* Posts by Ochib

121 posts • joined 22 Mar 2016

Page:

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

Ochib

Boot Floppys

When I was at College there were a number of Amstrad 1640s in the computer lab for general use. They stated that the HDD were locked down so you couldn't copy any information to the HDD.

However a quick boot from a FDD proved that the software was run in the config.sys file.

A quick FDSIK later and there is no C: drive

0
1

Pencil manufacturers rejoice: Oz government doesn't like e-voting

Ochib

Very hard to hack a pencil

The post is required, and must contain letters.

2
0

After all that! Ofcom proposes BT as only broadband universal services provider for whole of UK (except Hull)

Ochib
Trollface

The phone call to BT will go like this

Customer: Can I have 10Mbps internet

Bt: No

Customer: I have a legal right to demand a minimum broadband download speed of 10Mbps

Bt: Yes you have a legal right to demand a minimum broadband download speed of 10Mbps

Customer: Can I have 10Mbps internet

BT: No

Customer: But you said that I have a legal right to demand a minimum broadband download speed of 10Mbps

Bt: That's correct, you have legal a right to demand a minimum broadband download speed of 10Mbps, but we don't have an legal obligation to supply a minimum broadband download speed of 10Mbps

29
1

Microsoft: New icons, new drivers, AI! Everything is awesome!

Ochib

I see that you are writing a TODO list

It's the return of Clippy :) :) :)

2
0

Mystery sign-poster pities the fool who would litter the UK's West Midlands

Ochib

Even Dr Who used this in the episodes "The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances"

Are you my mummy?

2
1

Great Scott! Is nothing sacred? US movie-goers vote Back To The Future as most-wanted reboot

Ochib

About time for a Matrix Sequel

There is only Matrix film at the moment

17
1

Well that's just spliffing: UK Amazon merchants peddling Mary Jane

Ochib

Colonel Sandurz: Sir?

Dark Helmet: [about to use the bullhorn to the workers but uses it on Sandurz instead] What?

Colonel Sandurz: Are we being too literal?

Dark Helmet: [through the bullhorn] No, you fool, we're following orders. We were told to comb the desert, so we're combing it. [puts down bullhorn] Found anything yet?!

Soldier: Nothing yet, sir!

Dark Helmet: How about you?!

Soldier: Not a thing, sir!

[camera pans to two soldiers using an Afro Pick.]

Dark Helmet: What about you guys?!

Black soldier: We ain't found shit!

2
0

Sorry, but NASA says Mars signal wasn't Opportunity knocking

Ochib

Non Relevent XKCD

https://xkcd.com/1504/

15
1

Douglas Adams was right, ish... Super-Earth world clocked orbiting 'nearby' Barnard's Star

Ochib

Re: As for ion drive, where do you propose to get the energy from?

"Periapsis burns are standard practice for capture. Cassini and Galileo both depended on planetary gravity to help their captures."

Shhhhh don't tell NASA, the last time they tried this on MARS they got their Freedom Units mixed up and hit the planet hard

2
0

BT: We're stocking warehouses with kit ahead of Brexit to avoid shortages

Ochib

Re: A timely reminder...

"You do realise Scotland is part of the UK? For now at least."

But Ireland isn't

7
2

Budget 2018: UK goes it alone on digital sales tax for tech giants

Ochib

Re: A tiny step in the right direction

A contract must be awarded on the basis of either:

Lowest price: The lowest priced tender wins. No other element of the tender may be taken into account; or

The most economically advantageous tender (MEAT): Factors other than or in addition to price, like quality, technical merit and running costs can be taken into account.

If MEAT is used:

the contract award criteria (e.g. "price, quality of services, risk to contracting authority etc.") and any sub-criteria must be set out either in the OJEU notice or the tender documents; and

the weighting of each criterion (and sub-criterion, if weighted) must also normally be given, either as an exact number or as a meaningful range (e.g. 'price: 30%-40%'.).

Public procurement law: the basics (https://www.out-law.com/page-5964)

2
0

It's big, it's blue, and it'll be raining down on you – it's 3200 Phaethon

Ochib

The closest passage will be in December 14, 2093, when it will pass 0.01981 AU (2,964,000 km; 1,841,000 mi) from Earth. On December 16, 2017, at 23:00 UT, Phaethon passed 0.06893173 AU (10,312,040 km; 6,407,605 mi) from Earth,

13
0

Morrisons supermarket: We're taking payroll leak liability fight to UK Supreme Court

Ochib

"MGM suing the victims of the mass shooting in Las Vegas."

MGM is not suing for money, but the company wants a federal court to rule that it cannot be held liable for the shooting by more than 1,000 victims and others it named in the suits. The company said it named only people that have already sued or given notice that they intend to do so.

