* Posts by Chemical Bob

614 posts • joined 16 Mar 2016

Page:

A Reg-reading techie, a high street bank, some iffy production code – and a financial crash

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: The reader, who requested anonymity and so shall be called Bob

Or me.

2
0

The Register Opera Company presents: The Pirates of Penzance, Sysadmin edition

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: Ooh, tempting

Mary had a little lamb

Her appetites were funny

We never, ever did find out

Where she stuffed the bunny

9
0

Uber self-driving car death riddle: Was LIDAR blind spot to blame?

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Headmaster

Re: "...a [Lidar] blind spot low to the ground all around the car."

"Why that never resulted in the car breaking is the actual million dollar question."

Actually, I think the car could be described as broken after the accident...

2
0

User fired IT support company for a 'typo' that was actually a real word

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Re: My Vet does Llamas ...

My vet did a llama once. Then he suddenly had to move to Belize...

3
0

Try our new driverless car software says Nvidia, as it suspends driverless car trials

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: "Ultimately..."

Maybe you should go on a diet.

4
1

What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Terminator

Re: Linux Torvalds

Its Linus' *robot* brother...

6
0

Mac fans' eyes mist over: Someone's re-created HyperCard

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Coat

And the automotive version will be called...

Vindshield Vipercard!

Mine's the one with the squeegee in the pocket.

0
0

UK.gov: Here's £8.8m to plough into hydrogen-powered car tech

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Boffin

Re: ' Current industrial production of hydrogen gas'

"Are there any unbiased, layman-friendly explanations of the challenges kicking around?"

No matter how ya 'splain it, its still a shit idea.

1
2

Adobe: New Unified Customer Profile will personalise ads as never before

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: “Consumers prefer a personalised experience”

"These people are so full of contempt about people..."

No, they're worse than that. They are too stupid to realize that people are not "consumers" and that consumers are mythical.

So when I walk into that restaurant where the wait-staff person remembers what I like to drink and brings it over right away, that isn't a "personalized" experience, its a *human* experience.

11
0

NASA fungus problem puts theory of 'Martian mushrooms' on toast

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Alien

Re: I blame Donald Trump!

You've got it backwards - Trump is the result of Space 'Shrooms

3
0

BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: cellphone, mobile, handy

>They'll get (more) insufferably unbearable

>Is that even possible?

Do you really want to know?

2
0
Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Coat

Re: cellphone?

They're used in jails.

Mine's the one with a carphone in the pocket...

10
0

Probe: How IBM ousts older staff, replaces them with young blood

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: The case, Dr Freud, is clear.

"whatever HP even is"

Half Pint (?)

2
0

Prez Trump's $60bn China tariff plan to hit tech, communications, aerospace industries

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: It's almost too late

Outsourcing isn't the problem, offshoring is the problem. Most businesses exist because of outsourcing, its just paying someone else to do work you don't want to do or are unable to do. Like having an accountant do your taxes or having a mechanic fix your car or buying butter (or pacemakers) instead of making your own. Offshoring is having this work done in India.

6
0

User asked why CTRL-ALT-DEL restarted PC instead of opening apps

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: Feeling Old...

"I'm getting the impression that the whole development of personal computing was driven by the desire to play games?"

Not entirely. Shortly after sound cards and CD drives arrived there was a tremendous explosion of low-res porno. Had to be low-res because high end video cards back then only had 1 or 2 megabytes of RAM and most monitors were only 14".

2
0

Surprise UK raid of Cambridge Analytica delayed: Nobody expects the British information commissioner!

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Black Helicopters

"Anyone would think that the establishment are trying to give CA enough of a chance to clean their house before they have a snoop around."

Careful, that's a dangerous path you're starting down - implying that the establishment is/are/wuz competent...

3
0

The Register Lecture: How to build your own tractor beam

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: Oi never seen no tractor beam

Next time lube the rear end first...

0
0

US mulls drafting gray-haired hackers during times of crisis

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Mushroom

They can go fuck off

Had to go through all that selective service crap decades ago. Now that I'm just a few years from retirement, they can bite my shiny metal kneecaps!

13
1

Uber breaks self-driving car record: First robo-ride to kill a pedestrian

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: Clear cut...

"in most countries, motor is required to give way to non-motor which is required to give way to animal or foot traffic - and using vehicle size to intimidate is a serious criminal offence"

You should see the People's Republic of China. The only country I've been to where drivers, pedestrians and bicyclists have absolutely zero regard for others, the laws of the road and the laws of physics. Especially the laws of physics.

2
0

Anyone fancy testing the 'unlimited' drive writes claim on Nimbus Data's 100TB whopper SSD?

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Do I want to test a 100TiB drive?

"How many hours of "adult content" do you have if you want one of these?"

All of it...

3
0

Airbus CIO: We dumped Microsoft Office not over cost but because Google G Suite looks sweet

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Windows

"Actually they tend to be real power users - highly skilled people that matter."

Ah, yes, people who only know where the buttons are in one particular office suite...

1
1

Boeing ships its 10,000th 737

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: A milestone, surely

I hear it works well...

7
0

Samba settings SNAFU lets any user change admin passwords

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Windows

"I imagine that there are lots of Linux fans deeply offended at the suggestion that Samba isn't suitable for use as an AD domain controller."

Why would we be offended? It's not like Samba is less suitable than Windows...

