* Posts by FuzzyWuzzys

416 posts • joined 11 Feb 2016

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How is 55 Cancri e like a Sisters of Mercy gig? Astroboffins: It has atmosphere

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: I have been to a Sisters of Mercy gig...

Is that dopey sod Andrew still sulking about his mate Wayne buggering him and his band name about?

Might account for why 2006's gig was so awful, a contractual thing so Andy can stay out of court!

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UK.gov 'could easily' flog 6m driver records to private firms this year

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: Private car parks versus councils and police, etc

True'ish....

No one but the government can "fine" you, no one. What these are are "bills for services". A private parking company owns some land, you park on it and they charge you a fee and for that they bill you. You pay the bill at the start or the end of the stay. It's a bill, nothing more. If you don't pay, it not a fine, it's a demand for payment for a service you used but didn't pay for. Same as your gas or electric, if you use it and don't pay they too will take you to court and demand payment.

However, like most people I still think they're all money grabbing, weasly scumbags that should be strung up but hey, they're still nothing more than private companies with a service to sell.

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FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: Disgusting

"First you get the data. Then you get the power. And then you get the money!"

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Royal Bank of Scotland website goes TITSUP*

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: RBS?

You see the morons at the top see that "Oh the company is losing money, eh? Better scale back operations. Start making people redundant and offshore all the IT."

They never make the connection that the company is shite, so people leave, thus taking their business, the bank/company starts losing profit, they scale back to cut costs and the whole cycle begins again....

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Car tax evasion has soared since paper discs scrapped

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: No car tax?

"Thats where the tax disc was brilliant as it was a visual reminder. Now we don't have it."

Well we all have smartphones, PCs, laptops, online services, pen and paper, calendars, there's an Office World in most towns, there's not real reason to not put a quick reminder in your phone to nag you in 6 or 12 months time to pay such-and-such.

Here's a Blue Peter idea!

The tax disc doesn't exist, so print your own and stick in your car to remind you. There must be plenty of stock photos of them online, slap it into Word or whatever, put the next due date in and print your own handy reminder!

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Amazon Key door-entry flaw: No easy fix to stop rogue couriers burgling your place unseen

FuzzyWuzzys
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"The idea is that letting the driver in your house (under strict observation!) is less risky than leaving the goods on the stoop all day."

If you deliver a parcel and I'm not there to accept it, then it's still your responsibility. If you have no proof I accepted it, then tough, you made the decision to step on my property and leave an item there, it's your fault if it gets stolen.

I may moan about the local Post Office and their daft 24 hour collection rule but I'd rather they took the parcel into their safe keeping as they usually do than leave it laying about like some of these crap couriers do. I once ordered a sweatsheet for my daughter, it never arrived. The courier said they'd dropped it off and it had been signed for. 2 days to get a copy of the signature and it was nothing like my wife's or mine. 3 days later the parcel was found 4 doors up in the neighbour's recycling bin!!! A round of applause for Yodel, the world's worst courier service! How the hell they stay in business I'll never know, I have yet to have a delivery from them that arrived correctly or on time.

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Guy Glitchy: Villagers torch Openreach effigy

FuzzyWuzzys
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Headmaster

Re: Lies, damn lies and BT excuses

It's "whomever", not "whoever".

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USB stick found in West London contained Heathrow security data

FuzzyWuzzys
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As good Samaritan I've picked up abandoned SD cards, USB sticks and I've found mobile phones, I attempt to get them back to their owners and in order to do that I have to look at what's on them for clues as to the owner.

Suppose this USB stick had the whole year's worth of some students notes and they were going frantic about losing them? You find them and hand them back and make someone's day a bit better.

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FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Which only goes to prove yet again that security failures are all about the weakest link, and as per usual it's the dopey, soft squidgy, burger chomping, arse scratching, nose picking, fleshy drongo sitting in front of the screen!

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Fresh bit o' Linux to spruce up that ancient Windows Vista box? Why not, we say...

FuzzyWuzzys
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Nice but still some problems with it

I gave it a spin in a VM and it's a nice quint XP style interface. The problems I found were that the package manager wouldn't use the proxy settings through a NAT network, not without some serious faffing about under the hood which no noob is going to do. The installer to move the Live CD to HD wouldn't run at all, again bang goes the simplicity. On the whole I like it but I think it needs a lot more testing, "Never underestimate the ingenuity of a non-techie.", they will find the most bizarre ways to break your apps imaginable!

