* Posts by Chemical Bob

562 posts • joined 16 Mar 2016

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Ubuntu wants to slurp PCs' vital statistics – even location – with new desktop installs

Chemical Bob
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Re: Actually read the article?

"Yes, it should be opt-in not -out, but apart from that: why all the fuss?"

1. Because not asking nicely is arrogant.

2. If we start allowing this kind of thing, it'll only get worse. Best to shoot it in the face now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDNmyyrEZho

I'm going to finish painting my Lord of the Rings figurines now...

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FCC inspector general sticks corruption probe into chairman Ajit Pai amid $4bn media merger

Chemical Bob
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Re: Clearly a new definition of "Drain the swamp"

Looks more like "Swamp the drain"...

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HomePod, you say? Sex sex sex, that's all you think about

Chemical Bob
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Dabbsy, how could you forget

the IBM mouse balls memo?!

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Chemical Bob
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Coat

Re: Oh those silicone implants...

I felt it, feels like silicone...

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Sorry, Elon, your Tesla roadster won't orbit for billions of years

Chemical Bob
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Re: 1 Billion or 1 Million, seriously who bloody cares?

"I fully intend to live forever."

Let me know how that works for you.

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Iran: We have defeated evil nuclear-sensing Western lizards!

Chemical Bob
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Re: Bah!

Captain Orangutan

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South China waters are red, Brit warships are blue, HMS Sutherland's sailing there

Chemical Bob
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Re: More to the point

They obey international law as well as the USA does.

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We already give up our privacy to use phones, why not with cars too?

Chemical Bob
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Re: 'Lisa Joy Rosner - *** Chief marketing officer ***'

Time to buy an old Sears Motorcycle.

https://auto.howstuffworks.com/sears-sell-motorcycles.htm

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Software solves anything!

It would be simpler to just mount the rheostat on the intake manifold - no carburetor or radio necessary.

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Finance figures are a bit scary

"I'm not sure for which kind of women, and whether you want them to be attracted to you."

Well, at my age....

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FCC commish gobbles Verizon's phone-locking BS, says it tastes great

Chemical Bob
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FAIL

Verizon is already an undesirable phone company due to their high rates

If they insist on locking the phones for some unknown length of time, that will only make Verizon exponentially undesirable to consumers.

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Jack in black: 12 years on, Twitter finally makes a profit from its firehose of memes and misery

Chemical Bob
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Re: Jan 20 2025

You're a pessimmist.

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Secret weekend office bonk came within inch of killing sysadmin

Chemical Bob
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Facepalm

The Story of Eustace

Once upon a time, a long time ago, at a small company I used to work for, was a lad named Eustace. Eustace's parents were druggies so he grew up without a moral compass, good role models or a clue. One day his step-mother, taking pity on him, prevailed upon the owner to hire him so he could establish the beginning of a work history, see how normal people behave and maybe get a leg up in life.

Eustace proved quite pedestrian at his work - light industrial and janitorial duties and kept asking me if I wanted him to clean out my office (my "office" was the only room on premises that had a door that could be locked for it was both the R&D lab and server room).I kept telling him not to bother for clutter is my particular idiom.

One Monday the owner told me I might want a new desk chair and that Eustace was fired over the weekend. He then told me how these two things were related.

On Saturday Eustace made himself useful and cleaned up what passed for my office. A bit later the owner showed up and immediately noticed 2 things:

1. His boombox was missing

2. Soft music was playing in the R&D/server room.

Of course, he investigated.

What he discovered in the de-cluttered room was not just soft music playing but cardboard had been taped over the window and candles were burning on the workbench, apparently to set a romantic(?) mood as Eustace about to engage in coitus with his girlfriend on my desk chair. Now I must point out that this was not the girlfriend he was living with and made a baby with and who was going to school so the three of them could have a decent life together. This was his *other* girlfriend, the hot one.

I laughed my ass off upon hearing this. And then, figuring that Eustace lacked both the presence of mind and decency to put at least a sheet of newspaper on the chair, I dragged it around the back of the building to let mold and fungus clean out whatever might be soiling it.

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I see you're writing a résumé?!.. LinkedIn parked in MS Word

Chemical Bob
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Headmaster

"That is, if they ever get the resume written for being interrupted with ads for jobs in arsehole, Idaho or Anus, New Delhi."

