* Posts by Dippywood

47 posts • joined 5 Oct 2015

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

Dippywood

A Soft Landing...

Put them at the base of the 'brexit cliff' we are about to go over (apparently) and use them to cushion the fall...

Schneier: Don't expect Uncle Sam to guard your web privacy – it's Europe riding to the rescue

Dippywood

When the Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth...

Millions of years ago, when I was at university, there was a compulsory module called "The Engineer in Society" that sought to make students aware of the sociological impact that their work could have.

It seems these days that too many are unaware of such things.

Or perhaps they just don't care.

Ah well, maybe I am in a minority as someone who rues the day that such niceties have been lost - or actively dismissed by the likes of Google abandoning the "do no evil' maxim.

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

Dippywood

A new take on a classic game

Announcing Colossal Airport Adventure

YOU ARE IN A REGIONAL AIRPORT FILLED WITH WARREN-LIKE PASSAGES LEADING ONTO NARROW WALKWAY AFTER NARROW WALKWAY, ALL LINED WITH STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE SHOPS AND FURTHER DIVIDED BY QUEUE BARRIERS WITH RETRACTABLE FABRIC SWABS FOR A LONG, LONG, SNAKING 1KM – FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WITH NO PASSPORT CONTROL OR SECURITY CHECK TO ACCOUNT FOR IT.

find boarding pass

CANNOT USE BOARDING PASS WITH NO PASSPORT

find passport

PASSPORT IS STILL AT SECURITY

return to security

YOU ARE IN A REGIONAL AIRPORT FILLED WITH WARREN-LIKE PASSAGES LEADING ONTO NARROW WALKWAY AFTER NARROW WALKWAY, ALL LINED WITH STUPIDLY EXPENSIVE SHOPS AND FURTHER DIVIDED BY QUEUE BARRIERS WITH RETRACTABLE FABRIC SWABS FOR A LONG, LONG, SNAKING 1KM – FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WITH NO PASSPORT CONTROL OR SECURITY CHECK TO ACCOUNT FOR IT.

....

Ah, this military GPS system looks shoddy but expensive. Shall we try to break it?

Dippywood

VHS Tape Case as a Measurement Unit?

Nowhere near obscure enough - the VCR tape case of choice would have to be the Philips V2000 for maximum incomprehensibility. A technically superior unit of measure therefore destined to fail...

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

Dippywood

Pocket Sundial

When sorting though my late father's belongings I came a pocket sundial - a nice embossed brass folding thingie with a compass embedded in to too.Of archaic interest, but at least it IS interesting!

Go big (with our bandwidth) or go home, Verizon: Texas mulls outlawing 911 throttling after Cali wildfire fiasco

Dippywood

The FCC again

FCC = F$%k Consumers Completely?

Just seems pertinent

I am just a mapper: Solar drones take to the skies above Blighty

Dippywood

Re: What goes up with the aid of a launcher...

As well they might - however the runway used was considerably more 'conventional' than the ones the navy pilots have with their launchers on. They get arrestors too, IIRC

Dippywood

What goes up with the aid of a launcher...

Crashes hard without one?

Kwik-Fit hit by MOT fail, that's Malware On Target

Dippywood

Oil be the first to say that you wouldn't make brake puns if the shoe was on the other foot. For anyone following this t(h)read, it's just a battery of bad jokes. Perhaps time to (fan) belt up and watch the company tracking its way to the hub of the issue.

I feel better now. Wheely I do...

Florida man's deadliest catch forces police to evacuate Taco Bell

Dippywood

Role Reversal

This time the human caused an automatic evacuation of Taco Bell.

Normally, Taco Bell causes humans to auto-evacuate - the only gamble is on direction...

Detailed: How Russian government's Fancy Bear UEFI rootkit sneaks onto Windows PCs

Dippywood

Re: The real solution

Just a Minix, that's too easy...

Pork pulled: Plug jerked out of beacon of bacon delight

Dippywood

One Purchase Per Customer

Don't be a pig!

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

Dippywood

...but may also run afoul of US laws forbidding cruel and unusual punishment

This in a country that tells someone that the state will kill them, sometime, eventually, when it finally decides that it can, and then seeks inventive ways to carry out the sentence after a person has spent years on death row.

Hypocritical, to say the least - Frozen should be the least of their worries

Careful with this latest Microsoft release – tug too hard on the threads and it tends to unravel

Dippywood

A special jumper to celebrate the delights of the October build of Windows 10

That would be in BSOD blue, of course...

Shift-work: Keyboards heaped in a field push North Yorks council's fly-tipping buttons

Dippywood

Missed one!

Upon Cursor-y examination...

Robot Operating System gets the Microsoft treatment

Dippywood

Re: Now this is in my head...

Not quite forever...

I think it goes something like this:- "my first instructor was Satya Nadella,...he taught me to sing a song. It goes like this..."

A story of M, a failed retailer: We'll give you a clue – it rhymes with Charlie Chaplin

Dippywood

Re: but there's still Digikey & Mouser

Don't forget the F-word...

Farnell

Dippywood

Ironic, isn't it?

Maplin started as a mail-order business many, many moons ago - that distance-selling mindset should have helped with the on-line. Ironic that a business that was originally not about retail sites was killed off by the retail side...

UKIP doubled price of condoms for sale at party conference

Dippywood

Re: Not for me

Come again?

Dippywood

First we screwed the country, now let's screw each other.

You're alone in a room with the Windows 10 out-of-the-box apps. What do you do?

Dippywood

If you found yourself in charge of the in-box Windows 10 apps, what would you do with them?