Sadly the biggest crime in this distro is that user passwords cannot contain non-alpha characters! Whoa! Bad move, very, very bad move indeed, noobs should never be allowed to get away with bad habits like that!

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IBM offloads Notes and Domino to India's HCL Technologies

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Lotus Notes as a web proxy.

I seem to recall way back around 1995 using Lotus Notes as a proxy server for web browsing. It was bloody awful, even then when web pages were very basic but considering we used Notes for the usual business apps like travel, expenses, etc, using it as a web proxy too was quite novel.

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Boss put chocolate cake on aircon controller, to stop people using it

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: Heating / Aircon

My missus insists we have it about 23C in our house all year round, which only happened after her thyroid went haywire just after a difficult pregnancy. I prefer to be cold than hot, so my missus will often wallow in the bath 2 or 3 times a day on weekends rather than force the rest of us to sweat it out with her.

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Car trouble: Keyless and lockless is no match for brainless

FuzzyWuzzys
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Alarm going off while driving, oh yes!

I finished a photo shoot one Summer Sunday morning around 6am in a small rural hamlet, packed away and just set off when somehow my Honda CRV decided that would be the perfect time to spew back the code it got from the key! It set the alarm off, screaming away among the quaint thatched houses!

Much twitching of curtains as I had to exit the car in the middle of the road, get away from the car, then run back to it and switch the locks on and off in order to shut the alarm up! This continued 2 more times that day, when I contacted Honda they said it'll happen then the key fib battery goes flat, "We can replace it for £45 + VAT."! Holly f**king, how much?!! Needless to say, I went on Amazon, bought a battery for £1.50 and replaced it myself!

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NSA bloke used backdoored MS Office key-gen, exposed secret exploits – Kaspersky

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Mate, I've worked with MS admins who didn't realise the VL centre even existed! So I can quite believe someone who is not an MS admin doing something bloody stupid like running a keygen for Office.

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FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: Tinfoil hat time?

"perhaps I'm just paranoid?"

Nope, just very, very realistic!

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Knock, knock? Oh, no one there? No problem, Amazon will let itself in via your IoT smart lock

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: What could possibly go wrong?

Hmmm, I wonder I mean a guy in trackie bottoms and a t-shirt with a rented white van full of Amazon parcels. Somehow I think I might come home to find my latest Amazon parcel and bugger all else left in my house!!

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Holy DUHK! Boffins name bug that could crack crypto wide open

FuzzyWuzzys
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Happy

"..something like a random nonce...".

I'm sorry, I'm in a very puerile mindset today!

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Your shoe, chewing gum, or ciggies are now your extra password

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

"Oh dammit, I left my 'password shirt' at home now I can't get my shopping done!"

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HMRC's switch to AWS killed a small UK cloud business

FuzzyWuzzys
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Don't want to sound nasty but...

...if you're entire business is built on supplying just one customer then you're asking for trouble.

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Sex harassment scandal scoops up Silicon Valley's Slimy Scoble

FuzzyWuzzys
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FAIL

Re: Some advice from my mom...

Don't know about you but my mother never had to tell me to not harass women!

It never occurred to my mum, rest her soul, that I would touch anyone inappropriately, she knew all the hard work she'd put in to bring me up properly meant that it would most likely never occur to me to behave such a way. Out of respect to everyone, I adhere without thinking to the required norms of respect for society and try to go beyond that by showing respect to all people irrespective of race, creed, gender and sexual orientation.

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Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Re: Cat and Mouse

So your defeatist apathy is a better option? You'd better read "Maus" if you think a world is better with all Cat.

( Yes Godwin invoked by way of a literary reference! )

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What the fdisk? Storage Spaces Direct just vanished from Windows Server in version 1709

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Re: You're expecting sense?

"I advise against using any new features or products, for example SQL server, all features available in all versions, but never know those feature could be moved back to the enterprise edition at any time."

Good job you don't work with Oracle products! It's worse, they simply enable components, bury the "requires license to use" in the docs and wait for you to have used it by accident, then suddenly come in, audit you and dump a £50k bill on the CFO's desk!

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I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs

FuzzyWuzzys
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Headmaster

Re: British revenge

"But all I can say in us Yanks' defense is that you Brits"

No, no, no!

