* Posts by CrazyOldCatMan

2875 posts • joined 6 Oct 2015

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

CrazyOldCatMan
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overbearing aura of enthusiasm that comes from not having been punched in the face enough

Or as the result of the drugs prescribed after the aforementioned punching..

Although, in my experience Sales and Marketing[1] types are entirely too thick-skinned and up themselves to take the hint.

Sadly, my current jobs doesn't allow me to be rude to the poor dears when they phone up to flog me the latest tat. Not that I have any ability to buy said tat.

[1] Never to be mistaken for each other apparently. Or so I've been told. Although it was a sales type that told me that marketing's job was to hold the customers down while sales screws them..

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There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

CrazyOldCatMan
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"It’s about pressing a button on your keyfob to find out where you parked your car"

Which can, occasionally (OK once!) be useful. When you attend a gig at a large outside venue where parking is in a selection of unlit fields, none of which are signposted, the only way to find you car can be wandering around the field pressing the keyfob until something beeps at you.

Sometimes it's even the right car.. (and I apologise to the strangers who, apparently, had the same keyfob code as me..).

(It was Genesis, Leeds Roundhay Park in 1992. A great concert only spoilt by the shoehorning of Lisa Stansfield into the setlist.. - Runrig and Genesis were great).

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Teletypes and Moogs

ancient analog synthesizers

Which are becoming a Thing again (or at least in Prog circles - I think it's that 'authentic' 1970's sound..).

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Saracen and Roland

No, just properly educated.

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it"..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Most people are not just thick.

Me: "You do realise some liquids aren't aqueous?"

Her: "I'm not as stupid as you are"

And then went on to offer you some French Dressing?

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CrazyOldCatMan
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and they referred to themselves as "engineers"

Yeah - but I could refer to myself as "a professional IT person" - it wouldn't mean I was!

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Same with Beowulf

Efste suþweardan strang sunu godwines

sige bið swete þin þenungwerod guþwerig

ac wyllelm se bastard is nu æt pefnesea

ond forbærnð þisne eþel þe þu gehiertest

gadra þa garan on þam hliþan æt hastingan

feoht oð deorcunge oð æfen acolað

ond þu sceol forðferan eac swa angelcynn

on þissum eard þe þu behete to healdenne

I did think of learning Saxon at one point but decided that it was too much like hard work.. So I stuck to doing IT.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Saracen and Roland - not surprised at the blank faces, too obscure

I got it, but only because I'm a history geek..

(Mind you, Roland wasn't as pleasant or gallant as the ballad makes out - he was a typical war-leader of the time).

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: So there you stand....

mere age has rendered your previous hilarious material to a mere damp squib

Which allows me to bring out my favourite depressing poem (can't remember who the Victorian author was but it's used in a song by a prog band called Cosmograf)

Growing Old

What is it to grow old?

Is it to lose the glory of the form

The lustre of the eye?

Is it for beauty to forego her wreath?

Yes, but not for this alone

Is it to feel our strength -

Not our bloom only, but our strength -decay?

Is it to feel each limb

Grow stiffer, every function less exact

Each nerve more weakly strung?

Yes, this, and more! but not

Ah, 'tis not what in youth we dreamed 'twould be!

'Tis not to have our life

Mellowed and softened as with sunset-glow

A golden day's decline!

'Tis not to see the world

As from a height, with rapt prophetic eyes

And heart profoundly stirred

And weep, and feel the fulness of the past

The years that are no more!

It is to spend long days

And not once feel that we were ever young

It is to add, immured

In the hot prison of the present, month

To month with weary pain

It is to suffer this

And feel but half, and feebly, what we feel:

Deep in our hidden heart

Festers the dull remembrance of a change

But no emotion - none

It is - last stage of all -

When we are frozen up within, and quite

The phantom of ourselves

To hear the world applaud the hollow ghost

Which blamed the living man

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CrazyOldCatMan
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The Widow's Mite".***

***although there is apparently some debate

Really? It's quite simple - the rich ones were making a big song 'n dance about giving a (relative) pittance in the hope that people would think them good people because "they gave to charidee".

Whereas, the poor widow gives a (much, much larger in relative terms) donation, in quiet, because she thinks it's the right thing to do.

It's not the science of putting things into orbit to work out the moral of the parable.

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CEO insisted his email was on server that had been offline for years

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Deleting emails

every email I've ever sent or received, ever, back to... pre-2000 certainly

My home email server only has emails back to ~1998 - because that's when I had a major disc-crash and had to rebuild the server from scratch.

But I keep my inbox relatively small and archive/discard stuff every so often.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: That sounds like the story of a madhouse

I mean, the part that makes money never failed, so anything else is just a cost.

