper on the dashboard

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