Don't start a sentence with "But".

Don't use "us" when you should have used "we".

Oh, an please spell "defence" correctly.

"All I can say in defence of we Yanks is that the Brits must have created ITIL..."

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FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: Hmm.

"Ah, I see you're trying to start a war. ;-)"

Anyone else read this and suddenly remember that annoying "Clippy" bastard?!

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Dear America, best not share that password with your pals. Lots of love, the US Supremes

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: What happens if...

"If you have kids you will realize that kids don't plan. So you have your credit card couriered to them and tell them the PIN so they can withdraw cash to pay the bill. By your reckoning this is obvious breach of rules is punishable."

Jesus, you're a fecking eejit! So you want a new car, you see it on eBay, you make contact and agree to buy it from the seller. You then post the seller your card telling them to take the money off the card and post the card back when they're done?!

Only one person can use your CC, that's you. Don't like it? Tough! The CC company owns the card, the account, it's a private company and you made an agreement with them, their rules.

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'There has never been a right to absolute privacy' – US Deputy AG slams 'warrant-proof' crypto

FuzzyWuzzys
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Mushroom

Simple, let the US do it and then when they world and their dog get access to everything the US publishes in digital format, then perhaps we'll finally start to get some sense from the fecking idiot politicians. The second their entire lives are splashed all over the media because it was a piece of cake to open up their private online datastores, then I'm sure things will change double quick!

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Star Wars: Big Euro cinema group can't handle demand for tickets to new flick

FuzzyWuzzys
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Unhappy

Re: spoilerific

Funny you say that, I was doing some work over lunchtime, looked over and a colleague had the preview full screen with headphones and that's exactly what I thought. "Oh, another light sabre fight! Oh another view of an open battlefield with x-wings and tie fighters. Oh another battle in space. Oh another dramatic close up on faces in dark spaces while they talk about the various aspects of the Jedi religion.".

This from someone who saw the original back in the '70s and the 2 sequels in the '80s. When #7 came out on DVD my wife and daughter bought me the DVD and I've never seen it! It's not that I don't want to, I just can't be bothered to make the time these days. I'll make time for the original trilogy and have done just 2 months ago but I just can't be arsed to make time for 1,2,3,7,8,9 they do nothing for me. 4,5,6 sum up my childhood I suppose. The films for 1,2,3,7,8,9 are for a different generation, they're not for me or mine, they mean very little to me and I cannot make the connection in the same way as I can for 4,5,6.

Even my wife and daughter whom have no interest in the franchise, have never played with the toys, have no SW collectables, have seen 1,2,3 and 7 at the cinema and I haven't!

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Oracle promises ‘highly automated’ security in self-driving database

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

"It will then automatically patch itself, rather than waiting for a human to schedule downtime."

I know Larry hates Bill Gates with a passion but he should pay attention to what happens when Windows happily installs patches automatically. When the apps crash or simply won't start we'll all start switching off the autonomous crud and performing the updates manually as we can't trust it to behave itself!

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Internet-wide security update put on hold over fears 60 million people would be kicked offline

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: "60 million people could be forced offline"

Hey, all the time they're sharing pictures of cats on Zuck's cash-cow, they're not there getting in everyone else's way. Count your blessings!

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IKEA flat-packs TaskRabbit to crack assembly code

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Can't wait for the first call...

"Hello? Yeah is that John Davis, yeah bought this Swedish thing and I can't get it up! It's tall and stiff and won't stay up long enough for me to screw hard. Can you help me? Hello?"

An hour later, open the door...

"Hello there, I'm PC Smith. We've had a report that disturbing and obscene calls can been made from this address to a local old-job worker."

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'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: We lost, get over it

No, people ( irrespective of gender, race, culture or creed ) enjoy different things.

I, like 90% of the IT people I've met, couldn't give a flying monkey's toss what gender you are, what god you pray to, if you like making models of the Cutty Sark out of lolly sticks, going to S&M clubs on a Tuesday night, whatever, so long as you muck in when there's a problem, help get it sorted before we all get our arse chewed by upper management for being useless and ultimately outsourced to cloud management services!