Actually its Asshole, Idaho. Arsehole isn't a word here.

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Chemical Bob
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Windows

Re: I'd actually like it if

Yep, they sure have figured out how to fuck up a typewriter...

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Basket case lawsuit: Fancy fruit florists flail Google over rotten ads, demand $200m damages

Chemical Bob
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Trollface

"How in the hell did Edible Arrangements get a trademark for a description of their product?"

By applying for it.

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A tiny Ohio village turned itself into a $3m speed-cam trap. Now it has to pay back the fines

Chemical Bob
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Unhappy

Re: Try not speeding. Total fine $0

...sorry

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Chemical Bob
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FAIL

Re: Try not speeding. Total fine $0

"Of course the radar company claimed the radars were "always right". But when tested on that street, the radar just happened to double the speed of some larger vehicles like delivery trucks and school buses. Excuse was, "must not have been correctly calibrated"."

Yep. Kieren does not seem to understand that allowing the speed camera manufacturer to get a percentage of the revenue is a bit like having the fire department work on commission.

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No Windows 10, no Office 2019, says Microsoft

Chemical Bob
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Re: What's a

"Bombasic Bob?"

Microsoft Bob after drinking mop water.

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Chemical Bob
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Boffin

Re: Regarding the poll

"We both do and don't need a Schrodinger's cat icon."

We both do and don't have a Schrodinger's cat icon.

Problem solved! :)

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Chemical Bob
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If you're trying to suffer properly, replace Battlefield Earth with Mormon pornography.

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Chemical Bob
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Facepalm

Re: I rather suspect ...

"We don't want almost dead ground squirrels in the pantry again ..."

Then don't grind 'em alive!

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Wazzock!

Actually, the gravy isn't a bad idea as long as it's my wife's homemade sausage gravy. Chug about a quart before eating and another quart after eating the thing in order to coat the stomach and to provide a pleasant final taste sensation when done.

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Windows Defender will strap pushy scareware to its ass-kicker machine

Chemical Bob
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Facepalm

Re: An unknown error has occurred.

I did not know that!

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Fujifilm, Xerox throw each other a US$6.1 billion lifeline

Chemical Bob
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Re: The venture needs a snappier name

"Xerjifilm" Wouldn't want to use it in a sentence, though...

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Billionaire bros Bezos, Buffett become bonkers bio brokers: Swap W in AWS for H for healthcare

Chemical Bob
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Unhappy

Re: Health care or health insurance?

"They are connected at the hip."

Not really. Health care is when a medical professional is working on your behalf, health insurance is that little runt in "The Incredibles" screaming "What about the shareholders?!"...

And don't think Bezos is being benevolent. His goal is to lower the cost of health insurance. This can be achieved by making it completely useless.

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Kremlin social media trolls aren't actually that influential, study finds

Chemical Bob
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FAIL

Re: Electoral College

"a choice between the devil and the deep blue sea"

Yep. A larger number of the voting public (roughly 90 million) chose "none of the above" by staying home on election day, which is a larger amount than either candidate got. If we add the none of the above votes and Clinton votes together, this means a majority of the voting public does not want Donald Trump as President. And if we add the none of the above votes and Trump votes, this means a majority of the voting public does not want Hillary Clinton to be President.

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Electoral College

"wasn't the popular vote won by one candidate and the Electoral College vote won by the other?"

Irrelevant question. The Electoral College has been around for quite a while and is, therefore, no surprise. All candidates who are serious about winning tune their campaign strategies to winning the Electoral vote, not the popular vote. In other words, if we had no Electoral College in the last election, the Trump and Clinton campaigns would have operated in accordance with that reality and we would very likely still have got the same surreal result.

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The Zuck promises to give you more local news – and so save the world

Chemical Bob
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Re: Fake local news? No thanks

No, No, No! Everbuddy nose local nooz is bedden'n' that stuff frum th' Big Sitty 'cause the local stuff ain't got all them perversitives in it!

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Well, now Nuro: Former Waymo devs reveal cute self-driving van tech

Chemical Bob
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Coat

Re: R-1?

R-talk-like-a-pirate is best...

