* Posts by BurnT'offering

388 publicly visible posts • joined 21 Dec 2015

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Apple's iOS updates brick iPads

BurnT'offering

Updated

Works fine.

Anecdotal evidence aside, doesn't every update of every OS these days brick at least a few devices? An opportunity for recycling a pre-written story template with blank spaces for device and OS names, and version number. Not that El Reg would sink so low, of course

Art heist 'pranksters' sent down for six months

BurnT'offering

Re: dangerous driving

Very important to choose the right tool for the job.Hopping onto a bus with a full load of nuns and attacking them with a snooker cue is frowned upon. Plough into the same bus in the Bentley and the judge will award you points for style

BurnT'offering

Re: For some reason...

Keeping Intelligence Secret - from themselves, presumably

BurnT'offering

Re: It may be a clever ploy...

Yes, I'm sure the guards and inmates will have a few hearty laughs after being pranked. Prison is noted for nurturing a sense of camaraderie. "Gosh, you really got me there. Well, no hard feelings, eh?"

Big Pharma wrote EU anti-vaping diktat, claims Tory ex-MEP

BurnT'offering

Re: Kudos to the vapers

Curse you for overcoming my trollery with reason and patience! Seriiously, thanks, that's the answer I was hoping to elicit/provoke.

BurnT'offering

Re: Kudos to the vapers

So, if you were a bookmaker, what odds would you give me that vaping is still considered 95% safe in 20 years time?

BurnT'offering

Re: Kudos to the vapers

A massive number of people are trying something new and untested. Will there be long term effects on health? t's too soon to say one way or the other. But, if it makes you feel better to believe there are none, go for it. Maybe the placebo effect will boost your immune system enough to negate any harm.

BurnT'offering

Kudos to the vapers

It's very public spirited of you all to take part in a vast public health experiment on the safety of inhaling chemical vapours. Your sacrifice will not be in vain as it provides everyone else the opportunity to part in a vast public health experiment on the health benefits of schadenfreude

'Knucklehead' Kansas bloke shoots self in foot

BurnT'offering

The only way to bring gun sense to the US

Is for absolutely everyone to carry as many loaded guns as they can manage at all times.

And then, when the place is empty, we can start over

Nuisance caller fined a quarter of a million pounds by the ICO

BurnT'offering

I phoned them back to make a claim

Couldn't make out a word the agent said

Is uBeam the new Theranos?

BurnT'offering

Re: Why do so many female tech CEOs turn out to be disappointments or frauds?

"Why do so many tech CEOs turn out to be disappointments or frauds?"

FTFY

Another question:

Why do so many Breitbart articles turn out to be sexist click-bait?

BurnT'offering

Great idea

Wireless transmission of power will be there perfect complement to leccie generated by cold fusion

Inside Electric Mountain: Britain's biggest rechargeable battery

BurnT'offering

Built by the government

Then sold off. Sigh ...

Microsoft boots fake fix-it search ads

BurnT'offering

Also banned

Results for 'shit' in response to searches for 'Sherlock'

We're calling it: World hits peak Namey McNameface

BurnT'offering

Re: bollocks-filter

Don't get me wrong - taking 'methinks' as a grammatical form. melikes it very much. Maybe mebes giving the word a bad rap, just because it's become a trope among Pringle sweater wearing, foaming tankard quaffing, free-marketering Brexit-bores. Mewishes it didn't themuses so that it could weuses with out us wecringes

BurnT'offering

Re: bollocks-filter

Don''t forget 'methinks'. One little word that means 'I am a middle-aged Daily Express-reading balding white male Faragist who drives a Dacia, thinks wifey belongs in the kitchen. David Cameron is a dangerous radical, pop music is a dreadful row, and Johnny Foreigner should be deported,

BurnT'offering

Re: Booty McBootnote?

What does Beyonce have to do with this?

BurnT'offering

Re: McSheepFaces.

What's the collective noun for the group of people who resort to the clichéd 'sheep' epithet?

UK.gov is about to fling your data at anyone who wants it. How? Why? Shut up, pleb

BurnT'offering

Sharing citizens' data is essential to privatising public services

FTFY

FBI director claims that videoing police is causing crime uptick

BurnT'offering

So, when you retire from the FBI, Director Comey

Are you by any chance thinking of running for a political office?

Super cool: Arctic data centres aren't just for Facebook

BurnT'offering

Re: Scotland

Connectivity is easier to fix than geography, despite what BT says

BurnT'offering

So, would ie make sense

to build a cloud on Skye?

First successful Hyperloop test module hits 100mph in four seconds

BurnT'offering

Re: When Things Go Wrong.

You get traffic jam - and you need a big spoon

BurnT'offering

Re: The real kicker is that it'd work!

With the odd head-on collision

BurnT'offering

Re: southeast UK is becoming a dormitory for London

True - they work all day in London, and then sleep standing up in mobile dormitories that move slowly back and forth along rails radiating out from London. It's a very effective solution to the housing crisis

UK.gov pays four fellows £35k to do nothing for three months

BurnT'offering

Re: Academia

"Do you plan to do any work?"