It is based on a federal law passed after the Sept. 11 terror attacks, which is known as the Support Antiterrorism by Fostering Effective Technologies, or Safety, Act.

The law is intended to shield federally certified manufacturers of security equipment and providers of security services from liability should they fail to prevent a terrorist attack, which the law defines as an unlawful act that causes mass destruction to citizens or institutions of the United States.

MGM contends that under the law, which Congress passed in 2002, it is immunized from liability because it met two conditions: A security company that was hired for the concert had a certification from the Department of Homeland Security, and the shooting qualified, in the company’s view, as an “act of terrorism.”

4
0

SQLite creator crucified after code of conduct warns devs to love God, and not kill, commit adultery, steal, curse...

Ochib

Re: Beer!

Not Beer or Brandy but Wreck the Hoose Juice/Commotion Lotion/Buckie is the best thing to come from the Benedictine monks.

10
0

UK space comes to an 'understanding' with Australia as Brexit looms

Ochib
Devil

ASA

What has the Averting Sandards Agency got to with this?

1
0

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

Ochib

Re: Just Echo Dots?

"three Echo Dots" … do they work in the same way as the three seashells?

3
0

Ooof! Cisco Webex has been down for 7 hours – and counting

Ochib

This is great

Now we can take a leaf out of the BOFH's handbook and blame some-else for the issue

2
0

Brexit campaigner AggregateIQ challenges UK's first GDPR notice

Ochib

Re: retroactive lawmaking at it's finest.

There is, however the company were given notice that the law was changing and that to compile with the new law they would need to change how they processed data. They didn't change and thus were charged with breaching the new law

It's is bit like the speed limits on a road changing from 30 mph to 20 mph, you would have seen the new signs going up and if you still drive at 30 mph you will be taken to court.

8
0

Oh Smeg! Hacked white goods maker resurfaces after system shutdown

Ochib

the only trouble, is that you need to eat it before the bread dissolves

9
0
Ochib

What, Captain Hollister and what about Todhunter and Selby?

15
1

Revealed: The billionaire baron who’ll ride Elon’s thrusting erection to the Moon and back

Ochib

Re: A better passenger...

However "Mad" Mike Hughes would claim that it was the drugs that made him see that the earth was round. And the SpaceX put these drugs in the air supply

4
0

Leeds hospital launches campaign to 'axe the fax'

Ochib

The Electronic Signatures Directive (99/93/EC)

An electronic signature must be:

•uniquely linked to the signatory;

•capable of identifying the signatory;

•created using means that the signatory can maintain under his sole control;

•linked to the data in such a manner that any subsequent change of the data is detectable.

The most common methods of achieving this are to use cryptography (symmetric or asymmetric) technology .

So you will need a encryption system that all the parties agree to and can use. Or you use a fax

9
2
Ochib

So have the NHS found another way of sending signed documents, with a method of proving that they have been send and received, to any number of third parties

5
2

You'll never guess what you can do once you steal a laptop, reflash the BIOS, and reboot it

Ochib

Re: Again,

"I, personally, always shut down the PC when not in use. Yes it is a bit of a pain having to wait for the PC to boot"

Every morning it runs like this;

1) Power Laptop up

2) Get coffee

3) Drink coffee

4) After stage 2 and 3 the laptop is ready for me to logon

11
1

UK.gov finally adds Galileo and Copernicus to the Brexit divorce bill

Ochib
Trollface

Who would have thought that Brexit was so complicated

15
3

World's oldest URL – fragments 73,000 years old – discovered in cave

Ochib

It clearly says "Send Nudes"

3
1

'World's favorite airline' favorite among hackers: British Airways site, app hacked for two weeks

Ochib

Re: Missing from the press release -- CVV status

According to the Radio 4 interview, the following information was stolen

1) Credit Card number

2) Expiration date

3) CVV number

4) Name

5) DOB

And he wanted to tell how the information was stolen, but it was very complicated (subtext it was in a report he read, but it wasn’t written in a language he understood)

7
0

Defense Distributed starts selling gun CAD files amid court drama

Ochib

$2 space into an AK

Who needs fancy CNC or a 3D printer when you can turn a spade in to an AK

https://www.northeastshooters.com/xen/threads/diy-shovel-ak-photo-tsunami-warning.179192/

4
0

Muslim American woman sues US border cops: Gimme back my seized iPhone's data!

Ochib

GDPR

If I have client information on my phone, and it gets seized at the airport and copied. Whould that mean that I have breach the GDPR and then liable for a fine?

3
0

Tax the tech giants and ISPs until the bits squeak – Corbyn

Ochib

Re: Boo Hoo

During her time as Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher openly called a terrorist a "true friend", invited a terrorist into her home for tea, and personally lobbied against a terrorist's prosecution for war crimes.

