* Posts by CrazyOldCatMan

1253 posts • joined 6 Oct 2015

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NASA lights humongous rocket that goes nowhere ... until 2019

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Rocket powered car

Exposure to DHMO has a 97% observed mortality rate.

Worse than that. Historical studies show that everyone exposed to it over a period of 100 years or so has died and thus it has 100% mortality.

Ban it immediately!

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: No. Earth's orbit is safe.

don't get me started on the chemtrails!

Yeah - but think of all the mind-control chemicals we can get in that stream!

Actually Citizen - that information is way above your current clone-level. Please turn yourself in for reprocessing immediately.

Trust The Computer. The Computer Is Your Friend.

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Tired: Java. Desired: Node.js. Retired: The suggestion a JavaScript runtime is bonkers

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Go

I quite like Go. Easy enough to understand, quite flexible etc. The biggest downside is how it handles errors...

And it's a bummer to have to move all those little stones to get the desired result.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Sinclair BASIC had better types.

And didn't auto-break itself at regular intervals when some dependency deep in the worm-can of code got broken..

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Wisconsin badgers Apple to cough up half a BEEELLION dollars for ripping off chip designs

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Apple should countersue

Two Apple lawyers downvoting you for stealing their idea.

Or, more accurately, three people downvoted him/her/it for continuing with the tired old "rounded corners" trope..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: ICAN has Cheese?

Wisconsin = America's Dairyland

Hence the Green Bay Packers being subtitled as "The Cheeseheads"..

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Slapping crap bosses just got cheaper: Blighty's Supreme Court nixes tribunal fees

CrazyOldCatMan
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If Grayling et al aren't cringing in embarrassment when they read it, they are not fit for public office.

They are career politicians, and so, by definition, they are not fit or suitable for public office..

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Virgin Media's profanity warning triggered by chief exec's name

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Dianna Dichlich

No joke, and remarkably cool about it.

And so she should be - liches *are* undead y'know.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Filters

I must have missed that episode - what precisely did he pickup on Wimbledon Common?

Sadly, the episode involved never got past the censors. T'was made when the creator was in his.. "uncertain" period.

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Crappy hacker crew fingered for Bundestag snooping operation

CrazyOldCatMan
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That header picture..

.. is something quite familiar to me..

And I have the little toothmarks to prove it.

PS: CopyKittens better worry - the Israeli Intelligence services are not famed for their sense of humour or restraint..

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Snopes.com asks for bailout amid dispute over who runs the site and collects ad dollars

CrazyOldCatMan
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Who watches the watchmen?

Watcher McWatcherFace.

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Briton admits to router hack that DDoSed Deutsche Telekom

CrazyOldCatMan
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The self-taught programmer had been "studying computers since childhood"

Using Word != "studying computers"..

(For quite a while, Computing lessons in UK schools seemed to consist of teaching pupils how to use the office suite..)

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US vending machine firm plans employee chip implant scheme

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Why implanted?

The tags they add to animals leave quite a noticeable lump under the skin

They shouldn't (none of my 7 have a lump where the pet-chip is). It's possible that the injector wasn't sufficiently sharp and has caused trauma at the site, leading to scar tissue forming.

What does leave a noticable lump is having the pelvis held together by titanium rods.. As our second-youngest cat discovered when she decided to argue with an oncoming car.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: What REALLY worries me about this...

Cordless prefrontal lobotomies' for staff

Otherwise known as "management training".

With non-optional ethicsectomy (and that's not easy to thay)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Not a good plan?

Doesn't this make your location trackable?

Only at very short range. There are HiD tags that can be used for inventory tracking round a store but they tend to be a good bit larger than the rice-sized RFID tags mentioned here (for one thing, you need a much larger antenna to pick up the voltage needed to return the signal)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: We've been doing this to our pets for close to two decades.

Call it 25 years, since some cats manage to live that long

Two of ours when I was young lived to 22 and 24. Our longest (so far) is 18..

Oh, and we tend not to do detailed autopsies on them to find out if their implant caused their demise.

Even in pets, there are cases of cysts or tumours that form around the implanted RFID tag.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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That would be every pet owner's wet dream except the size of the device antenna makes it physically impossible.