"I'm thinking about it"

"Oh, OK"

BurnT'offering

This used to happen across the UK goverment

Now, they have realised economies of scale by doing this year-round and centralising it in the Government Digital Service

IBM's Internet of Things brainbox foresees 'clean clothes as a service'

BurnT'offering

Re: Things get a little silly.

Wait till they add voice control. "Oven, grill my kidneys" .... "Aaaagggghhhh!!! Fercrissake, Oven, Stop!"

BurnT'offering

Re: “just because you can do something, it doesn’t mean you should"

"If I have to spend more money on an appliance I want it spent on reliability and increased life. Not on gimmicks and pointless data slurping."

Yes! Cars, lawnmowers, audio gear, toilets ... where will it end? Why do I need an OLED screen on a hairdryer? Form fucked up by phony functionality

Brexit campaign group fined £50k for sending half a million spam texts

BurnT'offering

In March 2016 it fined Labour MP David Lammy £5,000 for making nuisance calls.

Doesn't he have anything better to do?

A UK-wide fibre broadband investment plan? Don't ask awkward questions

BurnT'offering

Re: This is the free market at work ...

Quite. If we called it the GPO, they wouldn't even have to re-brand the manhole covers in my street.

BurnT'offering

This is the free market at work ...

From Wikipedia - "The Uniform Penny Post was a component of the comprehensive reform of the Royal Mail, the UK's official postal service, that took place in the 19th century. The reforms were a government initiative to eradicate the abuse and corruption of the existing service. Under the reforms, the postal service became a government monopoly, but it also became more accessible to the British population at large through setting a charge of one penny for carriage and delivery between any two places in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland irrespective of distance."

Nationalise OpenReach

Huge embarrassment over fisting site data breach

BurnT'offering

Have I Been Pwned? - does it accept wildcard queries?

eg *.parliament.uk

Siri's maker finally unveils dev-tastic universal AI interface Viv

BurnT'offering

Interesting

Cloudy availability of services like this and IBM's Watson should lead to some very rapid and far reaching innovation

Facebook promises release of own 'modular routing platform'

BurnT'offering

Re: a social media best known for visual regurgitation of ones dinner.

That's one way of looking at it. Another view would be that it's highly scalable, performant and resilient - more so than many old fashioned business. UK banks, for example

Gartner waves for everyone to join its hyperconverged bandwagon

BurnT'offering

Re: Micro-services are now the latest hype topic

That probably happens around the same time as yet another Gartner press release causes one to disappear up one's own ennui, chuck in IT and become something sensible, like a dustman.

BurnT'offering

Ah Gartner

I have fond memories of them preaching, "You must embrace creative destruction". Turns out that didn't mean burning the office down

Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

BurnT'offering

Good work, chaps

But I think it's time to put your toys away

Spaniard live streams 195km/h burn-up

BurnT'offering

Re: There will surely be an interim

If you're standing at a red light and want to get out of the way of a truck, how far do you have to drive to hit the speed limit?

BurnT'offering

There will surely be an interim

between driven and driverless cars that involves remotely limiting cars to the posted speed limits. Personally, that wouldn't bother me at all

Transfer techies at SWIFT tell Bangladesh Bank: Don't shift blame for $81m cyberheist

BurnT'offering

Sweet 2FA!

Maybe they should consider stronger authentication

UK's 'superfast' broadband is still complete dog toffee, even in London

BurnT'offering

In other news

Research has shown that the UK's Superfurry Animals are only 97th in the global league tables of animal furriness. The Animals have responded with an assurance that they will do their utmost to become more hirsute if the Government agrees to grant them £6billion in funding. This should be enough to win Axl Rose's unwanted hair plugs on eBay or a vial of Andy Murray's nasal clippings

BurnT'offering

There's a simple solution

Nationalise OpenReach.

BurnT'offering

Re: I pay £22.49 a month.

Including line rental?

Roll your own Office Online

BurnT'offering

I hope our corporate IT bods don't hear about this

They couldn't felicitate festivities in a facility for the fermentation of farinaceous firewaters

Brits who live in 'smart cities' don't really know or care

BurnT'offering

Re: Argghh!

I think that sentence is correct. Whatever 'Smart Cities' is, it is probably measured by weight, and good for the roses.

Siemens Healthcare struck by rebranding madness

BurnT'offering

If I worked for this company

I would now be either dying of shame or suing them for constructive dismissal. They'd be better off calling themselves Healthy McHealthface.

BurnT'offering

Re: What should my rebranded job title be?

Sabered Seaman?

Woman charged with blowing AU$4.6m overdraft on 'a lot of handbags'

BurnT'offering

Re: What am I missing?

It took the cops two years to persuade her it was OK to take the money. For a small fee

ZX Printer's American cousin still in use, 34 years after purchase

BurnT'offering

Re:See the thread about vaping and Alzheimer's.

"Importantly, there is no evidence to suggest that aluminium exposure increases your risk of dementia."

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=102

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