* Posts by allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

5080 posts • joined 20 Oct 2015

Need the toilet? Wanna watch a video ad about erectile dysfunction?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Judge of quality ?

A place I used to work at didn't have different toilets for management and non-management staff. And one kind of (crappy) tissue for all. But they did have the sort of holder-thingies where you have two bog rolls in them side by side. One night someone who had access to both the right keys and a label maker replaced one of the rolls in every holder with quality tissue. And stuck a neat label reading "Management only" next to them.

Caused quite an uproar the next day.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: STERCULIUS

O Cloacina, Goddess of this place,

Look on thy suppliants with a smiling face.

Soft, yet cohesive let their offerings flow,

Not rashly swift nor insolently slow.

(A short poem typically attributed to Lord Byron; and I wouldn't put it past him.)

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: hand dryers

Ringo: "There's more here than meets the eye,"

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China launches aircraft carrier the length of 2.1 brontosaurs

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Badger size

Badger:

Length: 34.80 m (114 ft 2 in)

Wingspan: 33.00 m (108 ft 3 in)

Height: 10.36 m (34 ft 0 in)

Wing area: 165 m2 (1,780 sq ft)

Empty weight: 37,200 kg (82,012 lb)

Gross weight: 76,000 kg (167,551 lb)

Max takeoff weight: 79,000 kg (174,165 lb)

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Slightly disapointing

I don't think so. China is long past simply copying stuff. They are also very patient and work their way towards long term objectives slowly, one step at a time. Then there is the circumstance that it's nice to have matching aircraft for your carrier. IIRC, China has also their own "copy" of the corresponding jets. None of these, ships or planes, are simple knock-off copies. The designs will have been evaluated, compared with other designs and somewhat altered, with future developments in the designs in mind.

As to catapults, well...

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iPhone lawyers literally compare Apples with Pears in trademark war

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Does anyone remember ...

Whenever I'm at IKEA I set a dozen or so egg timers in the kitchenstuff aisle.

Because someone has to do it.

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Washing machine AI? You'll thank AWS, Microsoft, Google (eventually)

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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NATO secures adoption of submerged drone data comms standard

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Well, since waterbondage is a thing, JANUS could be used to utter the safeword.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: JANUS

Getting 28 nations to agree to a name / acronym couldn't have been that easy either.

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Irish Stripe techie denied entry to US – for having wrong stamp in passport

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Collateral Damage

What's the typical half-life for insanity?

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Hyundai app security blunder allowed crooks to 'steal victims' cars'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Past and present

Must be this "progress"-thingy I keep hearing about so much.

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Uber engineer's widow: Stress and racism killed my husband ... Uber: Let's make flying cars!

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Flying nightmare

Flying car, working prototype in 2.5 years... sure, sure... just don't sell the bike shop yet, Wilbur.

I call BPoBS. Looks like they are getting nervous due to pressure by some of the investors.

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Brit behind Titanium Stresser DDoS malware sent to chokey

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"I think paid employment is supposed to be a quid pro quo basis!"

Quite. As long as they will pretend to pay me, I will pretend to work.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"has been utilising that talent for personal gain at the expense of others"

Isn't that the definition of all paid employment?

No, that would be "utilising the talent of others for personal gain".

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Oh dear, Prime Minister! Nearly 100 Beeb bosses make more than you

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Gotta park them somewhere until retirement age where they are out of the way, can't do much harm and are sufficiently pampered as to not raise a stink within the party.

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Western Digital relocates HQ, sheds jobs

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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First WD, and now this too.

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A very Canadian approach: How net neutrality rules reflect a country's true nature

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Shurely shome mishtake?

What in the World? indeed - Denmark doesn't have 'schnapps'. Denmark has Aquavit!

Skål!

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What is your favourite cider?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: With a name like "Cox" ...

What about the Calvados, did that work out?

As to apples: Golden Delicious. If possible from somewhere in the Puster Valley (South Tyrol).

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Webroot antivirus goes bananas, starts trashing Windows system files

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"The timing of the file classification blunder couldn't be worse for at least one employee. Gary Hayslip was hired earlier this month as Webroot's chief information security officer, and this can't be a fun first few weeks on the job."

Ooh, I geddit - haze the new guy! Really funny, guys.

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Lyrebird steals your voice to make you say things you didn't – and we hate this future

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: My voice. is my. passport

Pah, in the 1960ies all you needed to break into the computer system of a large multinational corporation was the right kind of bucket.

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We're 'heartbroken' we got caught selling your email records to Uber, says Unroll.me boss

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: once again Uber...

Uber is mob tactics on all possible levels.

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Uber cloaked its spying and all it got from Apple was a slap on the wrist

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Makes you wonder whether Apple has invested in Uber.

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Give 'bots a chance: Driverless cars to be trialled between London and Oxford

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: how exactly are they different to the other offerings?

"so what exactly is new here that hasn't been attempted? The UK bit??"

Driving on the wrong left side of the road?

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: There's a great deal

"What would you do when you see the car in front has stickers on it saying "Self-driving test vehicle" and "sponsored by the UKAEA" ?"

I would want to know what's in the boot...

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Repainting the text....