Indeed. All the pets[1] at chez COCM are chipped. We ask the vets to check them when they have their regular MOT and it's quite often difficult for the vets to locate them with the hand scanners that they use. I suppose you could have bigger scanners with a significantly higher signal but I suspect you'd then run a higher risk of the EMF heating causing the pet problems.

[1] Apart from the fish (and me, obviously).I'd like to see a vet trying to get an RFID tag through the armoured skin of a pleco..

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Nationwide’s online banking goes down again

CrazyOldCatMan
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Good times? It's a bank

Err.. No. It's not. It's a Building Society - an equine of a very different hue.

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Al Capone was done for taxes. Now Microsoft's killing domain-squatters with trademark law

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Next up

Hell, if you roll the clock back 20 years I couldn't name 1 celebrity who actually owned thier own name.com... not 1

Me, me me! I've had my surname vanity domain for at least 25 years (got it as a freebie for attending a SunOS course!).

You could argue that I'm not a celeb, but in my own mind (and in my cat's minds) I qualify.

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Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Who comes up with these words?

Does these words come from military intelligence or re-branding marketers?

No - it's worse than that. They come from (lowers voice, whispers) Americans

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: AKA iPhone?

That probably explains my wasteline.

And, trust me, if you were eating spam it most certainly was a wasteline..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Teledildonics

interfacing with the front of tower units

Oh well - that's one way to give the computer it's fluid sacrifice. Personally, I'd prefer to use the traditional method of slicing onself on a bit of the chassis, but chacun a son inflammatory arthritis..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Teledildonics

plugged into the centronics port

Fnarr. He said 'centronics' And we all know what sort of filth that conveys eh?

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: I am still waiting

@Chronos.

I have only one thing to say - the fact that you can write all that without your intestines rising up your throat and strangling you indicates that you are, in fact, a Vogon.

Please report to your nearest immigration centre for Locational Reassignment.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Don't dis the innovative

"[...] and marmalades."

What sort of music is that?

It's a mashup between a madrigal and a carronade.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Sublimated Ear and Gaseous Elbow.

I was impressed at the self-restraint that prevented Gaseous Arse not being used instead.

Possibly rejected for being too close to home..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Sublimated Ear and Gaseous Elbow.

I thought they were Prog Rock bands.....

I don't think so. Although, Liquid Voice would be a fine band name, if only so that you can use the noise of Dabbsy gnashing his teeth as a suitable rhythm section..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "weaved"

He wove a pack of lies. He weaved his way through the crowds.

One is (I think), past-perfect (ie a complete past action) and the other is continuous historic.

Hopefully, someone who remembers more about English grammar will be along shortly to tell you all how wrong I was.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Spam

After I'd de-canned, sliced and fried it

And then promptly threw it in the bin[1] as utterly inedible?

It always amazes me that the Senior Controller who is, in almost all respects, a Perfect Person[2] nevertheless has an inexplicable fondness for the disgusting pink sludge that you get in a can of spam, preferrably fried until it has the consistency of very salty shoe leather.. Especially as (when we were first married) she didn't like sausages since they, apparently, had "everything in them excpet the squeak".

[1] Or fed to the dog. After all, the role they are most suited for in an enlightened household like mine is at the bottom of the social ladder[3] and thus, the cleaners-up of leftovers once the real owners (and us) had finished.

[2] Or so she tells me. And who am I to argue? It could be said that she has at least one flaw[4], but I'm not going to be the one to suggest it.

[3] Cats, her, me, dog.

[4] Well, she did marry me.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "weaved"

I have went

I assume that you live in Wiltshire. That seems the standard grammar round these parts.

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Agree on the paper

Also, could read Latin. And Anglo-Saxon.

Hic, haec, ad-hoc?

:-)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Has a customer ever apologised to you?

It worked, and I am always willing to work for cake.

Do you work in our server team? They appear to be powered by confectionaries..

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Q. What's today's top language? A. Python... no, wait, Java... no, C

CrazyOldCatMan
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I’ve been paid to develop in Pascal

My Polytechnic code assignment was to write a stock-control system in Pascal. In a dialect that had no random access file handling..