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Out, damned Spot! Amazon emits Echo ball with screen, inevitable ever-listening mic

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

"Captain Cyborg"

Anyone remember 10 years ago how we all laughed at poor old Dr Kev, "Captain Cyborg" himself and his obsession with having tech around him, his house, work and about his person constantly?

Hmmm, maybe he wasn't so funny after all judging by the number of people on this thread handing over their lives to Bezos in return for....erm, wel I'm sure there's some positives to all this on-demand tech!

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FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

I bet a quick scan of YouTube will show that someone has....

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FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: nightstand or desk

"I’ve a very good friend since childhood who habitually goes into serious arguments while soundly asleep."

My wife informs me that I talk continuously at what she reckons is about 3-4 times my normal speaking rate and apparently I can rabbit for about 2-3 hours at time! I also have a habit of laughing in my sleep, some nights I have to be woken up to stop me with the longest she was able to tolerate me being around 45 mins of continuous non-stop laughing and giggling. No wonder I wake up with a sore throat and aching face!

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Mac High Sierra hijinks continue: Nasty apps can pull your passwords

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: Plaintext passwords??

That's the whole idea of a locked keychain, sensitive information that has to remain "as-is" but still has to be made available on request, however not to any app willy-nilly as is happening now.

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Oracle promises SLAs that halve Amazon's cloud costs

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Larry isn't stupid, this is his usual hype and BS!

Larry has a well earned reputation for spouting utter bollocks that his sales droids have to repeat and the dev techies have to deliver, it's no great surprise Larry was best mates with Steve Jobs, another seriously psychotic bullshitter.

Oracle cloud will be cheaper, hmm, sure Larry! The second you realise that guy down the road ( Azure, Goolge, CouchDB, MongoDB, Hadoop, etc ) is making more money, you'll put the prices up faster than a whippet with a bum full of dynamite. You're the same as Virgin and Sky, get through the door on a short-term, cut-price contract, and just like the classic drug-dealer once they're hooked, jack up the prices 'cos you know you're the only game in town for them.

We weren't born yesterday Larry mate!

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FuzzyWuzzys
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We're not all like that!

"...they love it because it keeps them on the gravy train."

Nice. I personally love being a DBA because there's never dull moment, there's always something being demanded of the system that wasn't anticipated. Sure I get paid good money but I only get paid what the market will stand. You could say the same for Javascript, it's probably got less keywords than ZX Spectrum BASIC or even bog standard C but make it "sing and dance" is still a skill that people learn how to do and the better they do it the more they should be paid. There will always be cowboys in any line of work, those who simply coast along and apply no real thought to what they do, they have no passion and they take the money and damage the reputation of others but not everyone is like that, some of us still believe passionately about IT and enjoy the daily challenge of problem solving.

Sure Oracle software CAN be complicated but it's not really any more complicated than SQL Server or MySQL. I would say, through bitter experience, that install Sharepoint and Exchange are far more hideous than anything Oracle sells, SP and EX are a minefield of patch requirements, anyone who looks after those deserves damn good pay! With Oracle tou run an install script like any other software and out of the box it works, just like any other software. Like Windows, like SQL Server, like OSX, like iOS, like MySQL...note I said works, I never said works well. At that point you pay someone who knows how to make it work properly. Every product works out of the box, very few don't these days and if you weren't that demanding about it you could just leave it as is and just use it. The issue comes when people demand a huge bang for their buck, that's when you need someone to tune it and tweak it.

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EasyJet: We'll have electric airliners within the next decade

FuzzyWuzzys
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Joke

Well....

Look at this way, if you're up at 20,000 feet and the batteries go flat then the passengers could start peddling to recharge them!

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SQL Server 2017: What's new, what's missing on Linux, and what's next?

FuzzyWuzzys
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Price point with Oracle? Think lower...a lot lower!

"We are going to go aggressively, with the value of SQL Server and the price point compared to, for example, Oracle.”

Yeah, I think SQL Server on Linux is great, it works OK and the base product is as usable as it's Windows cousin, minus the features already mentioned in the article. However when it comes to Linux you're going to have to compete at the price point of PostresSQL, MySQL and obviously with the big data NoSQL boys like Hive, Mongo and CouchDB!

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Deloitte is a sitting duck: Key systems with RDP open, VPN and proxy 'login details leaked'

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

GitHub is great...