And this is something that's bugged me for most of my working life - with very few exceptions[1] IT is seen a net loss in financial terms rather than a cost-of-business expense.

I mean, it's all very well having sales droids in shiny suits going out pressing the flesh, but if it wasn't for IT, they wouldn't be able to sell anything!

Strangely enough, very few sales types seem to see it in those terms. Or accountants. Or Finance Directors..

[1] And all the exceptions seem to have been companies whose main product is IT.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Many years ago..

.. I briefly worked at the corporate arm of a big mobile phone company based in Berkshire.. One day, we decided to clean stuff up around the office.

Upon opening a cupboard, we found an old Novell server humming away (and quite warm!). No-one knew what it was there for (and it didn't seem to have any data on it) so, after letting everyone know about it and waiting a couple of days, we turned it off.

Come month-end, Finance were panicing (even more than usual!) - the billing cycle hadn't completed for the last week or so. After tracing the data flows, we discovered that there was an intermediate server that no-one seemed to know anything about - the sole job that the server did was to take data from one source and copy it to another... and that said server had stopped doing the data copy about a week ago.

The data suspiciously seemed to coincide with when we switched off the old server in the cupboard. So we turned it back on again - and sure enough, after a couple of hours, the billing data started appearing again.

Since the people who had set up the billing process had long since left (they had a *high* staff turnover) we had to get some more people in to fix the billing process so that we could remove the server. It took ages.

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ZTE to USA: Sure, ban us, but you cannot afford such victories

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Err, you missed the point

Yes because they would bother with an AC

Yeah - that's what "they" (TINT) want you to think..

(It's paranoia all the way down!)

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Yahoo! webmail! hacker! faces! nearly! eight! years! in! the! cooler!

CrazyOldCatMan
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"My client deeply regrets the choices which led to him being before this court."

"Particularly the ones that led him to get caught"

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Eight months after Equifax megahack, some Brits are only just being notified

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Timely

you should have something from them around mid October

And it'll be a request for all sorts of data "just to make sure that we know it's you". Or, as I explained to someone who purported to be from my credit-card company (unsolicited call: "we just want you to know about some offers but first we need you to identify yourself". My response was "since I don't have a clue who you are, why don't you tell me something from my account to identify yourself first?". She got quite shirty and kept insisting that I identify myself. The phone suffered a service disconnection event shortly afterwards..)

All of which data will, undoubtedly find its way into the public view either by incompetence or greed. Or incompetent greed..

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BT pushes ahead with plans to switch off telephone network

CrazyOldCatMan
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Most people have cordless phones. How do they work in a blackout?

Which is exactly why I have an old push-button phone in the cupboard under where the cordless phone sits..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Oh well

we might need a new battery soon. I looked and my unit still had a green light

That light is meaningless unless you have a particularly advanced UPS.. I've had UPSen that showed everything as hunky-dory when powered but, as soon as the power fails, the battery lasts about 30 seconds.

From memory (and I could be wrong), the standard UPS battery tests just test the resistance of the battery and, if it's within range, shows a green light. There are lots of circumstances where the battery could have the correct-ish resistance yet have no power reserve.

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OK, this time it's for real: The last available IPv4 address block has gone

CrazyOldCatMan
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The trick then is to beat to death with sticks anyone who suggests IPv8...

IP Mountain Lion? IP High Sierra? Will those do?

:-)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: About the only one that hasn't figured out IPv6 are enterprise & SMB

65-85% of residential users and wireless users are using IPv6 natively already

And then you woke up from the dream and had to face reality..

(In the UK, pretty much all residental ISPs use NAT. NAT and more NAT. Because there's lots of people who understand it and, in general, not many residential people need to run servers..)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Personally

Get a free IPv6 address? You have got to be f- joking

Unless you happen to use a proper ISP. All it took to get Zen to turn it on for me was a quick email to their tech support department..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Personally

When I can afford a weekend to devote to this, I'll try again.

Make sure you have polenty of gin available. It's perfect for washing away the frustration of trying to implement IPv6..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "IPv6 was designed to run alongside IPv4 from the beginning. "

So you got AFAIK, three different ways to have addresses assigned and have to ensure they are configured correctly

Indeed. So, my ISP enables IPv6 for me (at my request), which means that my router now has an IPv6 address. My firewall, that sits behind the router, also gets an IPv6 address.

Unfortunately, one that my router doesn't seem to understand, despite the fact that it's in (theoretically) the same prefix. So my devices inside the firewall can get their IPv6 addresses from the firewall and can see the firewall and all the IPv6-enabled devices inside. But nothing past the external interface of the firewall. The external interface of the firewall can see the internal interface of the router, but not the outside interface and nothing at all outside. So even manually looking up the IPv6 address of an external site and trying to ping6 it gets me a total failure to ping (IPv4 ping can reach it fine).