So I gave that up as a bad job and just wrote a reasonable demo instead. I got marked down a bit for not sticking to the brief and them marked up for my creative approach :-)

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "the thing just fell over,..it was computing a jump into the middle of a commented out section"

Ahhh. They just don't write code like that any more.

One of the big crash-landings[1] we had when I was a programmer was writing self-modifying code. Since we were writing for an environment where a single code segment couldn't exceed 4K (and that had been raised from the original 1K), some of the previous generations had done some fairly aggressive things to keep their code small..

Like having self-modifying code. Which is fine[2] when, in the old days, you only had a single thread to worry about and nothing would grab the CPU while your code was running, but by the time I got there, we had to code stuff so that it was re-entrant and could be used by multiple CPUs at once.

Which, of course, negated the advantage of self-modifying code since you could never guarentee how many CPUs were running your (single instance) code.

[1] Crash-landing was the term we cam e up for "if you do this it's an instant P45". Stuff like telling the CEO that he was an idiot..

[2] For a particularly difficult to maintain version of "fine". And trying to debug a core dump where the bit of code you are looking at doesn't match the source code isn't fun.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: COBOL FTW

Z80 and 6502 Assembler

Indeed. My first (real) computers were a Nascom 1 followed by a BBC Micro.

I did write a bit of X86 assembler during my (short) programmer phase even though I was (nominally) a mainframe programmer. But it was more fun to write an assembler utility that went round the (token-ring) LAN looking for OS/2 print servers and then enumerating all the stuff people had statched on the file shares on the server.

It was *fairly* network intensive, which is why I only ran it on the evening. Found some fairy 'interesting' stuff as well as quite an amount of warez.

This was sometime in the early 90's. When I was young and foolish.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: In over 40 years of programming ...

They are all tools, you just pick the best one for the job

Many (subjective) eons ago, I was a mainframe assembler programmer, writing (bad)[1] code for a system running TPF.

One of my siblings, having obtained various degrees and doctorates, was musing why we still bothered using such archaic languages when they had so many better ones in University..

I managed to restrain myself from beating him to death with a POPS manual[2] and suggested that the 40+ years-worth of code we were maintaining couldn't be replaced in a hurry, especially with languages where very few programmers existed and where there was no long-term commercial experience.

[1] One of the many, many reasons why I stopped[3] being a programmer and went into support.

[2] We chucked ours[4] away some time ago. Then, a few weeks later, discovered how much they were worth online. Doh!

[3] Some might claim I never really started. YMMV.

[4] Senior Controller was also a programmer, in the same company (we were married before we went there). She stuck at it considerably longer, being considerably better at it than I was. I was more of a 'hack it together and then fix it in testing' sort. She is one of those tedious^W meticulous types that actually preferred to design things first.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: I suspect there are quite a few Java devs out there

Fermat not Fermi.

Fermat is what I have at home - just inside the cat door. For them to wipe their feet[1] rather than carefully preserving the cold-and-dampness so that they can walk all over me in the night[2]..

[1] Sadly, this little exercise in cat-training hasn't really worked. Probably because I struggled to think of how to reward them for doing it. And, in general, cats are mercenary little blighters.

[2] In oh, so many ways. After all, how many people would get up at 3am to let out the youngest cat[3] who really, really can't be bothered to use the cat door to go out. She's happy to use it to come in though. Probably because of the lack of suitable servants waiting outside to let her in.

[3] She of the multiple paranoia-syndrome. Even her paranoia is paranoid about the other paranoias she has..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "It's all well and good saying that you have 10 years experience in Java. "

after HR had confirmed I didn't drool on the carpet or attack people at random

So - not fast-tracked to senior management then?

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: I suspect there are quite a few Java devs out there

you have 10 years experience

10 years experience or one year repeated 10 times? Quite an important difference..

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: I suspect there are quite a few Java devs out there

The question is how many of them are good?

I know at least one. Admittedly, he is related to me so I might possibly just be biased..

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Moneysupermarket fined £80,000 for spamming seven million customers

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: How much would it take ...