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Ubuntu reverting to Xorg in Bionic Beaver

Chemical Bob
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Trollface

Re: Mr Yutani would like a word

Yutani is a proto Indo-European word that translates roughly as "Sis Demdee". Really. You can't just make shit like this up...

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Timeout everyone. Y'all know that Musk's $500 'flamethrower' is literally a Boring blowtorch?

Chemical Bob
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Happy

Re: Very disappointed..

"Now, why a real proper flamethrower is not a restricted weapon in the land of the "free" is really in the realm of crazy."

Nope, makes perfect sense. A real, proper flamethrower is still a short range weapon so no problem.

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Google slaps mute button on stupid ads that nag you to buy stuff you just looked at

Chemical Bob
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Devil

Re: Nice PR

"I don't think I've ever seen a doll with an area labeled "massive invasion of personal privacy on a global scale". Can I buy one online? Is there a pr0n version?"

Google goatse....

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If you've ever wondered whether the FCC boss is a Big Cable stooge – well, wonder no more

Chemical Bob
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Unhappy

Re: The previous FCC chair was expected to be a cable stooge

"Too bad Trump was all bluster when he said he was going to drain the swamp."

No bluster at all, just misdirection. He's draining the swamp of government regulation that is preventing businesses from doing whatever they want.

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Can we lobby AT&T ...

Perhaps we should lobby AT&T to lower him...

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Biggest Washington DC lobbyist is now a tech giant (yes, it's Google)

Chemical Bob
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Re: Reads the title.

More like tech lardass

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NASA is sniffing jet fuel over Germany

Chemical Bob
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Boffin

Re: Market distortion

"Sure I'd be able to drive to work in the summer but not in the winter months."

Then you get to stay inside where its warm...

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President Trump turns out the lights on solar panel imports into US

Chemical Bob
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Re: Tariffs on government subsidized chinese panels being dumped here

Probably road tar...

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Job ad for designer proves its point with MS Paint shocker

Chemical Bob
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Unhappy

Re: Polygraph Examiner

"What other pseudo-science do they use there? Graphology? Lay Lines? Crystals? Dowsers? Tea-leave readers? Trump?"

Unfortunately, Trump is very real. He is our Godzilla.

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User had no webcam or mic, complained vid conference didn’t work

Chemical Bob
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Facepalm

Back when fax modems were A Thing...

...got a support call asking if the fax modem needed to have a phone cord plugged in.

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Flying on its own, Thunderbird seeks input on new look

Chemical Bob
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Re: "modern GMail UI"???

"I've found the Gmail interface increasingly frustrating"

Not just the UI, all of Gmail is getting increasingly frustrating. They seem to be missing the main thing about webmail - that you can use it anywhere and end up having a double conniption fit if you try to sign on from somewhere *unusual* like hotel wi-fi.

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Another round of click-fraud extensions pulled from Chrome Store

Chemical Bob
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Coat

Re: Store benefits

Exactly - their corporate culture is evil and greedy...

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Ford giving 'leccy car investment a jolt to the tune of $11 BEEELLION

Chemical Bob
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Re: If you build them...

>do you have to replace the car when the battery deteriorates as most people have to do with their smart-phones?

No replaceable batteries - these things will have to be *waterproof*, you know...

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Remember those holy tech wars we used to have? Heh, good times

Chemical Bob
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Someday...

...my grandchildren will ask "Grampa, did you *really* fight in the OS/2 wars on Fidonet?"

On second thought, nah, that's stupid...

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PC lab in remote leper colony had wrong cables, no licences, and not much hope

Chemical Bob
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Re: Real Software

But will DOS even boot on modern hardware?

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BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

Chemical Bob
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Our marketing department can't count its buttocks either. Probably has something to do with the six drink minimum...

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Chemical Bob
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Re: Walls

"Do say yes, I've got an out of date fire extinguisher I'd like to test"

Yes.

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1 in 5 STEM bros whinge they can't catch a break in tech world they run

Chemical Bob
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Re: And don't call me surly.

Ill-tempered, perhaps?

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Apple, quit milking tech-addicted fruit of our loins – shareholders

Chemical Bob
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Re: perhaps concerned parents could, oh, we dunno, try a little parenting?

Sorry, AC, gramps is right. Proper parenting does result in kids who have no interest in the latest shiny-shiny or facebook or whatever the latest nonsense may be. How do I know? My wife and I have done it.

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