My firewall rules are OK (anything IPv6 can see anything outside on IPv6 - I'll get it working first then worry about protecting things). My router isn't running any firewall.

Can I work out how to fix it? No. Lots of theoretical stuff on "this is how it should work" that is totally unhelpful. And, after day of trying to make it work, several bottles of gin are starting to look mighty attractive, even though my head is already hurting trying to work my way through the broken IPv6 model..

In the end I gave up and turned off IPv6. Nothing I had needed it anyway..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Compatibility

drop-in replacement which handles both, instead of an abstracted parallel universe where we struggle to find out what our address (or block) is, or to understand if our firewall is actually protecting us

DING! DING! DI<bang!>

Opps. Broke my dinger by dinging it too enthusiastically..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Compatibility

IPv6 was designed to run alongside IPv4 from the beginning. They work independently

And thus invalidate any network security that you had in place..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Compatibility

cretins who designed IP6 had given some thought to making it backward compatible

It's quite clear from the various notes about the IPv6 design process that the people involved wanted to design a 'pure' new address methodology and so discarded anything 'old and broken'. And, in the process, managed to ensure that migration was not only difficult but, potentially, dangerous in terms of network security.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "Nobody uses it..."

I use it!

Congratulations.

Now, image that you are a really big organisation that's invested a lot of money in the whole IPv4 pit - routers, firewalls, access control measures, all of which are potentially bypassable by a bad IPv6 implementation..

In short, IPv6 is a mess. It's a total camel[1], designed by people who really, really didn't consider about how it would get implemented in the real world.

And, when those implementation issues became obvious, made it more complicated still.

A pox on it. We need IPv7 - just add another octet at the start of IPv6..

[1] A camel being a horse designed by a committee. And not a cute itty-bitty-kitty-committee either..

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Guess who's still most moaned about UK ISP... Rhymes with BorkBork

CrazyOldCatMan
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strong British regional accents trying to make themselves understood

You mean, like the Geordies that staff the Sky customer services? Worth ringing up for the accent alone!

(I like regional accents. Apart from the Brummie accent which, bizarrely, is where I was born.. Oh, and the Esturine (Essex et. al.) accents. But my favourites are Geordie and (internationally) South-West Ireland..)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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single static IP and Zen offer one for free

And were cheaper than IDNet for my (initally 8, now 16) block of addresses too.

I like Zen. Even if the IPv6 advice they gave me didn't work - I suspect that wasn't the fault of the advice, more the carbon-based lifeform trying to implement it. And, to be fair, my home setup is a *tad* non-standard..)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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migrated three customer sin

So what address do Lust, Gluttony and Pride live at?[1] And where to the other 4 sins get their broadband?

[1] What is the address of Parliament anyway? "The Big Old Victorian Building that's falling apart, by the Thames, Central London" probably won't get the post delivered..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Mere mention of the letters BT

I had a fairly good relationship with my local BT engineer in the days when my line would fail repeatedly once the line box in the road filled with water..

Which only got fixed once I moved to an ISP that actually paid BT to fix the core issue.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Yep, all over the radio.

uSwitch apparently, which is just a "pick the cheapest" website.

And almost certainly gets dosh from suppliers that it recommends. So dorkdork probably paid them the best..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Not cheap but the odd time I do need to call them, it is a fine experience

Indeed. Even when it was the call to say "I notice that on your website the price for my service has dropped, how about you apply that to my line?".

To which the answer was "sure.. <clickety-click> All done now.". No upselling, no passing off to someone else and no waffling.

I'm still waiting for my exchange to be FTTP-enabled though. My 70/20 FTTP line seems *so* restricting these days :-)

(Runs for cover from the incoming curses/hardware)

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NHS given a lashing for lack of action plan one year since WannaCry

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Kick me whilst I'm down

The mother-in-law is a nurse, and they deal with a lot more shit than doctors have to

Quite often literally.

(Mum was a nurse - at time midwife[1], surgical nurse, school nurse[2], and general ward-sister. I don't hate the smell of hospitals - to me that was what Mum used to smell like so it's quite comforting to me!)

[1] In East London in the mid 1950's. As I discovered when she and my wife were talking about "Call the Midwife". According to her, the setting and methods were fairly authentic although her main comment was "we would have got sacked if we got up to half of what they seem to get away with".

[2] She hated that one. All the responsibility with none of the ability to do stuff to fix the underlying causes. And her boss was (apparently) "a right bitch". That's the one and only time I've ever heard her say anything like that about someone.