"sounds like a perfect job for a drone at 3am"

Or one of those: those.

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Huawei to build global cloud with bit barns run by different operators

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"Huawei has three CEOs, each of whom helm the company for six months and then give the next-in-line a turn."

Gold leader, White leader and Red leader? And White leader says stuff like "Failure is not an option!" ?

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Qualcomm's Windows-capable silicon will land later rather than sooner

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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When the company announced its Snapdragon-for-Windows-10 plans in December 2016, the company said “The first devices running the full Windows 10 experience based on Snapdragon processors are expected to be commercially available in the second half of 2017.”

So, nothing but an empty threat so far.

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CompSci boffins find Reddit is ideal source for sarcasm database

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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What about false positives? Like posts that the software tags as sarcastic, when the author wasn't using sarcasm at all... but irony?

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: That's a bunch of crap. Potty humor is much lower than sarcasm!

Oh, really? I fart in your general direction!

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Canada says yes to net neutrality – and no to Trump advisor, eh?

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"America tried that back in 1812. They lost."

Yeees... Only it wasn't a war awith Canada as such, as Canada wasn't Canada yet, but a part of the British Empire. But the British did quite well actually, and even managed to burn down The White House. Well, I suppose even a special relationship has several stages to go through.

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FYI – There's a legal storm brewing in Cali that threatens to destroy online free speech

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Thanks California...

"If I'm sentence to go to prison can I substitute someone else to go in my place?"

Yes. Not legally, mind you, but it's being done.

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Tesla's latest car crash: Its 'meritless' lawsuit against ex-Autopilot bod

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Self-regulating recall?

Once they are fully autonomous 1), they can drive themselves back to the dealer/factory in case of recalls. Or missed payments; putting the Repo Man out of business.

1) Let's skip the discussion about when that 2) will be just once, okay?

2) Once your car will also be sentient, there'll be nothing but new problems. Like constant bickering about how "you only ever want to drive to boring places like work and shopping. I wanna go someplace fun!" and stuff like that. Who needs that?

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Nuh-uh, Google, you WILL hand over emails stored on foreign servers, says US judge

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"Ultimately national security is not helped by weakening your country's economy."

And then some.

Exhibit A: The Soyuz Sovetskikh Sotsialisticheskikh Respublik. For the younger readers: they used to be big, once upon a time.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"Looking at your previous posts you're on somewhat shaky ground there my friend."

You can tell by his posts that he's living in California?

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Hard-pressed Juicero boss defends $400 IoT juicer after squeezing $120m from investors

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Maybe they'd done better calling it "Juicy McJuiceMaster?"

"Better name, still s**t product"

That's nothing a huge marketing budget couldn't fix.

Oh, and obligatory pop cultural reference: "Is that all it does?"

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Scott Adams had it right years ago

"Of course back in the day they would have had servants to do this kind of thing as it was menial work and therefore beneath them, but these days it's gadget time."

The really rich have servants to operate their gadgets for them.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: SI units.

@Symon: you are really Adam Goren, and I claim my 5.9715 €!

Atom and his package - LORD IT'S HARD TO BE HAPPY WHEN YOU'RE NOT USING THE METRIC SYSTEM

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: "Sugar swings. Serve some."

Amazing, thanks for the link (never mind the buzzcocksfeed)!

A master class in PR blurb indeed.

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Would you believe it? The Museum of Failure contains quite a few pieces of technology

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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"But honestly, no one associates motorcycles with nice smells. Not even men."

Wrong.

(Which is probably why the HD perfume failed. Everybody who did associate motorcycles with nice smells was repulsed by the HD perfume which was horrible.)

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Alaska dentist 'pulled out patient's tooth while riding a hoverboard'

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: One more thing...

My dentist has current motorcycle magazines in his waiting room. But his surgery is managed so efficient that there is barely any waiting time, so I only ever get to skim them and read the cartoon on the last page.

#krautistanproblems

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Please don't call them Facebook chatbots, says Facebook's bot boss

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Well, even if it works

"More like having a root canal drilled, or toenail extracted"

Both quite okay as long as you are on the right amount of the right drugs.

The same probably goes for using Facebook, but I wouldn't know.

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Revealed: Scammers plaster Google Maps with pins to lure punters from honest traders

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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This is why we can't have nice things.

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Drunk user blow-dried laptop after dog lifted its leg over the keyboard

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: keyboard + autoclave....

Right idea.

Wrong method.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Ah, but progress...

Put the damp thingy in a Tupperware container or plastic bag with a handfull of those "silicea" ("silica"?) gel packs that come with a lot of electronic stuff. Sucks the moisture up a lot better than rice.

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allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Good on Jim Re dog

"Dogs have personalities and some are known to get in to mischief if their owner doesn't give them enough attention."

Pretty much like little kids, then.

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(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Up, Up & Away!

Up, up and away! indeed - 36 minutes to pub o'clock and counting. Have a nice weekend, everyone!

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PACK YOUR BAGS! Boffins spot Earth-size planet most likeliest yet to harbor alien life

allthecoolshortnamesweretaken
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Re: Story withdrawn. WHY?

Public striptease?

You know the rules - pics or it didn't happen.

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