In the end I wrote a Sendmail milter

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I'd managed to forget my days of having to wrangle sendmail and you've now bought it all flooding back!

I'm going to blame tonight's two bottles of wine on you[1]. Hopefully that'll wash away memories of Friday night spent down at the sendmail.cf[2]

[1] It's a good excuse anyway. Admittedly, said bottles were already on tonight's plan and now I can blame them on you when the Senior Controller at home asks. It's a win/win[3]

[2] Bonus points if you can remember the song that that line is stolen from (apart from the sendmail bit)

[3] Except, possibly, for my braincells and liver. But the wine vendor will be happy.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Personally speaking,

Which is why you generate unique email addresses at a cheap domain host, with forwarding to your "real" account.

Or - if you use a real MTA like qmail on your own server, you either make your address the catchall for the domain (or generate another account and use that) and use non-existant addresses that are specific to the organisation[1] to the left of the @ sign..

I suspect postfix will do something similar.

[1] So, to the website dodgyvendor.co.uk you give the address dodyvendor@[yourdomain]. If you then get spam to that address you'll know that someone there has either sold your address to the scum, or that DodgyVentor is living up to the name.. At which point you configure your firewall to reject any attempts to email that address.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Personally speaking,

Having worked on the edges of marketing, I think many of those involved are so shallow and ill-informed

This is very true - in previous ork-places I've sometimes had to be The Voice of Sanity[1] when Marketing people (ie the people who wish they could do sales but don't have the empathy required to be a good salesperson) suggest something so astoundingly stupid[2] that it's not only a bad idea, but quite possibly illegal as well..

[1] Not a role that comes naturally to me at all. I'm a cat person after all..

[2] One had heard of BlueJacking and wanted to use it to push adverts to passers-by. I had to a) explain in words of one syllable why it was such a bad idea and b) go over his head to the senior marketing person who, despite being in Marketing, was actually a very smart person indeed. She told him in no uncertain terms that, had he tried to put that idea into practice, he'd find himself in P45-land ASAP and also reported to the Police. He never really forgave me.

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Authorities go hard on coffee maker for stiff Viagra-powered brew

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: drooping sales?

(it's like calling redbush 'tea' ffs!)

ObPedant:

Strictly speaking, tea is defined as "leaves steeped in water". So Roibush certainly qualifies. It's only us odd people on the edge of Europe that deem only Camellia Siniinses to be canonical "tea".

/OP

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They say we're too mean to Microsoft. Well, how about this... Redmond just had a stonking year. And only 8% tax. Whee!

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Love the socialist speak

Oh, I don't know. Little things like roads, schools, law and order, national defence.

I read quite a fine article t'other day on the differences between the US and Canada on the attitudes to tax and the practical consequences.

Article is here:

https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/07/canada-america-taxes/533847/

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Tax rebates?

They're legally obligated to their shareholders to apply for the tax rebate.

We've been through this before. There is *no* legal obligation (and BTW - the word you are looking for is "obliged") for a corporation to make money any way they can.

The legal obligation is to balance profit, expenditure and other factors[1] to provide the long-term stability and profitability to their shareholders. Not to make every fast buck that they can.

[1] Reputation, goodwill, research, IPR, etc etc etc.

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CrazyOldCatMan
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Hmm..

but also in buying up Microsoft stock to make sure that the price stays high

Why is this not classified as illegal share-price manipulation? I know this might seem a somewhat simplistic question but surely it's effectively the same as insider trading?

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So, FCC, how about that massive DDoS? Hello? Hello...? You still there?

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: John Oliver

Britain may yet win the American Revolution!

Ah - but would we want to? Far more satisfying to sit at a distance poking with a (very) long stick..

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US Homeland Sec boss has snazzy new laptop bomb scanning tech – but admits he doesn't know what it's called

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: Built in Timer

I'm assuming that the range would be sufficient etc.

Very unlikely, given how much metal there is between the cattle-cabin and the cargo hold..

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Alphabay shutdown: Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do? Not use your Hotmail...

CrazyOldCatMan
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Re: "even with the gaul"

Would that be Asterix then?

Well - it was an easy way to Getafix..

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