Install Linux

Deliveroo to bike food to hungry fanbois queuing to buy iPhones

Dippywood

Good for the Goose

One imagines that Deliveroo will charge double the going rate for every dish to these queuers in order to get them ready for the Apple technology pricing strategy...

Holy macaroni! After months of number-crunching, behold the strongest material in the universe: Nuclear pasta

Dippywood

Re: making them the densest objects in the known universe.

Trump's head contains vacuum.

So dense that he is not even air-headed - the Trump Dichotomy.

Detroit sh*t shifter's operating costs waste away with Oracle's cloud

Dippywood

The DWSD is now reliant upon...

Oracle Database Excretedata Cloud Service...

Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

Dippywood

"...so they can make sure they're also forearmed"

Is it the strange practice of "forearming" that spreads it then? No wonder there's confusion regarding the use of the condom...

Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

Dippywood

Time...

... to git while the gittings good

El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot

Dippywood

To avoid spillage, why not move the beer in some kind of sealed, pressurised container with a tap fitted?

Perhaps one could give such a container a name: keg, perhaps?

Oh...

HomePod, you say? Sex sex sex, that's all you think about

Dippywood

Comb?

A comb - to treat the symptoms? Address the problem at source, and make the gift a tongue razor!

Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers

Dippywood

Re: C30 C60 C90 Go!

I have this on at least 2 compilation CD's...

Go Wild in the Country and I Want Candy too.

But don't worry, the rest of the compilations contain music

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Dippywood

Move it Further North

Freeze the thing in a domestic freezer. When time to cook, cover two Mars-bars in liquid nitrogen and, when down to temperature, remove them from the liquid and shatter them with a hammer.

Place the shattered Mars-bars atop the frozen Yorkshire-pizza thingie, and immerse in a thick beer batter.

Remove coated delicacy from batter and deep-fry.

Server together with Tennant's Super or white cider.

What employs half a million people, just did $44bn in sales, and rhymes with Azerbaijan?

Dippywood

Re: I don't know

Let's not forget the "supercilious, formalistic silly words surround us" form that pops up at every mention of the West Coast.

I prefered the sarky headlines - but someone seems to have taken to heart the old saying "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." Whether the saying is true or not, I's like to see more of the sarky taglines!

Please activate the anti-ransomware protection in your Windows 10 Fall Creators Update PC. Ta

Dippywood

"The controlled folder access mechanism within Windows Defender prevents suspicious applications from changing the contents of selected protected folders."

Turned this on, went to check email. OUTLOOK.EXE is blocked.

OUTLOOK.EXE??

Another well thought out feature, then!

Samsung's Galaxy Note 8 is hot, but not much more than the S8+

Dippywood

Re: "the wrong accents on your text will completely change it's meaning"

I must be a grocer :-)

That is not normally an error I make, but mea culpa

Dippywood

Re: What use the stylus?

They exist - and you are right that the Vietnamese use them well - but you need to remember all the shortcuts to get the diacritics.

Not practical for an occasional user.

Dippywood

What use the stylus?

I have a Note 4, and whilst I like the stylus, in most circumstances it is just a "nice thing to have."

However, there is something for which i have found it essential:- correctly entering Vietnamese text into Google Translate.

For those not in the know, Vietnamese uses the Latin alphabet with diacritics marking the tones, inflexions and guttural stops - having the wrong accents on your text will completely change it's meaning. Since camera input does not work, being able to write the word is very useful, and saves trying to remember the keyboard trickery required to get the right diacritics in the appropriate places.

Since I am married into a Vietnamese family, this is a life-saver!

Niche perhaps, but suits me!

It's paydaygeddon! NatWest account transfers 'disappearing' (not really)

Dippywood

Haven't we been here before? Ah well, BACS to the future

Royal Navy's newest ship formally named in Glasgow yard

Dippywood

HMS Forth, due to enter service with the RPN in 2018...

Too obscure?

Reg man 0: Japanese electronic toilet 1

Dippywood

Warm Seats

I have always thought that the only thing worse than a cold seat is a warm one, since that normally implies that you are a follow-on visitor...

That said, having encountered one of these beasties some years ago in a Japanese-owned hotel in Vietnam, I was left thinking that a small screen on the cubicle door running an animated instructional video might be amusing - just think of the fun one could have with the graphics!

Childcare app bods wipe users' data – then discover backups had been borked for a year

Dippywood

Re: So much for Due Dilligence...

Q. What person smart enough to make backups in the first place fails to check to make sure the backups are useable?

A. An expensive consultant

I am Craig Wright, inventor of Craig Wright

Dippywood

Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

Surely Bob's your uncle.

Don't call him Surely, though.

Learn you Func Prog on five minute quick!

Dippywood

That explaination

My gratitude is infinitesimal...

UK universities unveil £28m hub for Internet of Things

Dippywood

Re: They'll connect the hub to the smart beer fridge...

Perhaps it's a fridge for smart beer...

I would assume that smart beer would contain a "chemical fingerprint" (a la smart water) that would only be apparent once the beer rental period was complete. A quick flash of UV light on the walls and pavements near pubs would show the "audit trails" and allow the problem to be traced back to source.

Now, combining this with the "quick jolt of 230V" mentioned elsewhere and you have a self-correcting and auditable scheme for tackling this particular anti-social habit. But I digress...

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Dippywood

Having joined the "flexible workspace program," Jane now need to prove that she could get into the workspace.

Dippywood

Tech Support? Good. Folded at a right-angle, as requested. No, no, the screen is still not right...

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Dippywood

I can't believe you lugged that all the way into the forest

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