Thatcher's support for Chile's former torturer-in-chief General Pinochet is no secret; it was something she was proud of. Despite her assertion that “The United States and Britain have together been the greatest alliance in defence of liberty and justice,” Thatcher refused to back down in her support of a man who overthrew a democratically elected government. This was a man who initiated the notorious Caravan of Death, the army unit that travelled the country by helicopter, murdering and torturing the General's opponents.

52
4

Somerset boozer prepares to declare its inn-dependence from UK

Ochib
Joke

"I trust the national anthem will be "Ale to the Chief"."

And the only rule will be "Pint for the fella... Glass of white wine/ fruit-based drink for the lady!"

'Cos if there were no rules where would we be? France! And if we had too many rules where would we be? Germany!

15
0

London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

Ochib

So why was there no redundancy in the internet link?

103
1

EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

Ochib

Re: To later

"Let's have a British USB specification, which does what WE want, no matter that it doesn't match the rest of the world"

I thought that was the purpose of the vote to rid ourselves of our EU overlords, so we could go it alone and get £750m for the NHS per week

26
20
Ochib

Obilitory XKCD

https://xkcd.com/927/

15
2
Ochib

To later

What does this matter to the UK, as of March 2019 we can tell the EU to go whistle

7
58

Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Ochib

Beware the Lawyers

Games Workshop Lawyers are on standby with the Cease and desist letters as they own the copywrite to the phrase "Space Marine"

13
0

Need a facial recognition auto-doxxx tool? Social Mapper has you covered

Ochib

Re: matching a photo of your face to the selfies you used on each of the account pages

"What photos? What social media accounts? Good luck with that..."

Well there is this one for starters

11
0

The internet's very own Muslim ban continues: DNS overlord insists it can freeze dot-words

Ochib

Re: "broke"?

"since when is "broke" a word that can be used in the context that you used it in? "broken" is the word you were looking for."

Broke is used by those who are truly woke

7
2

BBC websites down tools and head outside into the sun for a while

Ochib

Re: Scary (kids today!)

"and for those of you who are watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green."[

6
0

All that dust on Mars is coming from one weird giant alien structure

Ochib

"I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere"

12
0

Shouting lager, lager... Carlsberg's beer AI can now tell pilsners apart

Ochib

Re: The real test

"Horse Piss probably has more taste." and is normally warm

0
0

Azure certifications are awful, Microsoft admits, so it has made new ones

Ochib

The issue is that the HR Droids use the lack of Certs to remove CVs from the pile before passing the list on to IT

11
0

Ticketmaster breach 'part of massive bank card slurping campaign'

Ochib

Just waiting for the punters who have been hit by this to be past back on forth between the bank and Ticketmaster each saying that you need to get your money back from the other party as they are not to blame

6
1

I see a satellite of a man ... Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, Galileo, that's now 4 sats fit to go

Ochib

Re: Receiving the signal

Navstar s the name of the American system, not GPS. GLONASS, Navstar and Galileo are all types of GPS.

4
3

Blood spilled from another US high school shooting has yet to dry – and video games are already being blamed

Ochib

Re: Early information

"assault rifles " are banned. However there is no such weapon

0
1
Ochib

"I thought all firearms (except licensed shotguns for farmers, hunters and gamekeepers) were banned in the UK? Didn't the Hungerford shooter use an AK47?"

Rifles are also permitted. Not military or semi auto though."

You can shoot an AR-15 in the UK, however it needs to be converted to bolt-action. The University of Texas tower shooting ( 16 people (including one unborn child) dead and 31 injured) was with a bolt action riffle.

2
0
Ochib

Re: Early information

"Regulate ammunition supplies.

For personal protection,. you don't need more than one reload. If it takes more than that you've lost."

If I go to the gun range to shoot, I will be shooting more than one reload, On average you would use 100-200 rounds for practice 1-2 times a week. Where would I store the rounds?

1
6

Tech support made the news after bomb squad and police showed up to 'defuse' leaky UPS

Ochib

Relevent XKCD

https://www.xkcd.com/651/

5
0

Blighty's super-duper F-35B fighter jets are due to arrive in a few weeks

Ochib

Re: why didnt they..

Because you would have needed a 22,000 lb,bomb rather than a 9,250 pound bomb as water has a much higher density than air, which makes water harder to move (higher inertia). It is also relatively hard to compress (increase density) when under pressure. These two together make water an excellent conductor of shock waves from an explosion.

13
0

Bloodhound Super-Sonic Car aims to wake up Newquay: Rocket work restart in August

Ochib

Aussie Invader sounds like something Anne Summers would sell.

6
0

Page:

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018