It's a like a hackers wet dream, the right searches will yield lots of useful system passwords, even more so as we all move to cloud services. It's great fun seeing how many developers out there have a total lack of common sense when it comes to security, not all them just the really stupid ones!

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Why Uber isn't the poster child for capitalism you wanted

FuzzyWuzzys
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Happy

Re: Uber and London

You missed a line at the end...

Millennial whingers: <silence>

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Web devs griping about iPhone X notch: You're rendering it wrong

FuzzyWuzzys
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Thumb Up

Damn, you beat me to it! Exactly what I was thinking, imagine all the fun you could have putting in a fake set of icons and faking subsequent system config screen.

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The award for worst ISP goes to... it starts with Talk and ends with Talk

FuzzyWuzzys
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Re: Sky

"The process of leaving was painful, with quite probably the rudest call centre handler in history, who was shouting and refusing to listen, intent on going through her script of bribes to keep us with them."

Yep, I remember leaving Sky about 3 years and the call centre person said ( this no lie ) , "So you're going to Virgin? You do know all their kit is second hand and fails after 3 months? Virgin are not very good at support either, I would strongly advise you to avoid them and stay with Sky."

"Virgin are offering me 30mb/s for the same price I'm paying Sky. Can you get my ADSL above the rubbish 2mb/s I've been complaining about for the last 12 months?"

"Sorry, that's not our problem, that's BTs problem."

"Thank you very much for summing up in one short sentence, exactly why I'm leaving Sky, You don't care about a service and your diabolical attitude to customers just reeks."

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FuzzyWuzzys
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"Users said slow speeds, frequent connection drop-outs and poor customer service as their biggest bugbears with the provider."

Sadly as Virgin pushes their monster speeds up and up, they're going the same way. My service used to be brilliant but lately it's just falling apart, drop outs at least 3-4 times a day for 2-3 mins.

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How Apple is taming the ad biz. Just don't expect Google or Zuck to follow

FuzzyWuzzys
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The ad men abused the privilege of having a captive audience, we moaned and complained, blocked them. Now a huge company, whether you like Apple or not they have a knack of parting the public from their spondoolics, has decided it has nothing to lose by kicking the admen too in order to make it look like some sort of "freedom fighter". I'm happy with anything anyone does that puts the tracking and admen under control.

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Microsoft reveals details of flagship London store within spitting distance from Apple's

FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

You need to factor in age of the test subject, "plumbing pressure" reduces with age!

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You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

FuzzyWuzzys
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If you can graph it, then you can get fund it!

That's my experience of 35 years of IT, if you can sling enough bullshit figures together to make enough confusing graphs ( it seems to be pie mostly as pie seems to hide all details! ) then you can almost without fail, convince enough management above your current level to fund your latest jolly to software developer HQ 300 miles away and subsequent software toy purchase request. Once you're bored with it, pass it to some minion, who in turn will use it 5 times and then leave to slowly drain support contract money from said company for 3 years until the bean-counters start whinging about belt tightening!

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Google Cloud's API knows the sort of thing you like to look at

FuzzyWuzzys
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Boffin

"If I know the tweets and news and other texts you consume, and I cluster them, then I can very quickly determine your set of interests / sentiments / whatever clustering regime is applied,"

Yes, and that's the point. They're not allowed to gather info directly from you unless you grant them the privilege. However they no longer need to get direct access to you, they can work out who you are and what you like simply by piecing your life back together from the trail you leave behind. Why do think big corps like Google and Facebook aren't fussed about your granting them access to directly collect info about you? They simply have so much reach and so much data about you they know all about you already!

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A todger, a 2.5kg dumbbell, the fire brigade... and the inevitable angle grinder

FuzzyWuzzys
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WTF?

Call me naive about such matters, I tend to stick to putting my member in the holes God made available in our beloved human counterparts but couldn't they show him a picture of his gran naked or just jack him off, surely either of these would make said member flaccid?

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FuzzyWuzzys
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Facepalm

Re: You missed the back story...

"I genuinely thought that this might have been a tragic accident, where the gentlemans gentleman had somehow become trapped between the flats of two weights, perhaps while stacking them with sweaty, post-workout hands."

I've actually done that but with my index finger, it was the most intense pain I've ever felt. 2 x 25Kg weights slamming together and my finger tip in between. I've never seen so much blood come of me from small place! It cost me finger nail too which to this day, 25 years later, still never grew back properly.

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