0
0

Poop to save planet as boffins devise bullsh*t way of extracting gas

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: The electricity part is kinda new

"What this process does differently is use hydrogen..."

Where does the hydrogen come from? And how much does it cost to separate the hydrogen from whatever it is attached to?

5
0

Android P will hear no evil, see no evil, support evil notches

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: Pocky

Pickled Turkey Gizzard!

And, yes, they are meat candy.

2
0

Microsoft says 'majority' of Windows 10 use will be 'streamlined S mode'

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Windows

Can someone pleas explain to me...

... what this Windows 10 'Ass Mode' is?

3
0

Windows 10 S to become a 'mode', not a discrete product

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Windows

Re: @wallaby FFS = For Free Software?

Frustration Free Station. It's where you get on the FOSS train...

6
0

For all we know, aliens could be as careless with space junk as us

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Alien

Re: Assumption detected

Civilized aliens would keep their junk in their trunks...

1
0

Will the defendant please rise? Utah State Bar hunts for sender of topless email

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: Terribly American

Once the coverup is complete, they will change their name to the Utah State Bra association...

42
0

Does Parliament or Google decide when your criminal past is forgotten?

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: "socially valuable" and "IT professional"

My gast is well and truly flabbered to see those two things used together in the same sentence!

1
0

Fresh docs detail 10-year link between Geek Squad informers and Feds

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: Lesson

After they screwed up their stores with the whole 'store within a store' concept, it's very easy not doing business with them as I can't find a damn thing in their stores anymore.

3
0

Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: Overextended is not "extra success"

"I don't call it successful when you leave it up there until you lose control and are unable to do a controlled de-orbit."

Stop assuming they didn't want to lose control of it....

2
0

New algorithm could help self-driving cars scout out hidden objects

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Thumb Up

Re: New algorithm could help self-driving cars scout out hidden objects

Remember Officer Bob Speed in the letters to the editor section? Apparently he was for real.

1
0
Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: New algorithm could help self-driving cars scout out hidden objects

Car and Driver magazine figured out a simpler way back in the 1980's. If you have a strong enough infrared lamp pointing straight ahead on the front of your car, it will swamp the police laser radar unit. The downside was that you had this huge, ugly, unaerodynamic lamp apparatus on the front of your car so the cops would know something was up.

2
0

Apple's new 'spaceship' HQ brings the pane for unobservant workers

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Devil

Re: MS didn't run into any doors

Tell All The People

on the

Ship Of Fools

that

Strange Days

are ahead because

People Are Strange

4
0

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: who would play BOFH and PFY?

No, no, no, no, no - the Boss is always played by Stephen Fry. Every time the Boss is killed off, his replacement is identical. Sort of like South Park in which Kenny gets killed in every episode.

4
0
Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

Re: who would play BOFH and PFY?

BOFH: Richard Grant

PFY: Bruce Langley (plays Technical Boy on 'American Gods')

Boss: Stephen Fry

6
0

Wearables are now a two-horse race and Google lost very badly

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Thumb Down

"The failure of the wearables segment reflects badly on an industry that flings technology it thinks is cool at the market that nobody actually wants."

No, the failure of the wearables segment indicates that it needs to be beaten to death with it's own shoes.

1
0

Boring. The phone business has lost the plot and Google is making it worse

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Go

The Boring Phone form the Boring Company

But it'll have a cool sticker!

3
0

Full shift to electric vans would melt Royal Mail's London hub, MPs told

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: Hmmm

"an Arduino makes a very poor multistable vibrator"

A multistable vibrator? I believe those are called dildos...

0
0

NSA boss: Trump won't pull trigger for Russia election hack retaliation

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge

"If they are that good maybe we should vote for them!"

Maybe we already have...

0
0

Star Paws: Attack of the clones

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Facepalm

Re: Potential for a scam.

What? You *actually* think they cloned a dog? Just because they said so?

0
0

Sony Xperia XZ2: High-res audio but no headphone jack

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Trollface

Re: What's gone wrong ? IT'S BIGGER !

"We used to mock unusably-large phones."

Whaddaya mean "unusably-large"?

http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/pictures/20000/velka/old-phone.jpg

1
0

Billionaire's Babylon beach ban battle barrels toward Supreme Court

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
FAIL

If the coastal act would "throw private property rights in California into disarray", you'd think it would already have happened as the act been around for 42 years.

0
0

Does my boom look big in this? New universe measurements bewilder boffins

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Trollface

the universe is expanding a little bit faster than expected

Bedder getta ice pack on dat t'ing or yule never get da swellin' unner control!

1
0

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Unhappy

Re: @EastFinchleyite -= Its powered by magic fairies and gnomes

When we ran out of virgins

18
0

IT peeps, be warned: You'll soon be a museum exhibit

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Boffin

Re: I thought 20W50 only existed to pour into cars with knackered seals

No, that's 50 weight.

0
0

Here's how we made a no-fuss RSS vulture app using trendy Electron

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Headmaster

Re: 'moot', not 'mute'

Maybe the OP didn't want to waste any more time talking about it...

2
1

A dog DNA database? You must be barking

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
Coat

They're barking up the wrong B-tree...

9
0

Bosch and Daimler jump in together on driverless vehicle tech

Chemical Bob
Bronze badge
FAIL

Re: "No single company can build the Internet of Things itself"

But he's right - The Internet of Things is such an Incredibly Vast Multishambles that partnership *is* a key part.

0
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018