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Cambridge Analytica's ex-CEO decides not to front UK Parliamentary Committee again

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Fireside chat

invited downstairs for a chat by a real fire complete with tongs

I sincerely hope that you are not advocating a return to the use of torture. It's unethical, immoral and hideous and only produces information that is required for the torturer to stop torturing - which is generally the one being tortured saying anything to get the torture stopped.

That anyone who believes in democracy and the rule of law can advocate torture is appalling.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: This:

unearthed any evidence he lied

No - in those days I believe they called it "being economical with the truth".

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "There is no legal reason for him to appear."

golden age of honest politicians was. Back before the Romans invaded, one assumes

I suspect you'd need to go further back to before we came down from the trees..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "There is no legal reason for him to appear."

however all political parties have failed in that respect

And, in general, have done since the invention of political parties. There are some instructive lessons to be taken from Ancient Athens in that regard.. (they didn't call them political parties but they essentially were - bodies of citizens who campaigned and voted with others of like mind - usually on the basis of birth class or philosophical concordances).

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Can they summons Zuck?

they cannot summons the Zuckerborg

Not even by sacrificing a data protection person and chanting "all your data are belong to us" three times in quick succession?

(Mind you, that would probably summon Microsoft and Google too. The UnHoly Trinity, all in the same place..)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Can they summons Zuck?

Haven't they learned a lesson that WE the People don't want

Remember - in the Big Money[1] world, there is no We the People. There is only We the Rich and Them the proles. And in Facebooks worldview, we are only datasources to be mined.

[1] Money has no political affiliation - you get oligarchs of every nation and political stripe. Whatever makes them more money. (Wanders off humming Peter Gabriel's song "Big")

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Still waiting....

he is doing his civic duty and relaying what he has been hired to

I didn't know he worked for the IRA? No - not the Irish one..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Still waiting....

What's your obsession with Russia Michael?

He's still sore about Operation Barbarossa - you know, the one where Hitler stabbed Stalin in the back before Stalin could stab him in the back. And they had such an nice agreement to divide Eastern Europe between themselves too!

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You're a govt official. You accidentally slap personal info on the web. Quick, blame a kid!

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Laws and Lessons

YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER

But but but.. MY CAT TOLD ME TO DO IT!

(Honest.)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Good Ol' Government Mentality

obviously more intelligent Muppet

The dog gets called a duppet when he does something wrong.. (portmanteau of 'dog' and 'muppet' as in sprired by the song "Am I a muppet or a man"..)

Just a small snippet of my wildly exciting home life. In other news, the 8-month old kitten has now discovered how the cat door works. It only took her 2 months of watching the other cats..

This post bought to you courtesy of high-strength codeine painkillers. People who say "the warmth will help your joints" should, IMHO just go away. Falabh 'sa boc an airde

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Unisys screwed up

Gotta cache 'em all

"One (token) Ring the capture them and in the darkness cache them"?

Sounds suprisingly... painful.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Unisys screwed up

that's obviously something only a seasoned pro hacker could manage

... and pretty much the only circumstance where I could even be considered "a seasoned pro hacker"..

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Google, AWS IPs blocked by Russia in Telegram crackdown

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Solution...

it would require the Russians to block most of the Internet

Well - they are already blocked (along with China and a few Esatern European countries) from my very tiny segment. And, once I did that, the hacking attempts against my servers went down by about 70%..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: MInor Correction

They actually have significantly higher protections on privacy of communications

Yeah - only the FSB, the GRU, Putin and his oligarch friends (oh - and anyone in the Duma or Russian Govenment that knows someone in the aforementioned list) gets to read everything.

Hardly inspiring. Especially when put against the various laws against 'deviance' (ie - anything other than a traditional Russian lifestyle or being successful in esposing politics that Putin doesn't like).

If you've got nothing to hide, you've got nothing to fear right?

Protest and spread your propaganda all you like, but comparing the Russian Government and the UK Government is a joke. A joke akin to trying to create equivalence between a rabid Siberian tiger and a slightly annoyed housecat kitten.

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'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: AOL memories

My first modem was also 2400 bps

Pah. The youth of today. My first modem was a 1200/75 non-autodial (about the size - and weight - of two housebricks!).

I well remember embiggening my parents phone bill by dialling to Almac BBS in Scotland (we lived in London). There was some... discussion about the on-line time and my parents took to occasionally lifting their phone extension in order to knock me offline..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Dig

awesomeness of putting an AOL CD in the microwave

It stinks like hell though - and I'm sure that the vapourised plastics are probably really, reaaly bad for you.

(Doesn't work for modern CD-R's quite as well - they use a dye layer now rather than a metallised film)

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